Yay I finally got some reviews other then Chaos (still love ya though)! Even if it's only a few, they are good…double yay! Thank you for those who did like the story, it made me make sure this last chapter was good… After this I'm going to though my full force into my Atlantis/SeaQuest crossover I've been working on (that and my homework I should have been working on)… but I really want to come back to Emily, so I might do that too…lol… Okay.. anyways… back to the story…hope you like it
Saying Goodbye Sucks…
Three days have past since Vivian…died. It's still hard to think about the fact that she is gone. With the power from the new ZPM, we were able to send the bodies of those who died during the wraith attack back home. Back to their families, with no explanation as to how they died. It seems so wrong, but what are we supposed to tell them; "I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Dowson, but your daughter died from an alien invasion of the mythical city of Atlantis, which by the way happens to be in another galaxy." Yeah, that sounds great. At least the families get their bodies to say goodbye, it would be so much worse if we had nothing to send their families. But we needed closure too, we couldn't just send their bodies back and go on with our lives. I'm fairly sure it was Dr. Weir who planned the wake. A service on the mainland for the fallen, before Weir and a few others headed back to Earth.
When Owen first woke up, I broke the news about Viv. A few tears leaked from his eyes despite his best efforts; I hate to see strong men cry, it wrenches at my heart. That night I fell sleep on the gurney next to him, Carson was kind enough not to kick me out and wake me from the first good sleep I'd gotten in days. Owen had argued with Carson over heading to the mainland, in the end he was allowed to come, but he had to stay in a wheelchair and go straight back to the infirmary when it was over.
The Jumper ride was eerily quiet, and the silence screamed though my ears. Connor sat next to me, he had taken Viv's death hard, I think this is the first time someone close to him has died. Major Lorne is flying us smooth and steady, but the trip seems to drag on. Time seems to slow to a snail's pace; sorta like when you close your eyes while your on a car ride, the ride always seems so much longer. Besides Connor and Owen, and therefore Carson, a few other of Viv's close friends sat in the rear compartment with me. We had decided to head out an hour early for our own memorial before everyone else arrived.
The bag at my feet holds a few of Viv's personal items. A few things that I decided to keep when I cleaned out her room and sent her stuff home. An Athosian bracelet she bartered for the first week we were here. Little blue colored beads on fiber cording, she wore it everyday, she thought of it as a sign of where she was, Atlantis, the Pegasus Galaxy. Her personal star chart she kept, drawn out by hand; creating her own constellations, her own mythologies. I didn't know she knew calligraphy. The last thing I kept was the letter she received from Dr. Weir the same one we all got when we were accepted onto the Atlantis Expedition. I also kept a few pictures that were taken on Atlantis, her friends, the astronomy group. She also printed some beautiful ones of the city, and sunsets and the like she taped to the ceiling over her bed. All things her family wouldn't miss, all things that were part of her life here. A while ago I acquired an elegant Athosian wooden box, beautiful carvings and inlayed stones. I had folded and tucked everything neatly inside.
I find something comforting about burying something, returning it to the Earth…well, to nature anyway. I'd like to think Viv would think the same.
…oooOOOooo…
Connor had dug a shallow hole under a large willow-like tree; the site overlooked the ocean. If you could see far enough, you would be able to see Atlantis from this vantage point. Weir, Sheppard and everyone else would be here soon enough. I gently placed the box in the hollow. "Well, here we are, the point I've been dreading since I stepped on the jumper. I couldn't think of anything to say last night, nothing I thought of was good enough. How to do you summarize someone's life into just a few minutes? Because to say that Vivian will just be missed, is an extreme understatement. There's no way we can thank her for everything she's done here. She brought a life and light to those who knew her… Not to mention her brilliance… her mind was incomparable. I've even see her stop Dr. McKay in his tracks." A sorrowful smile crosses my face. "She believed in this mission, this place… I have a feeling her whole life had been leading up to this."
"Viv had a quote on her wall, she actually painted it… on her wall… in big letters her first week here," another smile. "It's by Carl Sagan. She told me she first read it when she was young; she used to write it on everything, on books, her hands when she was bored, carved it in trees. I'm sure Viv was the kind who dreamed of the stars when she was five and never looked back." Flashes of my own youth pass though my head. "I think…" my voice cracks, I pause, "I think that's why we connected so easily. We grew up with the same thought, that's what brought her out here, brought us all out here."
"If we are alone in the universe; well, then it's an awful waste of space."
"Well Vivian, we aren't alone; we've found friends out here and… enemies. And if I… EVER… see one again… they will pay for what they did to you. But Viv, here and now; you are surrounded by those who love you. And we swear to do everything we can to keep your memory living in the halls of Atlantis."
"It was… odd to watch her go. To see her body go though the stargate for the last time." I know I'm about to loose it, I struggle to keep my composure; the hardest part is coming up. "You were my training wheels. I've never been in charge of anything in my life, and you were the one who kept me from falling when I stumbled. Now that you're gone, who will be there to catch me; yell at me when I forget to eat, to sleep, to take a break." Tears freely falling. "To remember deadlines and to focus on what needs to be done. Damn it Vivian, it should have been me, I should have been the one to go out there and fix the stupid satellite… Vivian I'm sorry….. I'm sorry… and you'll never… never be forgotten." I quickly drop a flower I had been holding on top of the wood box, turn and walk away.
…oooOOOooo…
Connor's eyes are boring into the back of my head. I know it's him, you can tell by his footsteps on the dead leaves.
"It's not your fault you know"
"It should have been me…"
"It shouldn't have been anyone."
"Owen is sitting over there in a wheelchair," I point, "and Viv is dead… because I was too lazy to get off my ass and go fix the dish, Because I was feeling bad about myself; about what happened, acting like I was the only one who went thought it."
"No… the Wraith killed Vivian. And Owen's not going to be in that chair for long; you heard Dr. Beckett, he'll be back on duty in a few weeks… And for the record, if you ever need anyone to yell at you, me and Owen will be happy to oblige." Without look at him I know he's smiling, surprisingly a small one creeps across my face. "Look," Connor walks up next to me, turning me to face him. I can't get myself to look at his face. "You and I both know Viv wouldn't want you treating yourself like this. What you went though was horrible, but you survived. We all did, people handle stress in different ways. I know you Emily, you'll be fine." I don't say anything, this is a Connor I've never seen before; he's not the young, just out of school, geeky, genius I'm used to. "The others will be here soon, I'll leave you alone."
As he walks back to the clearing, "Thank you," I yell. He turns and smiles.
…oooOOOooo…
The wake went without incident, Dr. Weir, Major Sheppard and Dr. McKay all gave speeches. Turns out every member of the original Atlantis expedition turned out. They packed in the jumpers, standing room only, even having to make two trips. The city was left in the hands of the Prometheus crew for the time being.
The last of the Alcohol smuggled from Earth was brought out, which wasn't much. Everyone else was supplied with wine from the few Athosians who gathered with us. A flower wreath was placed on the water, floating towards the sunset. A bonfire was set up as it got darker. What started as a solemn night gave way to a night of laughing and smiles, the joy of simple memories remembered. There was even dancing, it may have been the alcohol, or it may have been the relief of what was past. I made my rounds dancing with Connor, Radek, and Carson, before he headed back to Atlantis with Owen and the rest of his patients he had left under the care of Prometheus's doctor. Before he left, I sat with Owen for a while, watching the fire, he said he owes me a dance when he's up and around again. I'll hold him to it. I even snuck in a dance with John Sheppard, Viv would be so jealous, but it's amazing what people will do when intoxicated. The man can fight off the Wraith, probably single handedly if needed; and yet, he still has two left feet.
…oooOOOooo…
I sit in front of the fire, it's now early in the morning, as the gathering was winding down. Everyone's either heading back to the city or surprisingly setting up makeshift tents. The light and smoke dance against the background of stars, Viv is here… along with Peter and everyone else we've lost. As the smoke rises over my head I realize that even in death, Viv still won't let me fall. I reach down to my wrist, rolling the blue beads of her bracelet between my fingers. I never did put it in the box when I packed it, I kept it with me instead. My own reminder of what I had lost, and what I had gained.
Namárië
…oooOOOooo…
well that's it… the end. (if your wondering Namárië is Quenya for farewell, I'm the kind of dork that knows these things.) I enjoyed writing this story cause it was unlike most things I write… it was very difficult at times, but I think it turned out well. Thank you all and goodnight.