Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo-dono, not me

Authors notes: this is Renji's thoughts about his life up to this point in episode 31 as Ichigo is beating him.

Alone once again

Damn him, damn her.

What did they think they would accomplish? Did they really think that they could get away with their little love affair?

Damn it, it should have been me with Rukia, not that little punk. I was the one that knew her longest, I was the one that was with her in the slums, I was there when she was brought into the Kuchiki family, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!

Fuck…FUCK…FUCK!

But no she had to fall for this little punk ass that's beating the fuck out of me, just so that he can save her, so that he can be the hero. So that he can be the one to stand there and take Rukia's hand…damn it, it should have been me. I should be the one that she feels for; I should be the one that fills her mind with happy thoughts, not this human turned soul reaper.

The moment that I saw the punk I wanted his head, but of course Rukia had to get in the way, her and her sentiment. I would have come ad gotten her when she lost her powers. We would have modified the punk's memories and her and I would have rode off into the sunset. Well that's what I would have liked to have done. But no…no she has to be noble about it and not ask for help. Oh but wait, that's a fucking contradiction. She did ask for help…from the whelp in front of me, this orange haired punk that has to show up and save her when she's here trying to save him.

What a fucking mess this is.

But he's here regardless. He's here fighting for her, and probably gonna die for her.

I want to stop him. I want to be the one to free Rukia from her prison…but I'm not gonna be. It's gonna be this orange haired kid. He's gonna beat me and he's gonna be the one to save her. He's gonna be her knight in shining armour. He's gonna get all the glory. And me…well I'll be where I am normally, in the back, just like everything else.

Rukia, my friend, my confidant, my…love. I'm doing this for you, everything for you. I hope you don't waste it.