Disclaimer: I own nothing! I own nothing! (Sing along!)
A/N: In the immortal words of Han Solo, "IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" I tried to get this up Sunday, but it wouldn't let me log on for almost a week! Gomen! Anyway…Thanks to Lysia Croft (oh, yes, bad things and sad things are coming before it's done) cardcaptor eternity (short but sweet, I love that) FadeEclipse (don't encourage the muses!) and IssaLee (I love the way your mind works! But maybe he doesn't look exactly like Endymion…hmm. What's his name?) Everyone just hold on, the end is in view. You might need binoculars, but it's there.
The darkness came at her, slashing, ripping, clawing, biting, and screaming.
She spun, her hands groping through excruciating nothingness for anything to catch, anything to be used as a shield from the pain and the terror. The voices roared through her head, building into a crescendo of horror that she could not escape.
They wanted to hurt her. They wanted to rape her. They wanted to devour her.
Someone help me!
She had a family who loved her, who she loved. They would want her back. They would come for her.
Wouldn't they?
She tried to hold on to the ones she loved, but they melted away. Their faces slipped through her fingers, their voices turned into the screams of the Abyss. She could not remember their names.
Someone find me. Someone remember me.
The darkness was too deep. The pain was too much. She could not take it. Too much, too much, and her last tenuous grip on her soul began to slip. The Abyss laughed with delight, eager to taste all of her.
Then, something changed.
Something grabbed the Abyss, and with a roar more fearsome than even the dark, something pulled. The black cracked, and the Abyss released her, dragged away from her, claws leaving bloody rips in her mind. But her soul was still her own.
Where am I?
The Abyss shrieked as something sucked it into a maw of twisting shadows and light. Something tortured and anguished, something cruelly tender, inhaled the darkness, and left her battered, beaten, and whole.
Who are you?
More voices, but these voices did not hurt her, even when they became angry. These voices she loved, though she could not remember who they were.
She floated somewhere between the world and the dark. When the screams came again she was not frightened. Warmth surrounded her. Her family had come into the dark to find her, as she knew they would. The Abyss could howl all it wanted. It could not hurt her anymore.
The blinding flash of white light was the last thing she remembered, until she felt the warm-honey caress of sunlight on her face. Music tingled in the back of her head, a lilting lullaby sung by someone kind. But she could not remember the tune, and she did not think she ever knew the words.
It did not matter. She was safe. She was home.
"When the Princess wakes up…"
"…hasn't even moved…"
"…poor things."
The whispering, warm voices were a welcome relief from the screaming. She felt herself smile a tiny bit.
"…Setsuna?"
"Sleeping. Should we…?"
"Iie."
Setsuna…mama. Setsuna-mama. And that was Haruka-papa, talking to…Rei-chan?
"Mamoru? Have you slept at all?" Haruka-papa sounded tired.
"I can't. Not until she opens her eyes." Mamoru sounded worse. "Where's Michiru?"
"Making coffee. Do you want some?"
"Hai. Arigatou."
Soft, muffled footsteps walked away. Panic filled her soul, and she struggled to open her eyes.
Don't go!
The sunlight dazzled her, but she was afraid to go back into the darkness. She forced her aching jaw open. The soft wisp of a sound passed her parched lips.
"Ha…Haruka…Pa…pa."
"Haruka!" Mamoru shouted. "Michiru! Hotaru's awake!"
"Nani?"
Haruka appeared around the corner at a dead run, Michiru just a step behind. Both collapsed to their knees beside the couch, staring at her with rapt wonder.
"Oh, God," Michiru breathed, grabbing her in a tight embrace. "Oh, God. Arigatou."
"Sweetheart." A tear rolled down Haruka's cheek as she put her arms around both of them. "My beautiful daughter."
"My beautiful children…"
Hotaru looked around vaguely in confusion. Who said that?
"HOTARU!" Setsuna flung herself upon the other three Outer Senshi, laughing and crying at the same time. "Are you alright?"
Hardly able to breathe, crushed under this triple embrace, Hotaru croaked, "I'm okay." She lifted her weak arms and tried to hug all three women at once. "Mama. Papa. Mama."
"Oh, Hotaru!"
More weight was added as Minako, Rei, and Ami leapt into the tangle, kissing the littlest Senshi's hair and face, giggling with delight. Hotaru smiled as best she could, her cheeks wet from everyone's tears. Mamoru, Kunzite, Jadeite, and Zoisite hovered behind the women, grinning like fools.
"Do you need anything?" Minako asked. "Water, ice cream-"
"I'll make pancakes!" Ami offered.
"I'll make tea!" Setsuna added.
"I'll make cookies!"
"I know a good recipe for-"
"No, she wants-"
"What about-?"
"Hey!" Mamoru broke in. "How about we give her some air, and let her reorient herself?"
"Oh! Right!"
The six older women piled off her to stand around, looking down with eager expectation.
"I would like some water, please," Hotaru muttered shyly.
"Water!"
She watched in amazement as Minako and Michiru raced off to fetch her drink, banging into each other as they tried to fit through the door at the same time.
"Anything else?" Ami asked.
"I-iie. Arigatou, minna."
"You scared us," Setsuna told her, sitting on the edge of the couch. "You didn't move for almost twelve hours!"
"It's only been twelve hours!" Hotaru gasped. "I felt like I was trapped in there for years!"
"Trapped…where, Hotaru?" Rei asked, her face confused. "Inside the Creature?"
"Inside the Abyss."
No one spoke. No one moved. They all stared at her blankly.
"What do you mean?" Haruka finally asked.
"When I tried to face the Abyss," Hotaru explained, "the Silence Glaive…it exploded! There was too much evil! I couldn't siphon it away! And then, I was inside it."
"Sweet Sol," Jadeite whispered. "All that time... A whole day, and we were too foolish to see."
"See what?" Michiru asked, holding a tall glass of ice water, Minako trailing behind with a plate of toast. "What's going on?"
Haruka's head fell forward. She clenched her fists in rage. "A whole day, and I never realized you were in pain."
"What happened for a whole day?" Minako demanded.
Ami shook her head. "But that doesn't make sense. We saw you. We talked to you. You were here, with us."
"Someone was," Rei muttered, thinking. "But…was it Hotaru?"
"What do you mean?"
"Just before the fight last night, Hotaru was in the kitchen with us, talking."
"What fight?" Hotaru asked. "When?"
"And right before Michiru got so angry…" Haruka raised her eyebrows at her lover, who nodded.
Setsuna looked down, and said nothing.
"What did I do?" Hotaru wailed. "What's going on?"
Michiru sat on the arm of the couch and stroked her hair. "You didn't do anything, sweetheart. But while you were suffering, we think the Abyss was working through you to turn us against each other."
"It makes sense," Ami admitted, shrugging sadly.
"It worked on all of us, too," Zoisite said. "We all let it twist us, directly or indirectly."
"All of us, but…" Mamoru turned and looked down on the other couch.
Hotaru looked through the throng of legs and torsos to see who lay there. Usagi, eyes closed and frightfully pale, did not stir as Mamoru touched her face. Her chest barely rose and fell with her breathing. She looked like a Queen, laid out for a public viewing.
"Is she alright?" Hotaru asked softly.
Mamoru shrugged silently.
"We don't know what happened to her, exactly," Rei said, glancing furtively at Setsuna. "There was all this darkness, then she glowed and chased it away, and then she fainted. Again."
"She hasn't moved in twelve hours, either," Haruka added. "Not even a snore."
Mamoru sighed, and lowered himself to the floor beside his princess. His joy for Hotaru's awakening faded as he looked at Usagi's still face.
"She will be alright," Hotaru tried to reassure him. "She always is."
He smiled at her, a little sadly.
Hotaru reached for the glass of water, then stilled. "But, if you didn't know I was inside the Abyss, or that the Abyss was inside of me… who saved me? Who pulled it out of me?"
The rest of the room looked down at her again in alarm.
"Someone pulled the Abyss out of you?" Haruka asked.
"Hai. I thought…but then, who was it?"
Setsuna sat up very straight, her jaw dropping in shock. "Impossible! I don't believe it!"
"Nani?" everyone chorused.
"I don't understand how, or why, but I think…I think it was the Creature!"
"Why would the bad guy try to save her?" Minako asked.
"I don't know! I forgot in all that happened, but when I found Usagi, she and It were sitting together on the side of the road, talking."
"Talking?" Rei and Minako gasped.
"Hai! Just…talking. In fact, they were holding hands."
"Why?" Jadeite and Kunzite cried.
"I don't know. I didn't hear what they were saying to each other. I," her head dropped, "I wasn't paying attention."
"Is it possible?" Ami whispered. "Possible Usagi reached whatever good there is in that Creature?"
"If anyone could…" Kunzite trailed off, shrugging. "But, where does that leave us?"
"Very, very confused," Rei said. "Until she wakes up."
Hotaru struggled to sit up, and then to stand.
"Whoa! What are you doing?" Michiru cried, catching her by the arm.
"I have to know," Hotaru said, gasping around her exertion. "The Silence Glaive! Did the Abyss destroy it? Can I even transform?"
"Hai, of course, but not right now, Hotaru!" Setsuna said, adding her own pressure to Michiru's urgings.
Hotaru weakly pushed at their hands. "Please! I have to know!"
"Let her try."
Haruka reached between her lover and her adopted sister, and took one of Hotaru's hands. She pulled the small girl to her feet, then helped her to stand steady.
"She has to know, just like we would."
No one looked happy, but everyone took a step back, giving Hotaru the necessary room. She closed her eyes, reached into her pocket, and found her henshin wand. Her fingers clenched around the purple jewel as she tried to calm her racing heart.
The Abyss probably wanted me for my more powerful form. But Saturn wouldn't respond to its call! Will it answer to me?
She drew forth her wand, and called.
"SATURN CRYSTAL POWER!"
Nothing happened.
She opened her eyes, to see everyone staring in horror.
I can do this! I have to!
"SATURN CRYSTAL POWER!"
The silence, the stillness, made her heart almost stop.
Has Saturn rejected me forever? I never wanted to be the Soldier of Ruin, but I want to be a Senshi, with the other girls. I want to be a part of this family. I need to be Sailor Saturn!
She clenched the wand so tightly it bruised her palm, her tears falling onto the jewel.
"SATURN CRYSTAL POWER!"
Nothing.
"SATURN CRYSTAL POWER!"
Silence.
"SATURN-"
"Hotaru!" Michiru cried, starting towards her.
"IIE!" she screamed. "I can do this! SATURN CRYSTAL POWER!"
"Stop it, Hotaru!" Minako shouted, reaching out.
"PLEASE! SATURN CRYSTAL POWER!"
The violet gem on the end flickered.
"SATURN!" she screamed. "ANSWER ME!"
"What in the world-?" Nephrite appeared in the doorway to Mamoru's bedroom, supporting Makoto on his arm.
"I am the Soldier of Ruin!" Hotaru yelled. "The Senshi of Silence! The Warrior of Death! You will answer to me!"
"Hotaru? What's going on?" Makoto stared at them all, her mouth open in shock.
Hotaru glared at the wand, fueling all her rage, all her fear, all her desperation into the jewel.
"Please," she moaned. "I need to be…"
She closed her eyes, and thrust the wand towards the ceiling.
"SATURN CRYSTAL POWER!"
Purple light encased her. Her body glowed with the brilliance, and she cried with joy when she felt her planet symbol burned into her forehead. Violet ribbons encased her, warmth and strength filled her, and she felt, in her hands, the weight of the Silence Glaive.
I can be the Soldier of Ruin, the Senshi of Silence, the Warrior of Death. Just please, don't abandon me.
Something deep inside her heart answered. In her mind she saw colors swirling together, a beautiful planet with razor sharp rings. She was overcome by the suddenness of the warmth that filled her soul.
I am here, my daughter. I will share your burden, because I love you.
The light faded. Everyone gazed at her, grinning. Sailor Saturn looked around at all those proud faces, and burst into sobs.
"Hotaru!" Michiru cried in alarm.
"I just," she sniffed, "I was so afraid I couldn't be one of you anymore! I was away for so long! I need you all so much!"
"Oh, honey!"
Several people started towards her, murmuring reassurances, when a confused voice froze all motion.
"What's going on? Saturn, why are you transformed? Are we under attack?"
Thirteen people turned to stare.
Usagi scratched her head sleepily and looked around.
"Nani?"