Enigmatic Hatred
By Shade
A/N: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know you're all sick of excuses but I'm updating like crazy right now. First off I was suspended from for a long while (several fics of mine…some of my best…were taken down) then my computer caught a virus. When we finally sent it off the place that was supposed to fix it had it forever and a day when they finally called and said they'd refund our money and were very sorry but they had completely wiped the memory. My PS2 broke and I spent ridiculous amounts of time and everything short of necromancy trying to revive it. Then my grandfather got very sick and passed on. When I got back from the funeral I sent the computer to someone else. Again, forever and a day passed until it came back to me but yesterday was that day and here is this chapter!
He recalled apologizing to Squall, holding him close, but that had been only on the edge of his thoughts as he found himself once more in the real world. Though the linoleum was far warmer in comparison to the snowy, time compressed wasteland he had found himself in only minutes he had never felt so cold. The corners of his vision tapered, closing in on the red pooling at the base of the bathtub. His head was spinning and his breathing became slow and rhythmic then strained, drowned out by the sound of his own pulse which sounded as if it was fading completely. Seifer managed one last ironic sort of smile before falling completely forward, far too tired to keep himself awake any longer.
Suddenly he wasn't quite so cold. There was wind and the orange tint of light was visible even with his eyes closed as they were. He could hear birds and faint sounds of laughter. Closest of all though were familiar voices.
"Is he dead?"
"IDIOT."
"Well I didn't think he'd die, ya know?"
Seifer groaned and stretched only to find moving from his crumpled position on the ground wasn't quite as uncomfortable as he had imagined. Grass was beneath him and he noted he was wearing his coat and a black shirt once more. He hastily rolled his sleeves up, shocked to find not even the older scar was present. He was so taken offguard in fact he was completely unprepared for a kick in the side.
"BASTARD!"
That much hurt. Seifer dropped back, falling onto his side. He looked up, confused and just in time to find an angry looking Fuijin drawing her foot back. Seifer opened his mouth to say something, anything but nothing came out.
"Hey, Fuj, take it easy on him. He's been through a lot, ya know?" Raijin moved past her, leaning down and offering Seifer a hand "Sorry Seifer, Fuj was kinda disappointed about the whole killing yourself thing, ya know?"
"IDIOT." Fujin repeated, spinning around on her heel and walking away now.
Seifer shakily took the offered hand and got to his feet "You-you're…dead…I-"
"Well what did you think would happen when you…well…ya know," Raijin's smile weakened slightly. Looking past Raijin now, Seifer recognized Winhill but just barely. This place seemed larger, more beautiful somehow. They were on a hill at the moment, around a small rockface. He watched Fujin continue down the hill and head towards a small house in the distance. They were a good distance from the residential area of the town but voices still carried to the hilltop on the wind "Come on," Raijin motioned for Seifer to follow then hurried down the hill himself.
Seifer followed, still in something of a daze. As they drew closer to the cottage he realized it was really quite lovely and larger than he had first assumed. There was a garden with climbing vines that wound up to a window on the second floor. Inside there was a fireplace and comfortable looking furniture. In a kitchen to one side of the house Seifer saw Fuijin making what looked to be tea. She glared at Seifer momentarily as Raijin hastily led him past and into the living room "She'll cool down ya know? Just don't make eye contact until then."
Seifer dropped down into a chair, slowly coming to his senses now "So…we're dead…?" Raijin seemed to hesitate in answering so Seifer merely continued. He certainly had plenty of questions. "…And this place is…"
"Where Fujin and I live. She chose, but I don't mind, ya know? We travel a lot anyway."
"I'd like to throttle whoever coined the phrase 'you can sleep when you're dead.' Lying son of a bitch.
" Seifer looked to find Fujin was in the room again and offering him a cup. He took the cup, breathing in the steam before looking up to Fuijin again, suddenly noticing what was so different about her…aside from the fact that she was currently speaking in complete sentences…"You aren't wearing an eyepatch."
A somewhat embarrassed look was on her face and she looked to one side, allowing both perfect eyes to be hidden beneath her silvery hair. She backed up a few steps before Raijin caught her around the waist and pulled him down to sit at his side. He brushed her hair back and kissed her forehead, only causing her to blush a bit more deeply. She recovered quickly of course and this resulted in Raijin getting a smart whack upside the head but Seifer still couldn't help but smile. Seifer had known Fuijin long enough to see through her usual violent demeanor. He had never seen her happier.
Seifer took a sip of the tea in hand as Fuijin spoke up once more "Someone should have realized what was going on." She said at last.
"About the…time compression and… "
"About everything," Fuijin snapped "Anyone with any sort of education could have told you energy can never be destroyed. Nothing was done with Ultimacia's power…not really…Of course it was bound to manifest and no one human could have handled that sort of power so-"
"They had no way of knowing, ya know," Raijin offered in Seifer's defense.
Fuijin only shook her head "Not only that. Rinoa should have realized what was going on. Squall should have realized he loved you sooner and you should have realized killing yourself was a DAMN STUPID THING TO DO!"
Seifer couldn't find the nerve to talk back to her. He stared down at his tea, knowing she was completely right. Raijin didn't argue with her this time. "I know that now…but I can't change what I did…Yelling at me won't do much good."
"It helps," Raijin muttered, much to Seifer's surprise "We love you Seifer but so does Squall and he's going to need you now if you hadn't guessed as much. He left Rinoa. He took far too long but he left her, even with the knowledge that you might not be around for much longer."
Seifer nearly dropped the tea in hand but didn't have a chance to respond as Fuijin picked up where Raijin had left off. Her tone seemed calmer now "You know, love like that can never really be destroyed either. He would never get over your death, not really. He could never move on…I…" Seifer heard her voice crack slightly, saw her look away as if trying to forget something. Though she had followed Raijin quickly she still remembered the pain of seeing his motionless body all to well, clutching at his body, hoping to stir him. She knew all too well what Squall must be going through.
"What Fuj means is that things are going to get better." Raijin had moved his arm back around Fuijin, pulling her closer. She hadn't objected this time and even smiled.
"We'll miss you…but I think we can manage amongst ourselves until we meet again, hmm…?" She threw Raijin a meaningful look as she stood, causing him to grin.
Seifer put his tea aside, looking to both of his old friends, confused "What are you talking about?" He asked, standing.
"You thought you'd get to stay? You're not freeloading off of us…We'll leave those honors to Squall…And it had better be a long while down the line from now."
Seifer looked from Raijin to Fujin once more "…But…I died. How am I supposed to…What…"
Fujin rolled her eyes "Energy has to go somewhere remember? No one person could handle it and it your better half is still alive what do you think that means?"
Seifer stared at her, feeling as light headed as he had felt when he had died and now very confused "I don't know! You're not making any sense!"
"See ya later Seifer. Tell Squall I said hi," Raijin hugged Seifer and the other fell silent, hugging the other back awkwardly.
Fujin wrapped her arms around Seifer as well, reaching up to kiss his cheek "Watch it when you go back. If you do anything stupid, we'll know and there'll be hell to pay when we meet again."
The entire room seemed to shift and Seifer realized that he seemed to be slipping away from this world just as he had slipped from the last. He hugged Fuijin and Raijin back fiercely. His voice failed him again but that was the least of his worries right now. Part of him didn't want to leave. He clung to his friends, reluctant to go back to a place that had caused him such pain. In the end he felt both Fujin and Raijin's touch fade albeit their presence remained. Suddenly only one pair of arms was around him.
"You think I imagined it don't you?" Seifer had been watching the ceiling as he spoke, his eyes unfocused. Now he looked back to Squall to find the other watching him with profound interest.
Squall shook his head immediately "You don't, do you?"
Seifer shook his head as well. He knew what he had seen and felt, what he still felt now.
"You wanted to stay with them," Squall asked quietly, lying at Seifer's side. He had been gripping his arm much too tight since he had stirred. Only now did his grip lessen.
Seifer picked up the tone in his voice and immediately pulled Squall close "I wasn't sure what was waiting for me back here." He said honestly, pleased when Squall kissed him.
"I was an idiot. I'm so sorry Seifer," He muttered into Seifer's shoulder, tears in his eyes once more. He seemed close to breaking down again when Seifer pulled him closer, trying to keep him calm.
"Just show me all right? Prove you're sorry that way," He loosened his grip on Squall, smiling as he nodded frantically "Until then…I'm kind of tired so…"
Squall pulled away reluctantly "I'm not leaving," He stood but leaned back over the bed to kiss Seifer "But I should go get the nurse and tell everyone you're all right. I'll be here when you wake up. I promise."
"I believe you," Seifer suppressed a laugh, kissing Squall back once more before he pulled away and moved towards the door.
Squall stopped there however and looked back "Seifer…what do you think Fujin meant by…" He fell silent, realizing Seifer's breathing was slow and steady now and his eyes closed. He was asleep. Dismissing the thought for now he left the wing, stepping into the hallway and closing the door behind him.
"Squall…"
Startled, Squall looked around to find his friends were still present. Dr. Kadowaki and her nurse went back into the office. Selphie seemed close to tears and Quistis was noticeably upset. Even Zell looked sick. Squall suddenly began to laugh. He had never been so relieved, so happy and it showed…It also disgusted and disturbed everyone around him at the moment but Squall could care less what they thought. Clarification could wait for a moment, maybe several. The increasing weight upon his heart had been lifted. Everything was falling into place. For now he had been given a second chance. He had been given back the one thing, the one person that mattered most to him in this world and that was all that mattered.
A/N: Wow, I'm so glad to be back! You have no idea how much I've missed working on this. I hope it was decent. I miss my beta readers T-T. If you haven't given up on me I'd love to have you assistance wrapping this fic up. As for the Fuijin and Raijin bit, I know I cut out the one…worders…and the 'ya knows' towards the end. That wasn't another careless mistake on that part -;;. On a side note I posted a songfic last night which I wrote while I was waiting for my computer. It's a Harry Potter (my first!) fanfiction and titled Umbrella…Predictably I have no reviews…-.-. If you have nothing to do and a thing for Draco/Harry fics by all means check it out. You could earn my love and wrack up some nice good karma points at the same time. Go for it.