Disclaimer: I don't own RD or the theme tune or anything.
Right well had this idea when talking to Sian and she got me to write it, the first chapter might have originally been longer but this makes it a nice short intro (musical is the story of what happened when they lost Red Dwarf) Now before you read on there's only one thing to say "Oh GAWD! - She's not starting ANOTHER one?)
Red Dwarf – The Musical
Cat is laid on Lister's top bunk filing away at his nails as the curtain comes up. He closes his eyes and opens them as a spotlight focuses on him. He smiles and jumps down gracefully. He struts over to the window and looks outside into space.
"It's cold outside there's no kind of atmosphere.
I'm all alone –" (Light flicks on revealing Lister, Rimmer and Kryten in tableau in the Drive room, with Holly on a nearby screen)
"- More or less." (Lights fade from Drive room)
"I'd like to fly far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun." (Performing dance routine throughout)
(Jumps onto top bunk and faces audience)
"I'd like to lay shipwrecked and comatose,
Drinking fresh mango juice –" (Mimes drinking from a glass and swings his legs over the bunk.)
"Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes," (Waves feet delicately and jumps down from bunk, walks towards exit of sleeping quarters, clicking fingers in time to music.)
"Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun." (Voice grows to whisper)
"Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun…"
"Cat come on, we've been waiting for the drive room for 10 minutes – get a move on." Lister insisted in a slightly annoyed voice as he entered the quarters and ran into Cat.
"Don't rush me ok? Like I'd be interested in anything you lot have come up with – unless it includes colour coordination."
"I'll colour coordinate your face back and blue if you don't hurry up!" Lister warned as he pushed Cat out of the room. (Light fades on sleeping quarters)