A Satirical Inuyasha Romance
Aislin Oriel
After preparing her trademark 3-course meal, and getting half a plate full of food, Kagome went to try and de-clog the clothes-clogged toilet. To no avail, as they were severely wedged down in there and it looked like a plumber would have to be called in.
Inuyasha thought that he could help by flushing it again. Well, twelve times to be exact.
Yes, definitely professional help.
Ms. Higurashi would have to call a plumber, since it was dubious that one would be available while the storm was underway. For now, all that could be done was pile towels tightly to the crack under the door and ward off any half-demons wishing to bestow more "help".
The rest of the evening was as uneventful as a lazy author can make it. The usual dose of sexual tension and humorous arguments played into it. Use your imagination.
By the next morning, the sun was shining, and there was no evidence of the previous storm. Strangely, the city hadn't been flooded by the sheer volume of melted snow – rather it appeared that it had dried up as instantly as it had come. This was quite lucky.
(However, the upstairs bathroom was flooded.)
Quite lucky.
"Now, where did I put that flashlight?" Kagome mumbled to herself as she tossed random objects out of her closet, which were mostly just replicas of her alarm clock which had to be replaced quite regularly for some strange reason, and never noticed that she basically brained Buyo who was lounging/melting off the side of her bed.
After crawling out of the abyss, she turned an annoyed eye on Inuyasha, who as usual was torturing Buyo, while the enormous cat looked even more vacant than normal.
"What, you mean this?" Inuyasha looked up at her as he pulled something out from under Buyo, which was revealed to be her heavy-duty flashlight.
"Thanks!" she smiled happily and snapped it out of his hand, turned around and flooded the closet with the beam.
"What you doin' in there anyway? I thought you said we had all the supplies packed?" he queried while poking a claw into impenetrable feline-girth.
"This!" she turned around triumphantly, holding an object high.
"What the hell is that?" he asked flatly, staring at the odd thing.
"Here," she tossed it to him, "It's a Rubix Cube. I'm bringing it to amuse Shippo since someone ate all his crayons."
"Hey!" Inuyasha huffed defensively, "If they weren't food, they shouldn't have been flavoured!"
"They were scented you dolt."
"Yeah, they didn't really taste that good anyway."
"Alright, looks like we've got all we need for now. Let's head out!" Kagome stretched in preparation.
"Nya, about time." he complained as he got to his feet, effectively dropping Buyo on the head in the process.
"Don't forget my pack!" she reminded to him cheerfully and pointed near the door.
"I could never forget it; after all, it has my ramen in it." Inuyasha reasoned as he slipped the cube inside and slung the ginormous yellow mass onto his shoulder with exaggerated ease.
Everything seemed to be going well, no pun intended, that is until they were intercepted by the worst of evils, as Kagome had taken the backpack from him in order to receive the usual piggyback, just outside the well house.
"Higurashi!"
"Houjou-kun…" Kagome sweatdropped from her perch on Inuyasha's back.
Of course Houjou seemed not to take notice as he smiled into oblivion, before also greeting Inuyasha rather companionably.
"Oh, you're the one from the play! You did kind of destroy the school, but at least the audience enjoyed the performance!" he went on, ignoring the irritable, grating look Inuyasha was bestowing on him.
"Um, excuse me Houjou-kun, but this is a bad time…" Kagome insisted, but as usual her words fell on deaf ears, as the modern boy continued to prattle away.
"Well, this is just perfect! Since you're obviously looking better, aside from that leg-weakness you've been having which I've brought you some herbal tonic for, we can definitely go on a date now. And how lucky that you have your friend over, since we can have a double-date. I know just the girl… actually, I can't choose just one, so, girls."
As if on cue for obvious necessary reasons, Ayumi, Eri and Yuka appeared up the shrine stairs, joining them with far too much enthusiasm to be healthy.
Correction. Now they were intercepted by the worst of evils. Yes, definitely now.
"NO WAY!" Kagome shrieked in refusal, possessively gripping hold of Inuyasha tighter.
This was promptly followed by extreme blushing on both their parts, and immediately after that, Kagome prying herself off of his back and launching herself a safe 8 feet away from him.
Houjou smiled his trademark smile.
Yuka, Ayumi and Eri began their trademark grilling and boyfriend gossip.
Inuyasha did his trademark back-pedalling as the trio descended on him with glee.
And Kagome did something that she never really does. She fainted face first into the ground.
Well, okay, maybe she does do that sometimes.
Inuyasha commenced his trademark panicking over her well-being.
Meanwhile, Buyo rolled over in a trademark-like fashion.
AN: Sorry for that last random-seeming line. But I couldn't end it on a serious note. Now. I'm aware that now is the time I'm to beg for forgiveness. I'm VERY sorry about the ridiculously long wait for an update. Between getting a job, losing a job, and preparing to move, the creative juices weren't flowing properly. I'll try not to do that again. Gomen. No real prelude to the next chapter, so till next time! (Which will be sooner, I assure.) Thanks! Reviews make me happy – and the ones not just telling me to update make me want to more. AO