When you try your best
But you don't succeed
When you get what you want
But not what you need
When you feeling tired,
But you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse…
Fix You-Coldplay

She couldn't sleep. She felt miserable nothing was helping her at all and the weird thing was that she was actually really tired. She shut her eyes and tried to fall asleep, but it didn't work. She was desperate so she even tried counting sheep, but all she could think of was what had happened earlier. She rolled over and set her gaze upon Lucas. After she came to him he had invited her into the house, of course she accepted knowing that there was no place else for her to go. It was getting late and she didn't want to go home so he said she could take his mother's room. Brooke wasn't in yet and his mom had told him earlier that she would be out with Andy, they had gotten back together, so he assumed that she wouldn't be back until sometime in the morning—or the afternoon considering that she had to take care of the café. She was hesitant at first, but he assured her that no one would have to know that she was here and so she accepted.

She didn't know what was wrong with her. Was this all like karma kicking her in the ass because she had made some mistakes in the past? This was all really too much to handle between her father, Elizabeth, and not to mention her whole confusion situation with Lucas. Right now she envied him. He was sleeping peacefully and she wished she could do the same, but she couldn't. She felt like she had been going backwards this whole day—this whole month. She was so broken right now and felt like he was the only one who would be able to fix her. He was the only one she could talk to right now, the only one who would understand.

"Is it morning yet?" Her eyes shot open and she nearly jumped out of her skin. The one moment when she finally closed her eyes and thought she could get some sleep, he chose to get up. She rolled over a little to look at the digital alarm clock on Karen's nightstand.

"It's 3:30 in the morning, Lucas. Go back to sleep." She whispered, hoping that he would just listen to her and go back to sleep so they wouldn't have to talk.

"I can't… I'm already awake." He shifted as he set his gaze upon her.

"Great." She frowned.

"And since I know you haven't gotten much sleep either, I was hoping we could talk." He eased up on the situation. He knew if he said the wrong thing Peyton would probably just run out, she wasn't really an easy person to deal with when she was angry or sad, but then again who was?

Peyton practically groaned at the mention of talking. She didn't really want to talk about it, atleast not now.

"I'm okay Lucas… honestly, I don't want to bother you with my stupid problems. You've obviously got your own and—"

"You're problems aren't stupid, Peyt. We could talk about it or we could not talk about it whatever you want. I just want you to know that I'm here to listen. I'm always going to be here for you."

She looked fearfully over at him and nodded. God, she loved him. He was the only would who understood her—the only one who understood anything that she was going through. He was the only one she could trust right now, it had been like that since their summer together. She had grown used to it, but why couldn't she just tell him that? She was just so scared to let him in.

"She's my mother Lucas. My dad, he—he..." She couldn't bring herself to say what happened.

Lucas placed a comforting hand atop of her own, "We can talk about this when you're ready…" He waited for her to say something, but she never did.

"Or we just won't." He added.

"He lied to me. Elizabeth and my mom were best friends in high school. They did everything together. They were even cheerleaders together. That all changed once Elizabeth started going out with my dad even though she knew my mom—Anna, had a thing for him and my dad had a thing for her." She stopped talking and turned to see his reaction.

"Sound familiar to you, too?" He just nodded.

"To make a long story short they dated until senior year, Elizabeth realized that she couldn't play second string anymore. My mom and dad got married right of college. They had been having problems shortly after that so they separated. My dad had a chance meeting with Elizabeth, they had a one-night stand and she ran away. Then when my parents were back together again the bitch decides to come back with me. She claimed she couldn't take care of me so she left me with my dad." Peyton couldn't help but feel resentment towards Elizabeth. She was making her life a living hell.

"Peyton I'm so sorry." He said sympathetically. He couldn't stand to see her like this.

"Can you believe her? I doubt she even knew that my mother died before she came into town claiming to be my "real" mother. I bet she didn't even care! How could she do this? She practically disowned me when I was a baby and now she's trying to come back in my life. I'm not gonna let her do this to me, Luke. I can't."

"Peyt I know it's hard and I know you're probably going to hate what I have to say, but you need to talk to Elizabeth… and your dad."

"I won't."

"I'm not saying that you have to talk to Elizabeth right away, but your dad, he's not going to be here tomorrow or the next week or probably the next week after that. It could be months before you see him again. Remember what you told me when I told you about my HCM? Sometimes we lie to protect the people that we love. Your father was just trying to protect you. He was probably afraid." Peyton took Lucas' words into consideration even though she knew he would use her words against her, he always did. She knew what he was saying was right, but she didn't want it to be. She didn't want to listen to him right now. She wanted her mother back. What she really wanted was for this all to go away.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because those are all the same reasons why I only told you about the HCM. Everyday I get up before mom and Brooke, I go to the bathroom and I take my medicine. I walk out and find a place to hide it somewhere because I'm afraid that if my mom or Brooke finds it than they'll find out that I really do have the HCM. I don't ever want to see the look on my mom's face once she finds out, Peyton. That's why I have to keep it a secret… that's why I lie about it. It's the only way."

Peyton nodded. She was in no position to scold him or tell him that if he actually told his mom he would feel better because she knew that that was just a bunch of bullshit. She wasn't going to judge him.

"So are you—you know ever going to tell her?"

"I don't know. I kinda want to spare her the pain of knowing, you know? I'm more afraid of her finding out than what she'll do if she walks into her room to see us lying here."

They both let out a laugh despite the irony or somewhat depression they were both going through at this very moment.

"About that—I should go—"

"No, Peyton it's fine that you're here. Like I told you earlier my mom's definitely staying at Andy's and with the stuff she has to do at the café she probably won't be back here until the afternoon and Brooke, she sleeps through anything. She won't even notice."

Once again she took his statement into consideration, he was probably right.

"Okay."

"Good. Now we can try to get some sleep." Well that was easy for him to say.

"I can't—I can't sleep."

"If you want to talk some more—"

"No," She shook her head, "That's not it. I want to go to sleep and I am tired, but I just can't. I've tried ever since we came in here and nothing seems to work. I just—forget it, it's stupid."

"Peyton, you can tell me." He urged.

"I just want to be able to close my eyes, wake up, and hopefully learn that everything my dad told me was just some nightmare, some horrible nightmare, but I know that's not possible… I told you it was stupid."

"It isn't stupid. You had a rough day; hell you've had a rough year. We've all hit our low points at one time or another this is just another obstacle that you've gotta overcome."

Once again she looked fearfully over at him, "And what if I can't?"

"You will and I'll be right there beside you."

After their conversation last night, Peyton had finally gone to sleep. It took some time, but it was worth it. She finally opened her eyes to see Lucas staring at her. She wondered how long he had been doing so.

"Morning."

"Morning." He finally took his gaze off of her.

"How long have you been staring at me?" She asked and he let out a short laugh.

"You caught me… for about a few minutes."

"Did your mom come home?"

"No… not yet. It's 9 so she might come back in a couple of hours or something."

"Oh no, I've gotta go. My dad's gonna be leaving in about an hour. I want to catch him before he leaves." She got up from the bed and stretched.

"Did you come with your car?" Peyton shook her head, "Then I'll drive you back so you could catch him on time."

She nodded gratefully, "Thanks Luke."

"It's no problem." He stood up and after that they both walked to the door.

He placed his hand on the doorknob and turned to her, "Come on let's get out of here before—"

He opened the door and before the words completely came out of his mouth she was already standing there with a smirk and a questioning look.

"Well, well, well if it isn't broody and P Sawyer." Brooke couldn't contain the smirk off of her face. She had saw them sleeping in each other's arm a little earlier when she peeked into Karen's room to see if she was there, but instead she saw something better. She couldn't wait to tease them about it even though she knew it was completely innocent.

"Brooke, I—um, this—this isn't what it looks like." Peyton stuttered her way through her excuse.

"Oh?" She arched her brow, "Then what is it?"

"I—"

"Because it looks to me like you and Lucas just came out of Karen's bedroom together, might I ask what you two were doing in there?" Brooke loved every minute of this, teasing them was so fun.

"Brooke." Lucas blushed as he avoided her gaze.

Brooke sighed, "Okay… okay, I'm just joking. I saw you guys sleeping a few hours ago. I know it was totally innocent, I was just teasing." Lucas and Peyton both nodded and were ready to get out of the house before any more embarrassment.

"Here's a tip though, the next time you wanna spend the night with Lucas, lock the door." She joked.

"Brooke!" An even more embarrassed Peyton cried out.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. So are you two going to tell Karen about this?" Lucas and Peyton glanced at each other again; they hoped Karen wouldn't suddenly appear.

"We—"

"Tell me about what?" Karen asked as she walked into the house and to the hall where the three teenagers were standing.

"Tell you that my dad—he's leaving town tomorrow… we just thought you should know." Peyton quickly covered up.

"Right." Lucas and Brooke both nodded.

"Oh? I'm sorry Peyton, I know how much you miss him when he's gone." She added sympathetically.

"Okay… mom we have to get going. I'm going to drive Peyton back home so she could catch her dad in time." And with that they were gone.

"You think they'll ever realize what's between them?" Brooke asked once she was sure Peyton and Lucas were out of the house.

Karen shook her head and laughed, "With how stubborn the both are, I doubt it'd be anytime soon."

As soon as Peyton and Lucas pulled up in front of her house, she spotted her father putting his suitcase in the trunk of the taxi. He was actually going to leave without saying goodbye.

"Thank you once again." She hopped out of Luke's car and shut the door.

"It was no problem. Listen, call me if you need someone to talk to—anything."

She smiled at his kind words, "Okay." And with that she took off to stop her dad before he left.

"So you were just going to leave without saying goodbye?" She asked once she got his attention.

Larry frowned, seeing his daughter's sad face just broke his heart.

"I didn't think you wanted to talk to me, let only see my face, so I left you a note."

"Dad I don't want us to be like this."

She watched as hope glimmered in his eyes, "So you forgive me?"

"Not yet… but I will, eventually." He nodded and turned towards the cab door. He was about to get in until Peyton stopped him.

"Daddy wait."

"Yes?" He turned to face her again.

"I love you." She whispered as she gave him one last hug before he went off.

Larry smiled as he heard those words from his daughter; there was hope for them yet.

"I love you, too chicken." They both reluctantly pulled out of their hug and Peyton had stood in her same spot on the sidewalk, watching the taxi until she couldn't see it anymore before she went inside.

Hours later Peyton had finally came out of her room and headed to the kitchen only to see Haley sitting at the kitchen table.

She looked up from nothing in particular and greeted Peyton, "Hey P Boogie."

"Hey Hales." Peyton took a seat at the table.

"So where were you all night?" Haley asked. Her tone oddly similar to Brooke's when she saw Lucas and Peyton coming out of Karen's bedroom.

"I—"

"You were with Lucas weren't you?" Haley guessed. She had gotten up to tell Peyton's dad goodbye and then after that she went back to sleep in her room, she didn't even know Peyton had been back.

"How'd you know?"

"Just a lucky guess. Your dad left you a note, you know."

Peyton nodded, "I know he told me outside."

"Okay, but just so you know I'm not going to ask what happened with you and Lucas… unless you want to tell me?" A smile played on Haley's lips as she watched her best friend squirm.

"We didn't do anything. I just slept over there since I didn't want to come home… that's all."

"Oh. So did your dad mention when he was coming back?"

"He said he'll try to come home once a month—but that means twice every six months." She loved her dad, but she knew time management was never one of his strong points.

"That seems like a while… hey, so what was that message you left me about? I tried calling you back, but your phone was off." Haley asked wondering why Peyton had left her that strange message. She was worried about her.

"The reason why I didn't come home yesterday was because my dad told me that Elizabeth is really my mother." There was no use lying to Haley, she knew she would understand. That was the thing about their friendship, they were never afraid to talk about the real stuff.

"Peyton—"

"Please don't ask me if I'm okay or say that you're sorry," Peyton pleaded almost sadly, "I told Brooke an hour ago on the phone and she couldn't stop apologizing."

"I wasn't going to ask or say that."

"Oh."

"I was going to ask you if Lucas knew. I wasn't going to apologize or ask you how you were doing because I know you probably feel like shit." They shared a brief laugh.

"You're right. Yesterday I did feel like shit, but I had time to think about it and I realized that I couldn't stay mad at him. Talking to Lucas made me see that." Peyton watched as a smirk appeared on Haley's face. This couldn't be good.

"Since we're on the topic of Lucas again, he told me what happened between you two last week." Haley nudged Peyton playfully.

"Hales!" They laughed.

"What? I'm not teasing you… yet," Haley, laughed, "I'm just letting you know that I'm aware of what happened."

"We just kissed and that's all."

"And you didn't feel anything?" Haley became serious. She knew how Peyton felt about Lucas, but she was still confused about why she just ran away like that.

"Of course I did. You know we were just walking and then we were talking about how we're seniors and we should be doing crazy things, so he asked me to dance—"

"Luke?" She asked she had never seen Luke dance. Well she did once when they were little, but she didn't remember much of him, she just remembered laughing… a lot.

"Yes Luke and then he told me—he told me that he was in love with me. I was so happy, Haley… I really was and then he kissed me. That kiss—it just made everything so much clearer—"

"So then why did you runaway like that?"

"I was scared Hales. I just freaked out you know?"

Haley nodded, "Well you can always just go to Lucas right now and tell him how you feel."

"I can't. I already messed things up, you know I practically cornered him into saying that we were just friends at the café. God Hales, when did I become such a horrible person?" She asked suddenly aware of her horrible decisions lately.

"The same time everything got so complicated." Haley had often wondered about that, too. When did she, herself become such a horrible person? The day she left Nathan to go on tour, that was it.

"Right."

"Oh c'mon Peyton. You're not a horrible person—you're my best friend. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have overcome my fear of singing in public—I wouldn't have experienced probably one of the most exciting things of my life—going on tour. You've helped me in more ways than one, P Boogie. That's what friends do. They help each other and if you ever need someone to talk to, you know I'm here."

Peyton smiled at her, "Thank you Hales. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Well, you'd be living in this huge house all alone that's for starters and…" Peyton laughed a little and rolled her eyes as Haley went on and on, this was going to be a long day.

Haley was covering the late shift at the café and Peyton was all alone in her big house. She couldn't help but feel angst filled right now. She had been contemplating on calling Elizabeth for the whole week now. It was Saturday night, a week since her father left, and she still hadn't made a decision. She got a call from her father during the week; he spent most of it apologizing and she spent most of the call lying telling him that she was okay. The truth was she wasn't okay… she wasn't sure if she would ever be okay. It was because of one mistake that he had made that caused her life to be thrown upside down. She felt like she was paying for his mistakes, but she knew this wasn't completely his fault. He sent her an email yesterday, but she didn't have the heart to respond back, not just yet. As much as she didn't want to admit it she needed to hear Elizabeth's side of the story.

Without much thought she picked up her phone and began to dial a number, "Hey. Can you meet me at the River Court? Okay. I'll be there in ten."

Stepping out of her car she walked rather slowly to Lucas' front porch. She hoped that he was there; she really needed him right now. Finally walking up the steps, she walked towards the door and knocked softly. After a few minutes the door finally swung open.

"Hey."

"You doing anything right now?"

He shook his head, "No. Why what are you gonna do?"

"Well I thought about what you said last week and you were right."

"I'm right about what?" He asked as she sat in the driver's seat.

"I'm going to the River Court to talk to Elizabeth." She answered simply and watched as a shocked look appeared on his face.

"Peyton—"

"Now are you coming or what?" She asked before he had a chance to properly respond.

"Sure." He opened the car door and sat in the passenger seat. This was going to be one hell of a night.

When the tears come streaming
Down your face, when you lose
Something you can't replace
When you love someone
But it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

"Can you believe her?" Peyton practically yelled at Lucas as she paced up and down on a space on the sidewalk.

Lucas who was leaning on the side of her car just shook his head. Peyton had been silent during the whole car ride back from the River Court, but as soon as they reached his house she started venting.

"How could she say those things? I can't believe a word that she says." Peyton couldn't believe the things Elizabeth had told her. She sat on the bench next to her biological mother with an opened mind and left it angry. Elizabeth had told Peyton that she didn't want to give her up and had basically said that she chose her career over her own child, but now things were different she said. She said that she had learned to balance her career and finally be apart of Peyton's life, but that was only if Peyton wanted that, too. Of course Peyton didn't answer right away, she told her that she needed time to think about it. Actually she had already made a decision she didn't want Elizabeth in her life. She didn't want her before why did she want to be in her life now? It was too late for that; Peyton just couldn't shake the feeling that she wasn't good enough. Knowing that her own mother didn't want her had opened a whole new batch of insecurities for Peyton.

"Peyton you've gotta understand that what she said was probably her point of view of things. I'm not saying you have to, but don't you think it would only be fair to give her a chance?" It was when Lucas had started speaking that Peyton finally stopped pacing.

"I—I can't. She didn't want me… was she ashamed of me or something? I just don't get it." Peyton's voice began to crack and her eyes began to water with tears.

"It was probably just too much for her to handle."

"You're probably right, but… I just can't shake this feeling Luke. This feeling of being unwanted."

"I know the feeling." Lucas admitted sadly.

Peyton covered her mouth with her hand as she heard Lucas' words. She had been so wrapped up in her own grief that she had forgotten about Lucas' situation with Dan. How could she be so insensitive?

"Oh Luke, I'm sorry."

"It's fine," He protested, but she gave him a look that showed that she didn't believe him, "Really. I promise."

"I just don't know what to do. I don't know who or what to believe anymore. Why should I give her a chance if she didn't want me in the first place? What if I do let her in, Luke, if I let her get to know me and actually form a bond with her am I turning away from my mom?"

Lucas listened as Peyton began to vent about the situation some more. He had never seen her so confused and so hurt at the same time like this. He wished that he knew the right thing to say to make her feel better, but he didn't.

"It was wrong of her to choose her career over you, but look on the bright side; wonderful people raised you. Your mom and your dad loved you, Peyton. Just because you're getting to know the mother that you never knew you had doesn't mean you still don't love the one that you grew up." Peyton slightly nodded as tears started to run down her face, this whole month had been such a disaster. She didn't know what to do.

"I just… I just want my mom back," Her voice began to crack, "I'm sick of crying and I'm sick being so lost and confused. I just want her back, Luke, so then I wouldn't have to go through this… or atleast not alone."

"Peyt." Lucas finally stopped leaning on the car and went to the spot where she had been standing.

"Hmm?" She looked up at him.

"You're not alone in this." He said simply as she just nodded and fell into his arms.

He held onto her tightly as she did him and placed a kiss on her forehead as he tried his best to console her. All he really wanted now was just for her to know that he would always be there for her.

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you…

Not much to say about this chapter, I just hoped I did the song justice since Fix You is like the ultimate Coldplay song or whatever. Thank you so much for the reviews and there's only two more chapters left. I wonder what will happen. A Message is next.