A/n: Well, this chapter was a long time coming. I hope I get this one out sooner than the other one. Oh, and btw, that long section of Italics is a Flashback. (Kind of obvious, but just thought I'd say something.) This may be really sad… This involves everything leading up to October 31, 1981, and Voldemort's so-called "downfall", so this won't be happy.

The Couples Writer: No one reads this one or "Sirius and Remus – the Modern Era". Everyone reads the first one, "Sirius and Remus – the Marauders Era". I have quite a few reviews on that one. Thank you so much for your compliments! I really appreciate it. Nah, I'm not into writing NC-17 stories (which is what this one would be if I had gone into anymore detail). Anyway, I'm glad you like my story. I hope you keep reading!
Nolwe the Lady Dragon: Well, I'm glad you like! More to come! Won't be happy, though… Thanks for reading!

Chapter 4

Over the next year or so, Sirius and Remus didn't get to see each other as much as they wanted. Sirius was working a lot, and often very tired after work. Remus, on the other, couldn't seem to keep a job. He had already lost 2, and hadn't been hired for another one. Every time Sirius came over, he and Remus would make love for hours until they no longer could. They missed each other so much. Yet, each was becoming a little… suspicious of the other. Remus hardly ever went out of his house, and no one saw him very much, and he seemed to be making excuses for times when all others thought he was able to come. Sirius, or so Remus believed, came over less often that he was able to and was becoming estranged from everyone.

Unfortunately, he was the only one who believed that. The others (Sirius, Peter, James and Lily) all suspected Remus. Peter sometimes made excuses and left suddenly with a strange excuse each time as to why he was leaving. But no one suspected him. He had always been real shy and secluded, and plus, he was a weak and not a powerful person, so naturally, no one could possibly believe that he could be the spy. I mean, come on, who in their right minds would let Peter in their ranks? This is what they believed.

However, regardless of their fears, Remus and Sirius still loved each other more than anything. Neither could bare the thought of the other being hurt. Even if one of them was the spy, they would always love each other. Sirius, although secretly he did suspect Remus, always was in denial. Even though he, and James, and Lily (and Peter) believed it was Remus, he always defended him, and never wanted to believe it. But they were right… It was possible… Anything was possible… Sirius even remembered when it was first brought up and how mad he got…

They, Peter, James, Lily, and Sirius, were sitting around talking about what James and Lily were going to do about Voldemort and all. James and Lily told them what they were going to do, which was having someone be their secret-keeper. (No word was said of whom at this moment, reasons unknown.) After a while, it was agreed, and Sirius said what he thought he was going to do. "Great. I'm going to tell Remus."

 James stopped him as he was trying to get up, and said, "No, Sirius, I don't think that's a good idea."

Sirius looked at him strangely and said, "Why?"

"Well, we have reasons to believe that he's the spy."

"What?" Sirius said. "That's ridiculous. He couldn't – He wouldn't –"

"He can. Anyone can." James said.

Peter started talking rattling off a bunch of reasons, and the moment he started to insult (which was about 5 seconds into his speech), Sirius stood up very fast and grabbed Peter around the collar. "What are you saying?" He growled. "You say another word, and I swear on my life, I'll kill you."

James and Lily immediately jumped up. James ran over, and put his hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Woah, hey, Sirius, stop, he's right!"

That had stopped him right there.

"What?" He said, sadness dripping from his voice, reflecting in his eyes. What is going on here? He had thought. Why is everyone turning against Remus? "How could you think that?"

"If you'll only listen for a moment, you'll understand why." James said calmly, his hand still on Sirius' shoulder.

Suddenly Peter went pale and excused himself, saying he had something important he had to do immediately. Lily also excused herself by saying that she wanted to check up on Harry. Meanwhile, Sirius just kept staring at James.

"Listen, Sirius –" James started.

"How could you?" Sirius broke in. "How-"

"Listen, Sirius," James interrupted, taking his hand off of Sirius' shoulder, "just listen to me. Remus has been acting strangely. He hardly ever visits anymore, and when he does, he always leaves." James continued with more excuses for Remus' behavior. "You can't deny that he hasn't been acting strange."

Sirius took his eyes of James and stared at the floor, and the brought his gaze up back to James again. "He wouldn't do that. He couldn't!"

"He can do anything Sirius." James remarked. "But why wouldn't he?"

"He just wouldn't!" Sirius cried. "It's not like him!"

"What do you mean it's not like him? How do you know? People have been betrayed and fooled before by people who they once trusted, why is Remus is any different?" James said, giving valid reasons.

His eyes left James'. Sirius listen to James' words, and had to admit, he had a point. Sirius had already noticed it, but refused to believe it. "He just wouldn't, James, he wouldn't. He wouldn't do that." Sirius' firm resolve and never-breaking emotional barriers (which made it that he was the strong one, and hardly ever cried) were starting to break, and his eyes started brimming with tears.

"Why wouldn't he? Why?" James said, his voice rising, honestly wanting the answer, although he was sure he already knew it. "Why wouldn't he? Tell me! Is it because you love him? Is that why?"

Sirius walked over to the nearby wall, and slid back down so he was sitting on the floor, and lost it completely. He did something that he only done once, and that was back in his 7th year. He cried.

James came over to him and stood over him. "Tell me, Sirius, why is he immune to Voldemort's evil, huh?" His voice now calmer because of his friend's emotional state. "Why?"

"Because he simply wouldn't do that. It's just not him. It's not in his nature." Sirius said, his voice covering up none of his emotions. "He wouldn't."

"Why, Sirius? Why wouldn't he?" James asked yet again. "Is it because you love him?" Sirius looked up at him this time. "Do you believe that he's immune to all this simply because you're in love with him?"

Sirius' resolve and strength left further if that was possible. "Yes." He cried at last. "Yes. I believe that because I love him and he loves me, that he would never do that. It would hurt me, and he would never do that."

"Sirius, I hate to tell you this, but that does not make anyone immune to anything." James said kindly.

"I know." Sirius said, still crying. "But I wish it did. I love him. It's not fair!"

James smiled sympathetically. "I know, I know it's not."

"I've thought of this before." He said. "I've noticed it all, and it kills me to suspect him, but… I can't think of anyone else…"

"I know, I feel the same way." James said, sighing. "If it makes you feel any better, you can tell him. He's still my friend and has a right to know. We still don't know who exactly it is yet, only that it's someone." Sirius smiled thankfully at him, but continued to cry.

Sirius put his head on his knees and cried for a little while and James got up and left him alone. When Sirius got control of himself, he left.

It was a couple months later that a secret-keeper was chosen, and then a week or so after that when the "switch" was made, unbeknownst to Remus, of course… James, Peter, Sirius, and Lily knew, but not him. They felt him "untrustworthy", and didn't tell him…

It was a day before the full moon which was to happen on Halloween. Remus was in his room, minding his own business, when he heard a knock on his door. On his bedroom door. Very few people had that right. Hell, very few saw him or communicated with him, so of course it was those few that just waltzed into his house, and no one hardly ever visited him so close to the full moon.

When Remus opened the door, it was Sirius. "Sirius!" Remus cried. "What are you doing here?"

"To see you, of course." Sirius replied charmingly.

Remus smirked playfully at him. "I figured that, but why?"

"What, I have to have a reason to come and visit my lover?" Sirius asked. Remus smiled at him, and Sirius sighed. "I came to talk to you, among other things."

"Talk? About what?" Remus asked, letting him in.

Sirius gave a sad smile, and said, "Remus, I hate to say this, but I don't think we're going to be seeing each other very much after this."

Remus gave a sad smile of his own. "I know."

"I'm going to go into hiding soon, which means that I won't be able to see you or contact you very much at all." Sirius said, tilting Remus' head up so he could look into his eyes.

"This isn't fair." Remus said.

Sirius smiled in understanding. "I know it's not, I agree, but it's not like I have a choice."

"I know." The reason went unsaid between them.

Remus started crying, and Sirius took him into his arms, trying to fight tears of his own. "We love each other. It just isn't fair!"

Sirius held Remus out at arms length and looked into eyes. How can these feelings be fake? He thought, looking at the sadness, love, and sincerity reflected in his lover's hazel eyes. How can he fake these feelings? It just not possible!  "I know it's not fair, love, but these things happen." With that, he took Remus back in arms again, just basking in feel of them together and the feel of him in his arms. Life really wasn't fair… It just wasn't. Sirius stepped out of his and Remus' embrace a little and kissed him passionately.

Remus was surprised. When Sirius broke the kiss, Remus looked at him in shock. "Sirius, what – why did you do that?"

The look in Sirius' eyes said it all.

Remus gasped again, backing away. "Sirius, no! I can't! Well, I can, but I won't! I refuse! I never get… intimate… so close to the full moon. I can't control myself, you know that!"

"Yes, I know that," Sirius said, "but, I'm not going to see you very much if at all after this."

The look on Remus' face still said that he was very adamant about doing that so close to the full moon. It wasn't like after the full moon when he was too tired to do anything, before… He just simply couldn't control the urges…

Sirius cupped Remus' face with his hands. "Please, love, I've never asked this of you before, and I wouldn't now if I knew I was going to see you again next week."

Remus still looked at him, saying without words that he wouldn't, it simply went against his nature to do so. But when Sirius bent down and kissed him, and looked deeply into his eyes, Remus couldn't say no… Sirius had a point… All he said was, "Oh, Sirius," and then with the next kiss, it didn't stop there. Sirius ran his hand down Remus' back, basking in their fiery passion, and then ran his hand underneath Remus' shirt feeling his soft skin beneath. Next, while keeping his hand underneath Remus' shirt, he brought his hand his chest, feeling Remus physically shudder as Sirius ran his hand over the many scars that adorned his flesh. Sirius took his hand out from underneath, and with his other hand unbuttoned Remus' shirt and threw it down on the floor.

"Take off my shirt." Sirius said, breaking their kissing momentarily.

"Alright," Remus said, breaking the kissing momentarily as well. Of course, Remus didn't stop there, and neither did Sirius. Remus was smart enough to know what Sirius would further ask of him, and with the werewolf's urges, he was unable to think straightly when he got aroused or excited, so he just followed his desire.

They undressed each other, all the while running their hands along each others bodies, feeling and touching before removing, all the while stepping towards the bed. When they got there, Sirius pushed Remus on the bed.

Between all their kissing, and touching, and "such", Sirius noticed that Remus was much more… passionate, and physical, and rough than he usually was. Sirius broke their "activities" and looked at him, and said, "You're so much more aggressive than usual."

"I warned you." Remus said huskily, another something new. Sirius spoke like that when aroused usually. Remus, however, usually spoke breathlessly. Sirius now thought of what Remus had told him back in their 7th year. "Right before the full moon, I simply can't control myself."

"Makes it more interesting for me." Sirius said, smiling.

"Shut up." Remus said, kissing him, and Sirius didn't think about how unusual that was for Remus to say something like that.

They went on, and had a most wonderful night.

The next morning, as Sirius was getting ready to leave, Remus awoke. Sirius went over to him and kissed him lightly. "I have to go. Never forget that I love you."

"I won't." Remus replied tiredly.

"You don't regret last night, do you?"

"Nope." Remus said. "And I sure hope that I never will."

Sirius smiled, and said, "You won't." They kissed again, and Sirius said, "I won't be able to see for quite sometime, and doubt that I will be able to owl you either."

The sadness that had not been present in Remus eyes before now returned. "I know," he said sadly.

Sirius kissed Remus again, smiled sadly, and reluctantly left, regretting it every step of the way. Life just isn't fair…

I love him…

Remus thinking, Why me, why us? I love him…It's not fair…

Nothing's ever fair that happens to me…

A/n: * sniff* I nearly made myself cry writing that. That was so sad… Well, I hope you enjoyed it, and it only gets worse from here… Oh, and btw, with the sex scene, just let your imagination go wild. I don't care…