Okay, maybe I do remember what happened… sort of.
I lost my mind that day.
I don't think I'll ever understand how he seduced me so quickly. But in about ten seconds, Kyp made me want to throw everything I had as a woman at him, simply because I knew that he knew what to do with it. He knew exactly how to handle me, and I wanted him to do just that.
Adrenaline, desire, disbelief, ecstasy and self-control fought a full-scale war in my head. Kyp's body was solid and rugged, and his shirt was much too thin to leave anything to the imagination. Before long, the concern at the forefront of my mind was how I could possibly get it off of him without having to let go of his lips.
I should have felt awful.
I should have felt like a ho and a liar for betraying Jagged—but honestly, how much more awful had I been to Kyp, dismissing him all these years? The moment was much too easy to rationalize. What I did was cruel— but something told me that Jagged would be far from surprised to hear about this.
For all his stoicism, Jagged was actually a very good cuddler and a rather brilliant kisser, but Kyp—
Kyp was like the embodiment of excitement and passion and rebellious idealism; of madness and genius and boldness and unpredictability. He was dark and rough and sexy, and kissing him felt dangerous and exhilarating, like flying through a load of flack into the heat of battle. He was caf and alcohol and glitterstim and every other lethal and addictive substance in the galaxy.
And he was positively irresistible.
But there was something more than just raging hormones and years of sexual tension behind that burst of passion. I don't know whether to attribute it to our war bond or to the Force or what—but Kyp and I connected in that moment in a way I've never connected with anyone else. When the initial burst of adrenaline faded, and we settled into a rhythm of sorts, I realized that pieces of me which had been floating around for years, had suddenly locked into their rightful places and sighed contently. This man made me feel safe and protected and—vital to his happiness. Not just wanted, but needed. Being with him suddenly made so much sense to me.
I knew I should have broken up with Jag before figuring this out, but I really think it took getting to that point to comprehend how wrong I was for him. Part of me thought that Jag had already figured it out, and was just waiting for me to catch on and let him go. Guilt invaded my heart sharply for a moment. But at the same time, a voice in the center of my soul chanted in a throbbing whisper, "It's about time you realized this is where you belong."
So I finally just gave in.
Sure it was the easy way out, and I rarely tread that path-- but there was no turning back at this point, and I was enjoying this man far too much to let go of him.
His fingers tickled my waist and stomach and lower back, and I knew I was going to have mad rug burn on my face from his upper lip, but I didn't particularly care.
That kiss would have put a summer afternoon on Tattooine to shame, but there was something sweet about it too. I let my mind connect to his and was extremely pleased to find that he was having to work so hard to control his desire for me.
However, I was so used to antagonizing him that I couldn't help myself. I slid my hands down to his hips, grabbed the edges of his thin tunic and pulled it off.
I know! I know… I shouldn't have done that.
But I didn't really think about it before I did it, I just thought it would be fun.
It certainly achieved the desired effect.
And shortly after that, I felt the back of my knees against the bed, and Kyp urging me in the direction of the tousled sheets. This bed was not ready for us; I could just see us breaking the thing in half and having to explain ourselves. Nevertheless, I eased down onto the small mattress and pulled Kyp down beside me. As his entire body met mine, I suddenly realized the magnitude of what I had instigated and got nervous for the first time, wondering anxiously whether he knew I was a virgin.
He probably did. Even if he hadn't five minutes ago, as strongly as I'd just been thinking about it, he'd probably realized it by now.
I was suddenly very embarrassed.
-Kyp Durron-I was trying to remember how to breathe when she dropped the v-bomb on me...