"Tom... you really should try to eat something man." Harry frowned as he sat across from the still shivering man on the couch...

Tom shook his head wrapping the blanket tighter around himself. "Not hungry."

"This isn't good for you..."

"Good for me! Good for me! Do you think any of this is fucking good for me!" Hanson snapped his red glazed eyes glaring in Ioki's direction.

"I didn't mean..." Harry frowned running a hand through his hair.

"I know..I'm sorry..."

"Don't worry about it. How about I go down to the corner store and pick-up some 7-up it might help calm your stomach nerves..."

"I just don't..."

"Tom you have to try..."

"Alright." Hanson nodded whiping the sweat from his brow with a shakey hand.

Harry gave his friend a half smile and got up from his seat grabbing his car keys, "Remember if you need anything... Doug is right in the bathroom taking a shower and I'll be back in just a minute alright?"

Tom roled his eyes with a smirk "You act like I've never been alone in my own apartment before man, now go on get outta here."

"Just... you know incase if you start to panic."

"I'll be fine Iok. Now get on outta here."

Harry nodded and jogged toward the door biting his lip as he gave his friend the once over taking in the extent of his weekend and unstable condition... "Maybe I should wait for-"

"Go Harry." Hanson demanded closing his eyes, thinking the silence would be a welcomed sensation once Harry left. No one to ask him what he needed. No one to nag him about what he's feeling, or how he's doing. No one to watch him like a hawk... Just him, and his thoughts.

Exhaling deeply he shut his eyes and let the quietness envelope him bringing his knees to his chest and resting his head there taking in one deep breath and then another...

It only took moments however before the calm of the quiet turned into deadly silence and Tommy found that alone was the last place he needed to be the thought in his head louder than any voice he could ever imagine hearing, the sounds of his memories so vivid that he knew he was living them again...

His heart raced and those calm and relaxing breaths were now harsh and deliberate inhales to keep breathing . Wrapping his arms around himself he could feel nails ripping into his skin... little did they know they were his own as he choked on the salty tears now sliding down his face.

He wanted to scream to cry out, but he couldn't. Fear. Pain. Paralizing him he couldn't move has he gripped tighter to himself and his whole body began toshake so hard an outsider might think he were near a convulsion as he burried his head deeper and deeper into his knees.

The images of Raferty and the ruthless orderlys, the needles digging into his arms his body being restained, the screams and whimpers of the tortured souls surrounding him in that hell whole, the feelings of abandonment and anger washing over him all at once, an over whelming dispair so dizzying he thought for a moment he might black out.,...

But he didn't, they just kept swimming and swimming around in his mind so many memories, memories with feelings feelings with form torturing his soul like a thousand sharp and deadly needles.

Finally releasing hold on his arms his fingers now lightly covered in his own blood he brought them tp his hair and gripped tight wanting nothing more than to pull these evil images from his mind, they were so loud, so deafeningly loud as they screamed at him without even using many words they tore him to pieces over and over again.

Pulling harder and harder he whimpered, only to find himself once more alone, just like before, before when all his friends left him there, there to rot, there to decay in the company of ruthless and dangeruos strangers... at least there however there wasn't pain, pain like this... there was loneliness though, just like the loneliness swollowing him now,.

No one was there no one really cares about him, if they had they would have come for him. They would have saved him, and where are they now? There gone. Gone again.

"Stop- it... stop it please..." Tom's voice was as weak as his sob and pain wrecked body as he gasped for air. "stop it... leave me alone... please...somebody help me please..." He closed his eyes tighter and tighter, tight enough to make his eyelids cramp.

Stepping out of the shower Doug dried off before wrapping the towel around his waist and looking into the mirror running a hand though his wet mane. In good ol' Doug fashion he smailed to himself and began to whistle the Andy Griffith toon while sliding back into his pants.

It only took him a moment however to notice the unfamiliar quiet coming from the other room as his brow cocked and he opened the bathroom door to listen harder. No voices... no television... nothing. "Maybe he finally fell asleep." He mumbled half to himself sliding one of Tom's shirts over his head that he had stolen from his friends closet. He of course had to take the biggest one he could find, and growned to himself when he looked in the mirror and discovered it was from some Jazz band concert ten years earlier. "Hanson...Hanson... Hanson..." He whispered to himself slinging the towel around his shoulders and stepping out into the hallway.

"just...leave me alone... leave me alone..."Tom Choked out in a whisper from where he still sat huddled in the corner of the sofa every inch of his being both inside and out trembling horribly through his minds tourment... "They didn't leave me there... they didn't... they wouldn't...STOP IT!"

"Tommy?" Doug swollwed hard and his walk into the front room turned into a jog. "Oh shit Hanson!" Penhall's eyes scanned the room for Harry finding him no where in sight he let a deep growl escape his lips.

"leave me alone... leave me alone they didn't leave me there..."

"Tommy." Doug whispered kneeling down in front of him on the sofa and putting a hand on his shoulder before noticing his arms were bleeding. "Hanson. Hanson look at me." He frowned pulling tommy'sface up to meet his by his chin.

If it were possible even in the 20 minutes Doug had ventrued from his presence Hanson had managed in appearance and obviously mental status to worsen, his eyes were now sunken further into his head, his skin had gone nearly from gray to blue he was soaking wet and he was trembling... ohgod he wastrembling so hard.

"You need to fight this buddy come on..." Doug whispered trying not to let his voice show any concern as he stood up and sat down next to Tom on the couch . Noticing his friends eyes just staring at him vacently as tears silently rolled down his cheeks. "Maybe if you talked about it..."

"you didn't come..." Hanson whispered so light that even doug couldn't hear him.

"What was that buddy?

"you didn't come..." He repeated again in the same voice as he began to wrap his arms around himselfhis eyes staring at his best friend.

"Tommy don't... your bleeding man..." Doug sighed and reached out taking Tom's handsin his noticing how clammy and could they were he instinctively rubbed them together trying to warm them... "What are you saying"

"YOU DIDN'T COME!" Tom snapped growling "NONE OF YOU FUCKING CAME, YOU LEFT ME THERE, YOU LET THEM TORTURE ME!" He snatched his hands back as he began to gag

"No Hanson... We didn't- We didn't know where you were."

"HOW COULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME THERE?"

"we tried... Tom you gotta believe me man, We tried so hard..."

"There torturing me..." Tom whispered his eyes immediately casting downward to stare at the carpet.

"Who Tommy? Whose torturing you?"

"My thoughts... My thoughts... don't leave me alone again ok? I-I thought I wanted to be left alone but I don't... they- they won't just leave me alone they keep haunting me making me sick, nausiated... Doug I can't- I can't handle this..."

"Your not alone Hanson. Your never alone..."

"I was."

Doug frowned and slid his arm over Tom's back pulling him into his arms protectively as he noticed more tears begin to slide down his face. "It's the withdrawls Tom... you just need to relax and fight this..."

"I'm tired Doug, I'm so tired...I don't want to fight anymore..."

"I know.But you have to. Your my best friend and I'm not going to lose you to this... do you hear me? I'm not going to let this thing win..."

"I-I'm sorry for what I said..."

"Don't worry about it, it wasn't you talking..."

Tom frowned... "Yes It was..."

"No. It wasn't. Now I don't want you to worry about anything that comes out of your mouth right now. I only want you to worry about getting better alright?"

"But-"

"No buts. Now lets get you into the bathroom, and clean you up, if you try this again I'm gonna duct tape Dorathy's oven mits to your hands,"

"You wouldn't dare..."

"Of course I would... you know the ones she keeps under the sink with the my little pony's on them?"

"Geez and I thought the orderly's were ruthless..."