Disclaimer: Not my property. Do not own them. But we all know I wouldn't be
here if I did...mmmmm yummy demons!
Rating: PG-13. so far
Paring: Kurama and Hiei - duh!
A/N: My very first attempt at sharing my fic.s.fourth chapter! FYI - I am NOT responsible for any injuries sustained from reading this fiction .. like nosebleeds..*sneer* little hentai.
Umm. I don't know if I did Kurama's history right. If I messed up horribly then please let me know!
How Can I Say.... I love you?
Kurama's sobs had decreased to quiet whimpers. He leaned against his mother's shoulder arms wrapped around her small waist. Shiori murmured soothingly into his ear and gently petted his long red hair. It calmed him. It was strange how one so delicate, so fragile, so mortal could have so strong a spirit. Some humans never ceased to amaze him.
He unwound his arms and sat back with whispered thanks. It was now or never. Shiori waited patiently for him to speak, but the words seemed stuck.
I cannot do this.
See will hate me.
I don't care.
I don't know.
I can't.
No!
I can.
I will.
I must tell her.
The fox took a deep breath. Slowly he looked into Shiori's gentle eyes, searching for any hint of anger or disgust. He found nothing of the sort.
There was compassion, confusion, sadness and love. A mother's love. Not the love he longed-
No! I will NOT think of -him- now!
Kurama shook his head to clear his train of thoughts and took another deep breath.
"What I am going to tell you may sound impossible, but please believe me."
"I will, my son, as I always have."
Kurama lowered his head slightly in admonishment.
"Gomen nasai, okassan."
He sighed and placed his hand atop her folded ones.
"Gomen, but I- I am not really your son."
"Nani??"
Kurama looked into her eyes again, without his walls, without his mask.
Shiori gasped. His eyes were old, full of ancient wisdom. It was like looking into an endless well of emerald. Eyes layered with emotion and knowledge that were somewhat alien to her. He had said he was not her son. Looking into his eyes, she understood. The body was one she had given life to, but the soul-
His soul was not the soul of a sixteen year old.
"Shuichi? Doushite?"
Speaking in a low voice he began to tell his tale.
"My name is not Shuichi Minamino. It is Kurama, Youko Kurama. I am not human, not really. I am a Youko- a fox demon. And I have lived many ages in my real home. The Makai, the demon world."
A sly smirk lit his features, as he continued.
"I was a fox spirit at first. I was free, but not content. I had a weakness- or rather an obsession. Treasure. Gems, gold, magical items- anything and everything. It was all fascinating. Over time, I was strong enough to gain my Youko form. Still I sought the treasures of the world. I was a thief, elite, and there was nothing that I could not obtain."
Kurama ducked his head, realizing that he was bragging to his human mother about stealing. But the human woman just chuckled remembering when Shu- no Kurama had somehow managed to sneak cookies when she wasn't looking, only three years old at the time. Well, physically. He continued.
"I was known throughout the Makai. The legendary Youko Kurama. I was the lone rouge of the Youko Clan. It did not matter if I lived apart from the Clan though. I could have anyone I wanted, Youko and youkai alike. And I did."
The redhead flushed in embarrassment. Gods, he was telling his mother- his MOTHER- about his old conquests. Again, Shiori laughed knowing exactly what was going through his mind. Secretly Kurama was pleased at how easily he accepted his past.
"What do Youkos look like?"
Kurama bit his lip; he could show her-
No. Best leave that for last.
"They are beautiful. Youkos have fox ears and tails. In the Makai sent is very important and Youkos have a universally attractive sent. Therefore, they are easily the most wanted of all the races in the Makai. Youkos usually have black, brown, red or blonde fur. However there was a rare color amongst Youkos, silver. Only those destined for great power were silver. Silver Youkos were nearly revered by even the Clan because of their power and beauty."
Kurama's tone had become somewhat arrogant and he blushed again.
Damn fox pride.
Shiori smiled wide and tilted her head in amusement.
"I assume that you are a silver Youko."
Kurama blushed even harder, and Shiori again laughed.
"I would like to see your Youko form one day, my son, but please continue with your story."
Kurama's eyes grew serious once again and his voice lowered. He pulled his hand away gently.
"I was not someone to be proud of, okassan. I am not as innocent as you would think. There is much blood on my hands, many that I have killed."
He lowered his head, ashamed that he so unclean compared to Shiori's pure soul.
She was innocent and he was not.
Would she understand his past?
"I did not kill without reason, but kill never-the-less I have. Many youkai have challenged me, and most have fallen. I was cold and detached during battle, and still am today. Cold, selfish and unbeatable. At least that was what I thought. Then during one of my searches for treasure a hunter began to hunt me. I fled but not quickly enough. I was mortally wounded."
Kurama's jade eyes dulled a little, showing flashes of remembered pain. Shiori once again clutched his hand, but he did not seem to notice.
"I could feel myself nearing death, could feel my ki slowly- painfully ebb away. But I was Youko Kurama. I would not- could not be killed so easily, and not by some foolish bounty hunter."
"I used all of the ki I could still grasp and fled from my body. I sent my spirit into the Ningenkai, the human world, and searched for the nearest human. I knew that the only way to stay with the living was to inhabit the body of an unborn child, one that did not yet have a soul. That way I could grow as my ki grew. In ten years, I would have enough to escape and go back home. I felt a young woman nearby whose unborn child was growing; it did not have a soul. Before death could take me I merged with the baby's body."
Shiori eyes widened as Kurama continued.
"By ten I had gained enough ki to survive in the Makai, just as I had predicted. But something had happened that I did not expect. The young woman who had given me new life had also given me something I had never before possessed. Love."
Kurama smiled at Shiori's shocked expression.
"Love was something unheard of in the Makai. Love, along with most emotions, was a weakness. You did not need love to survive in the Makai. It was a weakness that could get you killed."
"Love. It was ironic that a mortal could teach a life lesson to one as old as I. I had felt lust, known it like every other demon, but I was astounded by love. Lust was just a physical reaction, but love, love was like nothing I'd ever felt. It is unfathomable; it is insatiable. It is complex, and yet simple. Love is the ultimate paradox of all worlds. And yet this fragile human, this tiny being that was a mere child compared with my existence, understood and embraced love like I never had."
Kurama looked into Shiori's tear-filled eyes and smiled a loving smile.
"You had given me the greatest treasure I could ever have possessed. I had changed. I could not leave you; I loved you. I became kind, compassionate and gentle. I would never be the same as I had been, even if I was in my Youko form."
"I did not tell you what I truly was for fear that you would hate me for what I had done. But I felt restless. I decided to train myself in order to protect the humans that I had grown so attached. I trained as hard as I had in the Makai. My ability to control plants grew over the years. I was not as powerful as my Youko form but it was enough for the human world. Then when I was walking with a young girl-child, I met another demon."
Kurama smile grew and his voice was wistful.
"His name is Hiei. He was a fire demon searching for a Koorime, an ice maiden, I later found out it was his sister. We fought a demon together and I healed his wounds. He knew that I was not who I pretended to be and was very surprised to learn that the little boy with the sword of grass was in fact Youko Kurama. Our fighting styles were compatible so we formed a partnership."
"Over time I began to feel a strong friendship with the stubborn fire demon. I learned all I could about his past, as horrible as it was, and respect him for all he has lived through. Then a couple of years ago, he asked me to help him steal three priceless artifacts from the Rekai. I-I.."
Kurama looked at Shiori hesitant.
Should I tell her about the Mirror?
No, I don't want her to worry.
"I agreed. But ruler of the Spirit world sent his new detective after us. I gave the treasure I had to the detective but Hiei and the third demon, Goki, resisted. Yusuke defeated them and.."
"Yusuke? Haven't I met him?"
"Oh, yes when you were sick he came over."
"Wait, he's a demon?"
"Half, but we didn't know that at the time."
"So now you are friends with him?"
"Yes, after Yusuke turned us in, Koenma, Yusuke's boss, decided that our punishment would be better served as Yusuke's Rekai Tantei team members. The three of us, along with a human psychic named Kuwabara, fought in different tournaments and solved different cases."
"Ah, so that is where you were. I had wondered."
"Okassan gomen.."
"Shh, I understand."
"Arigatou gozaimasu."
Kurama sighed heavily. He had told her nearly everything, but he did not know if he could tell her this. Admitting to being a demon was far easier than admitting you were leaving because of unrequited love.
"That is my past, but I have more to tell."
Shiori nodded. She needed to hear all that he needed to tell, though her heart already knew why it was he was so upset. A woman's intuition is very rarely wrong, even if your son was a Youko.
"I am leaving, I can't stay here any longer. It is not because of you, I will always love you. I just- I can't- It-I.."
Kurama ran a pale trembling hand through his crimson tresses and sighed again.
"What is wrong?"
A smirk..
"I can't stay here."
An insolent shrug..
"I am trapped here."
A hint of a smile revealing pointed fangs..
"I-I miss my old home."
Flame shaped ebon hair with a white starburst in the front..
"I can't do this any more."
White silk warding a glowing eye..
"It hurts to much to pretend that- that."
Deep eyes- blood red eyes- passionate, arrogant, innocent eyes..
Kurama's head fell into trembling hands, his flame colored hair falling like a silk screen to hide his tears. Shiori again comforted him with the warmth of her embrace and her heart. The kitsune sobbed uncontrollable, anguished, longing sobs.
"I-I can't stay here. I can't face hi-him anymore, it-it hurts to much."
"Why does it hurt, segare."
"Be-because I love him!"
"Shh, koishii. It is good that you love someone."
"No. No. I can't- I cannot love him. I cannot but I do. I love him so much okassan it.. I.. I love him!"
"Why can't you love him, Kurama?"
"Because it is forbidden. He is forbidden- the forbidden of his kind. He does not.. will never.. he will never fall in love. He will never-never love me."
Kurama's broken sobs, his heartbroken confession, tore at Shiori's own heart.
How could she fix this?
Kurama pulled away again, wiping slowly at the tear drawn paths that stained his flushed cheeks.
He had to leave.
It would not be long before the others began to worry.
He still had not played with them yet.
"Kurama you are my son. I do not care how you became my son; I still love you with all my heart. But this is something were you must stand-alone. You must either hide from love or fight for it. Whatever you choose- I will always love you as my son, Youko Kurama."
Shiori stood and walked to the door.
Kurama took a deep breath and walked to her side. Turning he looked deep into her eyes. Love shone clearly from their depths.
At that moment, it was he who felt like a child.
She was so strong. So young but so wise.
He knew why he loved her.
She was his mother.
Kurama kissed her cheek softly.
"Good bye, Shiori."
"It is never good bye, Kurama."
Kurama's eyes flashed golden and he smiled.
"I love you, my mother." "I love you as well, my son."
The kitsune opened the door and walked away from the human that meant so much to him.
Shiori watched him until he faded from view. She did not know if he would ever come back, but she would always stay. Raising a fragile hand to the graying sky, she whispered a soft prayer.
"Watch over him Forbidden One, he loves you when hope is none."
R/R pwease!!^^
TBC.
^_^
*cliffhanger! *
The next chapter will have more of Hiei's POV!!!
Rating: PG-13. so far
Paring: Kurama and Hiei - duh!
A/N: My very first attempt at sharing my fic.s.fourth chapter! FYI - I am NOT responsible for any injuries sustained from reading this fiction .. like nosebleeds..*sneer* little hentai.
Umm. I don't know if I did Kurama's history right. If I messed up horribly then please let me know!
How Can I Say.... I love you?
Kurama's sobs had decreased to quiet whimpers. He leaned against his mother's shoulder arms wrapped around her small waist. Shiori murmured soothingly into his ear and gently petted his long red hair. It calmed him. It was strange how one so delicate, so fragile, so mortal could have so strong a spirit. Some humans never ceased to amaze him.
He unwound his arms and sat back with whispered thanks. It was now or never. Shiori waited patiently for him to speak, but the words seemed stuck.
I cannot do this.
See will hate me.
I don't care.
I don't know.
I can't.
No!
I can.
I will.
I must tell her.
The fox took a deep breath. Slowly he looked into Shiori's gentle eyes, searching for any hint of anger or disgust. He found nothing of the sort.
There was compassion, confusion, sadness and love. A mother's love. Not the love he longed-
No! I will NOT think of -him- now!
Kurama shook his head to clear his train of thoughts and took another deep breath.
"What I am going to tell you may sound impossible, but please believe me."
"I will, my son, as I always have."
Kurama lowered his head slightly in admonishment.
"Gomen nasai, okassan."
He sighed and placed his hand atop her folded ones.
"Gomen, but I- I am not really your son."
"Nani??"
Kurama looked into her eyes again, without his walls, without his mask.
Shiori gasped. His eyes were old, full of ancient wisdom. It was like looking into an endless well of emerald. Eyes layered with emotion and knowledge that were somewhat alien to her. He had said he was not her son. Looking into his eyes, she understood. The body was one she had given life to, but the soul-
His soul was not the soul of a sixteen year old.
"Shuichi? Doushite?"
Speaking in a low voice he began to tell his tale.
"My name is not Shuichi Minamino. It is Kurama, Youko Kurama. I am not human, not really. I am a Youko- a fox demon. And I have lived many ages in my real home. The Makai, the demon world."
A sly smirk lit his features, as he continued.
"I was a fox spirit at first. I was free, but not content. I had a weakness- or rather an obsession. Treasure. Gems, gold, magical items- anything and everything. It was all fascinating. Over time, I was strong enough to gain my Youko form. Still I sought the treasures of the world. I was a thief, elite, and there was nothing that I could not obtain."
Kurama ducked his head, realizing that he was bragging to his human mother about stealing. But the human woman just chuckled remembering when Shu- no Kurama had somehow managed to sneak cookies when she wasn't looking, only three years old at the time. Well, physically. He continued.
"I was known throughout the Makai. The legendary Youko Kurama. I was the lone rouge of the Youko Clan. It did not matter if I lived apart from the Clan though. I could have anyone I wanted, Youko and youkai alike. And I did."
The redhead flushed in embarrassment. Gods, he was telling his mother- his MOTHER- about his old conquests. Again, Shiori laughed knowing exactly what was going through his mind. Secretly Kurama was pleased at how easily he accepted his past.
"What do Youkos look like?"
Kurama bit his lip; he could show her-
No. Best leave that for last.
"They are beautiful. Youkos have fox ears and tails. In the Makai sent is very important and Youkos have a universally attractive sent. Therefore, they are easily the most wanted of all the races in the Makai. Youkos usually have black, brown, red or blonde fur. However there was a rare color amongst Youkos, silver. Only those destined for great power were silver. Silver Youkos were nearly revered by even the Clan because of their power and beauty."
Kurama's tone had become somewhat arrogant and he blushed again.
Damn fox pride.
Shiori smiled wide and tilted her head in amusement.
"I assume that you are a silver Youko."
Kurama blushed even harder, and Shiori again laughed.
"I would like to see your Youko form one day, my son, but please continue with your story."
Kurama's eyes grew serious once again and his voice lowered. He pulled his hand away gently.
"I was not someone to be proud of, okassan. I am not as innocent as you would think. There is much blood on my hands, many that I have killed."
He lowered his head, ashamed that he so unclean compared to Shiori's pure soul.
She was innocent and he was not.
Would she understand his past?
"I did not kill without reason, but kill never-the-less I have. Many youkai have challenged me, and most have fallen. I was cold and detached during battle, and still am today. Cold, selfish and unbeatable. At least that was what I thought. Then during one of my searches for treasure a hunter began to hunt me. I fled but not quickly enough. I was mortally wounded."
Kurama's jade eyes dulled a little, showing flashes of remembered pain. Shiori once again clutched his hand, but he did not seem to notice.
"I could feel myself nearing death, could feel my ki slowly- painfully ebb away. But I was Youko Kurama. I would not- could not be killed so easily, and not by some foolish bounty hunter."
"I used all of the ki I could still grasp and fled from my body. I sent my spirit into the Ningenkai, the human world, and searched for the nearest human. I knew that the only way to stay with the living was to inhabit the body of an unborn child, one that did not yet have a soul. That way I could grow as my ki grew. In ten years, I would have enough to escape and go back home. I felt a young woman nearby whose unborn child was growing; it did not have a soul. Before death could take me I merged with the baby's body."
Shiori eyes widened as Kurama continued.
"By ten I had gained enough ki to survive in the Makai, just as I had predicted. But something had happened that I did not expect. The young woman who had given me new life had also given me something I had never before possessed. Love."
Kurama smiled at Shiori's shocked expression.
"Love was something unheard of in the Makai. Love, along with most emotions, was a weakness. You did not need love to survive in the Makai. It was a weakness that could get you killed."
"Love. It was ironic that a mortal could teach a life lesson to one as old as I. I had felt lust, known it like every other demon, but I was astounded by love. Lust was just a physical reaction, but love, love was like nothing I'd ever felt. It is unfathomable; it is insatiable. It is complex, and yet simple. Love is the ultimate paradox of all worlds. And yet this fragile human, this tiny being that was a mere child compared with my existence, understood and embraced love like I never had."
Kurama looked into Shiori's tear-filled eyes and smiled a loving smile.
"You had given me the greatest treasure I could ever have possessed. I had changed. I could not leave you; I loved you. I became kind, compassionate and gentle. I would never be the same as I had been, even if I was in my Youko form."
"I did not tell you what I truly was for fear that you would hate me for what I had done. But I felt restless. I decided to train myself in order to protect the humans that I had grown so attached. I trained as hard as I had in the Makai. My ability to control plants grew over the years. I was not as powerful as my Youko form but it was enough for the human world. Then when I was walking with a young girl-child, I met another demon."
Kurama smile grew and his voice was wistful.
"His name is Hiei. He was a fire demon searching for a Koorime, an ice maiden, I later found out it was his sister. We fought a demon together and I healed his wounds. He knew that I was not who I pretended to be and was very surprised to learn that the little boy with the sword of grass was in fact Youko Kurama. Our fighting styles were compatible so we formed a partnership."
"Over time I began to feel a strong friendship with the stubborn fire demon. I learned all I could about his past, as horrible as it was, and respect him for all he has lived through. Then a couple of years ago, he asked me to help him steal three priceless artifacts from the Rekai. I-I.."
Kurama looked at Shiori hesitant.
Should I tell her about the Mirror?
No, I don't want her to worry.
"I agreed. But ruler of the Spirit world sent his new detective after us. I gave the treasure I had to the detective but Hiei and the third demon, Goki, resisted. Yusuke defeated them and.."
"Yusuke? Haven't I met him?"
"Oh, yes when you were sick he came over."
"Wait, he's a demon?"
"Half, but we didn't know that at the time."
"So now you are friends with him?"
"Yes, after Yusuke turned us in, Koenma, Yusuke's boss, decided that our punishment would be better served as Yusuke's Rekai Tantei team members. The three of us, along with a human psychic named Kuwabara, fought in different tournaments and solved different cases."
"Ah, so that is where you were. I had wondered."
"Okassan gomen.."
"Shh, I understand."
"Arigatou gozaimasu."
Kurama sighed heavily. He had told her nearly everything, but he did not know if he could tell her this. Admitting to being a demon was far easier than admitting you were leaving because of unrequited love.
"That is my past, but I have more to tell."
Shiori nodded. She needed to hear all that he needed to tell, though her heart already knew why it was he was so upset. A woman's intuition is very rarely wrong, even if your son was a Youko.
"I am leaving, I can't stay here any longer. It is not because of you, I will always love you. I just- I can't- It-I.."
Kurama ran a pale trembling hand through his crimson tresses and sighed again.
"What is wrong?"
A smirk..
"I can't stay here."
An insolent shrug..
"I am trapped here."
A hint of a smile revealing pointed fangs..
"I-I miss my old home."
Flame shaped ebon hair with a white starburst in the front..
"I can't do this any more."
White silk warding a glowing eye..
"It hurts to much to pretend that- that."
Deep eyes- blood red eyes- passionate, arrogant, innocent eyes..
Kurama's head fell into trembling hands, his flame colored hair falling like a silk screen to hide his tears. Shiori again comforted him with the warmth of her embrace and her heart. The kitsune sobbed uncontrollable, anguished, longing sobs.
"I-I can't stay here. I can't face hi-him anymore, it-it hurts to much."
"Why does it hurt, segare."
"Be-because I love him!"
"Shh, koishii. It is good that you love someone."
"No. No. I can't- I cannot love him. I cannot but I do. I love him so much okassan it.. I.. I love him!"
"Why can't you love him, Kurama?"
"Because it is forbidden. He is forbidden- the forbidden of his kind. He does not.. will never.. he will never fall in love. He will never-never love me."
Kurama's broken sobs, his heartbroken confession, tore at Shiori's own heart.
How could she fix this?
Kurama pulled away again, wiping slowly at the tear drawn paths that stained his flushed cheeks.
He had to leave.
It would not be long before the others began to worry.
He still had not played with them yet.
"Kurama you are my son. I do not care how you became my son; I still love you with all my heart. But this is something were you must stand-alone. You must either hide from love or fight for it. Whatever you choose- I will always love you as my son, Youko Kurama."
Shiori stood and walked to the door.
Kurama took a deep breath and walked to her side. Turning he looked deep into her eyes. Love shone clearly from their depths.
At that moment, it was he who felt like a child.
She was so strong. So young but so wise.
He knew why he loved her.
She was his mother.
Kurama kissed her cheek softly.
"Good bye, Shiori."
"It is never good bye, Kurama."
Kurama's eyes flashed golden and he smiled.
"I love you, my mother." "I love you as well, my son."
The kitsune opened the door and walked away from the human that meant so much to him.
Shiori watched him until he faded from view. She did not know if he would ever come back, but she would always stay. Raising a fragile hand to the graying sky, she whispered a soft prayer.
"Watch over him Forbidden One, he loves you when hope is none."
R/R pwease!!^^
TBC.
^_^
*cliffhanger! *
The next chapter will have more of Hiei's POV!!!