A Satirical Inuyasha Romance

Aislin Oriel

"I don't see how this makes me fit in around here…" Inuyasha was doing all he could to keep his temper restrained as he stood outside of a dressing room sporting a sombrero and poncho, and holding maracas. He looked absolutely livid.

Kagome couldn't restrain her laughter, "I'm sorry," she lied, "I guess it's not your style… but it was just too funny… I had to see it on you!"

"Why you-" he was cut off as Kagome threw another load of clothes at him and pushed him back into the dressing stall.

So far he had tried on several 'outfit styles' as Kagome called them, and he couldn't tell which was worse, the biker outfit, or the football uniform. At least now it looked like she was giving him some clothes that looked more like that of which he saw people wearing instead of strange costumes.

After struggling for a few moments with the newfangled garments, Inuyasha emerged triumphantly from the stall with, what seemed like a winner, on.

He did a bit of a pose, putting his hands on his hips, and looking at her to evaluate her reaction.

"Aw, you look good!" she said, unabashed. "It sure is a coincidence that we found that novelty shirt for you,"

The white shirt was emblazoned with a bright red, 'I travelled 500 years into the future, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt'. He was wearing a pair of plain-ish blue jeans, and had a red bandana on his head to cover his doggy ears.

"Now, what we need for you is shoes…" Kagome trailed off, picking up the shopping bags she'd been lugging around and made her way to the check out counter.

"Hey! No shoes! You said I could wear sandals!" Inuyasha argued as he grabbed his old clothes and stuffed them in one of the bags he'd been forced into carrying, joining her at the counter.

"Hmm, we'll see," Kagome chimed pleasantly and gave him a sugary smile.

Suddenly Inuyasha was amidst more confusion as a strange flashy light thing the salesperson was holding was moved around him to various tagged points of clothing, beeping in turn. He tried to stay still, and seeing Kagome chuckling at him, grew more annoyed, as he ripped the various tags off the clothing and shoved them in the salespersons direction.

In typical cliché fashion, pun intended, the salesperson looked startled, then giggled at him, as many people were prone to do in this era, which infuriated the hell out of him. In the warring states period, only diabolical evil monsters and an occasional estranged half-brother dared laugh at him, before he would rip them to shreds. But here, complete strangers tried his temper.

He glared at Kagome as she continued the mockery, and she paid quickly.

As he strutted out of the store in modern clothes, and barefoot, Kagome happily weaved her purse and bag carrying arm in with his heavily loaded one. This action always made him think that Kagome was imagining herself in another other world, where they were a couple. He didn't mind, as long as he got ramen out of it.

"We just have to go two streets over, there's a surf shop where we can find you some sandals…" Kagome informed, still in her out-there state.

Inuyasha was confused as to why a vassal would be selling sandals, but went with it.

As they trod in that direction, Inuyasha squirmed a little, trying to get used to the restricting pants and the bare arms he wasn't used to sporting. The passing glances he received were also not that of familiarity. Although they were partially most likely still because he was barefoot, they weren't the typical 'what is he wearing?' stares. The females who walked by were eyeing him… well, strangely. He was sure it would've been an ego boost if he were Miroku, but at this point he felt more like he wished he was back in his old kimono.

Kagome remained oblivious at the attention he was getting, as she was still in the far-off corners of her daydream. She seemed to not notice, when a girl brushed against Inuyasha's side in a less than 'accidental' manoeuvre.

At this point, he himself felt slightly offended for Kagome, and forgot his own discomfort. C'mon, this girl was hanging off him – that was a definite sight of claiming. The nerve of these women, even if it wasn't true, it still appeared to be! And damn it, but he was wanting to see Kagome get just as jealous and possessive as he was to her!

"Kagome," he nudged her out of her revelry as they crossed an intersection.

"Huh?" she looked up curiously at him.

"Why are all these women looking at me like that?" he nodded in example, to a passing brunette who was giving him an elevator appraisal.

"What?" she observed as the girl walked by a little closer than was needed, while looking out the corner of her eye, "Well, maybe they like what they see," she offered.

He blinked. How could she be so cool about it!

Another girl smiled slightly as she walked by him also.

Kagome's face turned slightly annoyed and she snapped, "Personal space! Personal space!" and tugged him quickly closer to her, all the while glaring at the offending girl.

When they were a safe distance away from threats – and walking deliberately along the street to avoid the crowd, Kagome looked, slightly flushed, back at him.

"Sorry, thought you might need some help…" she apologized.

He felt a slight surge of masculine pride at her 'help', but just exhaled loudly instead of thanking her.

Looking ahead on the street, Kagome pointed at the shop they were going to, in an effort to cut the tension.

"So… what does this serf sell aside from sandals?" Inuyasha asked, curiously.

"Huh? No, the surf doesn't sell anything… it's a place where you buy surf gear like beach things," she elaborated slightly.

He was still slightly confused, but was used to being left in the dark about futuristic things.

"Keh, whatever, let's just get it over with so we can get back sooner."

AN: What exactly is it about a guy without shoes? Why is Inuyasha submitting to this shopping torture – is it really for the ramen and the promise of returning sooner? Will Inuyasha ever figure out what these strange words mean? Will Kagome reveal her motives behind the whole trip? Find out in the next exciting instalment – there is a 98 percent guarantee of more humorous situations! Thanks! AO