Disclaimer: Insert standard disclaimer here.
The Tomoeda Arcana
Chapter Five: The Devil & Temperance
The street was quiet in front of the Hiiragizawa mansion; there wasn't even a breeze to rattle the leaves and blossoms. You would have thought it was a ghost town had there not been two people standing on the footpath. Nakuru was a bundle of nervous energy, continuously glancing from Spinel, who was lodged in Nakuru's handbag, then to Eriol, then to the suitcases and then down the street.
"I'm sure I packed everything," muttered Nakuru. "Did I forget anything, Suppi-chan?"
"How would I know if you forgot anything," said Spinel. "And don't call me Suppi-chan," he said blankly. His heart wasn't up to the usual bickering with Nakuru. Both of the guardians turned uneasy eyes towards their master.
Eriol stood a few paces away, stance completely straight, staring so intently at the mailbox across the road that the paint had started to blister. Eriol had been up the whole night, using magic to purchase tickets on such short notice. He hadn't even blinked when Nakuru, saying that he had packed all of Eriol's good clothes, had handed him a novelty t-shirt. Eriol knew passive-aggressiveness when he saw it but he was so impatient to leave that he let it slide. He now stood on the footpath, waiting for the taxi, melting a mailbox while wearing a t-shirt that had been printed with a smiley cow. Nakuru and Spinel would be laughing if they weren't so nervous.
The group exploded into action when a taxi rumbled up. Eriol wrenched open the door and hopped into the back seat; Nakuru and the driver could deal with the suitcases. Finally he was on his way.
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
Tomoyo had fled her house. She needed to get away from all the silence and stillness, which was starting to find its way into her throat and suffocate her. The garden had been just as bad: it was no longer a haven of colour and life, all she saw now was blooms that would soon wither and rot.
She had instinctively decided that she had to get away and the further from her house the better. She was half way to Sakura's place when she realised that there would be no one there, just another empty house with empty spaces. Instead, she made her way to the market district. There would be plenty of people there; they would chase the silence away.
She turned a corner and came face to face with a parade. Tomoyo brightened, a parade would surely banish all thoughts of gloom and darkness. She eagerly plunged into the crowd.
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
Eriol jerked forward in his seatbelt as the taxi ground to a stop. He tapped the driver's shoulder.
"Why have we stopped?" said Eriol.
The driver waved a hand at the road in front. "Parade," he grunted, "but don't worry, I'll get you to the airport in time."
"Tanabata," squealed Nakuru and placed his handbag against the window so that Spinel could see as well. "Could we go, Eriol-sama? We've never been –" Nakuru's train of excitement was derailed by Eriol's stony stare. Nakuru went back to staring out the window, but more quietly this time.
Eriol slumped back into his seat. He debated with himself if he should magic them to the other side of this traffic jam, but then the driver would surely notice and Eriol would have to alter his memory, something that was loaded with danger. No, it would be easier to wait this parade out.
He suddenly gripped the armrest as a dagger of ice stabbed down his spine. So Daidouji was encountering another visitor. He pushed the pain and all thoughts of Daidouji from his mind; she could fight her own battles.
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
Tomoyo wandered through the crowd, the multi-coloured streamers and lanterns whirling overhead, the pounding drumbeats echoing all around. People were smiling and laughing all around her.
Tomoyo had been mistaken; the parade hadn't chased the loneliness away. It had made it worse. Though people swirled about her she still felt alone. She was like an island, adrift in a sea of noise and colour and happiness.
She aimlessly picked her way between the back of the crowd and the line of stores. She gracefully sidestepped a mother with screaming triplets when the door to the shop in front of her slammed open and out burst two people. Both were wearing giant animal costumes and both were stuffing themselves with jam doughnuts.
"Oooh, this is so yummy," said the one dressed like a red fox, pointy ears perked up demonically and bushy tail lashing from side to side.
"Mmmm mmm," mumbled her companion, who was dressed like a white rabbit, the long ears swaying back and forth as he moved his head.
For all their get up, Tomoyo recognised them immediately. "Akizuki-san, Tsukishiro-san," she greeted. Tomoyo seized the six-foot tall rabbit. "Did the excavation finished early? Is that why you're back so soon? Is Sakura-chan here as well?"
At the sound of Tomoyo's voice the animals paused in their scoffing of jam doughnuts. As one they swivelled their eyes to Tomoyo and stretched grins across their faces. Practically mirror images they gulped down the last of their doughnuts and grabbed one of Tomoyo's arms.
"Of course Sakura's here," said the fox on her left as she pulled Tomoyo down the street.
"Let's see if we can find her," said the rabbit, with a firm grip on her right arm.
As their glove covered paws got tighter and tighter, Tomoyo realised that she had made a mistake.
"Not again," wailed Tomoyo. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" She tried to wrench herself from their grasp.
"Nah ah ah," the rabbit playfully scolded. Tomoyo tried to drag her heels but was relentlessly dragged along. "We have to find Sakura."
They had been travelling at a quick walk/slow jog before, but now they started running. Tomoyo shut her eyes: surely they were about to crash into that group of high schoolers up ahead. When the crash didn't come Tomoyo opened her eyes and was greeted by the surreal experience of running straight through all the bystanders. The people all around her started to fade, as if all the colours had been leeched out of them, leaving only pencil outlines. Soon, they had vanished all together and the trio were pelting down an empty street.
"There she is," shouted the fox. Up ahead was a figure, running just as hard as Tomoyo and her companions. Her short auburn hair swished with every step. Her black turtleneck was something to focus on against the pastel streets of Tomoeda. She ran awkwardly due to the stuffed bear that was lodged under her arm. Tomoyo would have recognised that girl anywhere.
It was Sakura.
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
The icy dagger that had embedded itself in Eriol's spine had now sprouted tendrils that snaked their way up into his brain. He tried to massage the pain away, but it was no use.
"You're not going to get carsick, are you?" the driver asked nervously.
"No, it's nothing," said Eriol. He was right: it was nothing. Daidouji Tomoyo was nothing. He should be able to ignore the pounding in his head; it would be gone soon.
"Eriol-sama," said Nakuru, "maybe we should go back to the house."
"I said it was nothing. I'm fine."
"But what about Daidouji-san," Spinel muttered from his hiding place, thinking Eriol couldn't hear him.
Eriol bit his lip as a wave of pain swept over him. Tomoyo would be fine. Those shadowy forces hadn't actually hurt her. Yet, he corrected, they hadn't hurt her yet. And though they hadn't hurt her physically, emotionally they had done a lot of damage and Eriol knew that wounds to the metaphorical heart were just as deadly as wounds to the actual one.
"Eriol, where are you going!" cried Nakuru as his master wrenched open the door and exploded out of the taxi. Nakuru scrambled across the back seat and stuck his head out. "Eriol," he shouted as Eriol weaved around the parked cars and headed towards the parade.
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
"Quickly, Tomoyo," shouted Nakuru-Fox as the trio pursued Sakura down the street. "If we catch her we can stop her telling Syaoran that she loves him. Then we can have her for ourselves."
"We don't want to stop Sakura-chan," yelled Yukito-Rabbit. "We want to help her achieve happiness. Her happiness will be our happiness and we will be happy too."
"NO!" Nakuru-Fox accelerated, dragging the others with her. "Sakura will forget all about us. We will be all alone, in an empty house, with no friends or family. Sakura's happiness is not enough, we want our own happiness now."
"We must not be selfish. If the price of happiness is someone else's, then the price is too high."
"Sakura is all we have. For our sake, we will not let her go."
"Sakura is all we love. For her sake, we must let her go."
The rabbit and the fox seemed to be running too slowly for Tomoyo: she was now a step in front of them, dragging them behind her. The animals suddenly let go and Tomoyo shot forward. She pelted after the figure that was running after the bus.
"Sakura…" Tomoyo gasped.
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
"Daidouji," muttered Eriol, as he scanned the crowd. She was here, somewhere; he could feel it; the tiny black sun on the hem of her clothes beckoned him on.
Overhead, the lanterns danced like giant squid, the multicoloured tentacles swirling as they paraded down the street. The people seemed to crowd around him, blocking his path and swamping his senses. The drums pounded in his ears, the parade floats swirled in front of his eyes. He had no idea where he was, where he'd been or where he was going. All he knew was that the ache in his mind was getting stronger and that Tomoyo was somewhere up ahead.
He left the crowd and stepped into the parade.
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
Tomoyo ran after Sakura. She didn't know if the Nakuru-fox and Yukito-rabbit were still behind her and she didn't care. The only thing that mattered was the person in front. A person that no matter how hard or how fast Tomoyo ran was always out of reach.
A sharp stitch stabbed her side but Tomoyo ignored it. A part of her knew that she couldn't keep this pace up for long. She had never been athletic, never did well at sports. Her mother was the athlete, her mother could run like the wind, and apparently so could Sakura.
Ahead, Sakura was closing in on the bus. She had managed to run along side and was now reaching up to the window.
"Wait," gasped Tomoyo. She didn't know to whom that was directed. Did she want Sakura to wait for her or was Tomoyo supposed to wait for this whole exchange to be over. Her brain didn't seem to be functioning; her head was full of pounding blood, keeping time with her pounding feet.
Suddenly, miraculously, Sakura stopped, right in the middle of the road. It was too quick for Tomoyo to react; she couldn't slow down or even swerve. Instead she ran straight into Sakura.
And passed right through.
The shock was enough to slow Tomoyo to a halt. She couldn't do anything to slow her heartbeat though. She swung to face her friend. Sakura was staring straight through her, gazing dreamily at the diminishing bus. Sakura said something to herself, her lips forming words that Tomoyo couldn't hear but could understand all the same.
"Syaoran is the one I love the most."
Tomoyo's world exploded.
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
Eriol weaved his way through the parade. He vaulted on top of one of the floats and sidled his way around the edge, sweeping streamers away from his face while trying to keep his balance. He made his way to the very front. The float lumbered along like an elephant, just as heavy and just as unstoppable.
As he peered at the front of the parade, Eriol knew he was on the right track. Tomoyo was getting closer with every second. It felt as if she was right here beside him.
His eyes dropped to the front of the float, where dancers twirled and flashed their fans. The pain in his head had been getting stronger when suddenly it vanished. He winced and that was when he saw her. A second ago that space had contained nothing but discarded wish papers, now Daidouji Tomoyo stood there, popping in from out of nowhere.
And she was about to be crushed by the float.
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
Her world exploded. It exploded in a burst of noise and colour. She couldn't process, let alone respond, to all this information. She could only stand dumbly as a tower of lanterns and bells slowly bore down on her.
Suddenly she was wrenched upwards to come face to face with a goofy looking cow. She jerked back in shock but then realised that it was only a picture, a picture printed on a t-shirt. She looked up to see who had saved her.
Him.
"Get away from me," Tomoyo said as she backed away from Eriol. "I told you to stop it. I told you to leave me alone."
They were standing on top of the parade float, being marched down the street like local heroes. Streamers started to tangle in her hair and twine around her arms.
"Daidouji, I'm not the one who's doing this." He reached out to her and she flinched. He slowly drew his hand back. "I only want to help."
"I don't want your help. I don't need your help," she yelled. "I only want this to stop." She pivoted and leapt lightly off the float. She dove into the crowd and let it swallow her.
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
Eriol was helpless to stop her from leaving. The mental dagger, his search for Tomoyo and his lack of sleep the previous night had begun to take their toll. He was exhausted; it took all his effort to clamber from the float.
"Eriol-sama," said Nakuru as he rushed to his side. Eriol winced at the volume in Nakuru's voice and how tightly he gripped his arm. "Why did you run off like that? I had to leave our suitcases at a local café. They've probably stolen all my clothes by now."
Spinel nimbly leapt from Nakuru's shoulder to Eriol's, not caring if anyone saw him. "We've been looking all over for you." Spinel lightly touched Eriol's cheek. "You don't seem too good. What have you been doing?"
"Just take me home," Eriol muttered.
"That's where we were going," Nakuru said with exasperation, "But we can't go to England now: we've missed our flight."
"I think he meant the mansion," said Spinel.
Eriol was now leaning heavily against Nakuru. Nakuru looked down at his master with concern. Exchanging a look with Spinel, he asked, "Do you think we should transform and fly him back?"
Spinel thought to himself for a moment. "No," he said, "we don't want to drain any magic out of him in this condition. You're going to have to carry him the way you are."
Nakuru immediately positioned Eriol onto his back, piggyback style. On one shoulder perched Spinel while on the other lolled Eriol's head. Nakuru then set off to the mansion. Though the streets were still crowded with people, only the two guardians heard what their master muttered.
"I have to help her. Help her…"
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
Tomoyo ran all the way home. She was a complete mess. Her hair had been knotted by the wind and was now slicked to her sweaty scalp. She had two stitches now, one in each side, but that didn't stop her from running. She crashed inside the house, slamming the door behind her. Every time she tried to escape this place she always kept running back.
Something fell out of her pocket. She looked down to find Nakuru and Yukito staring at her from the floorboards. Nakuru was clad in blood red robes and stood menacingly over the words 'The Devil'. Yukito was fixed above the words 'Temperance' and was dressed in vibrant white robes.
Tomoyo left the cards on the floor and rushed through the house, seeking comfort, seeking sanctuary. She scrambled up the stairs, slipping as she reached the top and falling on her knee. She pulled herself up and made her way to her room, locking the door and wedging a chair under the handle. She wasn't sure how that was supposed to help, but they always did it in the movies.
Movies. Tomoyo ran to the door that led to her media room. Her videos had always managed to cheer her up, chase all the dark thoughts away.
She stood in front of the shelves of videos. Sakura Captures the Jump Card. Sakura Captures the Fly Card. No, for once she didn't want to watch a video of Sakura. She kept searching. Sakura Transforms Windy. Sakura Transforms Glow. No, no, NO.
Tomoyo began to fling each video to the floor. CRACK went Sakura's Race at the Sports Carnival. SMACK followed Tea at Sakura's House. Tomoyo began to get desperate; she savagely threw three tapes of Sakura at the park to the floor. The tapes began to pile up at her feet and she viciously kicked them aside. Still nothing, other than Sakura, Sakura, SAKURA.
Tomoyo swept her hand along the shelf, dislodging lines of tape and sending them clattering to the floor. She did the same with the two top shelves and used her feet with the bottom three. Tomoyo looked down at the wreckage of cassettes in triumph, but the sight of those forlorn little boxes left her hollow, gone was the feeling of exultation at sending those tapes to the floor.
She started to stamp on a video. Her foot jarred as it met the casing. After three increasingly violent stamps the black plastic finally cracked. Tomoyo started on another one. After ten tapes, her foot started to go numb.
She dropped to the floor and tried to pull the tapes apart by hand. She ripped of the cardboard covers, tearing them to pieces. She stuck her nails in the seam of the cassette and tried to prise apart the two halves. She tore two nails before moving on to the hinged piece. She snapped that off and threw it to the side.
The actual tape lay exposed now, a dark shiny ribbon. Tomoyo pulled the tape out with a jerk. A black ribbon spooled out, curling with every meter of tape that was added. Tomoyo reached the end of the tape with a sudden flourish that sent her arm flying. She tossed the now empty cassette to the side and repeated the process on the next one.
And the next one.
And the one after that.
Soon, curls of glistening black snakes surrounded Tomoyo. They coiled and twisted around each other, an eye melting tangle. But that still wasn't enough.
Her eyes alighted on her sewing basket; she sometimes did some mending while she watched videos. She tipped the basket upside-down scattering the contents on the floor: pincushion, threads, buttons, needles.
Scissors.
She snatched the scissors up and hacked at the coils of tape. She snipped and struck savagely. The air became thick with little pieces of black; they fluttered and flew through the air like snow. She didn't stop till all of the tape was destroyed.
And it still wasn't enough.
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
By the time Nakuru had managed to get them all home, Eriol was practically unconscious but he refused to be taken to his room. Instead he had insisted on being taken to his armchair in the living room. He now sat there, head propped in his hands, shivering slightly with exhaustion. Spinel and Nakuru hovered with concern at his side.
"Leave me," said Eriol and waved a hand in the direction of the door.
"No," Nakuru burst out, "You need us. We're not going to abandon you."
Spinel fluttered towards Eriol. "Master, perhaps it would be better –" Eriol cut him off with a gesture.
"I said: leave me. What part don't you understand?" He threaded his voice with a hint of menace. The guardians understood that while their master may be tired for the moment his temper surely wasn't. They slowly walked out of the room, looking over their shoulders with every step.
Once the lock clicked into place, Eriol got to work. He knew that Tomoyo still needed his assistance: that much was obvious from the emotional wreck she had become. Something had left her heart bruised and torn. There were things out there that would take advantage of her present condition.
Tomoyo wouldn't have allowed Eriol within meters of her, and Eriol wasn't going to force that. He still had to help her though, and since he couldn't do that physically then he'd have to do it spiritually.
With that thought, Eriol launched himself onto the astral plane. His living room vanished into a golden expanse of the wheat field. He slowly turned in a circle, seeking Tomoyo via the black sun. Two-thirds into his turn he stopped: she was that way. He looked in the direction that he felt his marker calling him. Curling above the horizon was a thin plume of smoke.
Eriol started to run through the wheat field.
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
Clutching the scissors, Tomoyo walked through her bedroom and into her walk-in wardrobe. Only half of the clothes in here were hers, the rest were all the costumes she had made for Sakura.
She grabbed a bunch of gaudy costumes at random and pulled them off their hangers. She carried them out of the wardrobe and dumped them on her bedroom floor. She then went back for the rest, not bothering to leave the wardrobe this time, just throwing them out the door.
There was a mountain of clothes by the time Tomoyo stepped out of the wardrobe. She opened the scissors with a snikt, the sound flashing through the room like lightning.
She attacked the clothes. Silk, velvet, cotton and linen fell before those blades. Corduroy ribs were broken, reams of lace were reduced to threads, sequins and buttons were cut from their moors. The bat-like costume? That pile of black scraps over there. The one with the pink pom-poms? Over there with the remains of the clover costume and over there with what's left of the yellow sun-dress and over there with the Arabian Nights inspired one.
She didn't stop till the dresses had been reduced to what the tapes were now. But while the media room was filled with shards of black, her bedroom was filled with broken rainbows.
It still wasn't enough.
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
As Eriol ran through the wheat field, the plume of smoke got thicker and darker. There was also the sound of buzzing in the air; it grated on his teeth. He had a suspicion of what he would find up ahead, and he dearly hoped that he was wrong.
The source of the smoke came into focus. It was Tomoyo.
Flames leapt about her, they crept along her skin and threaded her hair. She didn't seem aware that she was burning. In her hand she held a sickle and used it to thrash the surrounding stalks of wheat. She struck out blindly and with no apparent thought to her actions.
The cause of the fire was the hundreds of bees that crawled all over her. Each bee was its own little flame that stung her flesh and lit her clothes. Tomoyo made no effort to brush them away.
Anger bees were common in the wheat field. They represented the destructive, violent forces of the astral plane. Usually, a person could repel them with a clear mind and happy heart, but if that heart was broken, then the bees would strike. They would pour their poison into the victim's soul, feeding thoughts of violence and destruction, till their victim destroyed themselves.
Eriol stopped just outside Tomoyo's circle of destruction. The bees would ignore him as they had better prey on their hands. The usual way of quelling the anger bees was to smother them with calm.
Taking a cue from the bees' actual appearance, Eriol conjured a cloud of smoke before him. It took the form of a butterfly and fluttered over to the burning figure of Tomoyo. The smoke was light blue, flecked with speckles of white and flashes of gold. It reached Tomoyo and folded its wings around her, shielding her from view. The figure of Tomoyo was completely shrouded in blue smoke that began to turn purple. The smoke then dissipated leaving Tomoyo and no anger bees at all.
Yet though the bees had gone, Tomoyo was still full of anger. She continued to slash at the wheat.
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
Tomoyo sat on her heels and idly drove the scissors into the carpet. She had been staring into the middle distance but then her eyes suddenly focused on her bedside table.
The plain wooden box her father gave her sat there, but that wasn't what had drawn her eye. Next to it was another box, this one was a shiny crystal. This box was beloved not only by Tomoyo but also by her mother. This box contained memories.
Tomoyo lunged at the table and grabbed the box eagerly. The key was, as always, in the lock, but she twisted it savagely and snapped it in two. She dropped the scissors and tried to prise the lid off. It wouldn't budge.
With a scream she threw the box against the wall. It shattered in an explosion of glass and Nadeshiko flowers, a storm of glitter and pink, tears and blood.
Gleaming in the wreckage, completely out of place in the broken beauty of crystal shards and petals, lay a tiny bag. Crawling on her hands and knees, Tomoyo made her way to the wall. She picked up the bag and tried to undo the knot, but her hands were shaking so much that she made no progress. Twisting around she picked up her trusty scissors and slashed the bag open.
On to the carpet fell a tiny eraser, a smiling rabbit with pristine white ears. The cheerful face laughed up at her. How could a piece of stationery be so happy when she was breaking inside?
Holding the scissors like a dagger she stabbed at the smiling visage. The blades lodged themselves in an eye and she had to stab a few extra times before the eraser crumbled. She took great satisfaction in hunting each piece down and stabbing it into smaller and smaller pieces. She was left with tiny crumbs of eraser embedded in the carpet and caking her palms.
And it still wasn't enough.
The sunlight drew a star along the blades of the scissors. Funny, she never realised how very sharp they were...
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
The bees had been with her for too long. Either that or her anger had been great enough to begin with. She had given up slashing the wheat and knelt in the middle of her own personal crop circle.
She held the sickle before her, at eye level. It didn't shine like a metal sickle would, it gleamed a dull creamy white. Eriol suddenly realised that it was made of bone. The thought chilled him for a moment.
Tomoyo slowly brought the blade to her throat.
Eriol didn't even bother to shout, he saved his breath for diving forward to grab her wrists, wrenching the sickle away from her neck. She twisted away from him but he managed to keep one hand on hers. He brought the other around her so that she was now caged in the circle of his arms and they both held the sickle before them. She kept trying to bring the blade towards her and he kept trying to force it away. He rested his chin on her shoulder and wrenched the sickle back. He was tiring though.
The blade began to inch closer and closer.
Maybe it was because he was exhausted, maybe it was because he was delusional, but Eriol started to sing. He sang the songs that they sang when they were dancing on air, flying on paper wings. It seemed so long ago now, but it was only two days ago.
Trapped in his arms, music falling on her ears, she started to relax. Slowly the sickle crept away from the both of them till it suddenly vanished and they were left holding nothing but each other.
Eriol rocked them back and forth, the stalks of wheat swaying in sympathy. After a while Tomoyo started singing too, hesitantly at first but with rising confidence. Soon she had meshed her voice with his and it seemed like there was only one person singing in the wheat field.
WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW
Tomoyo threw the scissors away and collapsed onto the carpet. Her bed was right next to her but she just couldn't make the effort to get up and climb in. She was so tired.
As her heartbeat started to slow she allowed herself to listen to the sounds of the house. She hadn't heard anything while on her rampage of destruction, but now, in the quiet after the hurricane, she was sure she could hear singing.
Tomoyo closed her eyes and allowed the song to wash over her. It welled up just behind her ear, a comforting presence. After a moment she started to sing along, under her breath. Curled up on the carpet, head pillowed on her arm, Tomoyo fell asleep.
And maybe she dreamed it, but it felt as if someone was holding her.