He woke up first.
Early, too. The small bed had not been very comfortable, but I immediately missed his body next to mine.
I didn't open my eyes until I heard him come out of the fresher. It was still raining outside, and the sky was still very dark.
"What time is it?" I mumbled.
"0600"
"Ugh. I never realized you were a morning person."
"You'd learn a lot if you slept with me more often."
My eyebrows shot up and I heard him swear in his head. He hadn't meant to say that aloud. Maybe he was still asleep. I favored him with a glance and he smiled back sheepishly as I slipped into the fresher and shut the door.
I stared into the mirror and blinked his form out of my head.
Well, tried to anyway.
Kyp Durron was a lot more attractive than I was willing to admit this morning. But sleeping right next to his chest all night long had definitely forced me to re-evaluate my opinion of his build. I'm not gonna lie, the man has a nice body-- if you can get him out of his beloved cape.
Plus, he's such a—wild mess of a man. Sure, it was nice, if unusual, to see him acting so sweet and compassionate, but the fact that he could also be so arrogant and inappropriate made him even more attractive to me.
My heart started to race as I turned on the water in the sink. For a moment, my thoughts flashed to Jag, and I hoped he was okay. But my desire to brood about him was superseded by my desire to finish up in the fresher and return to the man in the bedroom.
I dismissed a slight feeling of guilt in my gut, washed my face and swished some of Kyp's toothpaste around in my mouth- just in case.
Just in case of what?
I shook my head and blinked a couple of times. I needed to be careful this morning. Maybe I should just go back to sleep for a while-- alone.
I walked out of the fresher and collapsed on the bed again with a moan. Kyp was stretching his left shoulder out on the wall. He smiled at my crumpled form.
"Still tired?"
I mumbled an affirmative.
"Well, that makes two of us."
I propped myself up on my elbow. "Then why in the worlds are we awake at this hour?"
Kyp studied me for a second and then dropped my gaze. "Couldn't sleep. I think your head knocked my shoulder outta joint." He concluded.
"Oh shut up," I grinned. "Don't be such a baby."
There was something different about him this morning. He was—quiet. Solemn. He felt far away.
Maybe it was the weather. Thunder rumbled again overhead as I brushed his presence in the Force. I was surprised to find a barrier between us. I narrowed my gaze at him and felt him avoiding eye contact. My stomach churned and my guilt flared for a reason I couldn't accept or understand. We hadn't done anything wrong!
But something behind his eyes told me we were on the verge of a serious conversation on a very familiar subject.
"What's going on, Kyp?" I finally asked.
He took a moment to consider his answer.
"A very appropriate question. One I wish I knew the answer to."
Oh yeah, here it comes. Kyp & Jaina DTR Talk #407.
I sighed deeply and sat up on the bed. "Are we really about to do this again?"
"We don't have to do anything, Jaina. I was just trying to answer a question that you posed."
"Well, I guess I don't even have to ask if last night weirded you out?"
He paused for a long moment and when he finally met my eyes, I was surprised to find sadness in his gaze.
"It didn't, actually," he answered slowly. "And I'm pretty sure that's the problem."
My blood iced over momentarily. I didn't know what to say. I was quiet for a moment while I decided how deep into this I wanted to go. I had evaded the subject a number of times before (obviously, to no avail), and was really in no hurry to break tradition. Jagged and I-- had a nice thing going. He was smart and noble and good for me… and the very idea of Kyp and I as anything but—associates-- was neither simple nor socially acceptable.
Then again, Kyp and I weren't simple, socially acceptable type people.
I sighed deeply. This is going to suck.
"Kyp," I began slowly. "I think you know how much it took for me to even come over here last night. I really didn't mean to put you in an awkward position. I never expected--"
"I know, Jaina."
I fell silent, because he did know. He knew everything—and by everything, I mean everything about me... including the way I felt about him and everything that kept me from acting on it.
A long moment passed between us. He rotated his shoulder a couple more times and winced. "Stangit, I knew this was going to hurt today."
It took me a moment to realize that he wasn't talking about his shoulder at all.
You know, I've always been good at fixing things. Tangible things, at least. But this situation had left me locked up alone with a totaled ship and absolutely no tools at my disposal. I was completely lost when it came to this relationship. And attempting this repair, I knew I was sure to get hurt.
Nevertheless, I stood to my feet and started in, trying to smooth out the jagged edges.
"Listen… I don't plan on telling Jag about last night. He doesn't really understand this kind of thing any--"
Interrupting, Kyp snorted and gave me an incredulous look.
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
Growl! How dare he act like it was my fault that this madness had resurfaced, when he was just as much to blame!"Well, Force, Kyp!" I shouted. "What in the worlds do you want from me!"
His green eyes flashed and I could feel the agony of his stifled desire as his eyes briefly connected with mine.
"Everything I can't have." He muttered.
I blinked.
Did he really just say that?
….
Yes.
Yes, he did.
"Listen, Jaina." He continued, carefully. "The problem with last night is not that it was awkward—it's that it wasn't. It wasn't at all. It was completely natural—just like every other semi-romantic encounter we've had. Believe me, I wish it had been awkward! Then we could just say that you-- had a bad night and I was just offering comfort, like any good friend would do. Then we'd swear not to tell your boyfriend, and we'd both go about our business, not having to worry about burgeoning feelings or-- or about what the other person is thinking. Please, give me awkward, Goddess! I can deal with awkward--"
He was near me now, and his sensuality was mind-numbing. I could feel his heart beating and he hadn't even touched me. I felt my body temperature rise with every step he took toward me. His fingers finally grazed my cheek and I fought the instinct to nuzzle against his rough fingertips. My whole body tingled furiously and I forced my heartbeat to slow down as only inches from my face, his fiery gaze met mine.
"But this?" he whispered. "This is vapin' killing me, Goddess."
….
My first instinct?
Run…
…or push him down on the floor and climb on top of him.
But the run instinct took top priority and I felt my adrenaline level swell to make a break for it. Everything inside of me told me that staying here meant not only making a decision and facing everything I was terrified of, but it also probably meant I was going to do something brash and emotional and incredibly Jaina-like that I'd have to apologize to Jag for later.
It didn't help the situation that for the third or fourth time in twelve hours, Kyp was staring at me in a way that was making me want to marry him and have his children. Immediately. And that was especially freaky since I've never even seriously thought about having children with Jag, or anyone else.
His fingers brushed my hair behind my ear, and he finally dropped my gaze and started to pull away from me, at which point, I completely lost control of my vocal chords.
"Don't…" I started.
"What are you doing!" my head screamed.
I've never felt like such a ridiculous little girl in my whole life, but for the second time in his presence today, I felt hot tears brimming in my eyes. I bit my lip, but he still heard every word I didn't have the guts to say aloud.
"Don't you let me say no to you again, Kyp. Don't you dare let me walk away..."
Albeit blurry, I could see the shock on his face. I couldn't speak anymore, telepathically or verbally—but I figured I didn't need to.
I'm not totally sure what happened after that…
Just that there were two people, two pairs of lips and a considerable amount of heat involved.
-Kyp Durron-
She broke me.
She won.
I kissed her.
And oh, how I kissed her.