A/N: I was going to wait a few hours before posting this chapter, but you can all thank Nade-Naberrie for an earlier update. She knew the magic words to say to get me to relent. Anything with Gerry on top will result in my total submission!

I know some of you are less than enthused at the moment with the turn of events that the story is taking. Christine has no doubt had to deal with a lot of difficulty in the recent years since Raoul's death. I imagine she was trapped in her circumstances as well as living in a constant state of fear. In her mind, the first man that she trusted apart from her father, used her. Her husband who was supposed to protect and provide for her died, and her comfort and security were ripped away by Philippe. Her actions are not going to be very logical in my opinion, and she could never have imagined that she would once again be a part of Erik's life. So, now that I have somewhat explained why she is doing what she is doing…here is the real reason – Because I need Erik not to know about it so that the story goes the way I want it to

If you have been unhappy before, this chapter is not going to make you too thrilled either. But Erik is awesome as always.

Ch. 18 – Dreams Are Shattered

The five days dragged along uneventfully for Christine and full of hard work for Erik. He had stretched the limits of his body, not giving himself a moment's rest. When he would return to his stateroom in the late hours of the night, he was so exhausted that he fell asleep instantly. He allowed himself no more than a few hours rest, and then he would be up and back to work.

He hesitated outside of Christine's room for a second before knocking. He had taken this week to think about what he wanted to say to her and what he wanted to ask her. He had carefully compiled a mental list of all of these things over and over again until he was sure of exactly how he wished the conversation to go. But now that he was standing here with only a piece of wood standing between them, he was struggling with his desire to see her after so many days and his need to clarify their relationship.

His hesitation proved to be his downfall as she yanked the door open to reveal herself to him. He hadn't been ready to see her and his face showed his surprise. Taking in the sight of her, he realized that she was angry. He had expected she would be. But he did not expect her to be more beautiful than ever, stealing his very breath before he could utter a word.

"I thought you weren't coming," she said with slight contempt in her voice. She had sensed his presence at the door before he had knocked and she had been so excited to see him that she hadn't hesitated and opened the door. He looked exhausted; the visible side of his face was pale with a dark circle under his eye. He also looked miserable, as Stone had predicted. She had to hold tight to her anger so as not to feel the stirrings of concern that were beginning to surface.

He knew that he had to cool her ire before they could have the discussion that he had planned. He stepped into the room, looking for a sign of Charles's presence. Finding none, he looked at Christine questioningly.

"He is with Stone," she said in answer to his unspoken query. The first mate had offered to take the boy so that they would have the privacy that they deserved. She hadn't argued with him and was very grateful for the suggestion.

After she closed the door, she found herself spun into his arms and drawn into a long, drugging kiss. Her anger was draining out of her with each movement of his lips against hers. His fingers plunged into her upswept hair and the pins were scattering to the floor as he pulled the locks free of their confinement. Satisfied for the moment, he broke contact with her and stepped away. She looked as if she were in a daze for a second, then the clarity returned to her eyes. Before she could speak, he placed his index finger to her lips and led her to sit. Then he took a position across from her and captured both of her hands with his.

"I'm sorry for my absence this week, Christine. I needed some time to collect my thoughts, and I have a difficult time doing that when you are so near to me."

"Why didn't you tell me yourself that you were just taking time to think?" she asked. "I thought that you were displeased with me."

"Displeased with you? Why ever would I be displeased with you?"

"I had acted, well, like a wanton woman that last night I saw you. In the bathtub."

He replayed the scene in his head and found it very pleasant indeed. What he had allowed himself to glimpse that night had been the very reason that he had wanted to avoid her this past week. "I believe that the men on this ship would refer to you as a lusty wench," he informed her, teasing.

She was horrified at his statement, "Oh Erik, I can't help myself when I am around you!" She pulled her hands away from his grip to bury her face in them from embarrassment.

"Never fear, my darling. I do not hold such things against you. I have difficulty accepting them, but I would never spurn you for them," he said and reclaimed her hands from her face. "Now, love, there are things that we need to discuss before our arrival tomorrow." He took a moment to collect his thoughts before continuing, "Christine, I have loved you from the moment that I first laid eyes on you. Yes, you were a child at the time, but your loneliness and grief called to me and touched my soul. We have always been kindred spirits, you and I - loving music, looking for companionship and love. I was blinded by my feelings for you, and I have no real excuse for doing the things that I did to force you to love me back. It's time I said I'm sorry for the torture that you endured because of my actions."

She searched his tormented face and realized that she had forgiven him at some point on this journey; the old wounds had finally healed. "You have changed Erik and I have forgiven you."

He brought each of her hands to his lips to bestow a kiss upon them and whispered, "Thank you, Christine."

His tender gesture pulled at her heartstrings and she found her eyes welling with tears. "Erik, I said such horrid things to you the night of the storm. I hope that you will also forgive me. I do trust you and I don't hate you."

His hands tugged at hers until she was settled into his arms. "Of course I forgive you," he said as he placed a soft kiss upon her mouth. They sat in a warm embrace for awhile, not wanting to let go. Finally his courage was built and he began to tell her of his plans for their future, "Christine, I wish to tell you my intentions for once we reach the shore."

After she nodded her acknowledgment, he continued. "I…..I want to marry you Christine and take Charles as my son."

His absence from her in the last week had not prepared her for this. The tears returned to her eyes and before she knew it, she was crying openly. He wanted Charles as his son. It was too perfect, too wonderful. She tightened her hold on him; clinging to the man she loved with all her heart.

He didn't know what to make of her reaction. He had convinced himself that she would be happy about his proposal, but the way she was sobbing against him made him think otherwise. "Do my intentions cause you pain or happiness, Christine? Please tell me," he begged.

"I am happy Erik. You have overwhelmed me, that is all." She raised her face to look into his. "You wish to adopt Charles as your own even though he is Raoul's son?"

"He is your son also, is he not? I love him Christine. I will try to be a good father to him and a good husband to you if you will have me."

She wanted to accept his proposal desperately. Her heart was screaming yes so loudly that it pained her. But her mind was working against her heart, telling her to wait and see what their arrival in America would bring. Fear was her motivator. She could not in good conscious agree to marry him without him knowing what demons were pursuing her and Charles. But she was determined to see her plan through, and wait until after she had received some news from Robert.

"Erik, I….I cannot say yes right now. There are complications that I need to deal with first." She felt his entire body go rigid at her words. She had known that he would not be happy with her answer and she also knew that it had taken a lot for him to ask. Her heart was breaking at the thought of what must be going through his mind. "Please, please be patient, Erik. I just need to get settled in America and be sure that we are safe."

"Why do you have need to be assured of your safety? Is it because of the reason that you left France in such a blasted hurry?" He was warring between anger, disappointment, rejection and concern all at once. Anger was coming out on top so far.

"Please don't be angry," she begged. She knew her words would fall on deaf ears; his anger would not be controlled. He roughly placed her away from him and stood. He began stalking around the room, his furious eyes boring into her.

"Do you doubt my ability to protect you or Charles?" he raged.

"No Erik," she said timidly. Her tears had returned and she hung her head down, her frame shaking. He crossed the room to her in an instant and took her into his arms once again. His nimble fingers brushed the wetness from her cheeks and his mouth covered hers with frenzy. When she had ceased her crying and was clutching him with abandon, he released her.

"You are aware that I am not a patient man, nor am I a man who is content to be left in the dark." She nodded. "You will tell me." Seeing the genuine terror in her face at his demand, he knew that he could not force her. Heaving a sigh, he added, "When you are ready Christine."

Wiping at her tears, she said, "Thank you, Erik. I know that this is difficult for you." She rewarded him with a beautiful smile, expressing her gratitude.

"I have another request. When we reach shore, I would like it if you and Charles would stay at my house while you get settled."

In her head an alarm went off. She was about to hurt him once again. "That is very generous of you, Erik. Thank you. But, I have already accepted Stone's offer to stay with his family for a time." She watched his expression return to its typical scowl of irritation. How much more rejection could she deliver to him?

"I will accompany you to his home and then I will return to the ship." he said tensely. He had been so sure that this meeting between them would go differently. That he was finally going to have her commitment and her love to himself when he brought the Fereshteh into port. But once again, she had abused his faith in her. He wondered if he would ever learn where this woman was concerned.

Moving to the door, he uttered, "Until tomorrow then." Without so much as a kiss goodnight, he swept out of the room leaving her feeling as though she had just committed a horrible mistake that perhaps she wouldn't be able to remedy quite as easily as she had believed.