Lonely Angel

Disclaimer: I do not own any bit of this story, Fushigi Yugi belongs to Yuu Watase, and Harry Potter/Hogwarts belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros.

Author's Note: I'm sorry if Mitsukake seems OOC in this, but this is how I pictured the scene in the original series, if Shoka hadn't come up. Oh, and in my story, Shoka was never possessed by the sickness demon. Just for clarification. Oh, and if Tasuki seems a little OOC at one point here (when you get to it, you'll know what I mean), just remember how chivalrous he is, and all will become clear.

Two Ways to Face Grief

A silent figure crept through the darkness. Avoiding bodies twitching in sleep, it tip-toed towards its destination. The long haired form of Konan's emperor could now be made out in the darkness. Crouching down, the figure slowly reached a hand out to cover his mouth…

Hotohori tried to scream as he felt a hand close over his mouth, and he began to struggle against the person holding him down. Suddenly the dearest voice in the entire world was begging him to be quiet. As she leaned down, he could see by the last glowing embers of the fire that it was Nozomi kneeling by his side. Calming instantly, he tried to ask her what she was doing, but she motioned for him to be silent, and grabbed his hand to lead him away from camp.

They ended up by the lake they'd camped at. This one was particularly large, and deep. Nozomi turned to him and whispered, "We're going into the water. I'm going to perform a little spell that will let you talk and breathe under there." After the warning, she brought out her wand and whispered a few Latin words. Still holding his hand, she dragged him to the edge, and dove into the water, taking him with her.

For the next few minutes, they didn't talk much; Nozomi only occasionally pointed out a fish or plant and told him what it was. They soon came upon an area where there was room for two to sit down, and this is where Nozomi guided him to.

"We need to talk, but I didn't want to risk getting captured like last time. This seemed like the best plan. I think you'll agree that we got interrupted at a very bad time today."

"Yes, we did. You had something you needed to tell me?"

"A couple things, actually." She then proceeded to tell him everything she'd told Chichiri about the day her grandfather died.

"How could I deserve someone as wonderful as you when I have such a violent temper? I almost killed him, Hotohori! My actions were a slap in my grandfather's face. If he had been able to see it, he would have been so disappointed in me. I disgraced his memory, and I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for that."

"You and your grandfather were close then."

"Very. He was the only family I'd ever known. We never had one fight. He was such a gentle man; he took everything in his stride, and didn't let anything shock him. Not once did I ever hear him raise his voice. He always treated me like an adult, with respect for my opinions and feelings." Nozomi met his gaze with loving tenderness. "He was a lot like you, actually."

"Then he would have understood. You had just found out that you were alone in the world. The uncertainty coupled with the grief would try the most saintly of tempers. I think your grandfather would have been sadder at how you shut yourself off from everyone else afterwards."

Nozomi sighed in resignation. "Yes, I haven't acted very mature, have I?"

"But it's very understandable." Hotohori's tone was comforting, reassuring.

"Most things are understandable if you look at them a certain way. But thank you. I do feel a little better. I guess I'll just have to risk getting angry, in order to feel everything else too."

Hotohori put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed gently. "Yes, and remember, even if you get a little angry sometimes, that's completely normal, and people will forgive you."

Nozomi smiled warmly at him. "You should remember that too, you know."

"Oh no, it's different for emperors."

"You are an emperor, but you're also a person. I think you tend to forget that more often than you should."

Hotohori held her close. "But I have you to remind me. You've never seen me as anything but a man, have you?"

"I have to admit, at first I didn't think much about you at all. But as I watched you, I grew to love your compassion and empathy that you have for your people. Even though you act vain, you never once let that interfere with your opinions and behavior towards others. But most of all, I love your kindness, and your inner strength."

"You have all those things too, Nozomi. I wonder if you realize what an excellent Empress you'll be."

A pained expression came on to Nozomi's face. "What is it? Doesn't all this mean that you're going to marry me when this is over?"

"Oh, Hotohori. I can't. That's what Taiitsukun wanted to talk to me about."

"What? What do you mean, you can't? What does Taiitsukun have to do with this?"

Taking hold of Hotohori's hands, as much to calm him as herself, Nozomi tried to explain. "She told me that when all this was over, even if I made one of my wishes to stay here, I couldn't. That's the one wish the gods can't grant, because as long as I stay here, the portal is open to almost any person determined to get in."

"So what if a few extra people came in, we'd be together."

Nozomi began to cry, though Hotohori didn't see because they were underwater still. "You say that now, but I know once you've had time to think about it, you'll realize that you don't want to put your people in danger any more than I do. Believe me, Hotohori, when I say I would do almost anything to be with you. But if I put your people in danger, you might one day resent me for it, and I could never deal with that."

Roughly he pulled her towards him into a fierce hug. "I could never resent you, never. You have brought light and hope into my lonely existence, and I can only be grateful for that. As an emperor, I know you're right, and that I'll have to let you go. But as a man, I never want you to leave."

Desperately she clung to him. "I don't want to go either, but I have no choice. If it were up to me, I'd stay with you and completely forget my bleak existence before, and make this my world. But it's not my choice. When my duties as priestess are finished, I have to go back." Straightening up, she forced her tears to subside. "At least you'll be free to choose a woman who would make a good Empress."

Now Hotohori was near tears. "Nozomi, though I will have to choose an Empress for the sake of my people, you are the only woman I want for that position. Had fate allowed it, I believe you would have been the best Empress our country has ever known." Gently, he wiped away a tear, which was rather pointless in actual fact, but a sweet gesture.

"You're biased." He gave a weak smile.

"Yes I am. But when I see what a great priestess you are, I also see how you would be as my wife." He paused to control his rampant feelings. "I guess all I can ask of you now is that while you're here, you love me, and let me love you."

"Hotohori, even if you hadn't asked, I would love you until my dying day. That's inevitable; I couldn't stop if I wanted to." She paused for a moment, "I don't know if you already know this or not, but nothing physical can come of our relationship. In order to summon Suzaku, I have to be a virgin. That's the other thing Taiitsukun told me."

Gently drawing her back to him, he tucked her head under his chin. "I know. I just want to treasure what time we have with each other."

"It's going to be difficult. Every time I see you I want to touch you."

"I know, but can't we just take what comfort we can in holding each other close?"

Nozomi wrapped her arms around his waist. "I already do. But sometimes I can't help wanting…more." A blush crept into her cheeks. "I'll try to control myself, though."

"As will I. But please, try not to cry anymore. We still have time with each other, even if it's not that much."

She sighed. "Oh Hotohori…"

"What is it?" he asked, lifting her chin to look at him.

"I really want to kiss you, but I can't with the Bubble Head charm in place."

Suddenly Hotohori looked rather, mischievous. "Well, we do have all the time it takes for your tail to dry…"

Giggling, she said, "I suppose you're right. Shall we emerge, then?"

"I have one more question first."

"Yes?"

"Back in Kutou, when we were about to be executed, you smiled. Why?"

"When I was a kid, whenever I had to do something I didn't want to do and I was grumpy about it, Grandpa used to always tell me, 'You can't avoid it, so you might as well smile about it.' At first I didn't understand what he meant, but as I got older, I realized he was telling me that if you can't avoid it, accept it. But more than that, accept it with what grace and happiness you can. Those were some of his last words before he died."

"I think I would have liked to meet him."

Nozomi really did smile now. "You two would have gotten along really well. He would have liked you. Now, if there are no more questions, can we go up for that kiss now?" She looked at him with would-be innocent eyes.

"Of course."

Not letting go of each other for even one minute, they slowly swam straight up towards the surface of the lake, where the charm was promptly removed, and the two shared a kiss full of gentle tenderness, communicating better than any words just how precious they were to each other. Once they were on the bank, Nozomi carefully finger-combed Hotohori's silken hair to help it dry faster. Hearts full of each other; they talked until both were suitably dry, before heading back to camp, hand in hand.

The next morning, the almost unnoticeable tension that had been in the group before was gone, dispersed by Nozomi and Hotohori telling each other the truth, and knowing exactly how things stood. Jokes traveled more freely, laughter rang more clearly, and smiles were wider. After a particularly carefree breakfast, everyone pitched in to load everything onto the horses. Those present were shocked and appalled, however, when a splash was heard, followed by Nozomi's angry shout of, "God damn it!"

Upon investigation, they found that she was dripping from head to tail. And was more pissed than they'd seen her so far. Looking beyond those of her party and into the forest, she asked, "Who the hell did that?"

A boy of about 15 with dirty blonde hair entered the clearing. "I did."

Nozomi's only response was an icy glare, and a blunt, "Well you suck."

The boy smirked, and sent a demented yo-yo of death towards her immobile body. Not able to move out of its path, Nozomi closed her eyes, waiting for the pain to set it. It never did.

When she opened her eyes, she was in Tasuki's arms, several feet away. "Man you're heavy. Ever think of losing a few pounds?"

Nozomi smacked him upside the head. "Shut up." She thought for a moment. "And thanks." Tasuki gave a fanged grin and ran off to join the fight.

Meanwhile, Hotohori had grabbed his sword, and was locked in a fight with the newcomer, assisted by all the others except Chiriko, who had snuck over to Nozomi to make sure she was alright.

The numbers now being 5 to 1, the stranger paled a little, but kept fighting with an impressive determination. He'd managed to deprive Hotohori of his sword; Tamahome had several deep scratches from the yo-yos, as did Nuriko. So far, Chichiri and Tasuki were the only ones uninjured. Tasuki escaped because of his inhuman speed and Chichiri because he'd managed to hold onto his staff.

Knowing he was losing, but not wanting to lose his confidence, the boy shouted out, "I can't let you live, miko!"

"Keh! What have you got against us anyway? We've never seen you before." Tasuki was clearly impatient.

"I am Suboshi, of the Seiryuu Seven. That should be reason enough!"

Nozomi scoffed audibly. "Why?"

For some reason, this seemed to make Suboshi even angrier. "Your insolence knows no bounds, priestess!" Once again, his yo-yo came at her, but this time, it wrapped around her form with bruising force, and lifted her in the air as a shield. "Once you escaped from Kutou, Nakago sent me to take care of you. And for the crime of killing my parents, I was more than happy to agree to your death!"

It was final, she decided, he's crazy. Aloud she only said. "You seem to have your facts wrong. I've never killed anyone."

"Silence! I will hear none of your lies."

Another glare was his answer. "You know, you're really starting to bug me. If my wand wasn't out of reach, I'd teach you not to slander someone's reputation without thought or proof."

"Too bad, priestess." Using his yo-yos, he tossed her over the heads of her warriors, where she landed unceremoniously on a rock, and a pool of blood quickly began to form beneath her head.

Enraged on her behalf, everyone left conscious began to attack with renewed vigor, and they had soon destroyed the yo-yos, and crippled the young man himself. With a couple of broken ankles, he wasn't going anywhere soon. Chichiri used his magic to transport the troublemaker to the border between Konan and Kutou.

Nuriko bandaged Nozomi's head, but she remained unconscious, and the bleeding refused to stop. They talked about it, and decided that the best thing to do would be to get her to a doctor as quickly as possible. After drying her legs off, Hotohori mounted his horse, and Nuriko gently handed him the invalid once he was stable. He leaned her inert form against him, her head resting in the crook of his neck and shoulder, and his arms keeping her upright, while he reached around her to grab the reins.

After two hours of slow traveling, as Nozomi's bandages had to be changed frequently, the silent group came upon a lone house.

"Why don't we stop here, no da? Then Nozomi can rest inside while one of us goes to fetch a doctor? It can't be good for her to ride a horse in her condition, no da."

Generally agreeing on the wisdom of this plan, they guided the horses to the small cabin. It was almost certainly abandoned, the grass around it was untended, the wood was rotting in places, and the roof was badly in need of repair. Thinking it was certainly empty, and eager to get off his horse, Tasuki hurried inside to open the door for Hotohori to carry Nozomi inside.

Standing in the doorway, the two men looked on in astonishment. Literally every surface was covered with small jars full of medicine. In a corner, a little white cat was happily contemplating their presence. It appeared this cabin was not so abandoned after all, just neglected.

Before the others could get much more than a peek at their new surroundings, a deep, masculine voice interrupted their thoughts. "What are you doing here? Go away."

The newcomer was a tall man, taller even than Hotohori. His appearance was unkempt, if not for the unusual intelligence in those dark, serious eyes, and his refined style of speech, he might almost have been a common beggar.

"Who are you?" Tasuki wanted to know with characteristic bluntness.

"I live here. Now go away." If you could be said to find any emotion in his demeanor and expression, it was annoyance. But that was only if you looked very closely. The similarities between this man, and Nozomi when she had first arrived in this world were so strong, that Tamahome felt compelled to remark upon it to Nuriko.

"Wow. He and Nozomi would have gotten along really well if they'd met sooner." The cross-dresser quirked an eyebrow in amusement, but otherwise showed no sign of having heard him. Instead, he approached the man with a request.

"Please sir, our friend here needs a doctor. We were hoping that she could rest here while we went to fetch one. She is in no condition to ride a horse any longer."

"No doctor will come here. The nearest village is that way." He pointed directly behind him, and then strode towards the door. "If you'll excuse me, I have to feed my cat."

"Wait!" Tamahome said. "What do you mean 'no doctor will come here'? Why not? Look at her! She obviously needs medical attention; she's lost way too much blood. It's not like we'd even be bothering you, she unconscious, for heaven's sake!"

The man seemed to consider his words. "She and one other may stay. But no doctor will come here."

Without waiting for him to change his mind, Hotohori quickly deposited her on a surface that Nuriko cleaned off by shoving everything to the floor. He stayed by her side, while everyone else promised to return soon with a doctor from the village.

The strange man gave no indication that he was aware of their presence any longer, absorbed in the task of feeding his cat. Sick with worry, the silence was oppressive to Hotohori. In spite of every less than subtle hint that his presence was not welcome, he tried to make simple conversation with the man.

"What's your cat's name?"

"Tama."

Hotohori paused, but it soon became clear that that was the only answer he was going to get. Thinking quickly, he pressed on. "What are all the jars for?"

This time his only answer was an angry glare. 'Okay, so that's a taboo subject.' "Thank you for allowing Nozomi to rest here. We were traveling when she was attacked. She hit her head on a rock."

Grudgingly, the man answered. "She must have hit it fairly hard."

Hotohori shivered at the memory. "Yes, she did. Riding on a horse for two hours afterwards hasn't helped any either."

The man opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but then he closed it with a snap, and turned away from Hotohori. Confused at his curious behavior, Hotohori turned back to check on Nozomi. She seemed flushed, so he checked her forehead. 'Warm. Is she developing a fever? Oh please hurry everyone, she needs a doctor!'

Meanwhile, everyone else was at the doctor's house in the village. The man was gathering his medical bag, preparing to head out, when he asked, "So where is the young lady?"

"A cabin about a mile west of here." Chiriko quickly supplied. The doctor paled.

"You don't mean Myo Juan's place?"

"If Myo Juan is a freakishly tall man who looks like a beggar, then yeah, I guess we do." Tasuki was a little wary, with the tall man's warning of 'no doctor will come here' ringing in his head.

"I'm not going there. I don't care how bad she is, I'm not going up there. That man is creepy! Besides, he turned his back on this village months ago when we had an epidemic. I'm not going to help him with his problems now. Get him to help you."

"What do you mean, no da?"

"You didn't know? Myo Juan is the best doctor in these parts. Or at least he used to be until he gave up medicine. If your friend is in trouble, get him to save her. I'm not lifting a finger."

Not all of the arguments in the world, either verbal or physical, could sway him, or any other doctor in the area from that decision. So the group had to head back to the cabin with the bad news.

Hotohori heard approaching footsteps with almost frantic relief. Nozomi's fever had gotten worse, and his only conscious companion was perceptibly uneasy, though uncommunicative. He hurried outside to greet his friends, when something amiss came to his attention.

"Where is the doctor?"

Before heading inside, the others brought him up to speed on what the doctor had told them. Before they finished, Nuriko slipped away to see how Nozomi fared. She was starting to whimper in her sleep from the fever. Nuriko gently wiped the sweat off her brow, before turning to inspect their host.

The half anxious looks and conflicted frown he gave their priestess did not go unnoticed. Nor did the determined set of his jaw as he caught himself expressing what he sought to hide. Nuriko decided it was time to speak, and find out what the problem was.

"You were right. None of the doctor's would come here. It appears they resent you for not helping with an epidemic they had."

"I don't practice medicine on people anymore." His voice was cold, determined, and most of all, pained. But it was a pain that could easily be misinterpreted as anger.

"Why not?"

"I just don't!" He shouted.

"So you won't help her?"

"No." Having pronounced this, he turned his back on both of them.

"Then she dies." Nuriko's voice was just as matter-of-fact as his. The man was clearly taken aback, not expecting Nuriko to be so blunt.

"Get someone else to help her."

"They refuse to come. If we move her again, she won't make it. If you won't help her, she dies."

"She won't be the first."

"And you're not even going to try."

"I don't work on people!" He was back to shouting. Obviously, Nuriko was hitting a nerve.

"But what has she done to you, that she deserves to be condemned to death? For that is what you are doing." This interruption came from Chiriko, who had entered with the rest of the warriors. The five of them were crowded round the door, silent, but determined.

"I keep telling you, I don't work on people anymore!"

"Why?" Tamahome insisted on knowing.

"Go away!"

Tasuki, working desperately to contain his anger at such an obstinate refusal to help an innocent woman, approached their panicked host. "Look at her. Look at her dammit! This woman is kind, loyal, and not nearly as annoying as the rest of her sex. She is dying, and you are her only hope for survival. If she needs blood, everyone in this room would gladly give her blood, if you want us to get on our knees and beg, we will. But we cannot save her without you."

Nozomi let out a particularly loud whimper, and struggled to say something. At first, it was the slightly hint of a whisper, but with the passing of a few seconds, they could distinguish one word. "Hoto…ho…ri."

Without hesitation, Hotohori knelt at her side, stroking the arch of her brow, gently clasping her hand in his, calming her with his touch. If anyone had spared a glance for Juan during this touching scene, they would have been amazed at the pain in his features. Inaudibly, he sighed.

"I will help."

This time the pain in his voice was so apparent, that not even Tasuki had the heart to utter his usual 'about damn time'.

Quickly and efficiently taking her temperature, and then examining the wound on her head, a frown settled on his features. His left hand twitched under his bandages. Something that sounded remarkably like "Suzaku give me strength" came from his mouth before he unwrapped the bandages, and held his freed hand above her head injury.

A brilliant green light surrounded Nozomi, as well as pretty green bubbles. The wound began to close before everyone's eyes. When the light died down, her skin was a more healthy color, and there was no trace of her head injury. "She won't wake for a few hours yet, and she won't be at full strength for a few days. But she will live."