Yayy! Update! Sorry it took so long, but I've really been short on time lately now that I've officially had my writing accepted by a publishing company (see my bio to learn more). Not to mention, nine weeks exams are approaching swiftly and I have to do well to bring a myriad of 89's up to an A level. Plus, my Orchestra teacher is a total Nazi and is making me do this extra credit assignment or he'll give me a D.
And, I just got my xanga up and running again (I made some serious changes). AND (yes, there's more) a friend of mine just lent me the movies "Battle Royale" and "Suicide Club", so I'm a little freaked out after having watched them both in the same twenty-four hour period.
I do not recommend doing this to anyone that wishes to keep a tight grip on their sanity. The only up side to them, besides the fact that I really did like both movies, was Kiriyama from BR (he's so HOT!). Ack, I sound like such a fangirl! Oh, well. As you can see, it's been super hectic in the world of HieiAijin1410. Anyway, on to chapter two: Obsession.
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Sesshoumaru glided through the halls of his castle with his usual effortless grace, perfectly embodying the power and magnificence expected from one with a bloodline as pure as his own. His face was impassively calm and his stride held not a single waver in it. Anyone watching the demon lord as he passed would be completely unaware of the turmoil that raged within him.
In truth, Sesshoumaru was more confused at that moment that he'd ever been before in all his long centuries. He simply could not understand why his lover was suddenly acting so strangely. It was as if something had happened to Naraku practically overnight to make him take this sudden change in demeanor. Since he'd brought the demon back with him to his castle in the west, their relationship had done nothing but grow stronger.
He'd sensed not a drop resentment or anger from his partner, and the two seemed to get along splendidly. But now, suddenly, something had happened to change all this. Naraku had pulled away from him that morning, a feat that had never occurred before even once in the months they'd been together. Not only that, but there had been an obvious look of pain in Naraku's eyes that Sesshoumaru couldn't identify.
He had no experience with this sort of thing and no idea as to how he could console his love. The whole thing made Sesshoumaru feel almost helpless. There was definitely something very serious going on with Naraku, and Sesshoumaru could not even begin to think of how to approach the matter.
Sesshoumaru was broken from his thoughts as an annoying, squealing Jaken rushed over to him and began squabbling away about some problem or other.
"Lord Sesshoumaru, you're late for your meeting with the heads of the hog demon tribes! They are not pleased about being kept waiting! Why are you…" Sesshoumaru sent the squealing toad a death glare that said quite plainly, running would be a smart idea.
The inu youkai was hardly in the mood for dealing with Jaken or any of his duties at the moment. Jaken, however, was not to be deterred.
"My lord, if I may speak frankly, you've become more and more distracted ever since you brought that kumo to the castle. I know it is not my place to question you're judgement, but anyone who jeopardizes your position as Lord of the Western Lands should not be permitted to stay."
Sesshoumaru immediately lashed out at Jaken, viciously kicking the frail demon into a nearby wall with enough force to crack the stone. Jaken fell to the floor and did not get up again as Sesshoumaru resumed his calm stroll through the castle. Jaken would be awake again in a few hours, so Sesshoumaru was not concerned for his health, but the inu youkai was concerned with the words his advisor had spoken.
Even though they had come from a demon as lowly as Jaken, Sesshoumaru could not help but admit silently that the toad had a point. He had been increasingly unable to concentrate on his duties ever since he'd returned from Ashe's castle with Naraku in tow. Whether he was in meetings with other demon lords or simply seeing to territorial problems he'd dealt with a hundred times before, Sesshoumaru always found himself distracted by thoughts of his partner.
It was growing increasingly more difficult to concentrate on anything for any length of time without his thoughts wandering off to some quiet place in his mind where Naraku waited for him. More and more often now he would find himself jolting out of a daydream he'd unknowingly fallen into when someone asked for an answer to a question he should have been listening to.
This had led to many embarrassing situations for Sesshoumaru, and he often ended up looking foolish in the eyes of other demon lords. None of this had mattered to him before because he'd always had Naraku's open arms waiting for him to banish all his worries away. Now; however, it looked as if his lover was experiencing second thoughts similar to his own.
Sesshoumaru growled quietly to himself as he replayed that morning again and again in his mind. Why had Naraku brushed him off like that? What had changed in the kumo so suddenly? What effect would this have on their relationship if Naraku couldn't overcome his problem? Sesshoumaru's growling increased as he realized how pathetic his thoughts had become.
Why do I insist on obsessing over that man like this? Sesshoumaru questioned himself forcefully. I'm well aware that he is my lover, but I should not allow that to get in the way of my duties as a demon lord. My allegiance is to myself first and foremost, no matter how much I care for Naraku. Sesshoumaru felt a small ache form in his chest as he thought these bitter words. He was lying to himself and he knew it.
If Naraku were ever in trouble, he would slash his body to bloody mangled pieces if he thought it would save him. Nonetheless, Sesshoumaru could not help but try and convince himself that his fate wasn't so hopelessly woven together with that of his lover. He had to keep telling himself that he was still free to do as he wished. Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth as images of all the things he'd had to give up because of Naraku suddenly flooded his thoughts.
He'd been unable to spend time patrolling his territory because that would mean leaving Naraku for weeks at a time. He'd been unable to travel to the lands of other demon lords to see if he could intimidate them into submitting to his rule because that would also mean leaving Naraku.
He could take the kumo on none of these trips because what good would it do? Naraku wasn't a demon lord, he had no respectable title, and most demons were well aware of his conniving past and would probably attempt to kill him in his sleep. Naraku had made too many enemies for his own good.
Sesshoumaru simply couldn't risk the attention Naraku would get if he were to travel with him. Not to mention, Sesshoumaru had been forced to completely give up the one thing that'd mattered most to him over the years – revenge on his younger brother, Inuyasha. Naraku was hunting the hanyou as well, and Sesshoumaru knew one day they would have to decide who got the privilege of disposing of him.
Anger roiled up in him whenever he thought about someone taking his retribution away from him, even if it was his own lover who did the taking. Sesshoumaru couldn't even hunt Inuyasha like he'd done before because Naraku would realize what he was doing and either try to stop him or want to have a hand in it as well. Sesshoumaru had to avoid this at all costs, even if it meant giving up his hunt entirely.
He would wait as long as it took to exact his vengeance on his brother, for he would sooner wither away to hell than ever allow another to take his revenge. Naraku may hate his brother as well, but his hatred could never reach the same depths that Sesshoumaru's had been brewing in for time unmeasured. Sesshoumaru's thoughts took another angry turn as he fully realized what he was thinking.
He, Sesshoumaru, was giving up an objective all for the sake of another? He was backing down from killing one that had wronged him simply because he feared someone else would take the privilege from him? Sesshoumaru was amazed that he hadn't realized this before.
He knew his feelings for Naraku were inhibiting him, but he never realized how severely. It wasn't until he'd broken away from the calm bubble that always surrounded him when with Naraku that he fully realized the wrong turn his life had taken.
"This can't be allowed to continue," Sesshoumaru whispered forcefully to himself. "I don't know how I never managed to notice this before, but Naraku's strange actions this morning may indicate he's realized this too. I need to see him now" Sesshoumaru immediately about-faced and strode off in the opposite direction, searching for Naraku's demonic energy with his explicit senses. The demon hadn't returned to their bedroom and he didn't seem to be anywhere else in the castle.
Sesshoumaru turned to the castle grounds and grinned slightly as he sensed a flash of his lover's energy coming from that direction. He followed the pulsing demonic aura to the gardens surrounding his fortress. He faltered slightly as he sensed something a little off about the energy he followed. It was moving steadily at first, as if it had a clear destination in mind, and then it halted so abruptly you'd think its owner had slammed into a brick wall.
Sesshoumaru's heightened senses picked up a slight change in the energy, nothing too startling but enough to draw attention. His lover's energy had been joined with that of another. This new energy was definitely familiar to him, but somehow it seemed distant, wispy, as if it were permeating through a thick blanket and could only drift in slowly. He approached the two energies quickly, his curiosity overwhelming his sense of caution.
He broke through the wall of foliage blocking his sight and saw Naraku standing shakily before him. The kumo was muttering quietly to himself; his darting eyes seem to indicate that he thought someone else was nearby. Sesshoumaru was about to call out to him, but the energy that was not Naraku's pulsed suddenly and enveloped the kumo.
He fell hard to the ground with a sickening thud and did not get up again, causing alarm to course through Sesshoumaru's body. He couldn't understand how, but Naraku's life was being drained from him at an impossible rate. Sesshoumaru rushed over to him as his eyes closed heavily and pulled the kumo into his arms.
His breath came in wheezing gasps, and every single one held Sesshoumaru's name on it as he called desperately for his lover. Naraku was beyond sensing him now and couldn't tell that the one he sought was holding him tightly.
It was then that Sesshoumaru recognized the energy still leeching away at his lover's life.
"This is impossible," He whispered to himself, Naraku, and the vicious energy clinging to them. "You died back in your own castle; you're body is buried under mountains of rock. The only way this could be happening is if…" And then Sesshoumaru knew. He finally understood the thing that had been bothering him for so long.
They'd survived Ashe's castle, yes, but had they really returned unscathed? He'd pondered this question on many a night where he woke up sweating from dreams he couldn't remember. Ashe had managed to capture them both, keep them locked away for weeks, and nearly kill them, and yet in the end she'd been defeated almost effortlessly. They'd attacked her, she'd died… and that was it.
Anyone with the power to subdue two of the most powerful youkai in the land couldn't possibly be that weak, ne? She'd had the whole process so carefully planned out… could they really believe that she hadn't planned on them trying to escape? Sesshoumaru realized now how foolish they'd been for underestimating their former captor.
She'd allotted for the possibility that the two of them would prove too much for her to contain and had set up a back-up plan just in case.
How foolish of them to think that Ashe would just die willingly without bringing her killers to justice. Was she back now? No, Sesshoumaru knew that wasn't the case. It wasn't so much that Ashe was back, but that she never left in the first place.
To be continued…
Huzzah! Another chapter completed, and it's only like three in the morning… kind of a hollow victory I guess. Sorry if this seems like a repeat to y'all, since the last chapter was on Naraku's mixed feelings and this one is on Sesshoumaru's mixed feelings, but I had to explain both sides of this or no one would understand what is to come. You know, I used to like Ashe because she seemed really Dominatrix to me and I like strong female characters, but now she's starting to get on my nerves. Anyway, if you have questions/comments please feel free to review/email me and I'll get back to you. Thanks for all the great support! Oyasumi na sai!