Here you go! Chapter two of the half-decent (meaning it still sucks) fanfic! I couldn't resist putting in a little humor...Enjoy!...getting your eyes burnt out.

Chapter 2: Kalay and Vault

"...Hama, is it truly necessary for them to come on this trip?" Hammet asked.

"No. It is not necessary. But it would cause him to lose a great oppurtunity."

"What kind of opportunity?"

"We're going into very private things, therefore I cannot say."

"Do you think we should drag them along like that?"

"Isaac must come. But the rest may stay if they like."

"So this concerns Isaac, then?"

"Yes."

"Is it really that important?"

"Yes."

"And you would have him brave the sweltering heat of the Lamakan for it?"

"He has been through it before."

"When?"

"When it was at its hottest, about a year and a half ago."

"I always thought you were trustworthy, Hama. But do you expect me to believe that?"

"It is true. You may ask Ivan yourself."

"...very well. He may come."

Ivan, always the inquisitive one, was pressing his ear on the closed door of Hammet's study, trying to listen to the discussion. Seeing that it was finished, he ran off to what was Isaac's room for the duration of the stay at Kalay.

"Isaac! Isaac!"

"Proclaimed your love for Sheba yet?"

"ISAAC!"

"Fine, fine! I was just joking! What is it?"

"Let me come in, it's private."

Isaac stepped out of the doorway while Ivan went in. Isaac shut the door and joined Ivan on the bed.

"So, what is it? Mia finally confessed her love for Piers?" Isaac had gotten mischievous, just like the friend he was sitting beside...

"NO!!! NOW SHUT UP!!!" Ivan clearly wasn't in the mood for games right now.

The Madra Town Elder set his newspaper down. "Son, did you hear a scream just now?"

"...MY TOE!!!"

"Okay, okay! You don't have to scream, Ivan! I bet Kraden could hear that!"

That was a joke, since Kraden turned deaf just hours after he reached the ruins of Vale.

"Isaac, this is not a joke. Listen."

"I'm all ears!"

"You are supposed to go to Xian with Hammet and Hama."

"Why?"

"Something about a 'special opportunity'."

"Special opportunity? As in, like, discounts?"

"No, it's a lot more serious than that. As such, if you so choose, I will accompany you."

"You're allowed to come along?"

"Yes! I've been on these trips for...how long now?...Ten years!"

"Wow! Ten years!"

"That's not much, you know."

"If you think about it, a second is a long time."

"Think about it a different way, and a month seems to go by as fast as a day."

"Don't contradict me, I'm a Venus Adept..."

"So I can use you as a punching bag. So what?"

"WHAT...DID...YOU...SAY?!?!?!?!?!"

"Uh-oh..."

The Madra Town Elder set his newspaper down. "Son, did you see that flash of light?"

"...GOD! IT BURNS!"

It just so happened that Ivan wasn't hurt at all. Nothing was, in fact. Ivan simply had a few hundred bruises from a rather strong puncher.

"So what were you saying?"

"...punching bag..."

The Madra Town Elder set his newspaper down. "Son, am I growing old?"

"...YES! FINALLY!"

"Ivan, I'm scared!" Isaac had turned from homicidal boxer to baby in exactly 0.318309886 nanoseconds. (A/N: 0.318309886 is 1/Pi, in case you were wondering.) In addition, he was now sucking his thumb in Ivan's lap.

"Isaac, look. You are eighteen years old. I am sixteen. You are embarrassing yourself."

"WAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Okay, okay. What's the matter?"

Isaac shook his head vigorously, stopped his tears and turned from baby to homicidal boxer in exactly 3.1415926535 milliseconds. Ivan screamed.

"...Now that Ivan is gone...what I propose we do is invest our money into the Proxian Shop. It is the best-stocked store in all of Weyard." Hama said.

"How do you know that they will turn a profit?" Hammet asked.

"Do you recall where you got your business tips to begin with?" Hama argued.

"The people of Lalivero, if my memory doesn't fail me."

"Do know know of the Lighthouses?"

"Yes! Lalivero is close to the Jupiter Lighthouse, if I'm not deceived."

"Ah...but you are! Lalivero is farther away from Jupiter Lighthouse than you thought! So far away, in fact, that it is not the Star of Jupiter that shines upon it, but the Star of Venus!"

"Urrg...head hurting..."

"Why did we even entrust my brother to you?..."

"Sorry about that. So, what were you saying?"

"Urrg..."

"IVAN! ANSWER ME!"

"...owie..."

"Chloe? Is that who you like?"

"...no...OW!...ouch..."

"So you're still hurting? I'll go get Mia!"

"...no...OUCH!...oh...sore spot...Piers..."

"Piers? You want Piers?"

"...ngg...yes..."

Isaac shot out of his room like a bullet, and likewise crashed into Pier's hotel room in Vault.

"Isaac! What was that all about?"

"...tired...must heal...Ivan..."

"OHMYGOSH! YOU HEARD FROM IVAN!?!?!?!"
"Kalay...heal...injured...help..."

"Ivan's in Kalay?!?! Ohmygosh! I must see him!"

And thus was the origin of the "speeding bullets", the nickname for Isaac and Piers.

Not.

Isaac returned to his room in Kalay, Piers returned to his room in Vault, and Ivan was healed.

"I hate running!" Isaac fumed.

"Alright, Garet! You can stop pretending to be Isaac now!"

"Ivan, don't be stupid. I am Isaac! Isaac von Mondschien von Bagatellen! It's me!"

"Your last names are Moonlight and a trifle? That's very interesting."

"Mondschein und Bagatellen!"

"Which means 'Moonlight' and 'a trifle', respectively. Besides, I always thought you were Dutch, not German."

"It doesn't matter. So what did you want to say to me?"

"I'm done my bit. So will you cross the Lamakan and go to Xian?"

"I don't see why not. I can laugh at the Japanese people there!"

"Isaac..."

"What?"

"Don't call them Japanese. It's an insult."

"Then what are they? Korean? Vietnamese?"

"According to them, Koreans are weird and Vietnamese people are lazy."

Random Chinese Person: LIAR!

"Anyways..."

Random Chinese Guy disappears.

"Xian people are Chinese, Isaac." Ivan finished.

"Alright. So when will they make me go?"

"In two days. Ask around; maybe Piers or Jenna would like to come with you."

"Fine."