Author/Banshee Queen: "The chapters after this one are a lot longer guys as I promised...AND...finally Jim your chapter has come! Thenext chapter is yours! Read on! Lol."
Disclaimer: "Would I lie to you that I own Troy? (Winks) Look at my eye, I'm winking."
Chapter 8: Way to Ruin My Day / Liposuction
Hector is sitting on his bed holding his son Astyanax.
(Astyanax bites Hector's thumb)
Hector: "Oww damit. Even my own son hates me. What next?"
(Bell tolls. Hector gets up & goes to balcony)
Hector: "Aaaw great! Way to ruin my day! Now I've got those bastard Greeks invading. Could my day get any worse?"
(Storms off)
Scene cuts to Paris & Helen. Paris walks to balcony.
Paris: "Shit they did use they're oars…"
Scene cuts again to Hector down in the amoury
Hector: "Hey man when is the army gonna' be ready?"
Lysander: "Half of our men are still coming in from sleeping in, we have to make their coffee, get them into their spanky pants, all that."
Hector: "Make it sooner dude or I'll take your spanky pants away."
(Lysander gulps)
Scene cuts yet again to Achilles & his Myrmidons on their boat.
Achilles: "Pull down your skirt aye Patroclus, you won't be mooning anyone while I'm around."
Patroclus: "Wha? Hey my buns are tight enough."
Achilles: "Not as tight as mine aye!" (Moons Patroclus)
(Patroclus throws up)
Scene changes to Hector & his rearguard assembling themselves in front of Troy's gates to give inspiring speech.
Hector: "All my life I've lived by a code, & the code is simple; rather like me!" (Smiles toothy smile)
(Glaucus & Tecton rolls their eyes)
Hector: "Honour the Gods, love your woman, & defend your- (Bird poops on his shoulder)
Hector: "Ok anyone got a Kleenex?"
(Army rides off without him)
Hector: "Guys! Wait up!" (Rides after army)
Scene changes to Achilles & his Myrmidons on their boat.
Achilles: "Myrmidons, my brothers of the tan." (Myrmidons moon Achilles)
Achilles: "I'd rather moon beside you than any army of thousands. Let no bum forget how tanned ours are, we've had lipo!"
(Myrmidons shake asses)
Achilles: "You know what's there, waiting, beyond that beach. MORE LIPOSUCTION! Take it! It's yours!"
(Myrmidons shakes asses more)
Patroclus: (Shakes head)
Author/Banshee Queen: "Next chappie Jim..."