Ask Alie
By: Alie (duh!)
My house elf is stealing my socks. What should I do?
-Sockless
Dear Sockless: Tell him not to steal them…
My friend thinks my necklace is ugly.
-Binkey
Dear Binkey: That's nice.
I can't believe it! My house elf is STILL stealing my socks.
-Still Sockless
Dear Still Sockless: Steal them back. Or buy new ones.
My roommate thinks I'm a death eater. What should I do?
-Annoyed
Dear Annoyed: Well, are you? If not try a memory charm, move out, and change your name.
I'm depressed.
-Unhappy
Dear Unhappy: And I care why? Well, I don't, but eat chocolate anyway. Or bathe in it.
I can't get my socks back.
-You-Know-Who
Dear You-Know-Who: Voldemort needs socks?
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Alie
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The Quibbler
Diagon Alley 7B, London, England