Guest List
Jessica sat at the kitchen table. It was late, after midnight. Her eyes were tired, but she forced herself on. Lisa came in.
"Hey Lis'," Jessica said, looking up just a moment.
"Everyone RSVP already?"
"Well...yeah. Mostly."
Bart staggered in, eyes bleary.
"What's the matter with you girls? Its one a.m.!"
"Oh, I was just checking the guest list again."
Lisa leaned in to check.
Homer and Marge Simpson: Yes
Lisa Simpson: Yes
Maggie and Eric Simpson: Yes
Grandpa Simpson: "Sure thing. Ah, I remember when I got married. It was back in the forties, and the Russkies hadn't conquered us yet. I remember Dwight David Eisenhower came, and he gave the eulogy. Then we buried old Sparky underneath the old oak tree, and went home for cake and ice cream. It was the best Christmas I ever had. And another thing...ZZZZzzzzz."
Grandma Jacqueline Bouvier: Yes
Artie Ziff and Selma Bouvier-Ziff: Yes
Patty Bouvier: Yes
Millhouse Van Houten: Yes
Jasper: Huh? What about the bedding?
Crazy Old Jewish Man: "Huh? What? What are you talking about? You trying to sell me something?"
Rev. Jim Lovejoy: No reply.
Helen Lovejoy: No reply, presumed dead
Brian Aquinas Callahan: Yes
Gavin "Mac" Macintosh: Yes
Steve Cho: Yes
Michael Burke and guest: Yes
William 'Will' Dejong: Unable to attend (death in the family)
Mr & Mrs DeGeorge: Grudgingly yes
Felicia DeGeorge: Yes
Nelson Muntz, Sherri Muntz, Terri Muntz, and children: Yes
Jimbo Jones: Yes
Kearny (No Last Name Listed): Yes
Dolph: Unable to attend, sends best wishes
Oliver: Yes
Martin Prince: Yes
John and Enid Frink: "We'll be there, by glavin."
Maximillian Frink: Unable to attend
Wendel: Unable to attend; hospitalised for gastrointestinal surgery
Otto: Yes, but will not be responsible for loss of cleaning deposit
Seymour Skinner and Edna Krabbappel-Skinner: Yes
William "Groundskeeper Willie" McGovern and Jessica McGovern: Aye
Seamus Patrick Fitzpatrick: Yes (note: restraining order requires thirty feet between him and Willie at all times)
Herschel Smoikel Krustofski: Yes
Mel and Barbara: Yes
Robert Underdunk Terwilliger: Unable to attend (whereabouts unknown)
Father Patrick Molloy: Yes
Father Sean Maloney: Yes
Ruth Powers, Laura Powers: Unable to attend (incarcerated), Yes.
Akira Serizawa and family: Yes
Apu and Manjula Nahasapimapetilon, and children: Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes
Sanjay and Isha Nahasapimapetilon and daughter: Unable to attend
Comic Book Guy: "Yes, I plan on being present."
Disco Stu: "Disco Stu will be there!"
Fat Tony…and associates: Yes
Clancy Wiggum, Nancy Wiggum, and Ralph Wiggum: Yes
Moe Syzlak: Yes
Barney Gumble: Unable to attend, in detox
Lenny and Carl: Yes
Charlie (from power plant): Unable to attend, still stranded in Middle East
Vincent Furnier (a.k.a. Alice Cooper): Yes
Danny Elfman: Yes
Billy Idol: "Sorry, got a gig. Good luck an' all tha'."
Alfred 'Weird Al' Yankovic: "YES!"
"Quite a list."
"Well, its not much. Just family and friends."
"Most of them said they're coming."
"Yeah, well, that's good. I'd really miss any one of them."
"Bart, I'm so happy for you."
"Yeah, I'm happy for me too."
"Well, just four more days."
"Aye carumba."
Lisa smiled.
"Bet you wish you had a catchphrase. Hah, Ha hah-ha!"
"Hrmmmm…."
"That's mom's!"
"Ha-Ha!"
"Get back to your common law wives!" she shouted at Nelson, who was leaning in through the open window..
"Heh…got me there."