WHOA! This is still a fanfic. I don't own any of them. Except Cosette, Robin, and those people. But the others are JK Rowling's babies… BABIES! …I'm not changing any diapers.

The next day- Malfoy, Robin, and Cosette snuck into the Gryffindor common room, having stolen out of History of Magic (once again some writing fanfic rubbish about advanced intelligence), claiming to be suffering extreme corns on their feet, from a spell they didn't want to talk about.

Professor Binns felt it in his best interest not to ask. He had a lunch that he had eaten many years ago, that he would prefer not to send up through his ghostly organs.

Hey.

Ghost's throw up too. Shut up.

Anyways, so they were flitting amongst the garbage-y, nasty, family-oriented, and wholesome din that was the Gryffindor tower.

Cosette was jumping on a tattered couch, laughing hysterically, blissfully unaware of her companions' stares.

"MWAHAHAHHA :Snort: BWEHEHEHEHEHEHE WHOOOOA" She squeaqled, flopping onto her butt and rolling onto the floor, proceeding to roll all over the place like a hotdog gone mad, up-ending random objects.

These objects included: Two tables, a pile of spell books, a cat, a chair and-

"Hey." Malfoy interrupted her rolling, looking supremely perplexed. "What in the bloody hell is a squeagle?"

Robin picked Cosette up, standing her on her feet, and answered in an almost… too prompt fashion. "A squeagle is the sound Cosette makes when she has a bit too much wizarding hubbub floating around in her cerebral…thingy."

Malfoy, pretending he hadn't heard that answer, turned around and started snooping in a most dodgy like manner to find something to irritate the Gryffindors into a state of advanced irritation.

"Duh-Ray-Cow!" Cosette screamed at the top of her lungs, jumping on him. "What, what, what what whatwhatwhatwhatawwhasdhasdaahwhahhhaahahthhttthhh!"

"SNAP OUT OF IT!" He screamed back, matching her tit for tat.

"Oh."

"Well?"

"What are we going to do if we get caught? ARE THEY GOING TO THROW US IN THE BIGHOU-" She meandered off before finishing her thought, approaching the fireplace with an apparently purposeful air.

"AH-HA! I have discovered…" She began suspensfully….

Robin straightened from her examination of a particularly interesting drawing of Professor Trelawney, and hurried over hurriedly. "What's going on! Hurry! I must know."

Draco sighed with intensely sensual annoyance. Cosette and Robin oohed and aahed. If Draco could be making a face right now for you to see it would be --;;.

"ANYWAYS!" Robin said in a commanding tone. "I demand to be told what you have discovered."

Cosette, in a most conspiratorial manner, lifted up a battered piece of parchment, covered in little moving dots. "A MAP OF HOGWARTS WRITTEN BY HARRY POTTER'S FATHER, WHICH GAVE THE WEASLEY TWINS THEIR AMAZING SUCCESS AS LAWBREAKERS AND ONCE INSULTED SNAPE! I SHALL DESTROY IT!" She started to toss it into the fire, but Robin caught her arm.

"… You know, I'm not even going to ask about the exactness of your discovery, but don't throw that map away. We could use it." She said, fighting the urge to bellow.

She had that urge sometimes. To just go "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" at everyone surrounding her.

But she rarely allowed those urges to control her. And when she did- it was usually directed at a small boy named Ervin of Hufflepuff. He cried every time, the little wiener.

Robin laughed. "Weiner."

Cosette shook the battered-torn-grungy-other descriptive words- map angrily. "But it INSULTED MY LOVELY EL SNAH-PEY!"

Draco snatched the map from her hands. "SILENCE!"

And there was silence.

For several minutes.

Until everyone got bored.

"Well. Onwards and upwards, like Aunt Carmikle used to say." Draco said, strolling out of the common room, the map in his hands.

He was pretty sure it would annoy Harry at least, to have his relic stolen from him.

"You have an aunt Carmikle? What a world." Robin said.

"You do too?" Cosette peebled incredulously.

"No."

"Stop making up verbs!" Draco said threateningly, waving around his new wand. It was short and squat. Like a stunted cactus without spikes, but with the colorful little aloe producing flower on the very tip. (It was his secret for his beautiful skin.)

"Sorry." Cosette said meekly, scurrying throughout the door in a thoroughly conventionally worded manner.