Chapter three: All's fair in tramps and ships

Anamaria couldn't readily believe what had just been said. In fact, she was standing in front of her old friend and former captain, with her mouth agape. Really, she could have smacked him for what he just said. They way she felt about the Black Pearl was practically how he does. Did...by the sounds of it. Imagine! A trollop to boot! She was livid.

"She is a bloody jade, Jack! A fucking slag!" Jack was taken aback by his old friends language, and drew his head back in surprise.

"But you see...I don't intend on giving it to her. Im not quite that doltish." Anamaria felt like delivering a stinging blow, and almost raised her itching hand, but kept it clenched at her side.

"So you turn dishonorable on us then?" Jack laughed at her anger, and put a hand on each of her strong shoulders.

"Love, Im a pirate. You know that, I know that, she knows it too. All's fair in tramps and ships." Anamaria rolled her eyes, and tried to get out of Jack's grip.

"If you are so lax with you ship, you should have just given it to me."

"Nah..too easy."

"I have a crew to be attending to." She snapped, and Jack threw up his arms, giving her and innocent look. She stalked off. Jack watched her go, admiring her luscious rump.

Meanwhile, in Port Royal, Elvira was having a horrid time; trying to make an apple pie.

"I don't see how this affects my bein' a lady." She grunted, smacking the dough for the crust all too readily.

"Its 'being'." Elizabeth said irritably from one of the stools that surrounded the cooking island in the large kitchen.

"Let me ask you something, Miss Elizabeth," Elvira gritted out, dusting her hands free of the flour and straightening up.

Anyone looking at her would have thought she looked delicious, like the pie. She had on a dress. An actual dress with petticoats and a corset that was synched as tight as can be, but she was still able to breath. She had an apron thrown over the wonderful creation of yellow silk and taffeta, and her red hair was pulled up in the type of up-do Ruth would wear. Her face was powdered with flour on each cheek, and she was beautifully rumpled. Simply scrumptious.

"How exactly can you afford this house, when you don't work...and your husband is a blacksmith?" Elvira rubbed her nose, and flour was on that too.

"Father is the one who bought this house for us. Now, don't over work the dough. It will become tough and hard to eat once cooked." Elvira dispelled the urge to pick up a clump of dough and throw it at the woman. Anything and everything was being closely monitored...just for Sparrow.

"What are the ladies up to?" Will entered the kitchen, then took a step back on seeing Elvira and Elizabeth glaring each other down.

"Apple pie for desert, then." He turned on his heel, and put his hand on the door, but stopped.

"Oh yeah, we are having a few guests over tonight. Four, to be exact." With a knowing smile, he walked out of the kitchen...almost dreading, however, that night's dinner.

"Captain, do you have a few screws loose?" Jack glanced down at the bold cabin boy.

"Shouldn't you be doing something?" He asked rudely. The cabin boy shrugged, but stood there still. Jack never felt too comfortable around this one. His name was Kian, something he doubted was real. If anything could be said about his looks, was the he was too good looking. He had tan skin that everyone acquired on a ship, brown, and black eyes. He was too bloody gorgeous. And that was sickening to Jack.

And what was with everyone yelling at him anyways? Just because he said he would give up his baby, didn't mean that he was actually going to. Geesh! Everyone was harping on him, and now, this lowly little cocky cabin boy was. Jack shooed him away from the helm, and he gracefully jumped, instead of using the five stairs. Jack rolled his eyes, and went back to his helm.

"Shes a bloody whore! Its not like Im telling a lady to be a lady." Jack yelled at Sam, who gave him an odd look. He was walking up to Jack, about to say something.

"Excuse me?"

"Never mind...whadaya want?" Jack pushed his hat back, scratched his head, and shoved the floppy thing back onto his mess of hair.

"Well...just...I dunno. Im done with everything you told me to do." Sam lowered his eyebrow, and stood at the ready. Constantly vigilant, and always on the lookout. Perfect pirate...perfect man for the job. Jack watched him for a moment, then sighed.

"You can trail Kian for me. I just don't trust em." Jack was silent a moment longer. "Do you think I'm being dim?"

"For betting your ship?" Instantly, Sam knew what he was talking about. He gave a shake of his head, blonde hair flying. "Nah. Its your own ship. And like you said, she is a whore. Its not too easy to be a lady, when whorish things are all you know."

"Amen to that." Jack said piously, looking heavenward.