If I Die Tomorrow
By: blackwidow10
A/N: So...yeah...new story. And for those of you who are pissed at me for not updating Passionate Fire (if any of you even care what I have to say at this point), I'm trying! Really! I am furiously making my brain work to come up with more ideas, but they always end up being for new stories. It's quite frustrating. Anyways...on with the show...
I wake up to find myself
After all these years
And where all the time has gone
Still seems so unclear
"How did 7th year go by so fast?" Hermione asked as the Golden Trio walked down to breakfast. It was one week until the end of term, one week until graduation…one week until they would leave Hogwarts forever.
"I don't know." Ron said, looking around at the Entrance Hall as they walked down the marble staircase.
Harry nodded. "It feels weird, knowing that these are the last nights we'll ever spend here. No more Quidditch games, or Hogsmeade weekends…"
"No more spending hours in the library trying to solve a new mystery…" Hermione said as they opened the doors to the Great Hall.
Ron glared over at the nearly empty Slytherin table as they took their sears. "And no more fighting with Malfoy. Until the final battle, anyway."
Harry didn't say anything as Hermione nodded. "It all comes down to tomorrow."
Harry couldn't eat after that. He looked across the Hall at Draco Malfoy, his rival. At least, they were rivals to the rest of the world.
Draco looked up into Harry's emerald eyes, filled with dread and uncertainty. The Slytherin jerked his head toward the doors, and then got up to walk out. Normally, someone would have stopped him, asked him why he was leaving, but there was so few Slytherins left at Hogwarts that it didn't matter. They had all gone to join their parents, and Voldemort.
Draco was holding that off for as long as he could.
Harry though about all of this as he snuck out of the room while Ron and Hermione weren't paying attention. He knew that no matter what happened tomorrow, he would never hold a wand to Draco, even just for show.
Everything would change in just over 24 hours, for good or bad. If he survived, he would be able to do things he could never do while Voldemort was in power.
'Cause there's no one else
Since I found you
I know it's been so hard
You should know
He could be with Draco, for real.
Harry looked around the Entrance Hall for Draco, spotting him next to the stairs leading down to the dungeons. He hurried over to the blonde, and they disappeared down the stone steps to Draco's private room. Once there, Draco pulled Harry into his arms, and kissed him soundly. Harry sighed as his arms came up to tangle in Draco's hair, pulling him as close as possible. They stayed like that for at least five minutes, soft kissing sounds and contented noises filling the room.
When they finally pulled away from each other, they could only stare into each other's eyes. Deep green and stormy gray mingled easily, while Harry and Draco were still so close, their noses almost touching.
Finally, Harry tore his eyes away, and buried his face in Draco's neck. "I'm scared Draco." he mumbled.
Draco smiled sadly as he held Harry. "I am too, love."
"When are you leaving?" Harry asked, dreading the answer he knew would hear.
"Tonight." Draco whispered.
All Harry could manage was, "Oh."
Draco pulled Harry's head up so he could look into his eyes again. He brought a hand up and cupped Harry's cheek, his thumb tracing a line under Harry's eyes. "We're both going to make it tomorrow. You'll kill the Dark Lord, my father will be killed by some Auror or Order member because he's too stubborn to just go quietly, and when it's all over, we'll disappear somewhere and just be together."
Harry had to smile. "Aren't I supposed to be the hero?"
Draco laughed. "Of course, I'm sorry. Back to work with you." He made a shooing motion with his hand.
They both dissolved in quiet giggles. It felt good to laugh, especially as the threat of the next day loomed over their heads like rain waiting for the perfect moment to break from the clouds and drench them. Before they could move over to sit on the bed, there was a knock on the door that startled them both.
"Draco?" The muffled voice of the Potions master came from the other side.
Snape knew of their relationship (not that he approved of it in any way), and he didn't seem remotely surprised to see Harry standing in the background when Draco opened the door.
Then again, it was always difficult to tell when the professor was showing an emotion at all.
"I need to talk to you. Alone." Snape said coldly. Harry, far too used to Snape's hatred to care anymore, nodded at Draco and left the room.
If I die tomorrow
As the minutes fade away
I can't remember
Have I said all I can say?
Harry walked slowly down the 3rd floor corridor, letting himself get lost in memories of his Hogwarts days. So much of his life had taken place within these old stone walls…and he wondered how much longer he would be alive to remember these things.
It wasn't that he didn't think he could win…he had been trained and worked until he was blue in the face. No, he was more worried for his friends, for anyone even remotely close to him.
Voldemort would go to any lengths to hurt him, and he would start with Harry's friends. Ron and Hermione would be first, which is they had been trained almost as roughly as Harry himself. And then would be Remus, his only link left to memories, happy ones, of his parents and his godfather.
Harry sighed. People had been telling him that he was worrying too much, that Voldemort would meet his end when he finally faced Harry, and that they had complete faith in him. Everyone was counting on him…and that was also making him anxious. What if…
What if he let them all down? The whole Wizarding world...
Granted, he really hadn't asked to be the whole world's bloody savior, but he still had to do it. He was the only one who could.
Sometimes he thought that it would all have been easier if he had let the Sorting Hat put him in Slytherin, then he wouldn't feel too bad about turning his back on everyone and letting them take care of Voldemort themselves.
Of course, thinking of Slytherin made him think of Draco, and he thanked his lucky stars that no one on the Dark Side had ever found out about them. That would have put Draco in the #1 spot on the Dark Lord's hit list.
And if Draco died, Harry's will to live would die with him.
You're my everything
You make me feel so alive
If I die tomorrow
Harry loved Draco too much to be able to survive if he ever lost him. Draco was the real reason he was still fighting. He wanted to be able to let everyone know how infatuated he was with the Slytherin. Draco would be the real reason they won the war, if they did.
He would always protect Draco, his Draco, no matter how badly he was hurt in his quest to do that.
Snape hadn't had anything special to say, just a few more tips about dueling tomorrow. Draco thought that Snape simply liked annoying Harry too much to pass up any opportunity to be cruel to him.
Draco sighed. He hated it when he was away from Harry. He always had this irrational fear that he would never come back, and he sincerely hoped that tomorrow wouldn't make his fears a reality.
He really worried for Harry, with all the stress he was being put through. Not only did he have to kill another human being (even if it was Voldemort), but he would be bust protecting those around him as much as he could.
Draco had a feeling that "those around him" would mostly be Draco himself. Harry would have to guard him not only against Voldemort and his Death Eaters (as they would quickly learn that he had turned on them), but also from those on the side of Light that didn't know Draco was on their side.
Draco sighed again. It was much too quiet in his room with Harry gone.
It brings out the worst in me
When you're not around
I miss the sound of your voice
The silence seems so loud
Draco had never loved anyone before. He had never had a chance to. But that had all changed when Harry came into his life. Well, when they had put a stop to their stupid arguments and fights, that is.
Draco looked around his room, everything somehow reminding him of Harry. The green of the curtains was Harry's eyes, the black of the silk sheets like the deep ebony of his hair.
Draco could not lose Harry tomorrow. He couldn't survive without him. And even though he had plenty of faith in Harry's abilities, knew that he was strong and that he could really win if he tried, the dread in his heart grew as the morning drew ever closer. It was a great danger hanging over their heads. He only hoped that Harry would focus less on his, Draco's, safety and more on the destruction of the most powerful Dark wizard for a century.
But he didn't really expect that to happen. Harry always fought for the ones he loved, even if he knew they could defend themselves, and Harry's love for Draco was great. Maybe it came from thinking that everyone he loved or that loved him dearly would surely die.
He definitely needed to find Harry. It was much too quiet in the room without him, and the silence was only making him worry more.
'Cause there's no one else
Since I found you
I know it's been so hard
You should know
Harry sensed Draco before he saw or even heard him. He was right around the corner.
It must be some sixth sense of his to just know when Draco was near. Harry had had it even before they were together, back when he would always have to watch his back around the sneaky Slytherin.
Harry waited for Draco to round the corner, and smiled when his face lit with surprise. Then Draco grinned happily and threw his arms around Harry's neck, kissing him thoroughly on the lips for quite a long time before letting Harry breathe again.
Harry, panting slightly, said, "You didn't miss me much, did you?"
Draco looked embarrassed, a slight blush that hardly ever showed itself tinting his cheeks, and it was just so cute that Harry had to kiss him. The feeling of kissing Draco never seemed to get old, and Harry felt he could do it for years if he so desired.
Which he did.
Draco leaned into Harry's embrace, loving the way the Gryffindor always seemed able to hold him just the right way, and said, "Yes, I did miss you. Would you expect any less of me?"
Harry laughed. "No, I wouldn't. You can be terribly clingy at times, you know."
"I am not clingy!" Draco looked scandalized.
Harry just laughed some more. "Okay Draco, whatever you say." Harry paused, staring at Draco for a second, before whispering, "How do you always manage to appear right when I need someone to cheer me up?"
If I die tomorrow
As the minutes fade away
I can't remember
Have I said all I can say?
Draco frowned at Harry. He didn't need to ask what was wrong. Everybody had the same problem now anyway; how the war was going to end.
"You shouldn't have to do this, Harry. It's not fair." Draco said, seeing the worry all over Harry's face and knowing his must be similar.
Harry looked away. "I know. I guess it's just that damn Gryffindor in me that feels like I have to be brave and save everybody."
"I kind of like that damn Gryffindor in you. It makes me feel safe." Harry smiled at that, and pulled Draco closer to his body. "But…Harry, you can't…you can't worry about me tomorrow."
Harry blinked. "But…Draco…I can't just not worry about you…"
"I know," Draco interrupted, "but you're going to have to focus on the battle, and you can't do that if you're busy checking up on me every few seconds."
"Draco…"
"No Harry, I'm telling you now," Draco took Harry's face in his hands, and kissed him softly on the lips before continuing, "I can take care of myself. You're the one that has to kill the Dark Lord. You. So just focus on that. I'll be fine."
Harry looked skeptical.
"I can manage to take care of myself for a few hours, you know." Draco said, somewhat indignantly.
Harry laughed, though it sounded a bit sad. "I know you can Draco, it's just…I can't lose you. I can't." Harry looked away shyly as he said this. "If you're gone, I'd have to go with you, and then where would the world be?"
Draco sighed and then pulled Harry forward to kiss him on the forehead. Before him was a young man with a terrible fate, someone who didn't deserve the stress and the pain that had befallen him. None of the kids in Hogwarts, in fact, deserved to be put through this, and yet almost all of them would be involved in the final showdown tomorrow in some way. It was the kind of drama usually reserved for romance novels, where the brave hero saves the world and then runs off with the beautiful princess.
But usually, the hero isn't only 17 years old, and the princess in this case is definitely not female.
Gods, how Draco wished this never would have happened, and he could just live with Harry and forget about the rest of the world.
You're my everything
You make me feel so alive
If I die tomorrow
"Come on, let's walk." Draco said, taking Harry's hand and starting forward.
"Where are we going?" Harry asked, not letting go of Draco's soft hand as they strolled through the halls.
"You'll see." Draco whispered, as if it were a big secret. Harry just smiled, enjoying the freedom of just walking through the castle. Wondering for a moment why it all seemed so quiet, Harry brought up the hand he was holding to look at the watch on Draco's wrist.
It was a mark of how comfortable they were with each other that Draco didn't even question what Harry was doing.
"It's lunchtime." Harry said.
"Are you hungry?" Draco asked, glancing at his boyfriend as they reached the top of the marble staircase.
A mischievous smile lit Harry's face. He reached up and ran a hand through Draco's silky hair, watching as Draco closed his eyes at the touch.
"Only for you." Harry whispered, letting his hand trail down to Draco's neck and pulling him in for a kiss.
Draco gladly pressed his lips against Harry's. "Hmm…I think I could get some of that for you," he said against Harry's lips.
The two boys made their way past the slightly subdued Great Hall and down to the privacy of Draco's room.
I spent all my life
Looking at our innocence
I've got nothing to lose
One thing to prove
It didn't take long for doors to close, for silencing charms to be chanted, and for clothes to go flying into hidden corners of the room. Harry's hands once again found a home in Draco's silky hair as the Slytherin's tongue explored his mouth. They somehow made their way to the bed and fell down on it together, Harry once again loving the way Draco's body felt beneath his.
Harry's mouth found its way on to the other's neck, licking and sucking and marking Draco as his own. Gray eyes closed and a pale body shivered as Harry continued in this manner down to one of Draco's nipples. He lapped lightly at it while pulling at the other one with his fingers, earning himself a soft moan from the boy underneath him. Harry ran his hands up Draco's sides, following them up Draco's body with his mouth to engage his lover in a passionate kiss.
It seemed rushed, in a way, both of them wanting to share a moment together, perhaps even their final one, if it came to that. And yet it wasn't; in this moment, they were together, they could love each other with no interruptions, and Merlin help the person who tried to stop them now.
Draco arched up into Harry, sending both of them groaning at the wonderful friction they created. They continued like this for a good bit of time, Draco's mouth somehow always managing to find its way to Harry's neck. Both of them were panting, mouths clumsily meeting for a few open-mouthed kisses.
"Harry," Draco managed to gasp out. "I need you."
Their eyes met, fiery and darkened with lust. They stared into each other's eyes for the longest of moments, before their lips met again in a bruising kiss.
"I love you…"
I won't make the same mistakes
Now I know
That everything will be ok
If I die tomorrow
Snow blanketed the ground as it always did this time of year, so clean and pure. The soft mounds of white were undisturbed this night but for one set of footprints that had made long, curving tracks, as though they couldn't decide which way to go. The figure to whom these prints belonged had currently stopped, blank, lifeless eyes staring at the curved stone standing out of the ground in front of him.
The bright moon offered him no comfort as once brilliant, loving eyes filled with tears. He still couldn't get over it, not that he tried hard at all. How could he have let this happen? His hand clenched itself into a fist. How could he have been such a fool?
The figure felt the pain tear through his body. He let the tears fall.
"I couldn't save you," he whispered hoarsely, the tears coming faster. "I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't fucking save you!"
He sobbed loudly, falling to his knees in front of the gravestone, and the tears didn't seem to want to stop. He cried as snowflakes fell and caught in his hair, glistening like his tears did in the moonlight. His fingers reached out to grasp the cold stone, cold like the body he had found too late on the battlefield so long ago.
"I'm sorry." His voice cracked, rippled with emotion. He could taste the saltiness as tears ran into his mouth. Another sob choked him, making his throat burn. It was all his fault…
He closed his eyes.
"I love you, Draco."
If I die tomorrow