Chapter 7: A Stay in the Inn

"Well…" Isaac sighed.

"We're here, I guess." Ivan finished.

"It resembles in appearance the town of Izumo, although I can't see why. Perhaps some time ago they were separated into two groups, one that went out to Gaia Rock and one that came here-"

"Shut up, Mr. Holmes, or a beating is wanting." Jenna told Garet. "You're not supposed to be a smart-ass, you're supposed to be comic relief."

"Well, doubt not that if I were comic relief, I would dispose of you in a very comical fashion by throwing you into the sea, Jenna. That would be a relief to all of us, and it would be comical, too." Garet retorted.

"Now, now Garet. It's not nice to turn people's words on end like that." Ivan warned. "Besides, this place doesn't look much like Izumo at all. Their roofs are made of straw. This place looks nicer than that old rusty town."

"At any rate, it's good to see this town again. I always thought it a quaint little place." Mia said.

"I've never been here before, but it looks nice. The people look like they came from Izumo." Sheba remarked.

"They didn't. The people of Izumo came from Xian." Ivan was always well-versed in Weyard history.

Thus the chatter continued until they came to the inn, where there aroused a large argument about rooms. Isaac came to the counter and asked for six rooms, but the innkeeper gave the reply that there were only four rooms left.

"I wanna be alone! I won't have anybody trying to feel me up as I sleep!" Sheba declared.

"Why are you so afraid about being felt up when nobody's even interested in you? You're only fourteen, for heaven's sake! Now as for me, I need a private room! I feel like a flippin' prostitute with all these guys here!" Mia yelled as she sat down on the table.

"Oh, thinking only about the girls now, are we? And us to share rooms like a bunch of homosexuals? Self-centered bastards…" Garet muttered.

"Garet, watch your tongue or I'll cut it off!" Jenna said.

"I'll see you hanged first!"

"Guys…" Ivan squeaked.

"Hey Mia, wanna sleep with me?" Isaac shouted, jokingly.

"Not on your life, you man-whore!" Mia replied.

"No such whore as you, if me you mean!" Isaac replied smugly.

"Mean I am, concerning you!" Mia replied.

"Concerned about me? Thanks for your thoughtfulness!"

"I want to sleep alone, thanks!" Sheba shouted in the background.

"Thoughtful I am, but thoughtless you are, Isaac!" Mia fumed.

"Yes, it would be thoughtlessness on my part if tonight I did not sleep with you."

"Had I my way, you'd be sleeping in the deep blue sea!"

"One needs only to look into my deep blue eyes to see my affection for you, Mia."

"Your affection for what you think I am, rather!"

"Hey Garet, look at the two lovebirds!" Jenna whooped as she chased Sheba around the room.

"I'll sleep alone, thanks!" Sheba shouted to some random person.

"I think I'll die if the place beside me on my bed is wanting, Mia." Isaac declared.

"Then it shall be forever wanting, like the space in your empty skull!"

"Yes, I am wanting…wanting for you to come into bed with me!"

"Bed you shall have; once I'm done with you your bed shall be a grave!"

"My bed may be a grave, but your bed is my body!"

"Asses are made to bear, Isaac, and so are you!"

"Women are made to bear, Mia, and so are you!"

"A big, stupid bear you are; I won't suffer to bear you and you know it."

"Bear me? No, no, your bearings are off."

By now the innkeeper and the other four Adepts were staring at this fierce argument. Sheba resolved to sleep with someone -anyone that night; she'd have nightmares if she didn't.

"Off your rocker, you are!" Mia screamed in a transport of anger.

"Rock your little body to sleep; I'll be right there with you!" Isaac laughed.

"Be there and die, you fiend of hell!"

"Fiend you are, denying me the pleasure of your company in bed!"

"Your company will be with thieves in prison!"

"I'm in the company of a thief already; you've stolen my heart."

"And I've come out with naught but a heart of stone."

"Yes, my heart weighs heavily sometimes upon my body and soul."

"This table here has more soul than you!"

"I'll admit, your futile arguments carry much of the same."

"If my arguments be futile, so are your attempts to have me in bed with you!"

" 'Attempts' call you these? Nay, those be merely jests! Should I have made a true attempt, you'd be in bed with me, and that in no more than a minute."

"Had I half of one, I'd be gone through your buttered fingers!"

"And right into the buttered frying pan, where you're concerned!"

"Then to turn around and beat you with it."

"Yet I have beaten you already."

"Doubt not that you have done so, yet have not won."

"I care not whether I win or lose, so long as you sleep this night with me."

"Not even a knave would sleep with you, let alone knights!"

"Yet you miss my meaning, but you shall be in bed with me tonight."

"Then to a knight I shall go; perhaps he will save me from this fiend of hell."

"Then you are a coward, to run away like a duckling and a chicken."

"At least I was not brought up by ducklings and chickens!"

"Well, I never! Come here, you wench! I ought to beat you, and soundly."

"I'll wrench your hands off your wrists if you try!"

"I won't try; I will."

"Why, you don't have a will."

"Why say you that? I have will enough to want you in bed."

"Ha! One must needs have an estate to have a will. And if no estate, why then no will."

"Soon enough you shall be it."

"Estate or will?"

"Why, my estate, of course."

"Why, you!" Mia lunged at Isaac.

"Ha! I commend your dancing. But I've a mind to let you go tonight. It's obvious you won't consent under that mindset."

The other four Adepts decided to sleep in pairs that night, and spare the two rooms for the two…arguers. Ivan gave the innkeeper the bag of money, and they went off into their rooms in a state of shock. Mia could be pretty ferocious sometimes.

"That was good. I never imagined we would do so well." Isaac said.

"Well, it worked. We got our own rooms! Good thinking, Isaac!" Mia beamed.

"Did you see how Jenna shuddered just now? If only I could get a picture of that…"

"Sheba almost fainted! It was so funny. Thanks for that, honeybunny!" And they…embraced…each other.

"Did you notice how archaic some of those word forms were?" asked Ivan as he put his miniscule wardrobe into the corner of the dresser.

"Yeah…" Garet mumbled, eating.

"Some of that almost sounds like it came from Shakespeare or something."

"Didn't you…mmm, good stuff!…hear that part…you gotta try some of this stuff, little guy!...where Isaac told her women were made…yum!…to bear?..."

"Yeah."

"…yummy…Taming of the Shrew, little fella!...Man, this stuff is good!..."

"Garet, you are such a pig."

"Yeah…swallow…I know; Aaron said something…yum!…along those…swallow…lines before…"

"Garet, you really have to lay off with that diet."

"That sounded suspiciously like Jenna…"

"I know…but really. Didn't Isaac talk to you about this?"

"Even you did…remember? You were furious…I can still remember those red cheeks…" Garet snickered.

"Shut up, Garet!"

"But, still. This stuff if good…yum…I could almost be addicted to it…"

"Garet, you are addicted to it."

"Once again, you sound just like Jenna. She always nags me about that sort of thing."

"I wonder why you're never any fatter than you are, even though you eat more than a pig."

"I'm starting to wonder whether you are really are Ivan or not. Those snide remarks are just like her."

"Umm…Garet…I didn't say a thing after I called you a pig."

"So then who did? It's not like Jenna's in here or anything."

"Check again, Garet."

"Jenna?"

"The same." She walked into the room and slapped Garet on the face.

"Ouch."

"Good. Now stop eating! Look at how Ivan is hiding under the bed."

"He's scared of you. Everybody is."

"Naw…he's disgusted by your excessive eating! Aren't you, Ivan?"

"Umm…maybe…"

"You are, aren't you?"

"Jenna, get out."

"I dare you to say that to my face, short stuff!" She advanced towards the bed.

Garet turned her body around, and then bent down slightly so his eyes met Jenna's. "Get. Out."

"Fine. Later, folks!" She waltzed out the door.

"Thanks for that, Garet." Ivan crawled out of the bed. "She freaks me out sometimes."

"I know. I've had to live with it for a million years, too. Care for a shortcake?"

"Sure, why not." Ivan sat down and ate.

"What an ass Garet it. He just eats and eats and eats. Does he care about anything else?" Jenna fumed in her room.

"Well, he cares an awful lot about you. You can tell just by seeing how hurt he is when you yell at him." Sheba said.

"Do you know what he thinks of me?" Jenna asked.

"He's awful hurt by the way you treat him. He was always the one telling Isaac to look for you…"

"How do you know?"

"Isaac told me. How else?"

"You could have used those Jupiter powers on him."

"He would know."

"So? He such a blockhead, he wouldn't care anyways."

"How do you explain how angry he got when Ivan did it, then?"

"Umm…"

"You really should be nicer to him. He really cares, you know."

"I never thought you'd be lecturing me, Sheba."

"Well, it's for your own good. You realize that without Garet you'd never have seen Isaac again."

"Yes, I know, but…"

"Ah, I have hit it now. Confess! You feel bad about being so mean to Garet now, don't you?"

"Yes, yes, I confess."

"Very good. Now what do you propose to do?"

"Apologize. Right now." Jenna got up to leave.

"In that case you are every bit a blockhead as you say Garet is. He almost hates you right now; he'll just turn his back to you."

"What do you propose, then?"

"I propose that you slowly start being nice to him. With emphasis on 'slowly'."

"Why slowly?"

"So he will believe that you are truly starting to be nice with him."

"Why not just completely turn around? He's bound not to…"

"See? "Why not just start now? He's bound not to…" Jenna clapped her hand to her mouth.

"See? You need time, too. Hey, isn't it time for dinner?"

"No…we haven't even had lunch yet."

"Right, of course. Lunch."

"You are so easily fooled, you little girl!"

"I'm not little! I'm fourteen!"

"And I'm sixteen!"

"So? I'm not a little girl anymore!"

"Oh, shut up, you twerp."

"Hey!" They chased each other down the hall like the children they are.

"So, what exactly are we doing in Xian?" Garet asked.

"Umm…well, Ivan just told me that I should come. Go ask him."

"This is really pissing me off, if I may say so myself! I want to know why I came here!"

"Well, listen to me, old pal, and ask that Jupiter kid! He just told me I was supposed to come!"

"He didn't tell you anything else?"

"Nope. Once he tells you, tell me why, will ya?"

"Either you have become twice the actor you were, or you really don't know."

"I don't. And don't bring that up. Somebody could get hurt." Isaac gave Garet a Glare of Death™.

"What's with the glare, man? You know I freak out when you do that."

"It's my Glare of Death™. It's supposed to freak people out."

"You even trademarked your Glare of Death™? That's pretty weird, pal."

"Well, they had a thousand-coin reward for the first registrant at that Angara Trademark and Patent Office. Remember? They made a presentation at Vale a few years ago."

"You were the one? How come I don't know about this?"

"I told you, but I think you were preoccupied with some blueberry pie at the time."

"Hey! Your mom makes the best blueberry pie, and don't you forget it!"

"My dad makes a better one. He taught Mom."

"No. Way."

"Yes way! He even knows which blueberries make the best pie!"

"Whoa, man. You're telling me that the first, one and only recipient of the Valean Worst Cooking Award makes better blueberry pie than your mom?"

"He has so much pride about his cooking, Mom dared him to cook a really bad dinner for the contest. It was a week later that I found out why my socks were soaking wet. My dad was making tea with them!"

"Ewww! Isn't that, like, unsanitary?"

"Well, he can't back down from a dare from Mom. Something about ladies and pride. I dunno."

"He made tea with your socks?"

"Yep. It made a drink…complimentary to his cow manure casserole and dried urine cake. He had to save a lot of that to make it."

"Oh my god! Where does your dad get all these sick ideas?"

"I don't know, Garet. I don't know."

"Well, I'd hate to have a dad that sick. Hey, aren't we missing dinner?"

"Judging by the appearance of the dining room, I'd say we are."

"Why don't we pull that stunt we always do?"

"That one where we sneak…"

"Yeah. That one. Ready?"

"All set. Let's move out!"

"I demand an explanation, Ivan! What are we doing here?" Mia scolded.

"Yeah! If there's no reason we're here, we might just leave!" Jenna added.

"Umm…well…actually, it only involved Isaac…" Ivan whimpered.

"Hurry up and tell!" Jenna barked.

"Hama said that Isaac would benefit in some way by coming here but I don't know how because I left to tell Isaac and didn't hear the rest of her conversation which she was having with Master Hammet in the study at Hammet Palace when the door was closed and I was overhearing the conversation!" Ivan gasped for breath.

"Oh…kay…That made a lot of sense. So you don't know why we're here?" Mia asked.

"Umm…no…maybe Isaac knows more…"

"Isaac? Hey! Where's Isaac and Garet?" Jenna asked.

"They were in one of the rooms, Isaac's I think." Sheba told her.

"Probably having one of those unhallowed 'boy chats', no doubt. Someday I'll hear what they say!" Jenna fumed.

"Did you hear what they said about our chats?" Garet whispered.

"Yep. We shallgive her a lesson!" Isaac kicked Jenna's shins.

"Ow!" Jenna shrieked.

"What's wrong, Jenna? What happened?" Mia asked.

"There's someone under the table." Ivan said.

"No, there are two." Sheba loved correcting Ivan.

"I don't care how many there are! Who's there?" Jenna shrieked.

"Well, one of them is a Venus Adept…" Ivan offered.

"ISAAC!" Jenna lunged under the table and dragged the above-named Venus Adept out from under the table by his ear. "Ow! That hurt, Jenna!" he complained.

"Well, why'd you kick me? That wasn't nice!"

"You called our chats 'unhallowed'! In other words, unholy! As in, worse than Dad's entry in the Valean Cooking Contest!"

"Nothing, Jenna, could be worse than that." Garet emerged from under the table.

"What in Mercury-What were you doing under there? You scared the wits out of poor Jenna here!" Mia was angry, which was, as we know, not good.

"Why should I care?" asked Garet. "She doesn't care when she does it to others!"

Sheba glanced at Jenna, who excused herself.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, we have some eating to do!" His eyes lighted up at the myriad of delicacies on the table.

Jenna was buried in her sheets at the hotel, sobbing. Aw, come on, Sheba had said. It's time for you to show him you're not that bad! Get out, Jenna told her, sobbing into her pillow. He's shown admirable patience for your ungrateful behaviour, said Sheba as she went out the door. Jenna sobbed some more.

"Hey, Jenna! Sheba told me you were - I mean, are – crying. What's the matter?" Garet sat down by the bed.

"You wouldn't care…I'm just a heartless beast to you, aren't I?" Jenna buried herself deeper in the sheets.

"Come now, don't say that…"

"It's true, isn't it?"

"No, of course not. Why would you say that?"

"I feel so horrible…"

"Are you sick or something? Maybe I better call Mia."

"I can heal myself if I'm sick! There's a bunch of Potions in my bag. Just-just leave me alone, okay?"

"But-"

"Just go, alright? Or I'm going to-"

"I've never seen this side of you before. Mind if I stay?"

"Yes! Yes, of course I do! Just…just…" She covered her face with a blanket.

"I think you need someone to talk to."

"Stop it! I need my alone time."

"Alright!" Garet threw up his hands and walked out of the room. A "good night" was heard from down the hall.

"Garet, what's wrong with Jenna? She's sobbing like a baby!" Ivan asked.

"She won't say. I think she's delirious; she was talking about heartless beasts and the like."

"I think she's sane, or else she wouldn't be sobbing like that."

"Ah, whatever. She feels horrible, that's all I know."

"You know, she never turned out to be what you told me she would be like."

"Can't take a little white lie here and there? Ah, whatever. Go to sleep, kiddo."

"Good night, Garet."

"Good night, Ivan." The candle went out.