AN: Motivation pill: take one daily.
Disclaimer: CLAMP owns the house of Card Captor Sakura. I just sneak in to eat the food and jump on the bed.
The Tomoeda Arcana
Chapter One: The Fool
The watcher stood on stage, partially eclipsed by a cardboard moon. Choir students milled around him, a chaotic army dressed in little white capes and black berets. The watcher's gaze had settled on one particular choir student.
She stood in the middle of the stage, not at all upset or concerned that she had lost the competition. Her hair fell to her waist in an inky dark waterfall. Her head was tilted to the side as she devoted all of her attention to her companion, a girl whose short brown hair curled softly around her chin. The watcher's girl was smiling sweetly; her companion's attitude, however, was quite the opposite.
"I can't believe you didn't win, Tomoyo-chan," the watcher heard the other girl say. "You're a better singer than anyone here."
Tomoyo didn't agree with that. "There are many talented people here, Rika-chan. Some are even better than me." She reached out and touched Rika's arm, as if Rika was the one who lost the competition and needed reassurance. "I was delighted just to be able to compete."
"But for that judge," Rika said 'judge' in the same way others would say 'cockroach' or 'tax collector'. "For that judge to say that your voice lacked feeling." Rika took a deep breath and fought to keep her anger under control. She lost the fight. "He's an idiot. He's a complete, no-talent idiot." Rika's voice grew louder. "His ears are probably full of…" She paused while her mind searched for a suitably nasty word. "Cabbages," she came up with. "He's got cabbages in his ears. Stupid – "
"I didn't know you could fit an entire cabbage into someone's ear, Sasaki." Rika whirled around. Terada-sensei stood before the two girls.
Rika flushed pink and tried to pull her head completely into her jacket. "How much did you hear?" she asked in a small voice.
"Everything from 'idiot' onwards, but I think the whole auditorium heard the cabbages remark." Rika left pink and started to blush her way through the red spectrum.
Tomoyo came to her rescue. "Did you enjoy the competition, Terada-sensei?"
"Very much, Daidouji. Though I think you should have won; Sasaki's right, the judge is an idiot."
"I wouldn't say that I should have won," Tomoyo said modestly.
"I think I can find someone else to agree with me," Terada-sensei looked around the stage. He muttered to himself, "I asked him to meet me here after the show…"
"Who are you looking for sensei?" asked Rika curiously.
"Your classmate. I was talking with him before the competition started. I need to give his this week's homework."
"He?" inquired Rika. "Yamazaki-kun had to see his grandparents this weekend."
"No, not Yamazaki," said Terada-sensei vaguely.
"You can't mean Li-kun. He should be packing for his trip to Hong Kong," said Tomoyo.
"I hope he's finished packing by now, I heard he's flight to Hong Kong leaves at ten." Terada-sensei gave up his search for the missing student and turned back towards the girls.
Tomoyo was struck by what Terada-sensei had just said. "That's ten o'clock at night, right?"
"No, ten o'clock in the morning. This morning," said Terada-sensei.
Tomoyo stared at the clock near the stage exit. "But that's only an hour away."
"That's why I hope he's finished packing," chuckled Terada-sensei.
"Is there anything wrong, Tomoyo-chan?" said Rika, who had noted the dismay on her friend's face.
"I'm fine." Tomoyo drew out her mobile phone. "Please excuse me; I just have to make a phone call."
Tomoyo quickly stepped away from the bemused pair and hit the speed dial. She nervously fidgeted with her fingers as she pressed the phone to her ear. "Pick up, pick up the phone," she muttered, shifting her weight slightly from one foot to the other.
The watcher left the shadow of the moon and began to walk towards her.
"Sakura," Tomoyo said in relief when her friend answered. "It's me, Tomoyo."
The watcher was right beside Tomoyo as she launched straight into her reason for calling. "Terada-sensei came to the Chorus Competition…" she took a deep breath before rushing on, "and he told me something I think you should know! Li is leaving for Hong Kong on a ten o'clock flight."
She listened attentively to the phone, but then she finally decided that enough was enough. "Pull yourself together Sakura!" she said sternly. "You'll make it in time! You have your invincible spell." The last part was said with reassurance tinged with hope.
That apparently did the trick. Tomoyo was left holding a silent phone; she held it to her heart and smiled.
The watcher stepped in front of her and said, "She's right you know: she will be all right."
Tomoyo looked up and dropped the phone.
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Tomoyo gently clasped her phone. She hoped Sakura would reach Syaoran in time, that she'd be able to tell him how she really felt. Tomoyo smiled to herself; Sakura would make it, Sakura could do anything if she wanted to.
"She's right, you know: she will be all right."
The voice startled her. She looked up swiftly and there he was, silky black hair falling into kingfisher blue eyes. His glasses flashed in the spotlight, and Tomoyo had to blink away the dazzle. Hiiragizawa Eriol gave her one of his trademark smiles.
Tomoyo's hands lost their grip on her phone; it hit the floorboards and cracked into shards of plastic and LCD screen.
Eriol immediately dropped to the floor to pick up the pieces. Tomoyo, a slave to her polite personality, knelt down to help.
"Shouldn't you be in England?" Tomoyo could only ask. The news of Syaoran's imminent departure was enough shock for one day, Eriol's sudden reappearance was more than her nerves could handle.
"I just had to hear you sing," said Eriol smoothly.
Tomoyo frowned at a piece of keypad; if Eriol was trying to be charming then he was hiding something. He only ever gave a straight answer when he was gloating; explaining to the masses how they were pawns in some elaborate game he had masterminded.
They stood up in unison, Tomoyo held out her hand for the other phone pieces and Eriol gently dropped them into her palm.
They stared at each other for a heart beat. Tomoyo searched her mind for something to say. Her relationship with Eriol had never been one of easy and comfortable camaraderie. She was about to ask why he was really here when Terada-sensei appeared.
"There you are Hiiragizawa. I was beginning to think you'd try to avoid your homework assignments," said the teacher. He turned to Tomoyo and said, "At least one of your friends managed to make it, Daidouji."
Tomoyo opened her mouth to say that she and Eriol weren't really friends but Terada-sensei had already turned back to Eriol.
"Were you pleased with the result of the competition Hiiragizawa? Or do you believe that Daidouji was robbed of victory?"
"The judges obviously don't know what they're talking about, especially that last one. His ears must be clogged with something."
"I've heard cabbages."
"That would explain it."
Tomoyo allowed their conversation to flow around her. She was mentally rerunning everything Terada-sensei had said today. He had talked to a student before the competition; he had just heard that Li-kun would be leaving at ten...
Terada-sensei began to include Tomoyo in the conversation. "Hiiragizawa has decided to postpone his transfer back to England. He'll be attending school tomorrow."
Tomoyo nodded politely; her mind was busy putting pieces into place, making connections.
Terada-sensei looked at his watch and said, "It's a good thing you're here, Daidouji. I have to be in a staff meeting right now so I won't be able to give Hiiragizawa his homework assignments. Would you be able to bring him up to speed?" She nodded again.
"Now that that's sorted, I better go. See you in class tomorrow," Terada-sensei walked off. Tomoyo noticed that her fellow choir students had disappeared; she and Eriol were all alone on the stage.
Tomoyo stared at Eriol. "You talked to Terada-sensei before the competition?" She knew what the answer would be.
"We spoke briefly; yes." He had plastered that all-knowing smile across his face.
"And during that time you told him that Li-kun's flight was at ten o'clock?"
"It may have come up in conversation." She bet it did.
"How did you know when Li was leaving?" Tomoyo demanded. She held up a hand. "Don't bother to answer that, it probably involves magic." She changed tack. "Why did you wait until practically the last minute for someone to tell me? Why didn't you tell me before the competition? Why didn't you tell Sakura yourself?"
"I didn't think Sakura would be interested in Syaoran's comings and goings."
Tomoyo stepped towards him, till they were face to face. "Liar," she accused. "You know exactly how much he means to Sakura, how much she means to him, how much they mean to each other." She reached out and grabbed his collar. "Why did you not tell you tell her?"
Eriol's smile never faltered. "I wanted to see, Daidouji-san, if you would be able to tell her."
Tomoyo let go of his collar and took a step back. "Me?" Tomoyo was incredulous. "You wanted to see if I would tell her? This was some sort of test?"
Eriol shrugged.
Tomoyo slapped him.
She slapped that silly smirk right of his face.
"How dare you assume that I would jeopardize Sakura's happiness, that I would put my wishes before her wishes!" she shouted. "She will be completely heartbroken if she doesn't reach him in time, Hiiragizawa! HOW DARE YOU RISK THAT!" She regarded him with fury in her eyes. She turned on her heel and stalked off the stage.
She had almost left the stage when Eriol called out, "She gave him the bear. He named it Sakura."
Tomoyo stopped as his words hit her. She felt a spark of complete joy, but it was extinguished by the sullen rage that erupted at the thought that Eriol had endangered Sakura's happy ending.
She kept on walking.
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Tomoyo allowed her bodyguards to shepherd her through the front door. They fanned out and checked all the connecting rooms, mumbling into their wrists as they went. Only when they nodded to her that everything was okay and had left her alone in the entrance did Tomoyo relax.
She seethed at Eriol as she slipped off her shoes and hung up her coat. His meddling could have easily resulted in two hearts divided not only by distance but also by things left unsaid. She winced as she grasped her beret and pulled it off; broken pieces of mobile phone had cut into her palm when she clenched her fists as she was yelling at Eriol.
A part of her felt guilty for striking him. No matter what she felt she had no right to hurt another person. But his actions could have hurt Sakura…
Tomoyo walked into the sitting room and all thoughts of Eriol's interference in Sakura's happiness fled to the back of her mind.
Her mother sat on one of the armchairs, her elbow resting on the armrest, her hand cupping her chin. Sonomi Daidouji stared vacantly through the bay window, apparently not seeing the landscaped garden that basked in the midday sun. She glanced toward the doorway when she heard Tomoyo pad into the room.
"This came for you today." Sonomi gestured towards the coffee table at her feet. On the polished mahogany surface, as far from Sonomi as was possible without being on the floor, was a package wrapped in plain brown paper and tied with string.
"For me?" Tomoyo wondered, "Who is it from?" She reached for the parcel.
Sonomi turned back to the window. "Your father." Her voice gave away nothing.
Tomoyo's hand stalled, she flicked a look at her mother. Sonomi was a marble statue: she was as still as a statue, as stiff as a statue and as emotional as a statue.
Sonomi never spoke about Tomoyo's father. When asked, all she would ever say was that he had given her a name and he had given her a child but he had taken much in exchange. She would then change the subject. Tomoyo had long given up trying to extract any information from the memory vault of Sonomi. Tomoyo didn't even know her father's first name.
Tomoyo picked up the parcel; she had never received a gift from her father before. For an object that was the cause of so much tension it was surprisingly light. Tomoyo sat down on the other armchair and carefully picked away at the knot. Sonomi watched all of Tomoyo's movements from the corner of her eye.
Once the paper was peeled back, it revealed a wooden box. It was the size and shape of a jewelry box, the top edges were beveled slightly and it was hinged on one of the longer sides. For some reason it reminded Tomoyo of the Clow Book.
"Is there anything inside?" Sonomi demanded.
Tomoyo opened the box. "No. Nothing."
"Not even a note? A card?" Maybe it was her imagination, but Tomoyo thought there was a note of panic in her mother's voice.
Tomoyo flicked through the wrapping, making sure she didn't drop anything. "No, there's just the box." Tomoyo was a bit disappointed; a simple box was paltry against all her father's years of inattention.
Sonomi sat there for a moment, her fingernails lightly scratching at the chair's upholstery. She stood up. "I have some calls to make," she said as she swept out of the room.
Tomoyo carefully folded the wrapping paper and placed it to on the table. She idly twined the string around her fingers as she stared at the box in her lap. A shadow of herself was reflected in the glossy surface. She traced a finger along an edge; it was just a simple box.
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The setting sun dyed the walls of the Hiiragizawa mansion a rich orange. The evening breeze waltzed amongst the dozens of blossoms that enriched the home's gardens. Perched in the elegant fruit trees, birds sang to the closing of the day.
But inside the Hiiragizawa mansion it was all dimness and gloom and depression.
Eriol was brooding in his armchair, the high-backed one that looked as if it belonged to a judge or some theater critic.
Spinel was on the window ledge, listlessly reading a book.
Nakuru was sprawled on the staircase, asleep, with a bit of drool oozing from the corner of his mouth.
Spinel stretched his butterfly wings and examined Eriol. "You had a pleasant time at the concert today?"
"It was a chorus competition, not a concert."
"But singing was involved, yes?"
Eriol nodded.
"Ruby Moon says Daidouji-san has a wonderful voice."
"It can be pleasant to listen to." Even when it was raised in anger, Eriol couldn't help but think.
The conversation stalled.
"It didn't go well, did it?" stated Spinel.
Eriol tucked his hands under his chin. "It could have gone better."
"What went wrong, Master?" said Spinel as he fluttered over.
"She did." Eriol unconsciously rubbed his cheek.
Spinel sighed. "If I remember, I did advise you not to take this… approach."
"I had to be sure, Spinel. Sure that Daidouji had given up any hopes she had for Sakura."
"And it would have made your job so much easier." Eriol started to protest but Spinel stopped him with a raised paw. "You thought that Daidouji would be so brokenhearted over Sakura that she'd be easy to manipulate. All you'd have to do is just step in and provide a shoulder to cry on and instant friendship." Spinel butted his head against Eriol's shoulder. "But trust has to be earned, Eriol-sama. Your 'test' caused her to lose faith in you. It will not be so easy to earn back Daidouji's confidence."
"How am I suppose to help her then? Something is out to get her and apparently I'm the only one who can stop it. Why does she have to be so difficult? Sakura was never like this. Sakura trusted me from the start."
"You and Sakura-san have a special affinity, you share a bond of magic. Sakura couldn't help but respond to you. And it helped that you are the soul-twin of her father." Eriol smiled at that.
Spinel continued, "Daidouji-san has no magic, she can only rely on what her heart and mind tell her."
Eriol curled his finger around Spinel's tail.
Spinel placed a paw on Eriol's chin. "Do you regret your decision to stay?"
Eriol's thoughts raced back to yesterday morning, to the last possible moment that he could have backed out of this predicament, but didn't.
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The airport lounge was predictably packed. Businessmen lounged in the courtesy seats, leafing through newspapers. Tourists sorted through their numerous bags, double-checking their documents, cameras and itineraries.
Eriol's eyes were drawn to the observation window: a family, a mother and father with two children, were saying their goodbyes. The father carried a toddler in his arms while the other child, a girl about five or six, had wrapped her arms completely around her mother's legs. Eriol's smile was bittersweet at the scene; he wondered what it would be like to be apart of a family. Sure, Clow Read had had a family, parents and numerous aunts, uncles and cousins on both sides. But he, Hiiragizawa Eriol had no such people; in this life he was alone.
"This is so boring. What's taking them so long? They said they would be boarding in five minutes, and that was fifteen minutes ago." Nakuru whined and danced around.
Okay, maybe not all alone.
"There's no rush, Nakuru. We don't have to be anywhere else," said Eriol calmly.
Nakuru huffed in disappointment. In an effort to match his clothes with the location, he had dressed himself like a stewardess – or weren't they called airline attendants now. But Nakuru had to give his own slant to the uniform. The result was an outfit made of sky blue material that was printed with white clouds, with plenty of shiny butterfly-shaped buttons, a skirt that was too short and heels that were too high. A pilot's hat completed the ensemble.
Spinel was currently curled up asleep on top of said hat. He would have normally traveled in a handbag, but Nakuru was adamant that 'stewardesses do not carry handbags'. Spinel was just as adamant about 'not staying at home while a certain idiot gets Eriol-sama into trouble'. Eriol had been forced to cast an attention redirection spell, just so everyone could be happy and they could get to the airport on time. He only wished that the spell worked on him, so that he wouldn't have to listen to Spinel's snoring or Nakuru's whining.
"We do have to be somewhere else," Nakuru whinged. "We have to be with To-ya." He hugged Eriol from behind and said brightly, "He will be so happy when we tell him that we're staying; that his little Kuruu-chan would never leave him." Nakuru reverted back to sulk mode. "Mizuki-sensei can get on the plane by herself." He looked over Eriol's shoulder. "Can't you Mizuki-sensei?"
"We're staying, Nakuru," Eriol said finally.
"It's not like she can get lost from here to the plane," Nakuru exploded. "It's barely fifty meters."
"Nakuru," Eriol warned.
"There's signs and stuff. She can read, can't she?"
"That's enough, Nakuru."
"Aww." Nakuru gave up and flounced off to annoy a group of backpackers, from their voices a group of male backpackers. Spinel swayed a bit on top of Nakuru's head but miraculously managed to stay on.
Eriol turned back to Kaho. "Sorry about that. When I made them I think Spinel got Nakuru's share of patience."
"I understand," Kaho smiled reassuringly. "I'm a teacher, I deal with students like Akizuki all the time."
Kaho reached out and enveloped Eriol in a hug. The noise of the waiting lounge clattered around them, but between them there was only silence.
"I really wish you could stay," said Eriol wistfully.
"I really wish you would come with me. You can still change your mind. You could enchant the attendants into giving you a seat, get us upgraded to first class. Akizuki can take a later flight."
Eriol seriously considered what Kaho was suggesting, though he frowned slightly at Kaho's casual attitude to the misuse of magic. It would be so easy to hop on a flight to London and forget about Daidouji Tomoyo. But his sense of duty kicked that thought to the side.
"It's important that I stay in Tomoeda."
"And I have to get back to my studies." Kaho placed a finger under Eriol's chin and tilted his head upwards. "You're doing a good thing here, Eriol. Few people would give up so much for someone who meant so little to them."
Eriol nodded and slipped from her embrace.
"You'll probably join me in England within the week anyway. Dreams can often give false or misleading information, and you're not able to see the future anymore." Eriol mentally flinched. He hadn't lied to Kaho about where this sudden requirement to help Daidouji had come from; Kaho just assumed that he received the information in a prophetic vision and he didn't tell her otherwise. He preferred to keep Nadeshiko's visits private.
Kaho continued, unaware of Eriol's uneasiness, "I find it hard to believe that anyone would be interested in Daidouji Tomoyo, she has no magic at all."
"That's what I think."
"See, it will probably turn out to be nothing. And then you can join me in England, and we can start our life together." Kaho went all starry-eyed. "Imagine Eriol, the two of us studying magic…"
Eriol tuned out. He hated it when Kaho thought this way; devoting yet another lifetime to magic made him shudder. He wished that she would one day see that what he wanted was a normal life, one that didn't revolve around magic.
Kaho was still prattling on, "We'll rediscover the forgotten knowledge of the ancient seers. We'll gain immense power–" She was mercifully cut short by the intercom.
"Would all passengers for flight BA891 to London please make their way to Gate 62. Thank you," blared the speaker.
Nakuru jumped from seemingly nowhere and landed between Eriol and Kaho. "Can we go now?" he pointedly asked Eriol
"I better get in line," Kaho said tactfully.
Nakuru flapped his hand over his shoulder. "Bye-bye." Spinel, still asleep on Nakuru's hat, twitched his tail in what could have been wave.
Eriol stepped around the pair of them. "Safe trip, Kaho."
"I'll see you soon." Kaho walked towards the line, she looked back and added, "In London." Eriol waved.
"Now can we go?" Nakuru didn't hold much hope that he'd get the answer that he was fishing for.
"We have to watch the plane take off."
"What? Awww." Nakuru trudged towards the window. Eriol noticed that the backpackers Nakuru had been just annoying were at the front of the queue, fighting to be the first on the plane. Once Kaho had disappeared through the glass doors Eriol went and joined his guardians.
The plane was a hunched white monstrosity on the tarmac; Eriol didn't approve. Things of the air should reflect their element and be all graceful lines and liquid form; like his guardians.
He imagined that he could see Kaho waving from one of the windows, the one just under the A.
Eriol was aware that someone had stepped beside him. "Don't be sad," that person whispered, "you're mum will be home soon."
On his other side, Nakuru's shoulders started shaking with suppressed chuckles, and Spinel's last snore sounded suspiciously like a snort.
Eriol raised his hand in preparation to throw a fireball down the whisperer's throat. He turned to the side and found, staring up at him, a little girl. She was the same girl whose family he had been admiring minutes before.
"I miss my mum already too," the girl said sadly.
Eriol's sudden anger crumpled. He flicked his raised hand; instead of a raging ball of fire he conjured up a small toy sheep. The girl gave a small gasp of delight at this display.
"You miss her because you love her. I'm sure she misses you just as much," Eriol said as he handed her the sheep; her small hands gently clasped the soft fleece.
They stood side by side and watched the plane prepare to depart.
"I have to go now," she suddenly said and trotted off towards her father and brother.
Eriol watched the plane pull away, taking Kaho with it.
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Once they had arrived home from the airport Eriol had ordered Nakuru and Spinel not to leave the mansion. Nakuru had whined and begged and finally, when he realized Eriol would not be swayed, sulked on the stairs, hampering anybody who wanted to go up or down. It was easy for Spinel who could simply fly over Nakuru, but Eriol had to clamber over, with much kicking and cursing and uttering of threats.
That had been yesterday; Nakuru hadn't moved from the stairs since.
"Well, Eriol-sama, do you regret your decision to stay?" Spinel was still waiting for an answer.
"Sometimes," he said honestly. He stroked the back of Spinel's neck. "But with you and Nakuru with me, I can bear the regret."
"I'm more inclined to think that the cross dresser would add to your burden," Spinel said wryly.
They heard a sneeze in the hallway. Suddenly a strident voice demanded, "And why couldn't I go to the concert today? To-ya could have taken me. That's another day without seeing To-ya, another day WASTED!" Nakuru had gone from sleep to verbal assault in a heartbeat.
"Maybe we could send him to England?" said a hopeful Spinel. "Or perhaps Mars?"
Eriol flicked Spinel's ears.
Nakuru was still shouting on the stairs. "I suppose I have to stay here tomorrow as well! NO SCHOOL FOR NAKURU, NO TO-YA FOR NAKURU, NO FUN FOR NAKURU!"
"School," Eriol said softly. Spinel cocked his head in a query.
"Homework," he replied, and smiled sheepishly.
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The television monitor flickered ghost light across the room. Tomoyo sat tucked up in one corner of her couch, her legs curled up underneath her. She pressed the cordless phone to her ear and hoped that this time (it must be the twentieth) Sakura would pick up the phone. Tomoyo held her breath as the machine played the number down the line.
"Sorry, the number you have dialed is either switched off or not in service. Please try again later."
Tomoyo sighed. She placed the handset on the table beside her, on top of her notebooks and next to her new wooden box. Sakura's personal mobile, the mobile that Tomoyo had given her, had been playing that message for the past two hours. The Kinomoto phone had yielded a busy signal. Between dialings, Tomoyo had spent her time doing her homework and watching videos.
The video on at the moment featured Sakura capturing the Watery Card. Sakura sped down the corridor towards the camera, pursued by a jet of water.
"This is boring! Isn't there anything else on?"
Tomoyo's head snapped to the side. Curled up on the other end of the couch was a man. His black hair had been tied back but a few strands had escaped and now lay across his forehead. Rimless glasses shielded his cobalt blue eyes.
"Clow Reed?" Tomoyo was stunned.
"Kind of," the visitor winked, "but not quite." He had somehow managed to obtain a bag of popcorn, which he offered to Tomoyo. Tomoyo declined with a shake of her head. Not Quite Clow shrugged, lobbed some popcorn into the air, tossed his head back and caught it in his mouth.
Now that she had time for a second impression she could tell that this person was not Clow Reed; he wasn't dressed like Clow Reed. The person beside her was wearing a Joker costume. The costume was all silver and blue, the same shade of blue as his eyes. It had that three pointed hat that Jokers wore, complete with tiny silver bells on the ends. His shoes, in mismatched colours, were curled up at the toes and had additional bells on the tips. His tightly fitted jacket had sleeves that draped all the way to the floor, weighed down with yet more bells. Finally he wore some balloon shorts that ended mid-thigh, the rest of his legs were encased in checked stockings. Sakura would often complain about the outfits that Tomoyo would force her into but at least none of them were as bad as this. The man look ridiculous, and Clow would have never have allowed himself to look ridiculous.
Joker Clow continued wolfing down his popcorn. "Can't we at least watch it in fast-forward? That always makes things interesting."
On screen, Sakura ducked and weaved around the water apparition.
"Watch out little girl!" Joker Clow yelled while pointing at the screen. He laughed manically as Sakura was thrown to the side by a wall of water.
"Ha ha ha. Ho ho ho." He collapsed back onto the sofa. "That was so funny. Rewind, I want to see that again."
Tomoyo remained silent; he seemed quite capable of holding a conversation on his own.
"That flying yellow bear is so annoying." Joker Clow threw a cushion at a posturing Kero. "Smack him, little girl. Use your fancy stick and smack him good. Come on. Smack him." When he realized that Sakura was going to do no such thing he muttered, "Stupid little girl." Joker Clow calmed down enough to ask, "Who is that girl anyway?"
"My friend."
"Well I'm sick of her." He gestured to the shelves of tapes along the wall. "Put something else on. Something without the wand waving wacko." He stood up and yelled at the TV. "Not even smart enough to whack an annoying flying bear upside the head. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" He sat down on, crossed his legs and delicately arranged his balloon shorts. He faced Tomoyo. "I would now like to watch something else, please."
"I'm sorry, but they all feature Sakura-chan."
"What? All of them?" He leapt towards the shelves and started pacing in front of them, arms spinning. "There must be a hundred tapes here, they can't all be of the same thing. Who taped all this anyway?"
"I did."
He stopped. He looked at Tomoyo, then at the tapes, then back at Tomoyo. He pointing both fingers at her, he said bluntly, "You are so weird."
"There's nothing weird about taping your friends," she replied softly.
"Yes there is." Joker Clow threw out his arms and fell backwards onto the couch, his head landing on Tomoyo's leg. He turned towards the screen and sighed, "Guess we're stuck with this then." The monitor showed Sakura arguing with Kero-chan.
When it became obvious that Joker Clow would not be shifting anytime soon, Tomoyo reached for the phone in another attempt to contact Sakura. First she'd ask Sakura how she was feeling, and offer support and guidance: she must be very despondent about Syaoran's absence. When she had managed to cheer Sakura up, then, and only then, would Tomoyo tell her that a crazy version of Clow Reed had crashed on her couch.
She became aware that Joker Clow was talking to her. "If you taped this, then you were actually there when all that happened, right?" He gestured to the television.
"Yes." The same recorded-message as before played in her ear again.
"But how come you're never on film?"
"Because I'm the one doing the taping," Tomoyo said obviously.
"You could get one of the others to hold the camera." Joker Clow was insistent. "That flying fur-ball for instance, he doesn't seem to be doing anything useful anyway."
"But the video isn't about me, it's about Sakura-chan." Tomoyo allowed the hand holding the phone to drop to her side; she looked down at Joker Clow.
Joker Clow twisted his face upwards. "It's always about Sakura-chan," he said and rolled his eyes.
Tomoyo couldn't disagree. He was right, Sakura was the star; Tomoyo was just a satellite that orbited her, hungry for her light. But it wasn't like that now, Sakura didn't shine for Tomoyo anymore, she shone for Syaoran. She hadn't even called Tomoyo to tell her how everything had turned out.
They lapsed into silence. For a moment Tomoyo thought he might have fallen asleep.
"You don't have much of a life Tomoyo," he stated suddenly.
Tomoyo thought about that. Most people would say that she had a wonderful life: she was the heir to a fabulous fortune, she could buy whatever she wanted whenever she wanted, her mother allowed her to go anywhere, whether it be down the street or across the ocean; she had a life people only dreamed of. "I do have a life," she answered, "I have family and friends who love me very much, a happy and safe home, I do well in school, I have many hobbies and extracurricular activities–"
"Yes, yes," he interrupted. "You have all the trapping of life, the material things, the relationships, the activities." He sat up and twisted till he was facing her again. "But do you actually experience them, Tomoyo?" He brought his face close to hers, the silver bells chiming an accompaniment. " Do you live them?"
"Of course I do," she said defensively; for such small bells they seemed to make so much noise.
"Why do you videotape things in the first place?" he said, seemingly going off in a different direction.
That was easy, she was often asked this question. "So I have something to remember the moment by."
"But while you're taping the moment you're not experiencing it. You're too busy making sure you get everything in shot, that it's in focus, that the stupid lens cap is off. You're too busy focusing on the subject, not on yourself." He smirked in triumph. "I bet you can't even remember how you felt when you were filming that," and pointed towards the television.
"I…"
"You can't remember what you felt because you weren't feeling anything at all; you were too busy filming Sakura, watching Sakura."
Tomoyo tried to answer, but the bells were so loud, she couldn't hear herself think.
"Look at that, Tomoyo." She followed the line of his arm to an image of Sakura smiling at the camera. "It's of Sakura, every tape is of Sakura. You have Sakura's entire life on video. But where's your life Tomoyo? Is this your life?" His gesture encompassed the whole room, taking in the television, her video camera and the shelves of tapes. "Is Sakura's life your life?"
Tomoyo shut her eyes and tried to block out Joker Clow's mocking face, but she couldn't avoid the mocking tones of his voice, or those bells.
He placed his mouth close to her ear and hissed, "You have to borrow a life, Tomoyo, because you don't have one."
The phone rang. Out of pure reflex, Tomoyo's finger pressed the answer button.
"Sakura?" she pleaded.
"No, Daidouji-san," said the voice on the other end of the line. "It's me, Hiiragizawa,"
Something cracked in Tomoyo, she pushed it to the side.
Eriol continued, "I forgot to get our homework for tomorrow. Would you be able to tell me what we have to do?"
"Oh, of course." Tomoyo rummaged through the pile of notebooks on the desk. "Um, read chapters twenty-one and twenty-two for History, the problems at the back of chapter thirteen for math, the problems at the back of chapter thirty-seven for grammar, and review all the science stuff because we may or may not have a test."
"That's it?"
"Yes." She wished he would get off the line; Sakura might be trying to call right now.
"Is everything okay, Daidouji-san?"
"Yes, I'm fine, just a bit tired I guess."
"I better let you get some rest then."
"Yes, thank you." Tomoyo hit the disconnect button and placed the phone on the table.
She looked at the other end of the couch; her mysterious visitor was nowhere to be seen and in his place lay a piece of paper. Tomoyo reached out and picked it up; it looked to her like a Clow –Sakura now, really– card. It was the same long rectangular shape, but instead of the sun and moon seal on the back it was a cloudy white, like a fog filled glass. If she stared at it for long enough, it appeared as if the clouds were moving. And the border, well it seemed as if the card didn't have a border at all, as if it didn't have any edges. The card just bled into the air, like a cube of sugar dissolved into water.
Tomoyo turned it over and found her visitor staring up at her. He still looked exactly like Clow Read and he wore the same silly jester costume; he had a goofy grin on his face as he blithely stepped off a cliff. Tomoyo's eyes traveled down the length of the card; at the very bottom, stamped in silver, was written The Fool.
On impulse, Tomoyo picked up the box her father had given her and opened it on her lap. She placed the Fool Card inside.
It fit perfectly.
AN: Just two things I'd like to mention.
Nakuru: Whenever the narrative focuses on Eriol Nakuru will be referred to as a he, because that's how Eriol sees him. When the narrative shifts back to Tomoyo Nakuru will be referred to as a she, because that's how Tomoyo sees her. Confused? The line starts behind me. I guess I could go all Broderick and start using sem, ser and se but I think the additional set of pronouns would cause the computer to explode.
Kaho: No, her plane did not crash in the Himalayas forcing her to shack up with the local yeti population. Nor is she doing time in a Singapore prison on charges of smuggling counterfeit Pokemon merchandise. She's safely in London studying whatever it is she's studying. That should reassure the Kaho fans out there, all nine of ya.