A Satirical Inuyasha Romance
Aislin Oriel
After spending an hour trying to convince him to wear shoes, then trying on different pairs of sandals, holding him down, hack, forcing them on, cough, each which didn't seem quite wide enough, Kagome, tired but triumphant, lead the way down to the local grocers, humming her own little tune.
Inuyasha griped and followed her awkwardly in the constricting garb. In his head he was counting off the reasons he hated the modern era. No killing things, smelled like Jaken, really loud, Kagome's annoying friends, school, etc… etc…
"How am I supposed to walk, let alone run in these ridiculous things!" he spat out in annoyance.
"Well, you seem to be walking just fine to me," Kagome sang merrily.
"Keh, let's just get the things you want so we can go back!" he resolved.
"We're not going back right away Inuyasha,"
"What! You said that if I got some of these strange robes-"
"That we would go back sooner, not immediately. Sheesh, you need some time to show off your new clothes and Have. Some. Fun." Kagome rationalized.
"Fun! Do you realize what's-"
"Happening on the other side of the well, death, destruction - got it. But it just so conveniently happens that if you go back there – well, you know what time of month it is,"
"Isn't that just great for you? So this is what kind of story this is…" Inuyasha mumbled.
"Well, think about it; If we stay here we'll skip your transformation all together this month, and we can safely return tomorrow," Kagome informed casually.
"Ah, more of your lunar-shift babble again?" he sighed.
"I already explained that the moon's cycles change over 500 years, it's quite helpful really, knowing how much you hate that time of the month,"
"Yeah, just wish there were some similar way to make your time of the month go away…" he grumbled under his breath.
"What's that?"
"Nothing. So, where's my ramen!" he demanded.
"Inside the store." Kagome gestured in front of them.
"Well, then what are you waiting for!" he barked.
"Well, I just noticed that it started snowing," she watched as a snowflake landed on Inuyasha's nose, making him go cross-eyed.
"Oh crap, not another freak snowstorm! I hate when that happens!" Inuyasha whined.
"What was that?" she glared at him.
"Oi wench, I mean, I just love them…" he said fakely, rolling his eyes and continuing to mumble under his breath about inconsistent seasons.
Suddenly, in an overused literary device, a whole crapload of snow plummeted down on them, leaving them standing waist-high in finely-packed, extra frosty snow.
Some dense vision-hindering snow began to fall just to add to the effect.
"Everything's so white, I can barely see!" Kagome hollered over the strong wind that had picked up – oh yeah, there was strong wind too.
"Hey look, there in the middle of where the city used to be before the snowstorm made only the two of us isolated – it's an abandoned hut like the ones that always seem to be placed literally between the places we travel to in the feudal era," Inuyasha pointed in the direction.
Sure enough, there stood a lone, desolate, rickety old shack.
"Brrr! Let's hurry, I can already feel my legs and arms getting frostbite after only 1 minute!" Kagome complained.
"Feh, weak human body. I can't stand dumb, weak, dumb humans…" and so on.
They strapped on their snowshoes and plodded the distance to the cabin. They didn't bother to dig out their discarded bags containing Inuyasha's old clothes, but that's okay because they magically regenerate themselves in a stylish assortment of colours.
Opening the door with an annoying squeak, inside they found it to be indeed similar to all the other random huts they stayed at during impossibly freak snowstorms.
There were candles placed intuitively about the room, creating a romantic atmosphere, along with flower petals sprinkled expertly around the otherwise sparse hut. Other than that there was only one other thing.
Inuyasha slammed the door shut in irritation, before his eyes squinted.
"Hell no! Not another one of these!"
AN: Oh no, what could possibly and intentionally be the obvious annoying cliché that is causing our doggy such grief? Did any other people in Tokyo survive the snowfall? How many times will Inuyasha be sat in the next chapter before the inevitable sappy moment? Will they be able to wait the storm out after all or will something totally unexpected happen? (Not likely…) And will he ever get his ramen now that the grocery store has been buried? Well, who really cares, but it will still be posted! Yay! AO