Disclaimer: The amount I own of Hikago is none. Don't sue; I'm a poor college student. Wait until I invent a practical fuel cell (which would be awesome if I could), then sue; at least then I'll have money. J/K. NO SUING.

Author's notes: Thanks for all the reviews, everyone: chu : Reviews make the world go around. Well, maybe not … but I like them. On another note, I will try to be more careful, while proofreading this chapter. I must be getting sloppy in my old age. Now… let's GO!

Chapter 10: Without Him

Akira placed a stone on the goban after merely glancing down at the game. It was a pro-game, but his opponent was a lower dan. By the way that he was acting, Akira could tell that the other boy was frightened. The way that the he bit his lower lip nervously, shooting apprehensive looks at Akira between every move signified that fact more than clearly.

I'm not even trying. Akira wanted to scream his thought out loud, but knew he would never do anything as undignified as that. Instead, he waited for the next move to come, wondering why he felt as if something were missing. It was only moments later that Akira got the resignation he was expecting. Politely, he thanked his opponent for the game, even though inside he felt as if he had nothing to be thankful for.

Why do I feel so empty? he asked himself as he walked outside after marking his victory. Even though the day was proceeding as always, he felt like the world as he knew it had slipped away. Something was amiss, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what. Inside he ached, unable to stop the uncomfortable feeling from gnawing at his stomach.

Can't anybody challenge me? Where's my drive, my motivation? As soon as those thoughts filled his head, he felt as if he were being ridiculous. Everything was the same as before; all he had to do was to follow his father's footsteps, to keep moving forward. Even as he rationalized, that empty nagging in the pit of his stomach, undeniably caused by ennui (1), ate away at him leaving him feeling hollow and unaccomplished. He felt as if nothing were waiting for him, as if nothing had meaning anymore. Frustrated, he kept on walking, passing up the bus ride straight home in order to gather his thoughts. Why? he thought. What am I missing? Why do I feel like I'm not quite whole?

His mid-afternoon stroll became late afternoon wandering, which happened to take him past a park with a pathway and expansive fields on either side. Something caught his attention: raven hair with bleached bangs. The boy was kicking around a soccer ball, laughing.

Suddenly, memories that had been blocked for some reason rushed back to him like a torrential downpour. So many memories flooded over him, smothering him as if he were drowning. His first game with Hikaru, the draw he felt from the game. Their second game made him more determined than ever to best the first rival he had ever had. He recalled Hikaru's rise to the pros, his eyes meeting Akira's for the first time as equals. Their strange friendship that had seemed merely like petty arguing, but really was so much more. At least to Akira it had meant so much more. It had meant a companion who was his age that could understand his love for Go, and perhaps a person his age that could finally understand him. That strange friendship had become a deeper bond and was developing into something else entirely.

Why had I forgotten? How could I have forgotten? Of course, this was what was missing, Shindou at his pro game. All at once, he felt silly, thinking how odd it was that something as important as Hikaru's presence could have slipped his mind for even a second. Now, he was dying to see the other boy, being drawn by his warm presence and easy laughter. A smile spread across Akira's face as he quickened his pace to catch up with Hikaru, who was now walking back to a bench, ball tucked under his arm. Waiting for him, seated on that bench, sat a familiar girl with dark chestnut colored hair and a cheerful smile.

Fujisaki-san, he reminded himself. One of Hikaru's childhood friends.

"Shindou!" he called, closing the gap. "Shindou, where were you today? Do you want to play a game now?"

The boy with the soccer ball paused and turned around. The green eyes that looked at him were quizzical.

Perhaps he doesn't want to see me yet, Akira thought grimly, remembering what had happened last night. Had it only been last night? But, now he knew what he wanted. He knew, so everything would be fine. Things would return to normal, better than normal.

"Who are you?" Hikaru asked, tilting his head. "Akari, do I know him?"

Akari bit her lip, taking a sloe-eyed glance at Hikaru. "Umm."

"Normally I'd love to play anybody," Hikaru said cheerfully without waiting for a response. He bounced the ball on the ground. "But I'm not going to miss dinner just to play soccer." He flashed a brilliant smile and held his fingers in the shape of a "V."

"S-soccer!" Akira cried, outraged. "I'm not talking about soccer. I mean Go, like we always play!"

"You mean that old person's game?" Hikaru asked, waving his hand dismissively. "I don't even know how to play."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Akira countered. "You've been playing me every day for the past year. Many, many games. Shindou, are you saying that it has meant nothing?" Inside, he acknowledged that Hikaru had a right to be mad about how he handled things yesterday, but this was ridiculous. Angrily, his hands balled into tight fists that shook in their position at his sides. Biting his lip, he forced his eyes from letting frustrated, hurt tears surface.

"This guy is really weird, Akari," Hikaru commented carelessly. "And I don't even know who he is. Let's head home before we get in trouble."

"Go on, Hikaru," the girl said, voice soft, almost tentative.

"Tch," the blonde banged boy said, shaking his head. "Don't expect any sympathy from me if you get in trouble for getting home late." With that, he walked to the path not bothering to look back.

"Touya-san, was it?" Akari asked.

Akira barely heeded her question with a nod, before he asked his own. "Fujisaki-san, what's wrong with Shindou?" Even as he talked, he walked over to the girl who stood rooted at her position by the park bench.

"There was an accident," she said in a hushed voice. "His mom wasn't very clear about all of the details. Physically, he wasn't hurt too badly, but it seems that he's lost all of his memories from the past four years. I'm sorry."

Akira felt as if someone had poured a bucket of ice over his head. His stomach churned with the statement, and he thought for a moment he couldn't breathe. The world around him began to spin, as his mind first clicked to denial. "This can't happen, impossible!" he cried, shaking his head, feeling silky hair swish whip-like against his face. No, no, not Shindou.

"But just yesterday … he was, and we …" Shock held his tongue hostage as he felt something inside of him shatter. Those games, those thought provoking, truly inspiring games, he may never have them again. And the precious games they had shared were now lost to the other party, perhaps forever.

"Will he ever remember?" he asked, unable to keep his voice from shaking. Heatedly, he grabbed Akari's shoulders, shaking the surprised girl. "How can I make him remember?" Green eyes burned with fury, with hurt, as they bored into the blameless girl.

"I –Touya-san, I don't know. The doctor said he may never get them back."

"But his Go. I love his Go." I love him. The last sentence was unspoken, but the intent hung in the air.

With a sad, tremulous smile, she said, "It's a pity you couldn't have told him that when it would have meant something to him. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to head home."

"Fujisaki-san! Fujisaki-san!" Akira cried frantically after her. "What do you mean? What would it have meant?"

The girl turned around to face the other boy once more. "Oh, Touya-san. You know it would have meant the world to him. You're not dumb enough not to realize what you were worth to Hikaru." With that, she turned around again and hurried down the path that Hikaru had taken only moments earlier.

Akira could only stare at her retreating back, shock and the feeling of overwhelming loss holding both his tongue and body captive.

Author's notes: Did everyone enjoy: blinks innocently : … So now is the time that I say that I'm going on vacation for a couple of weeks and won't be able to access the internet, right? … I'm kidding. :p You know where to leave comments, constructive criticism, and encouragements.

(1) GRE voc word for the chapter. It's helping me study! Please bear with me as I prepare for grad school. ennui: dissatisfaction and restlessness resulting from boredom or apathy (taken from the Princeton Review book)