Disclaimer: I own nothing. Are you happy now?
Author's notes: Wai! I'm so glad that so many people like an uke Akira. It just seems like I've read a lot more stories/doujinshis where he's the seme.
Comments about the reviews I've gotten. (1) I wouldn't let Akira get raped (molested –maybe, raped –no), lol. (2) A "truly good piece of literature" –Wah! That's quite a compliment, one I'm not sure I deserve, but thanks! (BTW, hostilecrayon, you should post more of your story. I want to see how Hikaru punishes Waya for getting Akira drunk.)
Chapter 7: Attempted Confessions
Even though the lovely boy with dark hair and fair, almost translucent complexion was no longer with him, Hikaru could still feel the texture of sweater material lingering on his fingertips.
Why? He asked himself, befuddled. He hadn't been wrong; he was almost certain of it. The way that Akira had looked at him with those barely focused eyes, gently flushing face, lips slightly parted spoke clearly to him. Any uncertainties had been wiped from his mind when he had taken the initiative to press his body against the other boy's lean figure, until now, that was.
"Ahhh, mou!" he cried, shaking out blond bangs, unsure if he was angry, merely confused, or more determined than ever. Biting his lower lip tentatively, he looked at Akira's spilled groceries and decided that he was determined enough to still chase after the boy tonight. Kneeling down, he began picking up the fallen food items, dusting them off, and putting them back into the plastic bag. Ready or not, he thought, here I come.
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By the time Akira reached his house, he found himself completely out of breath. Quickly, he took a key out of his pocket and let himself in, all but collapsing on the floor upon entry. Hurriedly, he shut the door behind him. Heart still jack hammering in his chest, he spun around leaning his back against the door. Slowly, he lowered his body sliding his back down against the door until his bottom touched the floor. He wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his forehead against his knees. Swallowing hard while gasping in breathfulls of air, he tried to calm himself.
Was Shindou really trying to do what I think he was? he questioned, doubting his original assessment, in a word, doubting himself. Akira had always assumed Hikaru would end up with Akari, seeing how familiar the two of them were.
But now …, he thought, now things are different. Aren't they? Uncertainty in himself gave away to that feeling of self-loathing that crept up every once in a while. I had always thought that Go was enough to keep me satisfied. In light of the new feelings that he had so long refused to acknowledge, Akira felt himself break down. The self-doubt was palpable, and the lack of control drove him crazy.
He put his hands to his head and heard his heart thump in his chest, heard the sound echo in his ears. Thumping interspersed with the rush of blood. He felt as if he were having an outer body experience. Thump! Thump! Thump! The sound became louder and louder, more and more insistent, until he realized the thumping wasn't all coming from the inside. The door against his back vibrated with the force of the knockings. Part of him wanted to ignore the sound, while the other part of him hoped that Hikaru was waiting on the other side of the door. Taking in a shaky breath, Akira managed to collect himself slightly. Face was once again calm and pale; hands were no longer trembling. Slowly, he turned the knob and allowed the door to yawn open before him.
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Hikaru stood in front of the Touya's house, holding the bag of forgotten groceries, feeling pretty confident in himself. I'm going to do it, he thought brazenly. Tonight I'll make him recognize me … as more than just a Go player. Tonight I'll make him realize that I'm worthy of him.
"Shindou-kun," Touya said, once the door had opened, revealing the blond haired boy with a cheerful smile on his face.
"I brought your groceries to you," Hikaru started, holding the plastic bag out as an offering. Without much more warning, he pushed his way in, past a slightly resistant Akira. "I can put these away." His voice was lively but controlled as he headed towards the kitchen.
"I – Shindou, I can do that myself."
"What you should to is take care of those hands," Hikaru commented, opening the refrigerator. "Wash them, and then put some antibiotic on them. Where do you keep the band-aids? I'll help you." And it was really that easy. Hikaru was amazed at how flippant his attitude seemed, especially when he was feeling quite the opposite. His head was dizzy as if he wasn't getting enough oxygen to the brain, and he seemed to be desperately gasping in every breath. With each passing moment, he expected Akira to open his mouth and insist that he leave. When Hikaru saw that the other boy still had not budged from his position by the counter, Hikaru nudged him onwards, pushing him towards the sink.
"Where do you keep your first aid stuff?" Hikaru asked, turning his head to watch Akira pad towards the kitchen sink.
"Hmm?" the other boy asked, turning his head around in surprise.
When he's caught off guard, he really is rather cute, Hikaru couldn't help thinking. Quickly, his eyes surveyed the dark haired boy, the slim, graceful figure, narrow hips …
"I said they were to your left, Shindou," Akira repeated again. The other boy was in some sort of daze; he could tell. Deep, murky green eyes were unfocused for the first time of the night, as he seemed to be gazing off at something much, much farther.
"Right," Hikaru replied, shaking his head, warm smile breaking over his face once more. He gathered some bandages and antibiotic, all the while keeping his eyes focused on the boy at the sink, taking in the image of a dark head bent down, silky hair falling softly on either side of a delicate face.
By the time he made his way to Akira's side, the quiet, dark haired boy was already drying his hands.
"Thank you," Akira said softly, reaching for the supplies that Hikaru had gathered. Instead of letting the boy grab the band-aids on counter, Hikaru, intercepted the reach, stopping the other boy's fingers with his own.
A small, nearly imperceptible gasp escaped Akira's lips, as his eyes searched Hikaru's face questioningly. With the pause, Hikaru took the chance to grasp Akira's fingers from underneath, turn his hand around, and smoothly press the other boy's hand against the counter.
Akira gulped hard as his pulse quickened. He took a deep, shuddering breath to try to steady himself from the sudden shock of Hikaru's aggressive actions. Although he felt as if he should move away from the boy with the reassuring smile and bleach blond bangs, power and resistance faded from his being as he watched the other boy apply ointment on the raw scratches that decorated the back of his hand. Instead, he felt warmth rush to his cheeks, as he stood rooted wordlessly in place, eyes focused on the other boy's fingers gliding over the top of his hand. Hikaru's touch was light and soft like a gentle caress of a rose petal. Unable to help himself, Akira sucked in a loud breath, transfixed as the boy smoothed a band-aid over the worst of the wounds before moving onto the next hand. Amazed, Akira watched as his rival counterpart took the liberty to grab his hand and set it on the counter before repeating the whole process over again.
"S-shindou?" Akira managed to utter. The tone in his voice indicated the insecurity that he was feeling, and he tried to look the other boy in the face, tried to read his eyes to no avail.
"I'm used to doing this," the other boy offered as a sort of explanation. "Akari used to get hurt all of the time following me around when we were little." Blond bangs hung in his face as his head was tilted downward while he worked gently.
Shaking his head, Akira realized how shocking the whole experience was, since he had never pegged Hikaru to have softness of any sort to him at all. But the feather-light touches of his fingers could not be mistaken for anything else but gentleness of the tenderest kind. A small noise escaped his throat, as he felt it close up rendering his voice useless.
"There," Hikaru said, pressed one final band aid on his rival's hand. With that, he looked up, shaking his hair out of his eyes, a crooked smile on his lips. The shy, speechless Akira in front of him was beyond adorable. He wondered what he would have to do to forever keep that faint flush on the other boy's normally milky-pale skin. His smile only widened as he looked into green eyes that gazed at him with stupefied wonder rather than with the customary passionate determination.
Hikaru realized that it was time, and nobody was more impatient than he. Taking a deep breath to calm his jangled nerves, he prepared himself to say something that was long delayed in its delivery.
"Touya," he began. Although he thought he was confident, his voice betrayed him, wavering as he called the other boy's name. He sucked in a breath, and another, and then another, feeling his heart beat wildly out of control. "I …"
Damn. He had thought through this event over and over in his mind before, rehearsing different things that he should say. Now none of his plans were coming to him, and all he could do was to dumbly stumble along his way, grasping for the right words. Eyes focused on Akira's face, he saw his rival's mouth open, as if he wanted to say something. Hikaru found himself shaking his head to indicate that it wasn't a favorable idea. Reaching out a hand, he grabbed Akira's right arm, which was resting conveniently on the counter. With a big gulp, Hikaru stepped even closer to the other boy, encouraged when the other boy did nothing to resist the advance. His deep green eyes met the brilliant flash of emerald colored ones. Hikaru could feel it, could feel Akira straitening his posture slightly, putting their bodies even closer to each other.
Here goes nothing, Hikaru thought, abandoning the words that refused to come to him anyways. Closing his eyes, he lifted his face closer to the other boy's. When he felt the tickle of a puff of breath against his face, he knew that his lips hovered near Akira's. Tentative lips hesitated momentarily before Hikaru found himself giving into his desire. With that, he pressed his mouth onto Akira's finding the flesh to be deliciously soft and yielding …
Author's notes: I think this is the point that I realized I have no plot. It's just an excuse for fluffy, yet dramatic shounen ai. Trying to make a story when all I had was one scene in my head has been a challenge. Seriously, I was motivated to write this after seeing fanart with Akira and Hikaru at a fast food restaurant together. Akira was holding a burger … and I thought, I can't imagine him eating a burger … he'd want to set it down and cut it up and eat it with a knife and fork cuz it's so messy.
I hope everyone is still enjoying my best attempts... at making a story/plot. : sweatdrop : Remember to drop reviews if you feel so inclined; I appreciate them.