Traumatized

Learning to touch again

"Why do you think Selphie was acting so weird in the caf today? She looked like she got major botox done and now she can't do anything but smile." Seifer asked Quistis as they sat in his room and drank pop after coming back from the cafeteria.

"You're so mean Seifer. Maybe she was having a bad day and trying to cover it up or maybe..."

"Maybe what?" Seifer asks excitedly. Quistis had gotten his curiosity picked.

"Maybe he helped her get past her barrier." Quistis said mart of factly.

"Past her what? She had a problem?" Seifer was so confused.

"No. He popped her cherry."

"Oh! She's mad at him for ruining her sundae and is trying to act like she isn't." Seifer said, thinking that he had got it.

"No, you idiot. You're so pathetic." Quistis was getting really exasperated.

"THEN WHAT IS IT!" Seifer started yelling.

"THEY HAD SEX!" Quistis yelled back. "HE TOOK HER VIRGINITY! GET IT NOW!"

"Not really." Seifer admitted. "Why would she act different because of that? I didn't act any different."

"My God Seifer. It's different for girls. It's painful and special all at the same time and if the guy really doesn't care in the end, it hurts that much more."

"I see. Maybe we should put this too the test. I'll go find some virgin girl, sleep with her, then let you know what happened." Seifer said.

"You're dumb." Quistis said to his stupid comment. Seifer reached and gently tugged Quistis's head down to meet his. He started to kiss her and Quistis went with it, kissing him back. After a while Seifer reached up her shirt and Quistis moaned when his hand covered her breast. He gently played with her nipples through her bra but that wasn't enough for Seifer. He let his other hand drop to her pants when Quistis suddenly jerked back. "What?" Seifer asked.

"Don't Seifer! I already told you that I wasn't ready to take that step in our relationship." Quistis cried as she ran out his door and slammed it behind her. Seifer was pissed that she had left like that so he picked up one of the empty glasses that had had pop in it and threw it against the wall.

"Damn it!" Seifer yelled as he watched the glass shatter into millions of pieces.

"Well Selphie looked happier this morning." Squall commented as he drank a pop.

"No she didn't!" Rinoa replied. "She looked like she was faking it for everyone's sake." Rinoa picked up her own glass of pop and drank some.

"Whatever. At least she's trying." Squall said and got up to go to the fridge.

"Her faking it is not a good thing." Rinoa said quietly.

"Don't go down this road again Rinoa. She'll be fine. She's just picking her own way to deal. It's not up to you to decide whether it's right or wrong." Squall said.

"Ya, ya. I know. I'm going to take a shower." Squall raised an eyebrow at that.

"Want some company?" He asked innocently.

"No thanks. If I invite you to come in the shower with me I'll never even get in. I'll just get my top off and we'll be having sex on the counter." Squall smiled at that.

"What can I say? When your as beautiful as you are you can't expect me to be able to resist."

"Flatterer." Rinoa through over her shoulder as she went in the bathroom locking the door behind her.

"Awww." Squall faked a groan. "Why do you have to be like that?"

Zell looked around his room and realized that he was really bored. Selphie was in the shower and he had nothing to do. So he decided to pick up the phone and call Squall. Hopefully he wasn't doing stuff with Rinoa. The phone rang three times when finally Squall picked up. "Hey Squall." Zell said cheerfully.

"Hey Zell. What's up?"

"Nothing much. I was just calling to let you know that Selphie had a really bad dream last night. She seems to be reliving the night over and over again in her head. I'm getting kind of worried."

"I'll tell you exactly what I told Rinoa. Don't worry about it. She'll be fine. This is just her way of dealing with it. Where is she by the way?"

"She's in the shower. Thanks man."

"No prob Zell. Listen I got to go. Fill me in on more later."

"Sure bye." Zell hung up the phone as the conversation ended. He sat down on his couch trying to think of something to do when he heard a scream and Selphie came running out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around her. Zell looked up to see that she was crying, he then jumped up off the couch and headed towards her.

"Selphie, what's wrong?" Zell asked as gently as he could. She looked up at him with huge, scared eyes.

"I h-h-had a f-flash-flashback. I seen...I seen it all in my head." She stuttered. Zell automatically reached out to brush her tears away. Selphie flinched as his hand came near but she didn't move away this time. Zell was encouraged by that so he kept moving his hand forward until he gently brushed his thumb across her cheek, wiping away her tears.

"It's ok Selphie. I'll never let him do that to you again. I promise." Selphie nodded to that and went back in the bathroom to change into her pajama pants and a tank top, which they had picked up from her place on the way back from the cafeteria. After changing Selphie sat down on Zell's bed cross legged.

"Zell?"

"Ya, Selphie?"

"Can you please talk about something to help me get my mind off...this." She asked quietly.

"Uh, sure. Um..." Zell really had no idea what to say that would ease her mind. "I have never had a steady girlfriend before. My longest relationship lasted one month." Selphie's eyes widened at that.

"That's not very long. All right well I guess it's my turn to admit something. Uh...I'm still a virgin." Selphie said the last part very quietly.

"So am I." Zell replied and Selphie gasped. Zell was a virgin? Thought Selphie. She thought for sure that he had already done it with many girls seeing as he was so good looking.

"Wow."

"Sad, I know."

"It's not sad Zell. That's beautiful. You're waiting for that special someone. I think that's very sexy." Selphie admitted. "Anyway I guess it's my turn again. To be completely honest, I have never even had a real kiss before." Zell looked into Selphie's eyes realizing that he wanted to be her first real kiss. He wanted to be everything for her. With that only thought in mind he leaned forward and captured her lips with his own. Selphie was surprised that Zell had made such a bold move on her but she didn't stop him, she didn't want to stop him. She pressed her lips against his harder, then he gently opened her mouth with the tip of his tongue making her gasp.

"It's ok." Zell whispered against her mouth before continuing with the kiss. Selphie loved the way it felt, and loved how patient Zell was being with her. Suddenly though all the memories came back. All the feelings of almost getting raped. Flashing blue eyes. The strength and the tearing sound her dress made. Selphie jumped back from Zell with the fear in her eyes all over again.

"I'm sorry." Selphie whispered as she put her hand over her mouth and her eyes filled with tears.

"It's ok Selphie." He said gently as he gently reached out to stroke her cheek. She jumped back slightly but he still stroked her cheek gently. "It's probably a good idea for you to go to bed now." Zell said and Selphie nodded. She gently climbed into his bed and Zell pulled the sheets over her and tucked her in. He then leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Good night, Selphie."

"Good night."