A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! Sorry for updating again! I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS AT THE END! SO READ THEM! MWHAHAHAHA! (lol)
I would feel bad if I didn't explain this chapter to you!
This chapter may be confusing at times, so you might have too re-read some parts!
WARNING WARNING WARING: MAJOR DRAMA AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER!
If I Could Change Our Fate
Summary: AU: During ROTS. Padme has visions of the future and her and Anakin's fate. She decides to change it, if she can. Book 1 of 2: What If?
Chapter 3: The Start of the Dark Side
(Padme's POV)
I sighed deeply as I entered my apartment again. I had called in sick to work and had just returned from the Jedi Temple. I could feel my life breaking, it felt horrible. I threw off my cloak and sat down on the couch, my hand resting on my stomach. I was about three months pregnant.
"I'm going to love you guys." I said, sort of out of this world. I couldn't wait to see my children… But then again, I wouldn't be able too if I didn't stop the vision. I wouldn't be able to do anything with them.
I wouldn't be able to hold them, to love them, to be with them, to care for them, to comfort them, to help them, to- I couldn't do this. I couldn't think about this. No, it was wrong for me to think about this, because I knew I was going to stop it. I had too.
I was waiting for Anakin to get home, so he could comfort me once again. I was broken without him. He was more important to me then my life. I had to save him, even if it meant not saving myself.
But I would have to be strong. I was a strong senator so how could all of a sudden, I lost the will to live? That sounded stupid.
I yawned and stretched across the couch. Maybe a little sleep would make the vision more clear…
Dream Scene:
"Don't do this, please Anakin! Come back to me!"
"But I can save you!"
"I'm not going to die!" I screamed as tears streamed down my face. What was happening? Was this the future still?
"I saw you Padme! I won't lose you like I did my mother!"
"We live in a real world Anakin, come back to it! You can't just save people from dying! You can't expect turning to the dark side will save me? If you do, you're wrong! Even if I didn't die during child birth, I would still be destroyed inside from your lies… STOP LYING!"
"I'm not lying to you!"
"You're lying to yourself!"
"I will save you Padme, even if you can't see it now." Anakin pushed me to the side. My body flung across and hit roughly against the wall. He meant to shut the mouth that only told him lies.
My head numbly went to the side as if I was dead… Or dying… What? How could this still be happening? As if on cue, my head went straight and my eyes snapped open.
"Please Anakin… Don't do this." My voice was strained and weak. I got up slowly and blocked his path into the Jedi Temple. The rain came down and showered the young couple with pain.
"I am no longer Anakin, I am Darth Vader."
"No! Anakin-"
"Darth Vader!" Vader corrected and pushed me out of the way. I ran back.
"Don't make me hurt you." Vader threatened and I shook my head, tears running freely down my face.
"Do it Vader, kill me for all I care… Killing me would show me that you are truly lost."
"I will do what I must."
"So this is how you are going to save me? By killing me?"
"I will not kill you Padme."
"Then what are you going to do Vader?" I spat out bitterly.
"Get out of my way!" Vader used the force to throw my future self's body against the wall, I guess I was awake enough to rip off the jappor necklace Anakin had given me right before I hit the wall…
My future self's body slumped to the side, and my hand that had clutched the necklace tightly unclenched and let the necklace slip through my fingers. I could feel my thoughts, He is truly lost…
The Jappor necklace slid slowly down the path to the exit of the Jedi Temple. I looked at my future self and then back at the necklace. I ran towards it hoping to find it because it was the only thing that would ever remind me of Ani again, but it had already washed away in the rain.
End of Dream Scene
I woke up in a cold sweat again. No, no, NO! I won't believe you!
This was my future still, I hadn't altered it one bit. I felt so disappointed in me. I was giving up on myself. I ran my fingers towards my chest, gently fingering the necklace.
How could I do this? Why should I do this? I let my fingers trace the outline of the jappor necklace, hoping and wishing that I could bring back some memories of the happy times with Anakin.
The door silently opened, revealing Anakin. He watched me, not saying a word. I didn't notice him until Threepio's voice filled the room.
"Master Ani! You're home!" My head snapped up straight and my eyes focused on Anakin. I slowly got up and ran to him; I wanted to tell him everything. I couldn't hid it from him anymore.
I heard Threepio leaving us quietly.
"What's wrong?" Anakin demanded after he was sure that Threepio had finally left.
"Nothing's wrong." I muttered into his chest, should I tell him? "But I feel there is something wrong with you, what happened?"
"Nothing."
"Don't do this, don't shut me out Anakin! I can help you!"
"The Jedi don't trust me." I sighed in relief and looked up at my husband.
"They trust you with their lives."
"I don't really want to talk about it."
"Hold me Ani, like you did on Naboo… When all there was was our love." He understood and just stood there, comforting me, for what seemed like forever. But we didn't have forever…
The next day…
I felt him leave, I heard his footsteps get up and walk through our bedroom door. My eyes opened suddenly and I got up just as fast.
My hollow footsteps echoed off the empty hallways. He sensed me coming; he turned around, sadness written all over his face.
"Where are you going?" I confronted him.
"Palpatine has summoned me."
"How long will you be gone?" I questioned and Anakin shrugged.
"It won't be long Padme, I promise."
"Don't do anything stupid Ani."
"I wouldn't dare." He gently kissed me before turning away and leaving.
Once I heard the door close, I sighed deeply and fell back into the couch. I had to think about my vision last night. It was horrible, something I couldn't explain. What should I do now? I could think about how horrible my life is, I could go to the Jedi Temple and see what Anakin is up too- No then he would think I don't trust him.
Life gives you no time to dwell on things anymore. When I was caught up in the moment, Obi-Wan called. I knew something was wrong.
"Obi-Wan?"
"Padme, something's happened." Thoughts were rushing through my head, what happened?
"What happened Obi-Wan?"
"It's Anakin."
"What happened Obi-Wan?" I demanded again and Obi-Wan hesitated.
"Him and Palpatine had a talk, and now Anakin thinks he's going to become a Master."
"That's great!"
"No it isn't Padme."
"It's not?" I questioned, not really knowing why Obi-Wan wasn't happy about this. I bit my lip, hoping-
"We can't give him the position of Master."
"But why not Obi-Wan?"
"He is too young."
"He deserves it!" I felt my anger pour out of me.
"It would be too difficult!"
"He is your best friend! How can you destroy him like that?"
"I told you Padme, he's too young to be a Master!"
"I can't believe you!" I screamed and ran my fingers nervously through my hair.
"What can't you believe Padme? We can't just suddenly give him the position of Master! That would be-"
"It's his dream to be a Master! Please Obi-Wan, make him a Master."
"I can't… It would be against everything we live by."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm just trying to make you understand that-"
"That you can destroy anybody's dreams? You are risking your friendship by not putting him on the Council!"
"It's not all my fault!"
"But you still have a say in it!" All that followed was silence. We both looked down at the floor saying nothing. Finally I decided to speak up.
"Please Obi-Wan it would destroy him, he will turn to the dark side sooner. I'm not ready for that."
"But I can't…"
"Yes you can… Talk to the Council, please. Tell them about my vision."
"I think it best that you do."
"Me? I can't just tell them that me and Anakin are married and that I'm pregnant. They will kick him off the Jedi Order."
"But Padme, you have too."
"I couldn't."
"You are our only hope Padme."
"I can't Obi-Wan! It would destroy me and Anakin. It would destroy our marriage, our love, our happiness."
"Please Padme, you can convince them that giving Anakin the job as a Master would be a good thing. You have a reason for this and I do not."
I gave in, what else was there to lose? Maybe I could really try and save Anakin and myself.
"I will… Try."
JEDI TEMPLE- COUNCIL MEETING ROOM
I stood in front of the Council praying that after this was over, me explaining everything to them, they would not kick Anakin off of the Jedi Order.
"Come to speak with us, you have, Senator Amidala."
"Yes Master Yoda."
"A surprise, this is."
"I know this is so out of the blue, but it's very important." My eyes went from Master Yoda to Obi-Wan. He knew what I was talking about.
"What is it you have to speak with us about?" Master Windu questioned and I sighed deeply.
"A couple of nights ago, I had a vision of the future…" I stopped to look at the people before me, before going on. "It scares me. I talked to Master Kenobi about it and he told me to talk to you about this."
There was no turning back now…
I told them everything that I told Obi-Wan. Me dying, Anakin turning to the dark side, Palpatine being the Sith lord, and all the suffering. I stood there after all that, nobody spoke.
"What do you think?" My voice sounded raspy and broken. I couldn't even believe it was my own voice.
Nobody spoke.
"Scary for you, this must be." I nodded.
"Surprising for us, it is not."
"What!"
"We have known for a long time that you and Anakin have had something. We were just waiting for you to tell us, Senator." Master Windu explained.
"So you're telling me, you're not surprised that Anakin's going to turn to the dark side or that I'm going to die in child birth?"
"We are not surprised." Master Windu repeated Yoda's words. I couldn't believe they weren't surprised. But I couldn't think about that now.
"Are you going to kick Anakin off the Jedi Order?"
"As much as we might want, kick Anakin off the Order, we cannot." Master Yoda spoke up and I looked towards Obi-Wan. He mouthed something, but I didn't catch it.
"You have to make him a Master, Master Yoda."
"Make him a Master, we cannot."
"But it would destroy! He will turn to the dark side faster if you don't! Please do it for me! I don't want to end up dying!"
There was an awkward silence.
"Make him a Master, we will." I smiled gratefully, that would keep Anakin occupied for a while.
"So what shall we do?" I questioned eagerly and looked from Master Windu, to Master Yoda, back to Obi-Wan.
"Talk with him, you have?" My thoughts dropped suddenly as he said that.
"Not yet."
"Then you must talk with him now." Master Windu commanded and I shook my head sadly.
"How can I tell him that I'm going to die because of him and that he's going to be the most powerful Sith lord in the galaxy?"
"Problem, that is." I nodded again, thinking that Master Yoda was going to say more, but he didn't.
"Now what do I do?" I asked and my eyes pleaded to the Jedi Masters for an answer. I couldn't let this happen.
But still nobody said anything. I sighed deeply and stared behind the Jedi Masters, I looked at the traffic wishing my life was different. That somehow me and Anakin could have lived a happy life on Naboo.
"It is best that you tell him." Master Windu suggested and I fought back the tears that were threatening to come.
"I told you I can't!"
"It would be worse if we told him though." Obi-Wan stepped in and glared at him. Everything was going wrong.
I knew that the Jedi Council was right, but I couldn't tell him. I just couldn't. How would you tell your husband that? I refuse to tell him! It would destroy everything.
"I'm not going to tell him. I'm just going to see how things go and try to prevent everything."
"Senator, you can't prevent everything on your own."
"I have you guys and I have hope that I can." With that, I exited the room.
As I closed the door behind me, I didn't leave just that second. I quickly turned around to face the door and leaned against it to hear what they were saying.
"Brave Senator, she is."
"But Master Yoda, you do not really think she can save somebody from the dark side by herself." It was Master Windu.
There was silence.
"Think she can save him from the dark side, I do."
"But it's never been done before! Every Jedi in the history has been trying to save other Jedi's from the dark side before and it's never worked."
"But no Jedi have ever been in love. They have never known what it feels like love somebody so much. Maybe her love can save him." It was Obi-Wan. I smiled grateful for having Obi-Wan's help.
I can save him, our love can save us, and everything would be fine. I kept repeating that in my head, over and over again.
"He has violated the Jedi Code; we should just kick him off."
"Master Windu, kick Anakin off the Order, we cannot. Turn to the dark side sooner, he will."
"Master Yoda is right Master Windu, we can't let that happened. You heard what Senator Amidala said." It was Obi-Wan again, I felt somewhat happy for having Yoda and Obi-Wan on my side.
"Fine we will make him a Master, but I do hope you know what we're doing."
"I hope we do too." Obi-Wan finished the conversation.
I felt somebody tap me on the shoulder. I turned around sharply and found myself starring into Anakin's eyes. There was anger. Hatred, some things I had never thought I would be seeing in Anakin's eyes.
"What are you doing here Padme? And outside the Council door?"
"Anakin, I can explain!"
"You told them didn't you?"
"Anakin-"
"I knew it!"
"Please Anakin; I was only trying to help-"
"How is this going to help? They are going to kick me off the Order for sure."
"No Anakin-"
"How could you do this Padme?"
"I love you!" I screamed helplessly and that second, I knew that I was the one turning him to the dark side. I was causing him all the suffering.
I was making him mad at everything, he couldn't depend on anything or anyone anymore, he could only trust Darth Sidious. He was the only one that wouldn't turn on him.
He felt betrayed and lost. I could feel it. This had happened twice in a row. I had gotten him in trouble. It was my fault… MY ENTIRE FAULT!
The visions, they weren't going to stop, they were going to keep going because of what I've done.
I should have known that I couldn't change our fate. I shouldn't have messed around with this. I should have just let my future take me wherever it wanted too. I was stupid to think that I could change it.
That vision yesterday meant nothing. It meant that my future and Anakin's future were the same, I couldn't stop him and right now I couldn't stop it.
I let it go, I let everything go. If I lived to see tomorrow, I would stop trying to change our fate.
"LIAR!"
I saw his hand come up and strike me; I felt a pain run through my cheek, and it was then that my whole life crumbled in front of me.
End of Chapter 3
A/N: I know you guys hate me because of what I made happen, but don't worry, Padme is not going to give up that easily! PLEASE REVIEW! I promise you guys that something good will happen in the next few chapter... There are only going to be about eight chapters... ok?