Chapter 5: Master Hammet

"Letter for Master Hammet!" the postman announced.

"Finally! It took long enough. Thank you, Adam." Hammet promptly snatched the letter and concealed it in his shirt.

"Goodbye, sir!" Adam shouted.

"Have a nice day. Go away!" Hammet shouted back.

"Now, let's see here. Letter…from Hama! Oh, good timing, young lady!"

The letter ran as follows:

Dear Hammet,

I finally bought into the Proxian Shop! Do you know how hard it is to get around in snow with only a dress? Anyways, I got us 28 shares in the store for 1400 coins. We were lucky. People have already started buying heavily! What did I tell you?

I have a cheque for 29,000 coins for you - your share of the profits at the Imil Coffee Shoppe. I will send it with along with the details of Ivan's affection for…certain people.

Until next time!

Yours truly,

Hama Rosaline Bilibin

"James!" Hammet shouted as he read.

"Yes sir!" the butler replied.

"Get me…some…lemonade, please."

"Yes, sir!"

"Oh, sneaky little Hama, you! Just because you came from Contigo –what a strange name for a town!– you think you can play around with my –thank you, James– money, now do you? Hum! We shall see…James, bring me parchment, pen and ink, if you please. No…actually, forget it, James. Thank you. Now, she must have did it for good reason. She never has cheated me before, so I suppose I can trust her. Now. James, I want to see Ivan. Where is he? I haven't seen him all this week, and his vacation is next week."

"Sir, Ivan went with Isaac to Xian."

"Why on earth – ha! The little rascal was listening to us, wasn't he? Well, that'll teach him!"

"But, sir…"

"You are not to breathe so much as a word of this matter to anyone, or I will see to it that you are hanged-"

"Of course, sir, not a word to-"

"by your hair-"

"No, sir, please, not the hair-"

"over a vat full-"

"Sir, Sir, I promise you in the name of-"

"of food-deprived-"

"in the name of the Most Holy-"

"alligators while-"

"Jupiter I swear to you with uplifted hand-"

"being flogged with burning whips-"

"that I will not let slip-"

"and spit on by every-"

"one word of this most embar-"

"person in Kalay while-"

"embarrassing affair-"

"you are being slowly castrated-"

"Please, sir, I want to be-"

"with a butter knife soaked-"

"a man in the next life! Please-"

"in sulphuric acid! Is this understood?"

"Yes, sir! I won't let you down, and I won't be hanged by my hair over a vat full of food-deprived alligators while being flogged with burning whips and spit on by every person in Kalay while slowly being castrated with a butter knife soaked in sulphuric acid!"

"Good on you, James. Now, leave me alone to my private thoughts."

"Yes, sir."

"I don't know why I am so fond of talking to myself." Hammet muttered, wandering around his unusually large sitting-room. "I am so bored! Those young'uns have all gone, Layana's gone on one of her 'shopping sprees', nothing to read…oh look. There's a book on that table. Let's see what it is. Umm… what on Weyard is that word? 'Versio vulgata'? What?? Forget this!"

He wandered around, muttering random stuff about boredom, when James came back.

"Sir, someone is at the door."

"Who is it?"

"He says his name is Felix."

"Felix the cat, I don't suppose."

"I remarked as much to him. He seemed to be quite angry about it."

"No doubt. What is his business?"

There came a soft thud, and the door suddenly opened.

"I believe I can speak for myself, thank you. Your guards are quite rude, Master Hammet, as is your butler. Where is Jenna?"

"I suppose that you are Felix. Very well. I don't know of this 'Jenna' of whom you speak. Please, leave me alone. I have a weak heart."

"I will be satisfied! Tell me where my sister Jenna is!" Felix shouted, taking menacing steps towards the old merchant.

"I speak the truth, young man. I don't know your sister. I haven't had any visitors but a friend of my servant Ivan."

"Ivan? Ivan Bilibin?"

"Yes, that's the one."

"Who was your visitor?!"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that, young man. You'll have to ask Ivan yourself, I'm afraid. I'll venture a guess that he's gone to Xian with that friend of his."

"Was his name Isaac?"

"I'm sorry, but I am not allowed to tell you. I can say confidently however that his name was not Isaac."

"Then was his name Piers, also known as Picard?"

"Blue hair?"

"Yes!"

"No, he left for Vault three months ago."

"You're tiring me, Hammet. Tell me who your visitor was!"

"I thought you wanted to know where your sister was?"

"I do. And your answer will help me a lot, for your information."

"Information is good. But I won't tell you who my visitor was."

"Ever heard of the Sol Blade?"

"Ah, yes. You hear rumours of these artifacts sometimes, especially in the higher circles of society. Of course the Sol Blade is spoken of the most in archaeological exhibits. You see articles about it in The Archaeological Gazette, and many other magazines as well. It's supposedly hidden deep in the Mars Lighthouse, at the end of a treacherous puzzle well inside the building. Fascinating, actually. And there has been rumours that the blade was taken, actually. Might find that interesting. It supposedly unleashes a giant flaming meteor of sorts upon the enemy. Ouchies for whoever has to face the guy with that."

"Yep. And if I'm not mistaken, that would be you."

"Me? Ha! I don't suppose you got all the way through Mars Lighthouse, did you?"

"I did. I lit it, too."

"Hmm… uh-oh."

"Ah. Now you realize. Now are you going to talk, or do I have to resort to this?" Felix gestured to his sword.

"Of course not. His name was…Garret, that's what it was."

"You lie. Garet has been living with me ever since we found Vale destroyed."

"Was he blonde-haired?"

"Well, no."

"I don't think we're talking about the same Garret here."

"Probably not. Garet has red hair."

"Oh, yes. I know that Garet. He saved me once. I'm not talking about that Garet. It's another Garret."

"Oh, alright. I suppose I'll have to go to Xian now, don't I?"

"I see you're very perceptive. Good on you!"

"Thank you!" Felix bowed. "Now, I must be going."

"Why don't you stay and have some tea?"

"I really have to go. My mom is waiting for me."

"Your…mom?"

"Yes, my mom. I have a curfew, you know. I really have to go."

"Fine, then. James, show him out the door."

"Yes, sir!"

Well, it looks like Felix is being his overprotective self again. Seriously, how does Jenna live with him nagging him all the time? She considered suicide, but then there'd be no guarantee that Felix wouldn't let the…hehe…secret…out. Yeah. Enough on that subject. But about his overbearing-ness, we'll hear from Jenna herself, as she is right now sitting in an inn in Altin., speaking with Sheba…about precisely that topic.

"Really??"

"Oh, yeah. Felix is a baby at heart. Take my word for it."

"He doesn't seem like a baby. I mean, he did jump off the top of Venus Lighthouse for me."

"And what, pray tell, did he do while flying into the ocean?"

"Umm…well…he just grabbed on to my ankle and flung me upwards."

"What about the impact?"

"Well, he was trying to get under me, but failed horribly. He ended up falling on me."

"What then?"

"He apparently swam for Idejima, knowing you and the other guys would be there. I passed out halfway, and I don't know about him."

"Okay then, looks like I can't prove his babyness from there…listen. He likes you."

"Really??"

"Oh, yeah. There's a secret cave behind the waterfall at our house. Thankfully, we reclaimed that plot of land when we started rebuilding. We had split it up into two, since it was so roomy, and shared it between us. After we finished with the house, he had the wall rebuilt so that it was practically unbreakable. Then he put in an iron door and the biggest lock you'd ever see. I saw him go in once, and there was a bunch of pictures of you, a purple altar and candles shaped like the Jupiter Lighthouse."

"Sure. Whatever."

"You don't believe me? Go and read Felix's mind and see if I'm lying."

"Fine. I will."

"Do you believe he's a baby now?"

"No."

"In the name of Mars! Why??"

"Well, you pulled out really bad proofs. Now if you had what I have, then you could prove it to me and anyone else besides."

"What do you have?!?!"

"Well, I do have certain…pictures of him, as well as a diary entry saying-"

We're sorry, that was the wrong conversation we had put on for you. It's from a stay in Vault two or three months ago, by the way. Here's the real conversation.

"Really??"

"Yep. He's so overbearing! I can't walk one step without him nagging me about something!"

"Is that why you insisted on a 'girl's room' at every hotel?"

"Yep. To get away from him!"

"Poor girl. What about back in Vale?"

"It wasn't as bad, because that job rested on my parents then. But he was still 'helping out'."
"Hehe! I know for a fact Faran doesn't force me to wash my bras in front of him. Felix's a riot! 'Make sure you clean them properly!!' Ha!"

"Not a riot, a dirty person. I know he looked at my breasts once."

"As long as he isn't looking at your birth canal-"

"He looked at that too. The inside. Something about a 'Pop exam' or something."

"Eww!! Oh, Jupiter, he looked inside?? That's gross!! Oh, my virgin ears!!!"

"Better thank Jupiter for your virgin eyes, then. And your vagina. When he looks in there, it's painful! He scrapes it, for Mars' sake!"

"EWW!!!"

"See how overbearing he is???"

"Definitely."

"And did I tell you about the time he forced me to do my homework? He was like, 'Jenna, I hope you're doing your homework!' And I was like, 'I am, Felix! Can't you just leave me alone?' And then he started sitting on my bed, watching me do those silly algebra equations, and dropping pointless pointers that I already knew. And when he left, he asked how much he helped me, and I said, 'None. Zero. Nada. Nien.' "

"Ha ha. Faran made me do algebra inequalities, so you're lucky, actually."

"What the hell is an 'inequality'??"

"Something really pointless. But if you must know, ask Ivan. He can do those better than me."

"Why is it that Jupiter Adepts are such nerds?"

"Maybe it's from our intimate knowledge of the mind."

"True enough. Want a cookie?"

"Okay. That was totally random, but okay."

Well, that's it for today. And yes, we know that the chapter wasn't entirely about Hammet…but oh well! Thanks for reading, and review if you please!!! Oh, and sorry about the long update. I hate exams.