-Two months later-
Catch me as I fall Say you're here and it's all over now Speaking to the atmosphere No one's here and I fall into myself This truth drives me Into madness I know I can stop the pain If I will it all away.
(If I will it all away…)
My throwing up problem was getting worse, it went to throwing up once a day to two times a day too, after every meal. Sometimes I would throw up till a saw blood, then feel happier about myself, say to myself "Good girl" or "Good work!" Or sometimes during my meals I didn't eat at all...I would cut my food up into small little pieces, then after all the time I was cutting it up, I would put my fork down and announce "I'm not hungry anymore." And then others would say I didn't even eat anything. I would shake my head like 'whatever…' Thinking you could never, ever understand. See I was even in ballet class, where I loved to dance, and they would see your weight. Before I started throwing up, they would say if I lost about 2 pounds, it would be better, then yell NEXT! to the person behind me. I loved to dance. It was something to get my mind off everything.
Don't turn away (Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide (Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes (God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light (Never sleep never die)
I'm frightened by what I see But somehow I know That there's much more to come Immobilized by my fear And soon to be Blinded by tears I can stop the pain If I will it all away (If I will it all away)
When I woke up this morning we had a mission, it was this big lizard like thing that was trying to eat all of the kids toys and stuff. Weird...Numbuh 2 threw something at it. I could hear Numbuh 2 yell, "Now what's going on?!?" looking through the smoke that Numbuh 2 caused when he threw something at the lizard. I think it was a bomb. I could hear Numbuh 4 say, "I think you pissed it off..." Then out of no where, the big lizard's tail hit Numbuh 2. A scream escaped from my throat. I started to run for my life. I jumped behind a rock and watch everything from there. The smoke cluttered the air. It was getting harder to breathe, every time I would try and take some air in my small lungs, it would sting my throat and lungs so bad I had to cough. It was like being in space with nothing to breathe, so there for you would die, up there in the cold dark atmosphere. Numbuh 1 saved us all. He had a backup plan, it was a big machine with this purple shiny paint. Numbuh 1 commanded it to fire. I made a little sound and ducked. I put my arms over my head. Then heard a big boom. Gross green stuff went all over the place. I got a little in my hair. YUCK! This was so gross...I got out of my hiding spot and seen all the others in alot of green stuff. I just started to giggle. "Who are YOU laughing at, Numbuh 3????" Numbuh 4 said to me with his arms out trying not to get more into a mess. I pointed at him. "YOU!SILLY!" I laughed. But all of the sudden I had a gross tasted in my mouth...really gross. I gagged. And spit something out. It was all green looking. EW! THAT WAS IN MY MOUTH?! I heard laughing. I looked up from the yucky green stuff to Numbuh 4. He was laughing harder then I have ever seen him laugh. But I was as mad as an angry hornet. I picked up some green stuff, getting ready to attack my 'victim', like a hornet would and threw it right back at Numbuh 4, hitting him in the face also. We were all having fun throwing the gross green stuff till Numbuh 1 told us it was time to go back to the treehouse. I was kinda sad, but also really tired.
Fallen angels at my feet Whispered voices at my ear Death before my eyes Lying next to me I fear She beckons me Shall I give in Upon my end shall I begin Forsaking all I've fallen for I rise to meet the end
Later that night, I was cutting up my food, in small pieces again. I didn't notice Numbuh 4 watching me till he spoke up. "Numbuh 3, what the in the crud are you doing????" I stopped and looked over at him. He was leaning over to see my plate. His food was half way eaten, but I knew he was still going to eat more of it. I looked at my plate. "I'm cutting my food up...what's wrong with that???" "What's wrong with it??? It's weird! That's what's wrong with it! Your starting to get weird about food!" Weird? Starting to get weird about food?? IT TOOK HIM THAT LONG TO SEE THAT!!!???"SO?!" I yelled. "Is there a problem, the way I cut up my food? Huh?? I just don't like it in big pieces okay???" I said glaring at him. "Well ah don't care! Ah would like to see you eat, ya know! You're getting thinner and thinner!" He yelled at me. Inside I was smiling when he said I was getting thinner. "IM ON A DIET! I HAVE TO BE FOR MY BALLET CLASS!" It was 'till then I remember our friends were still at the table when Numbuh 5 spoke up "Numbuh 5 thinks you guys should SHUT UP! Now it has been weird about the way you have been eatin' Numbuh 3. We just wanna make sure your okay." She said pointing her fork at me. I picked up my plate and stood up. "Well I'm fine. Okay??" I stood up and started to walk to my room but Numbuh 4 stopped me. "Now where ya goin????" "I'm going to my room, if you don't mind!" I yelled and ran out of the room. When were they going to leave me along about this??
Don't turn away (Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide (Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes (God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light (Never sleep never die)
I'm frightened by what I see But somehow I know That there's much more to come Immobilized by my fear And soon to be Blinded by tears I can stop the pain If I will it all away
When I got to my room, I went into my bathroom, and ran the water over my plate. I watched all my food go down the drain. I stopped the water and just left my plate there. I sat on my bed and watch out the window. The snow was looking a light kinda blue in the night. Slowly falling to the ground, or the branches. When it hit the window it would melt into a little drop of cold water. I thought of myself as being a snow flake. This is what will happen: You'll be in the air, flying around happy, not noticing your falling, maybe cuz you're not yet. You will see this beautiful city under you, the light looks like they're shining like angles at a dinner, you fly over the city, and before you know it, your out in the middle of no where. You can still see the angles at dinner (the city) in the distance. But a big wind hits you, you go spinning, your world is spinning, everything is a blur now. Then you finally stop. There is no more wind to hold you up anymore. You can't fly...You start to fall. You try to scream but you can't because you're only a little snow flake. You're falling to your death like a falling angel. Then you hit the ice cold ground. When you hit the ground, it's like a million ice cold knifes hitting your back. You open your eyes and see you're part of the rest of the fallen angels....No one will notice you now, because you look like everything else. You can cry as much as you want to, but no one will see you because you're nothing. Just a snow flake in its pain. Then you will see a bright light (the sun) the next day. You will start to melt away, along with the others, like seeing your life flash before your eyes. And the next time there is a snow fall, there will just be another little white snow flake that will take your place, and fall in your place....
Fallen angels at my feet Whispered voices at my ear Death before my eyes Lying next to me I fear She beckons me Shall I give in Upon my end shall I begin Forsaking all I've fallen for I rise to meet the end
I snapped out of my trance, still thinking about my snow flake story...where am I then? In the story? Am I still happy? Flying over the lights that look like heaven? Or am I flying away from it? Or could I be spinning? Where the wind just hits me...I know I can't be falling yet. And I'm not dead yet, right..? Where am I....Where's my place in this little story of mine? Maybe I don't know my place...But will I find out? I would have to…I shook my head. Stupid thoughts! I sigh and look out the window again, still thinking about my story I just made up...Wondering what it's like to be a snow flake. To be in the air, feeling like an angel, but all for nothing because your going to fall anyways...just like fallen angels...
Don't turn away (Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide (Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes (God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light (Never sleep never die)
Servatis a pereculum. Servatis a maleficum...
Servatis a pereculum. Servatis a maleficum...(fades)
Well there it is,R/R plz!