Author/Banshee Queen: "He he he, I had fun writing that scene with Hector & Priam. And I love the fact that Apollo is silent yet commands obdience just by a ball of fire coming out of the sky to hit Hector. Sorry to any Hector fans out there, I am one too but this was just too good an oppurtunity to poke fun at our hunky-hero."

Disclaimer: "Ok I've starting to think I OWN Troy now...which I do...the Dvd I mean. Lol."

Chapter 7: Where Apollo Doesn't Shine

Scene changes to Troy where we see Helen & Paris on a chariot & Hector on his horse behind them. They go through the city & finally reach the top where they are greeted by Old King Priam.

Priam: (With arms open wide) "Aah my favourite, first-born, heir to my throne son. Hug me!"

Hector: To Paris "Can't touch this!" (Dances around wildly)

(Paris goes to hug Priam)

Priam: (Looks over Paris's shoulder) "Next!"

(Paris cries)

Helen: "Hey there old guy! Whoa watch the hip!"

(Nudges Priam. Priam nearly has heart-attack)

Priam: "I've heard rumours of your beauty, & dang weren't the gossips soooooooo wrong this time girl!"

(Helen frowns. Family goes inside building. Andromache jumps into Hector's arms & both start pashing madly.)

Whole Court: "Ewwwwwwwwww! Get a room!"

(Brieis runs down stairs to Paris & both start pashing)

Helen: "Hey aren't you guys cousins or something?"

Briseis & Paris: "Uhhh…no…"

(Both wipe mouths)

Hector: "Hey she got the virgin robes on now! Dang! What's it like making love to a God Briseis?"

Briseis: "It's fun…I guess…" (Looks at Hector funny)

Scene goes to Priam & Hector talking in a hall

Hector: "Yo dad aye this is THE LAST thing we need right now."

Priam: "It is the will of the Gods. Everything is in their hands aye."

Hector: "Oh screw the Gods! Do ya' know what's in my hand? A Fist!" (Waves fist at the sky)

(Gets hit by lightening bolt)

Hector: (While rubbing arm) "Owwwww that hurt. Ok ok Zeus I'll be nice. (Mutters under breath) Meanie…"

Priam: "Hey I know! We could send a 'I'm sorry' card to Menelaus & some flowers!"

Hector: "Awww geez dad you know he'll make guacamole with their eyeballs."

Priam: "Aye true dat boy, I guess we'll have to send her on a ship back home eh? But your sissy bro loves this chick for real, even though her breasts aren't."

Hector: "This is my country dad, & my country men aye, I don't wanna' see em' cry just so Paris can get Helen all to himself. I wanna' turn!" (Cries)

Priam: "Now now Hector what have I taught you about sharing?"

(Looks limply at his father)

Priam: "I give up. Anwayz, we're safe here behind our walls, Apollo watches over us."

Hector: "Really? And how many battalions does the sun-god command aye? By the time I'm through with this 'Sun-God' I'll have shoved my sword up where the sun don't shine! "

(Ball of fire comes out of sky & hits Hector)

Hector: (Has third degree burns all over arms) "Goddamit stop doin that!" (Shakes fits up at sky)

(The Sun flares up unexpectedly)

Hector: (Says meekly) "Ok alright I'm sorry." (Mutters under breath) Bully God…"

Scene changes to Helen & Paris in their chamber. Helen looks out to sea.

Helen: "They're coming for me. The wind is bringing them closer."

Paris: "Aah no shit Sherlock! What'd you think? They'd use they're oars?"

(Helen turns to Paris)

Helen: "Aaah yeah. Duh!"

(Paris rolls eyes)

Paris: (Under his breath) "Whatever…"

Author/Banshee Queen: "More long chapters coming up guys, stay tuned."