Okay, this chapter is really quite odd, just re-reading over it now. It's Hermione's turn to be OOC, but I thought that this might be her views on some things, and after all she's been through, her reaction. Nice flames, if any, please!

Check the note at the moment if anyone wants a good laugh!

Warning though, swearing occurs a fair bit in this chapter, just to help get the annoyance across. Hope no one is offended!

Enjoy this chapter!

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Chapter Nineteen

Dinner Saturday night proved to be a very uncomfortable meal. At the urging of both her stomach and her friends, Hermione descended into the Great Hall to join her classmates for the first time in over a week. People seemed surprised to see her entire the Hall, and she was glad that she had not returned before all of her boils had healed, she could not imagine allowing the others to see the Head Girl in such a state.

Much to her surprise, when she looked at the Staff Table, Professor Snape was seated in his usual spot. Just as she looked at him, he looked up and their eyes met. From such a distance, Hermione could not read them, did not want to. She didn't want to see that hate in them. Lowering her head, she scurried over to the Gryffindor table to join her House.

"Snape's not looking happy," Ginny commented.

Ron let out a snort. "When does that greasy bat ever look happy?" The mention of bats lead Hermione to think of the wings she had seen Snape with during her dreams. They weren't bat wings, they were beautiful, feathered wings. He wasn't a bat, she thought, her eyes narrowing.

Seeming to notice her eyes, Ron put down his fork with force. "Look, I'm sorry Hermione. You can say as much as you like that he was a great carer and that it's thanks to him that you're all better, but the point is, he still made you cry!"

"He doesn't look angry though," Ginny jumped in from Harry's left. She gave Hermione a meaningful look.

Hermione couldn't help but wonder what Ginny was going on about. First her comment earlier about him wanting her around… what was she pointing at? That Snape really was sad because now that she was feeling better, she'd be back with her friends? Why on earth would Ginny think such ridiculous thoughts?

Pointedly ignoring the two of them, Hermione tucked into her stew as best she could, despite her sudden loss of appetite. Hang on, what did she even care what Snape felt? It was with the force of a sledgehammer that she realised she did care what he thought. More over, she cared for the man himself. Well, at least the man who had sat with her and read to her, not the man who had thrown her out of his rooms with such an icy hand.

Frowning at this thought, she looked up at the man, only to her meeting his eyes again. Again, they both looked away. Ginny was right, he did look sad. But that couldn't be right, it just couldn't be. Snape would never have wanted her to stay, he could never have thought of her as a friend, despite how kind he'd been.

Knowing she wasn't going to be able to eat with all these thoughts in her head, Hermione stood, bid her friends goodnight and went to bed.

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Why had he been so stupid and gone to the Great Hall for dinner? He should have just asked for his meal to be brought down to his dungeons again. He couldn't describe what he felt when his eyes met those of the Miss Granger when she entered the Hall, the rush of something when their eyes met, dismay when she turned from him.

He had spent all day sitting in his rooms, anger stirring, replaced with sorrow at times. At first he couldn't understand what was going on, but slowly, ever so slowly realisation had come over him. He hadn't wanted the student to leave his presence. He had enjoyed those days, finishing teaching and entering his rooms to find a woman waiting for him, someone to talk to, someone to share ideas with. His reputation preceded him both in and out of the school, often making it hard for him to have a decent conversation with someone who did not wear the judgement of him so openly on their faces. His past had caused more discomfort then pleasure.

But Miss Granger had been something different. She had talked with him, shared ideas with him, and never once looked upon him with disgust. He had cared for her during her illness, and unbeknown to him at the time, felt care for the young woman herself. She had seemed to enjoy his company, wanted to talk to him.

How had he ended it? But tossing her from his rooms as though he'd used her all up and was bored with her now.

When he realised, anger had scorched his body again, leaving him unable to think of nothing else. "Fool! Fucking fool!" He had muttered to himself as anger burn through his body, when Miss Granger had so quickly dropped her eyes and hurried across the room. Oh, he knew he had hurt her by his coldness, but he didn't realise just how much he would hurt himself by doing so.

"Is there a problem?" Filius Flitwick asked kindly, looking at him. Snape scowled at himself again, how dare he allow the tiny wizard to notice his distress.

"I'm just tired." He snapped dismissively.

"Ah, yes," Filius nodded. "You've been looking after Miss Granger this week, haven't you?" He smiled kindly. "Well, we all know how you feel about students. Though I must say it was awfully good of her to still get all her homework done during her ailment."

Snape's hands curled into fists under the table, gripping his robes tight. If only that tiny annoying shit had known that he, Severus Snape, had spent his evenings sitting with the witch, helping her with her homework, bewitching his hand to appear as though it was her writing, and not his own, cramped, spiky letters. It had marvelled him to write in such soft, curly handwriting, and he noticed only then how beautiful her hand writing was. Not that'd told her so.

"Well, we all know that know-it-all Gryffindor couldn't dare get a moment behind." He sneered at his colleague.

Filius kept eating, as though Snape had commented on how nice she was, much to Snape's disgust. "She needn't have worried, she's three chapters in front of the entire seventh year! She could do her NEWTs tomorrow and still get the highest grades in years."

Hearing this, Professor Hayrung, who was sitting on Snape's other side, leaned forward. "I've never met such a bright young witch."

Soon the whole staff table was talking about Miss Granger, who Snape found his eyes searching for. He found her just in time to find her looking up at him from where she sat, flanked by her bodyguards. He felt a rush of something again, and then anger when her eyes dropped back to her plate, before she stood and left. But in that one second that their eyes had shared, Snape felt a thousand things. More then anything, he felt her pain.

Snape watched her as she left, then watching the ever perfect Potter stand and leave behind her, leaving the two Weasley chit's at the table, looking bewildered. But he didn't care about that. What he cared about was that he should have been the one to leave after Miss Granger, to tell her he was sorry for being so cruel. Not the Potter boy. But Snape felt rooted to his seat.

Coward was all he could think, as he too rose and left the Head Table.

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Jogging, Harry caught up with Hermione, just as she was heading into her bedroom. "Hermione, wait up!" He cried, just as she was shutting the door. He was surprised when she hesitated for a moment before opening the door wider and letting him into her private bedroom.

"What's wrong?" He asked, as she flopped onto the bed.

"I don't know. I'm just a little…" her hand waved in the air. "Confused, I suppose." She pulled herself up into a sitting position.

Harry sat at the end of the bed. "Confused? About what?" He asked, his hands picking at invisible bits of fluff. He'd only ever seen his best friend like this when it involved one of two things: Voldemort, who was now gone, or homework, which couldn't be the case at the moment.

"Why does Ron have to be so bloody cruel to Professor Snape?" Hermione burst out. Harry nearly fell off the bed, hearing this. "I'm sick of it, Harry, sick of it! The war is fucking over, but no one can let go of it. All the prejudices, all the masks, why can't it all fucking go away!" She stood and began to pace, wrapping her arms around herself.

Shocked as he was to hear such an outburst from his friend, Harry knew where she was coming from. He was sure he was almost the only student in the entirety of Hogwarts who did. "I know, Hermione, I don't get it either."

"No, you bloody well don't!" Hermione yelled. "You weren't down there, you didn't see him. Harry, for the first time in my life I saw that man! I saw what this fucking war has done to him, and knew that it'd done it to hundreds like him, but no one fucking cares, they think it's all about the fucking glory, they forget about the people who worked hard!"

Although he'd never heard his friend swear this much, this was not what shocked him. He had never stopped to think of what the war had done to Severus Snape.

"What about the people who lost their lives or parts of their lives to that fucking bastard!" Hermione picked up a pillow and tore it open. "If only Ron and everyone else knew the effects, the real effects." Tears rolled down her cheek.

"How can we expect him to understand, Hermione?" Harry said quietly. "He was never there, he never saw anything. He never saw Voldemort, like we did, remember? He had been knocked out. Ron doesn't understand what it's like to have what you loved ripped away from you, he's family is all safe now."

"But how can he be so cold, so cruel, so judgemental?" Hermione asked, frustrated.

Taking a breath, Harry didn't know how to say what was needed. "Hermoine… Snape killed Dumbledore, remember? Whether he was being controlled or not, Ron can only see the cold, heartless asshole that we've had for the last seven years as the cold, heartless asshole that killed Dumbledore." He managed, quietly. "Ron has trouble with acceptance, you know that."

"Emotion range of a teaspoon," Hermione joked quietly, brushing some tears away from her face.

Harry allowed her a smile, as she sat down on the bed. "Exactly. He won't ever understand. First impressions always last, Hermione. We've seen the horrible side of Snape for our entire education now; you can't blame us for fretting when you were forced to spend a week with him, ill. He wouldn't let us come see you, we didn't hear from you, we didn't know anything that was going on. And then you come back, all upset. What's Ron going to think?"

He watched his friend think this over. "I wasn't sure what to think either, Harry, when I first realised. But he was so good to me." She sniffled. "He talked to me, he taught me, I think he almost cared for me. I saw what the war had done to him, and now that I know that it would have done the same to so may others, Ron's attitude just drives me crazy!"

"You can't change him," Harry smiled. "Nor can you change what happened during the war to change anyone else… or the fact that I still haven't done all my Charms homework." He watched in amazement as the academic side of Hermione took over and she began to lecture her.

When she paused, and noticed his grin, they both started laughing, putting the war behind them.

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Hm, not too happy with this, but I'll keep it anyway. I figured Hermione needed to have an outburst.

Important note! If anyone needs a good giggle, please email me, I have the BEST link for anyone who loves Snape, you've probably all seen it before, but I was rolling after I saw it, it's just wonderful! So yes, just email me on sparkling silver angel wingsat hot mail (underscore between every word).

Thanks for all the reviews!

Carebearerin, I was thrilled to get you review just a moment after I posted, I love getting reviews while I'm still online, knowing that people are actually reading my story right then! Sorry, but major cool feeling!

And Severus might just break down very soon, Velvet Storm

Bi-Polar Snape! That's just so funny, and so true, thanks Tinas74

I can't wait for your update JTBJAB!

I get the feeling you're waiting for something, Vespera3 ;-)

Aw, siriusluv, you made me blush!

LOL, thank you Caitee for your review, nice to know I have fans! ;-)

Llamas to you too, Kiera Lee, I love llamas, aren't they so cool?

NayNay, I love the slippers as well, thought they'd be a nice touch. And she had to feed him, she was worried about the poor lamb! And as for Ginny – female intuition, never fails.

Hope you think what you find in the next chapter, Severus-Fan, when everything comes a crashing (or soaring, depending on how you want to put it ;-) – you'll just have to wait and see, but I can't wait, it's going to be so much fun to write!)

Oh yes, Tragic Fanstasy, he will miss her, and already does, as will be told in the next chapter.

Oooo, I'm in such a crazy mood, after re-watching that video, serious, you guys have to see it (won't post link here, am scared that it won't work and I'll look like a fool)

Wish I could write and post the next chapter now, I'm looking forward to it, but must go to bed, am sleepy and have the wonderful school tomorrow…. Everyone wish me luck though, I've got a big test tomorrow!

Thank you all for reading and reviewing!