That evening Joey sat across from Pacey playing cards, "I had a great time today. What are your plans for tonight?"
"Whatever you want to do," he couldn't believe how pathetic he sounded.
"I hate to keep you from anything Pacey. I can stay here by myself you know."
"I know you can, but I had no plans." Then he thought to himself, 'When do I ever have plans, besides working that is?'
"Come on, you've gotta be neglecting some beautiful girlfriend in order to spend time with me, and I won't have it."
"There is no one Jo."
Joey was glad to hear that, she knew that another woman would make her green with envy, "No one?" She grinned.
"That's what I said, no one," Pacey noticed that she seemed a little too happy about this bit of information. "Now that we've got that all cleared up, what would you like to do Ms. Potter?"
"Can we do what we did last night?" She craved to feel his touch again. She'd forgotten how much she had forgotten his gentle touch.
Hoping she wanted what he wanted, he grinned slyly and asked, "What, watch TV, that's boring." He smiled.
"Is it a bad thing that I want to curl up under a warm blanket and watch TV." All she really wanted was for him to hold her. She wanted to gaze up at him, without him realizing it.
"I'd
like that Joey. There's nothing better than relaxing with an
old friend while watching your favorite program. But before
that, I'm gonna grab some munchies." Pacey liked where
things seemed to be heading. But he couldn't help but wonder
if he was just someone to distract her thoughts of Dawson. 'Stop
that, that's why you lost her the first time.' He decided
not to think about it. He went into the kitchen and put a bag
of popcorn in the microwave. Then he reached for the phone. He
hadn't told Joey the absolute truth. There was somewhere he
was supposed to be tonight, but there wasn't a girl. His
steady source of income came from working at a local bar.
"Hey
Mike, Witter here."
"How's it going?"
"Pretty great. Actually, that's why I'm calling. I'm not going to be in tonight. I have company."
"A lady friend?"
"Yeah, and she needs me tonight."
"Just like you need her," Mike laughed, "I'm not going to argue with that. The night is yours."
"Thanks man, I really appreciate it."
Joey heard him hang up the phone and hurried out to the living room. She hadn't intended on eavesdropping, but she couldn't help it. She now knew that he had lied to her. Joey had gone into the bedroom to change into something more comfortable, a t-shirt and shorts that she could sleep in. Then she decided to see if Pacey needed any help, and that's when she heard him talking. She sat on the couch and waited for him to come back out. When he did, she waited for him to sit down before starting the questioning. "So, Pacey, when are you going to start telling me the truth?"
"What do you mean?"
"I heard you on the phone. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have eavesdropped, but I couldn't help it."
"It's not what you think Jo, really, it's not."
"Then what is it exactly? You said there wasn't anyone else. I don't want or need your pity. I just want a friend. And I thought that's what we were, friends." Joey couldn't believe how jealous she sounded. It wasn't like Pacey was really hers to claim.
"We are friends Jo. And there isn't anyone else, that's the truth…"
"Then who are you ditching for me tonight?"
"I was supposed to work. But it's no big deal because Wednesday nights are slow."
Now Joey just felt bad, "Pacey, you can't miss work, because of me. I won't let you."
"Yes, I can, and I am."
"Fine, then let me give you some money, please."
"Potter, now you're pitying me, and I don't want that anymore than you do."
"Fine, but please promise that this is the last time that you'll miss work because of me," Joey grinned, "I don't want you're friends to think that I'm a bad influence on you."
"I promise, and don't worry, my friends will find you to be a great influence." His co-workers, especially Mike, were constantly trying to set him up. He absolutely hated it. There hadn't been anyone since Joey. With that, Pacey snatched the remote from the coffee table and sat back, resting in the corner of the couch. He extended his arm across the back of the couch, inviting Joey to rest against him. She quickly slid up, leaning against him. He lowered his arm protectively around her shoulders. This felt nice.
Joey soon broke the peaceful silence between them, "Pacey, I'm sleeping on the couch tonight, I won't drive you from your bed for a third night in a row."
"I won't have it any other way. We already had this argument last night."
"Fine, I'll sleep in the bed, under one condition."
"And what would that be?"
"Well…it's a big bed," she grinned.
"No way Jo."
"Hear me out, please. It's a big enough bed. And it wouldn't be any different than that time at Aunt Gwen's."
"It's different Jo. We were in high school then, and we weren't involved. Not that we're involved now, but things are a lot more complicated."
"It won't be any different. I promise. Please Pacey."
"Alright Jo, but only because you're insisting upon it."
Joey smiled; she knew that she'd get him to agree. "Now that we've settled that, lets watch some TV."
After watching what seemed like endless hours of reruns, Pacey and Joey both were beginning to fade. "What do you say Potter? Should we surrender to a more comfortable resting place?"
She didn't bother mentioning that she was quite comfortable at the moment, "Sure thing Pacey."
Slowly they both stood up and tromped down the hall to the bedroom. Joey, having changed earlier, crawled into bed. Grinning, she watched Pacey strip down to his boxers. He still has a great body. She shifted her gaze as she crawled into bed as well. "Goodnight Pacey."
"Goodnight Joey."
Pacey woke up the next morning when the phone rang. As he groggily reached for the phone, he noticed that Joey had her arms wrapped around him. He moved slowly so not to wake her. "Hello."
"Is Josephine Leery available please?"
Pacey was confused at first, who knew she was here. Then it dawned on him, Dawson. "I'm sorry, you must have the wrong number."
"Listen Pacey, it's Dawson, and I know she's there. Now let me talk to her."
"You're right Dawson, she is here, but she's sleeping. And even if she were awake, I doubt she would want to talk to you. But, I'll gladly take a message."
"No message. I'll call back." Dawson really didn't know what he would have said to her, but at least he knew for sure now where she was.
Pacey hung the phone up and pulled the covers back up around himself. He fell back asleep, thinking about everything that was unfolding before him.
When she heard the
phone ring, Joey didn't move a muscle. She stayed attached to
Pacey as he answered it. By the way his body seemed to tense
up, she could tell, even before his name was said, that Dawson was
the person on the other end. She really didn't feel like
talking to him, so she was relieved that Pacey didn't try to wake
her. Even after he laid back down, his body remained tense.
It wasn't until he was asleep again that he seemed to relax a
little bit. Was he worried about her? She waited until he was
sound asleep before creeping out of bed. She didn't want to
leave his warmth, but she had to get up and think. A lot of stuff had
happened recently in her life.
As she walked into the kitchen Joey
noticed that it was almost 8:00. She put on a pot of coffee and
decided to make an attempt at breakfast…her cooking skills had not
improved over time. Scrounging through the cupboards and
refrigerator, she found the makings for pancakes…the one thing she
could make without much trouble.
Joey set the table for Pacey and
herself between flipping the pancakes. Once everything was
done, she was surprised that Pacey wasn't up yet. The smell
of coffee alone used to wake him up. Not wanting to eat without
him, and too hungry to wait, she decided to go wake him up. Walking
into the bedroom, she noticed that Pacey had barely moved since she'd
left him. Joey crawled onto the bed and leaned over him and
whispered in his ear, "Pacey."
Stirring ever so slightly, "Hmm…"
"Time to get up sleepy head."
"Give me a few more minutes."
"Fine, I'll just eat the pancakes by myself."
That caught his attention, "You made pancakes! I love your pancakes."
She knew that he truly did love her pancakes. "Then you'd better get out of bed if you want any."
Pacey sat up and hung his feet over the side of the bed. "Give me a minute and I'll be out."
"Sure thing. I'll save you a couple." She walked out of the room and sighed, the sight of his bare chest, especially after all these years of not being near him, made her heart skip a beat.
Pacey watched her stroll out of the bedroom. He thought about the way she had woken him up. How could he have been so stupid? It was the spontaneous, yet so predictable things like that that he'd been missing the past seven years. The morning air was a little chilly, so he pulled on his robe as he headed to the kitchen. He saw her patiently sitting at the table, waiting. She looked so beautiful. "What got you up so early Jo?"
"The phone woke me up. And I had some thinking to do."
A slight memory lapse made him ask, "Who called? I didn't…" Suddenly he remembered, "Oh, you heard me talking to Dawson, huh?"
"Yeah, I did. Thanks for not making me talk to him. I didn't think he'd call. I thought we said all that needed to be said."
"He said he'd call back, but didn't say when."
"That's fine. How'd you sleep last night?"
"Great, and yourself?"
"Like a baby. It was nice to have you to cuddle with."
For the time being he decided to bypass the conversation that could come from that single sentence. "What did you think about while you were out here making your wonderful pancakes?"
"The future and what lies ahead for u… me," she almost slipped up. That wouldn't have been the best thing for her to do right now.
Not quite sure that he wanted to hear this, "What do you see in store for yourself?"
"I'm hoping that the divorce goes through quickly. I don't want a lot, so that should help."
"Now Jo, don't cheat yourself, just because you want things to be over quick. Take everything you deserve."
"Don't worry Pacey, I've been thinking about this for a long time now. I'm going to get everything that I want and deserve." She grinned at him devilishly. Only she knew that she was talking not just about what she would get from the divorce. She was praying that she would also get the one thing, rather person, that she'd wanted since high school – Pacey.
"If you don't mind me asking, what is it that you're gonna fight for? The Joey I know has never been concerned with money."
"You're right Pacey, I'm not worried about the money. We have a house in Montana…one that Dawson never really wanted, accompanied by 20 acres of land. I also want my Wrangler, all of my clothes and personal possessions, and $10,000."
Pacey couldn't believe how little she wanted, yet compared to what she started with, it was a lot. "You two have really made it big, haven't you."
"We lived comfortably. But, all that money can change a person and make you lonely." She decided that she didn't want to hide her true feelings anymore. "You want to know what else Pacey. I haven't changed much since you left me high and dry seven years ago. I live somewhere different and have more money, but that's it. I really don't have what I want though. And without that, I'm not happy… and won't be."
"So do I dare ask what it is that you want, and can't live without?" Somehow he knew, or at least knew what he hoped, her answer was going to be. He could just sense it.
"I'll tell you what I want. Once, seven years ago, I thought I finally had everything I needed. Then suddenly, my entire way of life was changed. Now, I once again have within my reach what it is that I want." All of the sudden she couldn't tell him that what she wanted was him. "Happiness is what I want Pacey." Tears were welling up in Joey's eyes. She couldn't believe that she had chickened out. That really wasn't what she had wanted to say. She wanted to tell him that he's what she wants, but she just couldn't.
Pacey felt like crying himself. He had really wanted Joey to say that she wanted him. Once again, he'd gotten his hopes up. There was only one thing he could say, "Joey, I'm sorry, I really am, I never meant to cause you unhappiness. I'm glad that you're going to get everything you want. I'm glad that you'll be happy once the divorce is final." Pacey stood up and headed towards the bedroom. But first he stopped to look at Joey. She was sitting at the table sobbing; he hated to see her cry. He decided that he needed to leave the house, go somewhere to think about what he was feeling. Quickly he got dressed and scribbled a note to Joey that he left on the pillow. If he knew her like he once did, she'd crawl into bed and stay there all day.
Jo-
I
went out for a while. Had a few errands to run.
Be back
later.
Pacey
Pacey remembered suddenly that the previous day was payday at the bar, so that's where he headed, slamming the front door behind him.
"Damn him," Joey muttered when she heard the door slam. Once again, he seemed to be running away rather than facing his problems and fears. She pushed herself away from the table and stood up, surveying the mess surrounding her. "I'll clean up later," she said out loud. She remembered that she had a new book in her suitcase that she'd been waiting to read. She went into the bedroom, planning to spend the better part of the day in bed reading.
Joey dug through her suitcase and found the book. Still in her pajamas, she crawled under the cover on Pacey's bed. Opening the book, she began to read, only to shut the book as quickly as she'd opened it. Lying there in Pacey's bed, she realized that she could smell him. It was a scent she'd never forgotten. Joey snuggled down into the pillows in an effort to engulf herself in the familiar scent. All of the sudden, she found herself daydreaming. How would her life be different if Pacey had never left? She could picture it now… four great kids; a beautiful, modest home; happily married and an established artist able to work out of the house while raising her family.
Joey suddenly found herself remembering when Pacey left.
Joey woke up and rolled over to look at Pacey. She loved to watch him sleep. However, she found herself to be alone. She sat up and looked around, hoping to see Pacey. Instead she spotted a yellow rose lying on her desk. She got out of bed and walked over to her desk where she found his evil note. She started to cry, and just couldn't stop.
Joey awoke when the phone rang, and lunged for it, "Pacey!"
"Nope, it's Jen,"
"Oh," Joey felt the flood gates begin to open again.
"Joey, are you alright? It's 6:30, and we're worried because you guys aren't here for dinner yet."
She looked at the clock, and realized that she must have at one point cried herself to sleep, "I'm not going to make dinner tonight Jen. I'm not up to it."
"What's wrong Joey?" She could tell that Joey was upset. Then, remembering how she'd answered the phone, "Joey, where's Pacey?"
All of the sudden, Joey burst out crying again, "He…he's…g, g, gone."
"What do you mean he's gone?"
Joey took a deep breath, "He left me," then burst into sobs.
"I'll be right there Joey.
Jen arrived about 15 minutes later, "Joey, let me in."
Joey pulled open the door and was immediately embraced in a hug.
"Joey, tell me what happened."
"We stayed here last night, and when I woke up he was gone," noticing that Jen was going to make an argument in his defense, she continued, "I saw a yellow rose laying on my desk, and there was a note under it." She handed the note to Jen.
Jen read it quickly, "That bastard. You'll be fine Jo. We'll get through this."
Joey
had managed to subside her crying, "But I don't want to. I
want him." She started to cry again.
Jen
took her into her arms, "I'm going to help you through this Jo.
I promise."
Two weeks later, she hadn't gotten any better. Joey was still depressed. And Jen and Dawson were worried about her. When she wasn't crying, she was throwing up. Finally they forced her to go see a doctor. Jen had gone with her. He said that her depression was normally, especially given all of the circumstances. And in fact, so was her sickness.
Joey
looked at him in confusion, "How is puking normal in cases of
depression?"
"Oh,
it's not. But it is in the case of pregnancy. And that would
also partially explain the constant crying. You're hormones
are going through an extreme imbalance and are working overtime."
She
looked at Jen, then back at the doctor, "Pregnant?"
"Yes
Josephine."
She
started to cry again. Jen put her arm around Joey and then looked at
the doctor, "Thank you very much."
Joey of course told Dawson. Needless to say, he had been none too happy. But then they decided, or at least he decided and she just followed his lead that they should get married, and do so before she started to show.
Just then the phone rang and Joey was quickly brought back to reality. She didn't know if she should answer it or not. What the hell, maybe it's Pacey. "Hello. Witter residence," she said the last part just in case it was a friend who might think they had the wrong number.
"Joey?"
Damn, it's Dawson, "Yes, Dawson?"
"How are you?"
"Great actually," he never knew how to get to the point, "I feel very liberated."
"That's great Jo. I'm calling, because I wanted to tell you that I'll be back in LA in two weeks. If you're still there, that's fine. I know that that's earlier than you expected."
"Thanks, good-bye Dawson." She hung up the phone. She hoped that things with him would be finished with quickly so that she could begin to think about how to handle her current situation with Pacey.
Joey decided that she needed to talk to someone. She picked up the phone, dialed and let it ring, waiting for someone to answer.
"Hello?"
"Jen, is that you?"
"Joey, Ohmigod. How are things? Where are you? I thought you were going to be gone for a few weeks yet."
"Yeah, well plans change."
"You've cast the movie already?"
"No, but I'm heading home."
"Really. And Dawson agreed to that?"
"He didn't have a choice. I left him yesterday."
"I'm happy for you Jo. How's he taking it?"
"Surprisingly well actually."
"And Cody?"
"He doesn't know yet. He's at home."
"Where are you at?"
"I'm still in Kansas City. Actually, that's the real reason I called. Guess who I ran into?" Not giving Jen a chance to respond, "Pacey Witter."
"Really," Jen tried to act surprised, but she had known that he was there. She had been keeping secrets from both of her friends. "How is he?"
"He seems to be doing good. But Jen, I saw him and my heart melted. I still love him. And I think he feels the same way. I just don't know how to tell him about a certain 6-year-old secret."
That was the other thing she had wanted to tell Pacey earlier. But, she couldn't bare to tell him about Cody. Not yet anyway. She didn't want to him to feel obligated to help her, and their son. She'd managed all these years. It was hard though. He looked so much like Pacey did growing up. That was another reason why she had packed away all of the pictures of her past. Dawson had come to accept Cody as his own. They didn't need for Cody to start asking questions and digging up the past. She knew that he hated hearing her and Dawson fight but this would still be hard on him. He has no reason to believe that Dawson isn't his real dad. And he's going to find out as soon as he meets Pacey, which is only a matter of time now.
"Cody. You have to tell both of them. They deserve to know."
"But I don't want Cody to get hurt if Pacey's just going to run again. I also don't want his pity."
"Give him a chance Jo. He may surprise you. But, don't worry. The time will come to tell them both."
"Thanks Jen."
"No problem."
7