Title- Dealing with It
Chapter Title- Not Going Back
Disclaimer- I don't own The Outsiders
Reviewers-
Tikagem- You think I can kill Soda? I will not kill Soda… that's wrong!
XAmberX- Thinking will only hurt you more (j/k) No, why don't you just read to find out?
Note- I am currently working on editing all of my 'Outsider Jess' chapters and making them pretty. When I finish this story, I'll probably repost that story with all the wonderful changes… NATE DOES NOT DIE- I think I made that pretty clear. Now, on with our story…
The bus pulled up. It was pretty dark out, I could barely see. The lights on the bus nearly blinded me. I gave the bus driver some money and found an empty seat. I was going to take this bus to the outside of town. I had to leave this place, for good. There was no bringing me back.
If mom was in my shoes, she would've gone to New York. She always had a place to stay there. I wanted to go to New York, to visit the therapist again. I got off at the next stop. It was about 3 a.m. I was headed to a therapist. I noticed I was on the West-side now; the whole feeling of the place was different. It was cleaner and kept-up nicer.
I sat on the curb for a while; I was going to wait until cars started to pull out of drive ways. I didn't want to wait at a therapist for a few hours. When the sun started to peak out of the clouds and fathers started to leave for work, I decided to walk to one of the therapists we visited.
I sat in the waiting room after making an appointment. I held a stuffed bunny. The fabric was worn in and it had a single button eye. The other one was popped off. It also had a smile sewed on. One ear was floppy and hung down over its face; the other one felt like it had a piece of wire in it to help keep it up. Unknowingly, I started to pull away at the string that made the smile. Nothing deserved to be happy. Things weren't happy.
When my name was called I mindlessly walked into the room. I sat across from the lady. She was young, with long dark brown hair that was tied in a loose ponytail. She had knick-knacks surrounding her desk. Without asking, I picked one up and began to play with it, turning it over and over in my hands. I didn't say anything, she didn't say anything. I just kept flipping it over, staring at it. Abruptly I put it down. I stared at her.
"Aren't you going to ask me what's wrong?" I asked her. She smiled, she seemed friendly. She wasn't as friendly as the other lady. The lady that I saw in New York.
"I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable." I smiled back at her.
"I don't want to go home," I said suddenly. I blinked a few times.
"Why not?" she asked, still unmoving. Her hands were folded and resting on her desk.
"I don't know. Well, I do know. I think I kill too many people. I don't mean to kill them. I'm honest." She nodded.
"May you start from the beginning?" I nodded.
"A long time ago, my grandmother passed away. She left her only daughter all alone; she was forced to move here. Except, she was on the East-side. This daughter was my mom. My mom's half-brother introduced her to his friends. Eventually, his best friend asked my mom out. They dated for a while, maybe a year, and then he proposed. She said yes. So, they got married. A few months later, well, I guess you've seen "the video"? Well, any way, me and my twin brother Nate came along. Dad was sent to the war and mom left for New York with us. She was called back when they found out some news about my dad. He had been injured in the war and was sent home, unable to walk for a few months. Then, I turned seven. I cheated my way into getting a dog I shouldn't have gotten. Then, we found out mommy was pregnant. I didn't want the baby, so I kept saying mean things. He was born too early and he died. But, I killed him. I said those mean things so he didn't want to live and just," here I made a popping noise, "died. I started to develop all these weird things. Recently, we found it was OCD. I was able to hide it real well, until that one day when I tried to get my cousin to wash her hands. Mom took me to a therapist in New York and they told us it was OCD. My cousin told me things her mom said when we got back. I have a short-temper so I jumped on my aunt. My uncle and aunt divorced. I was worried about it one day in school and that's the day I hit Nate. He told me I liked his friend, Josh. The truth is, I like Josh, no, I love Josh. So Josh and I went out but it turns out once upon a time there were things called Greasers and Socs. It made our families mortal enemies... like... like Romeo and Juliet! Josh and I broke up and then got back together. We broke up again because he told me a big lie. I decided to go out with Ben; he was a grade older than I was and a huge drinker and stoner. I started to drink. They tried to beat up Nate yesterday but I saved him. Then Josh's dad called and asked me to come over. Josh committed suicide. That's why I'm here, eventually, everybody I know dies. The ones that mean something to me. So far, I haven't killed Nate. That's why I'm here, I don' wanna kill Nate."
"But, Veronica, you didn't kill your younger brother or Josh. It's just what happened." I got up and pushed her knick-knacks towards her.
"I KILLED THEM! I MADE MY BROTHER NOT WANNA LIVE AND I BROKE JOSH'S HEART! IT'S MY FAULT AND YOU CAN'T DENY IT!" I screamed. I sat back down and pulled my legs to my chest and cried.
"Joan, do you know this girl's phone number?" I heard her call. She stepped out of the room. When she came back, she knelt down besides me. "Sh, Ronnie, sh, it'll be okay. Your Uncle Keith is coming to get you." Keith, did she mean Two-Bit? I wiped my nose on my sleeve.
"No, I don't WANT TO GO BACK!" I shrieked. I jumped up and ran out of the place. I kept running until I reached a speedy mart. I felt my pocket for my fake ID. I carried it every where. I threw it on the counter at the speedy mart and bought a six pack. I walked out, already popping the lid off of one.
-Singing- Ronnie is crazy. Okay, now that I am done with that... here is your clip:
I polished the first one off in a matter seconds. I found a bench to sit down on. Next to me sat the remaining five beers. I grabbed one and mindlessly drank it. I wanted to die. I didn't want to kill anybody else. I couldn't kill anybody else. The next person to go would either be dad, Nate, or Two-Bit. I thought about it for a while. I didn't only kill people, I hurt them, or did something wrong. I made Steve and Megan break up and I hurt Josh before I killed him.
"Veronica Curtis, is that you?" somebody asked. I looked up to see who it was. Standing a few feet away from me was Janice Shepard. I nodded. She walked over to me and sat down, grabbing a beer. That was my beer. She had no right taking it. She turned to look at me. "What's wrong?" she asked me. I tried to open my mouth to tell her, but my mind wouldn't let me. I knew better than that, this was the same girl that spread cold rumors about everybody. She convinced quite a few people that Nate and Josh were gay. If I told her I killed Josh, she'd make up some sick and twisted story about how I brutally murdered him with a chainsaw because he kissed Nate. Yeah, I wasn't going to do that. Instead, I shook my head and reached for another beer.
Hope you enjoy. Now you have to wait in agony for the next death that comes very soon, although, I am not promising it is in the next chapter. Please review this, the faster you review... the faster it's done. The faster it's done, the faster you see all the pretty wonderful changes to 'Outsider Jess'. Eventually, all of the Jess stories will be edited and made pretty!