PROLOGUE
"Are you ready for a whole new series?" asked a man in a very expensive business suit. The other man looked up. He was wearing sunglasses and had short, black hair. "Another series? Get stuffed," replied Jeff Probst, the host of all previous Survivors. "I always get the raw end of the stick... how come the winners of Survivor get the million while I get the forty-thousand? I litrally do the same shit the other fags do..." Jeff continued, his face red with anger. "Well... we could always go to Mark Burnett. Who knows? Maybe he can bend the rules a bit for the next series? Maybe he will pay you more for originality?"
So both the man in the suit and Jeff walked into Mark Burnett's very comfy CBS office. "What is it now, Jeff?" asked Mark, who was smoking a cuban cigar and reading the lastest issue of Better Homes And Gardens. Jeff cleared his throat. "I was wondering if we could... you know, bend the rules for our next Survivor series? We can try and make it more original... make more money," Jeff said hurridly. The man in the suit nodded in agreement. Mark put down his magazine and looked at Jeff closely. "Hang on... thats a great idea! How come I never thought of it before?" asked Mark in astonishment. Jeff beamed with pride. "We can add a unique twist to the already twisted Survivor series!" the man in the suit said. "Hmm... adding a person like Russell Coight... or Super Mario to the series would make it more 'fun'," he continued, beaming with pride himself. "Russell Coight? But he's in Australia! And Super Mario? What have you been smoking? He's a video game character, not a real person!" Mark replied, taking another puff of his cigar.
"Mario is real, and so is a whole heap of other people you might not of thought were," the suited man said. He pulled out his mobile phone and dialled a few numbers. "...Hello, send him here... yes, that him, the plumber in the red... all his mates too, send them here..." the man said into his phone. "What's he playing at?" Mark mouthed out to Jeff. Jeff shrugged in reply. Five minutes past before the door opened, and in came Mario in his red overalls and all. The cigar dropped out of Mark's mouth in shock. "He's real?" asked Mark, confused. "I thought he was a video game character, or something. My daughter plays him quite alot, apparently," Jeff said to Mark. Mario looked around, appearing confused. "What am I doing here? I was-a called up here by-a security," he said in his Italian accent. Mark chuckled. "Well I don't know what you did, but well done!" Mark said to the man in the suit. "So..." Mark said, pointing his stubby finger at Mario, "Do you know the rules to Survivor?" he asked. Mario nodded. "I was-a watching an episode a couple of days ago. It-a looked fun," Mario said, nodding again. Mark picked up his cigar and held out his hand for a handshake, in which Mario accepted obligingly. "Nice to have you apart of the show... it's no girls scout camp, mind you," Mark said hastily before showing Mario the door. "Goodbye," Mario said excitedly.
Russell Coight, an Australian outback adventure, famous for his blunt stupidity and his own television show, got a suprise phone call from the CBS headquarters in the United States of America. "G'day," Russell said grudgingly, fanning himself with his hat. "Um, hello. This is Mark Burnett, from CBS America. Do you wish to take part in Survivor, series twelve?" asked Mark. Russell squinted at his surroundings. "What... your breaking up, I can't here you," replied Russell, with his phone making crackling noises. Mark held his phone, then groaned. "Do YOU wish TO take PART in SURVIVOR TWELVE?" Mark shouted into his phone. Russell squinted again. "You want to bomb my car? Sorry, I need my car... I can't let you do that," he replied. Mark groaned again. "Let me do it," Jeff said angrily. "Hello, hello? I have it working now," Russell said. Jeff placed the phone to his ear. "Russell... do you want to appear on Survivor twelve?" he asked. "Survivor twelve?" asked Russell, "Yeah, maybe I can show the world my outback skills," Russell said, smiling. Jeff turned to Mark, then smiled. "I got to him," Jeff said.
Over the same week Mark Burnett called up a few other people, including William Petterson, otherwise known as Gill Grissom from CBS's own CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. He was very willing to appear on Survivor, claiming that "Survivor was his absolute favourite TV show (apart from CSI)," and that "Mark Burnett's wife is a sneaky bitch." The man in the suit, who's name is Charlie, managed to get hold of Sonic the Hedgehog and a few other video game characters, claiming that "They are not really video game characters, just unpaid people," and Jeff managed to persuade Mark into adding some of his new concepts to the new series of Survivor.
"All I can tell you," Mark Burnett said to the readers of this story, "is that there will be three teams of four, wierd concepts and deadly endings to those who get evicted. Stay tuned for the first episode, which will be shown very soon."