Disclaimer: Do I really need to write these anymore? Everyone already knows who these characters belong to, and it isn't me.
Author's Notes: I'm going home! Home: the land of dialup on my parent's crappy computer. I'm also taking that dreaded GRE test (I'm really showing my age -.-; ). Then I'll have to see about getting internet for my new apartment when I get back to school. For those reasons, I won't be able to update as quickly as I have been. I hope everyone enjoys the chapter! You know where to leave comments for me to come back to.
Chapter 12: A Little Understanding
"SAI!" Hikaru cried happily at the sight of his purple haired companion. It was times like this he could tell he was dreaming. Seeing Sai was a definite sign. Like always, the dream begun in a field filled with grasses and reeds, but the original, picturesque scenery would fade into something else. Hikaru knew.
"Where are you going to take me today?" Hikaru asked, catching up with his much missed friend.
Sai just smiled.
Hikaru knew that he wouldn't say anything out loud. He never did. But Hikaru found that he always seemed to know the message Sai wanted to convey, regardless.
"Sai?" Hikaru asked again, when his friend kept on walking. Around him, the original background faded into blacks and then muted into dull grays of walls inside of a building. A scene took form in front of Hikaru, and he recognized a familiar looking little boy with a silky cap of chin length hair and bright, inquisitive, green eyes. It was clearly Akira at a much younger age; he couldn't have been older than five at this point.
"You know I've been fighting with Touya," Hikaru muttered sourly, mood plummeting. But still, he found that he couldn't keep his spirits down, watching the little boy standing at his father's side clutching his father's hand.
Damn, Touya Meijin's been wearing that same getup for a LOOONG time, he couldn't help but thinking before his attention turned back to the little boy. Hair bounced back and forth as the little boy bobbed his head from left to right humming a tune softly to himself.
That's classical music, Hikaru realized, horrified at the aberration. But, still, young Akira looked contented, a smile spreading across plump cheeks, eyes twinkling merrily as he continued humming quietly. As always, he was dressed formally, more so than the sweaters and button ups that he preferred now. But, somehow, little Akira looked completely comfortable in his suit with the shorts and knee socks, wide-eyed and seemingly carefree.
Hikaru's mouth dropped opened, gaping at the sight. He's … adorable, he couldn't help but thinking. This precious image of Akira that only existed in the past would have to be etched into his mind. Shaking his head, part of him wanted to laugh at this Akira, so different from the young man he had become. Hikaru found Akira quite striking when he was focused and serious, drawn to his drive and motivation like nothing else. He found the flustered Akria that he normally argued with cute and slightly naïve. But this Akira he was seeing in front of him was absolutely one of the most adorable things he had seen in his life.
"Touya's quite different," Hikaru commented. He would have said more, but the teacher that was standing in the hallway with the Touyas had begun to talk.
"How is he in that Go class?" the teacher asked Kouyo.
"At the top," Akira's father replied lowly, casting a slight watchful eye to his son. "He has been for a while."
"Then he has a talent for that as well," the teacher said shaking his head. In his hand, he held papers, papers that were being wrinkled by the force of his grip.
"Not talent," Kouyo corrected, eyes focused on a little Akira who never once stopped humming his tune. "Hard work. Nothing is achieved without hard work and perseverance." He softened slightly. "Plus Akira loves the game."
Little Akira stopped humming. "Un!" he uttered in agreement nodding his head for emphasis, smile broadening at the mention of the game that gave him cherished time with his father. "I love it!" (1)
"Yes. Yes," the teacher mumbled. "But look." At this point he shoved the paper in Kouyo's face. "You can't deny this. Look at these numbers. These are his standardized tests. We gave him an IQ test as well. Look at how high they are!"
Akira's father calmly took the papers in his hands, eyes running across the numbers. "Akira," he said, voice booming.
"Yes, father," the little boy answered looking up and blinking large eyes.
"Stay here for a moment, son."
"Yes father," the boy answered automatically, straightening his posture as his father and his teacher disappeared into the room they were right outside of.
Even though they had disappeared into another room, Hikaru could still hear them talking about Akira, and he knew that little Akira could hear them clearly as well.
The bright smile drooped a little bit at the corners of his mouth and the light in his eyes dimmed slightly.
"Your boy is gifted," the teacher said. "Can't you see?"
Hikaru couldn't hear the Meijin's reply, the voice was too low, and he conjectured that Akira could not hear him either.
"Aren't you proud?" the teacher was asking, his voice rising sharply.
More mumbling ensued, and soon Hikaru heard approaching footsteps, loud and angry sounding.
"Akira, let's go!" Kouyo was saying even before he exited the room.
With that, Akira widened his sweet smile once more and rushed to meet his father at the door.
Oh my God, Hikaru thought beyond shock. Did I just see him dimple? Damn, I should get him to smile more.
Although the amiable child looked as if his surroundings were the last thing on his mind, the opposite was very much the truth. The seemingly oblivious child had heard enough, enough to get his mind working, enough to keep the original happy sparkle from reaching his eyes even as he smiled through his disappointment. For some reason, Hikaru was very much aware of the private thoughts of little Akira and was shocked at the conclusion that he had drawn from the parent teacher meeting.
Father's not proud of me. I must work even harder to earn his approval.
"Sai!" Hikaru gasped, appalled. "That's ridiculous. Everyone can see the pride that Touya Meijin has in his son."
Sai merely shrugged, and Hikaru voiced the ghost's thoughts. "Except for Touya himself." His voice was hushed and thoughtful.
As Akira walked away with his father, Kouyo's figure began to fade, and Akira began to age slowly. Other memories flooded into Hikaru's head, unknown memories that were completely necessary for understanding the other boy. It seemed as if little Akira's presence was often overlooked, but the bright boy heard everything and took everything to heart.
"Your boy is so mature for his age," someone commented to Touya Meijin.
"Yes. Yes he is," the Mejin answered, the tone in his voice softening slightly, a smile lightening his normally serious face.
A young Akira, who was replaying old Go games in the corner, scribbled lessons learned in a notebook. His diligent work had not distracted him enough to catch the comment. Father likes the fact that I am mature, he thought. Then that's it. No matter what I do, I'll be mature. I'll grow as quickly as I can. My Go, my school work, no matter what. One day he'll tell me that I've done a good job. With a satisfied smile, Akira buried his head deeper into the notebook, eyes glancing from the game to the pages of painstakingly handwritten notes.
The second scene faded into another one. This one was at night, in a familiar den, the Touya's family den.
"I taught you about this the other day," the Meijin said facing his son at the goban, face serious. "What should you do in this situation?"
"Tsuke here?" he asked pointing out the spot, even though he knew very well that that was the answer.
"Be more certain in your answer," the Meijin cautioned. "Uncertain play only leads to an uncertain heart. That can cost you the game, Akira."
The boy smiled and nodded at the lesson, but inside, Hikaru heard his thoughts. Still not good enough. I have to grow more. I have to make him proud, like he told me before. In order to that, I have to work harder … work harder.
"This is awful!" Hikaru yelled at Sai. "Touya Meijin's so stern all of the time. Is he always like this?" Poor Touya, what a way to grow up.
Sai shook his head.
The corner of Hikaru's mouth turned down into a frown. "Not like this all of the time, but compliments given to Touya by the Meijin are few, aren't they?"
Sai only smiled.
"And he gets plenty of… encouragement." Hikaru's voice was dull. Unlike Akira, Hikaru wasn't raised by constantly being told "to aim farther, to do better." Also unlike Akira, Hikaru had never been at the top of anything he did, and it seemed increasingly unfair to him that young Akira never allowed himself to realize to the extent of which he excelled, not until he had a direct comparison. And even then, it seemed as if the boy was only interested in aiming higher, achieving the next level, never dwelling in his successes.
"No wonder Touya cares so much what other people think."
Sai cocked his head, furrowed eyebrows showing his disagreement.
"Not what people like his peers would think, but elders like his father would think. He carries the burden of being his father's son. It motivates him, but puts so much pressure on him at the same time."
Sai rewarded his observation with a smile.
It's no wonder he is the way he is, Hikaru thought. It's no wonder why he's so closed about himself, afraid to open up. The pressure that his father brings, he has to carry that weight on him as he rises in the Go world. He's afraid to step out of the box of perfection that he has defined for himself. He's afraid of disappointing his father, of disappointing everyone. Feeling the constant need to seek approval from someone, it's frustrating. A wry smile spread on Hikaru's lips. He knew the feeling very well, although not nearly to the depths that Akira did. Seeing Akira's growth before his eyes made his heart swell with emotion, and he cherished the other boy even more than before.
"I understand now, Sai," he said. "I understand Touya and the reasons behind his reservations. Thank you."
The ghost just smiled and held something in his hand. Slowly, his arm outstretched to hand the item to Hikaru.
Cell phone? That's odd.
Not a moment later after the thought crossed his mind did a shrill ring sound through his room, waking him completely. Fumbling, Hikaru grasped for the phone he was so sure he had left on his nightstand.
"Gotcha," he said triumphantly. Eyes widened when he saw who was calling for him so early in the morning. "T-touya," he whispered, clicking the on button in order to allow the call to come through.
Author's notes: I see Akira being raised this way. Touya Meijin's so scary. He's got to be one of those Asian parents, if you know what I mean.
(1) In this ff I chose not to incorporate Japanese (except for name suffixes), but I imagined this particular response from Akira in Japanese. Just picture little Akira in his cute little suit, blinking those big, innocent eyes, saying, "daaaaaaaisuki," while a smile spreads across his round, baby-fat covered cheeks. Kya! It's too precious. : glomps Akira : … : regains normal composure : I'm done now.