Disclaimer: I own nothing, yada, yada, yada...
A/N:I realize that this story is not really having the effect I'd hoped and after reading the reviews, I've decided to step it up a notch and really try to get the readers laughing. I'm sorry for the other chapters but hopefully this will make up for them. Thank you all for your suggestions and support :)
Dear Ms. Lovegood,
After rewriting your list of
punishments and adding to the things that you are forbidden to do
each day, I am forced to say that if you are to get out of line one
more time, I will have to expel you from Hogwarts. Please try your
best to do nothing on the list that I have forbidden and not brake
any other school rules. i would also advise not to do anything that
you feel is wrong even if it is not included on the list of school
rules. I know that you are not in my house but as deputy
Headmistress, I do not want any of my pupils to have to leave. i have
enclosed a list of the rest of the things that you are forbidden from
doing. Please read over them careful and hopefully this will be my
last warning.
,Professor Minerva
McGonagall
Things
You Are Henceforth Banned From Doing
1)Do not scream like a
banshee in the middle of the Great Hall, insisting that your
wonderful toast gave you an orgasm (though the house elves did
appreciate the sentiment)
2)Do not use the Hogwarts toilet brushes
to brush your teeth
3)Do not give out amulets to all the boys in
the school, telling them that it will protect them from evil when in
reality the amulets make their clothing see-through
4)Do not tell
Harry the very fascinating story of your 'powerful' experience in the
room of power in the Department of Mysteries
5)Do not involve
oneself with any thestrals on Hogwarts grounds for anything other
than 'normal' purposes
6)Do not make a hat during Quidditch
matches that is an image of anything obscene of vulgar
7)Do not
tell everyone that the ministry of magic is planning to take over the
world using gum disease (edit: now made to include herpes)
8)Do
not strip in the Great hall or any other part of the school, claiming
that you must set your spirit free to live amongst the
Blibbery-Borncroople or whatever
9)Do not hand out fairy flutters
to people (I don't care if it has a lime twist in it, I say it's
alcohol!)
10)Do not persuade girls on your dorm to perform healing
rituals with you
11)Do not read pornographic magazines (I don't
care if they're upside down, people will still realize what they
are!)
12)Do not attempt to extract a living soul from Crookshanks
or any other of the animals at Hogwarts in hopes of finding someone
"who understands me for me"
13)Do not wear turnip
earrings because it was reported that they left an aroused effect to
some of the first years (edit:now made to include any earrings
symbolizing an explicit image that give off the same effect)
14)Do
not try to persuade the D.A. to try and defeat the Death Eaters using
heliopathic violence (edit: now made to include persuading them to
use 'human juice poison' to defeat the death eaters)
15)Do not
sing the national anthem while using the restroom at 12:00 in the
morning
16)Do not prance around singing "Dick beyond measure
is man's greatest treasure"
Ms. Lovegood, I know it is difficult right now to understand why these things are wrong. When I was your age, I was very much like you in many ways but i now see the error of my ways. It is not bad to have fun once in a while but try to keep on more of a low-key scale. If I see any more bad behavior, I'll make sure not to inform the headmaster, but you have been warned.
P.S.
Please meet me in my office this
afternoon to discuss ideas for the annual "Kooky" dance at
Hogwarts. I would be glad to get advice from someone with your
imagination!
A/N: This is my last chapter for this series, I'm sorry to say. But please, tell me what you thought of it and be sure to point out any mistakes. thanks to all of you who took time out to review, I love you all :)
