Disclaimer: Do not own Saiyuki.
Rated for: Minor Language, Character Cruelty
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Mirage Angel
Presenting
The Saiyuki Series of Short Stories
"Sharing the foursome's special moments like no one else."
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The Bad Driver Syndrome
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"Hakkai, you're a really bad driver, you know that?"
"Pardon me Gojyo?" said Hakkai with his usual superficial smile.
"I said, you are a reeely baaad driver. I mean, I can't even keep the count of how many bumps and hills we've run over this last minute. Not to mention all the daemons you keep hitting on the way, you have run over more that we have killed in this lifetime."
"Well, it does save time" chirped in Goku "just imagine how many more we would have to kill if it wasn't for Hakkai. Lets face it ya'll, I can take on a couple with my red stick, Gojyo can take on one or two if he really tries, and of course Sanzo can bash a few in the head "Goku put up his two hands imitating a shooting gun" if he's not too lazy to get of his ass, but the rest is all Hakkai's bad driving. Yup, that's what does the trick. That's what works the magic. That's what bakes the meat buns. The way he just hits them all head on and tramples them with the car, he's a pro. Actually Hakkai, I'd say you're so good that I bet you can manage it with your eyes closed."
It quieted down a bit. Gojyo sat thinking for a while, and for a while longer, then he took a short break, because cockroaches obviously have teeny tiny brains, so he didn't want his to overheat and explode all over the car since Hakkai washed it yesterday. So Gojyo sat there thinking from sunrise till sunset and finally came up with one simple and extremely Gojyo like phrase:
"Stupid basakaru! What do you mean I can take on one or two?"
Goku, having the Downs Syndrome, obviously didn't catch on the first time, became very anxious and confused and went through series of hot flashes, crazy outburst, and excessive sweating before he could comprehend the complex question asked by the pink water monster sitting across. Meanwhile, Gojyo sat there, with a 'What the fuck?' expression on his face feeling like that brain bursting procedure will soon become inevitable.
Seeing this, Hakkai silently handed the now hyperactive Gojyo a book at which he examined very closely and then read the title "You Are Not Alone". Somewhat understanding, he quickly listed to the page with the heading 'The Ultimate Reason for Hope and Ways to Get Help'. Flipping to the next page, he immediately fainted after seeing the enormous word "NONE" written across the whole page in big Extra Bold letters.
'Always works' thought both Hakkai and Sanzo to themselves 'never fails'.
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Other short stories are to follow. Reviews and thoughts on this piece will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
kisses,
Mirage