CHAPTER TWO
AN: Thanks so much for your reviews and thanks to Mackenise Jackson cos her comment was especially nice. Thankyou for acknowledging that my humour writing doesn't suck. I actually laugh a lot, when I have hang out with my friends outside of school I laugh SO much! and I have a very weird sense of humour so it makes sense that I write weird humour.
As to SGCFan4ever 's question. Why I use ' these speech marks instead of " speech marks, well when I first started writing (original stuff) I was reading a book by Sophie Masson and she used ' marks. And I had read books that used " and ' so I just thought it was grammatically correct to use either. but sometimes when I'm writing my stories down in an actual notebook I use " and change it when I type it so that they're all like ' that.
SGFan as you can see that was definitley not it. I don't know how many chapters there will be but I guarantee it wont be more than 10.
Previously…
As quick as a paparazzi on the tail of a camera hating flim star, Jack whipped out his Polaroid, took another snap of Teal'cs expression and dashed for the nearest elevator to escape, leaving Daniel to deal with Teal'c.
Jack pushed the "close door" button and then pressed the level button that would take him to Carter's lab.
Continuation…
Major Sam Carter was busily working in said lab. For once she was not working on the latest complex doohickey that they had brought back, but sat chopping some dark, black, chocolate on a wooden chopping board with the exact precision and attentiveness that she showed her scientific artifacts. Her nose was so close to the dark chocolate that it almost looked like she was eating it.
This time, when Jack O'Neill came to her lab and crept up behind his 2IC and placed his hands hard down on her shoulders with a 'boo!' Sam almost leaped five feet up from her chair with a high-pitched girlish squeal.
Jack stepped back from her, shocked at her reaction; he was fully expecting her to make some sarcastic remark and then ignore him.
Sam turned around, giving him an angry glare; her heart racing, part from the surprise that she got, and part from the nice physical contact it was to feel Jack's hands on her shoulders, if only for a few seconds.
'Colonel O'Neill, please don't do that! Though it rarely works, I don't like it.' She gave him an I'm-angry-with-you looks while she was trying to suppress a giggle.
Jack stared at her for a few seconds and then remembered why he had come. 'Oh, Major', he said in a sing-song voice, pulling the photos out of his pocket. 'Look what I got!'
Sam made a reach for them.
'Uh, ah, ah', he continued, waggling his finger in a manner that was often displayed from parents to children.
'First you tell me what's the deal with the chocolate. Then I'll show you the picture that will make you die with laughter!'
'Well I hope I at least get a goodbye kiss before I die, Sir.'
Jack's mouth dropped open, clearly surprised by his 2IC's extreme flirtatious behaviour.
'I need to give my dad a goodbye kiss before I die, Sir.' She said with a smirk. 'I think you'd better call the Tok'ra. I'll miss him terribly of course, but I believe it will be worth it just so I can see the expression on Teal'cs face when he finds out you've done something to him.'
'Hey I only did what was right given the circumstances', he said defensively.
'And I'm sure Teal'c will do the same, Sir.'
'Yeah, with you helping him' he mumbled as Sam turned back to her work… before snatching the invaluable phot of Teal'c out of her CO's hand.
'Hey! That's insubordination, Captain! I order you to give that back right now.' Suddenly Sam had a really terrified look on her face, and then with a laugh she said 'Ooh, whatcha gonna do, Jack? Court martial me?'
Jack started to give a response of the affirmative.
'Which by the way will mean trouble for you seeing as you have antagonised a respected warrior of the base, who, might I add is way older than you and looks younger than you, and you'd be court martialled yourself… Sir.'
'That hurt, Captain! You're too smart for your own good, you know that, Sam?'
Jack started moving closer to the table and incidentally, to Sam. Two can play at your game, Carter.
'Which is why…' he moved even closer so that their noses were almost touching '…I love…'
Sam held her breath, her face betraying desire as she down at his lips hungrily.
'…Chocolate.'
:snap: There was a flash as Jack took another picture, this time of Sam's disappointed and surprised face.
And this time, Jack gave an evil laugh and stuffed some of the 'chocolate' shavings into his mouth.
With a delighted laugh, Sam snatched the camera out of Jack's hand and took a shot of his surprised face as he realised that it was not chocolate he was eating, but some highly reactive goo stuff that Carter was experimenting on. It wasn't very harmful to humans, but it tasted like… yoghurt gone off mixed with rubber mats drenched in sweat after a gym workout.
Yeah, no wonder Jack was hunched over trying to puke up the bits he had swallowed. In fact, it looked and sounded like he was choking.
Sam's eyes nearly popped out in horror as she realised that she might be responsible for Jack's choking and dying.
With the speed of a soldier needing to save the life of a fellow soldier, which she was, she rushed over to 'her' colonel who had just collapsed on the ground because of lack of breath, and cautiously put her lips on his, gagging slightly as she got a taste of the 'chocolate' in her mouth.
She breathed into his mouth and then pressed on his chest.
Eagerly she put her lips on his again, wondering if the AU Carter married her Jack because of his extremely kissable lips.
She pressed on his chest again, only doing it once instead of the required twice this time so she could get to his lips quicker.
Hang on a sec; these were her Commanding Officer's lips…
Not that it mattered. It was just a thought that appeared in her brain as she went to his lips for a third time so that she could… oh yeah, save his life. She was so wrapped up in the feel of his lips that she didn't hear another :click:
'Captain Carter, what the hell are you doing!' General Hammond shouted in a voice that demanded absolute authority as he saw the Colonel and Captain of his flagship team lip-locked on the floor, the Colonel's eyes closed in what appeared to be a savouring manner.
Captain Carter stood up quickly with an extremely guilty expression on her face. 'I'm giving him lip-to-lip, Sir.' General Hammond raised an eyebrow. You're such dolt, Samantha! I mean mouth-to-mouth. That didn't sound any better. I mean… I'm giving Colonel O'Neill CPR, sir!
Expecting the General of the base to blow up in her face, she didn't know wether to be relieved or really really freaked out that he burst into laughter.
It surprised her even more when he produced a Polaroid of his own out of his pocket and took another photo, another photo of her stuck to Jack's face clearly seen in his hand. General Hammond disappeared.
Her face had shown shock many times that day, but even the most far out alien would be able to see that this little Captain was shocked beyond speech.
'This means war!'
Jack said as he sat up, clutching his stomach like a poor wounded soldier.
'Colonel Jonathan O'Neill, I though you had stopped breathing!'
'Yeah, enjoy your little kissy fest, Carter?'
Before she could protest against such an insolent remark, Jack took hold of her hand so he could drag her off to Daniel's lair, uh, lab.
END OF CHAPTER TWO