Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. I'm just borrowing them for ff purposes.
Author's notes: This is it; everyone, enjoy the last chapter!
Chapter 14: What Goes Around Comes Around
Akira pushed his way through the people that were exiting at the same stop he was, trying to make final decisions about what he'd say to Hikaru when he reached the other boy's house. Before that could happen, a pair of eyes caught his attention. It was Hikaru, and those deep green eyes of his were focused intently on him.
Shock coursed through Akira. Although he wasn't quite sure how he wanted to approach the delicate subject of their growing feelings for each other, he let another emotion - anger - which he was much more familiar with take over.
"What are you doing here, Shindou?" he asked hurrying over.
"I came to meet you," Hikaru replied puzzlement shining in his eyes, brows furrowed in confusion.
"I told you to stay at your place!" Akira exclaimed, putting all of his icy coolness into his eyes as he stared down at the sitting Hikaru.
"I wanted to see you earlier!" Hikaru shot out. Touya Akira, you are impossible, he thought. You say insensitive things, treat me coldly, anger me, but I'm still drawn to you. I still want you.
While arguing, Hikaru didn't even notice when the qualms about their situation had slipped away. He couldn't identify the point when he no longer felt the threat of oncoming fits of nervousness. Somehow, all of his earlier tensions had eased, and he realized that being like this was just fine. The rapport he and Akira had together, even if it did seem like childish bantering, was nice the way it was, not to say that Hikaru would be forever placated by a platonic relationship. Touya, even if you aren't ready now, I'll wait until you are. I'll wait for you to come around, and I know you will.
It was at this point that Hikaru realized he was not really listening to Akira's rant, a fact that was reinforced when he felt a sharp nudge on his shoulder.
"I can tell that you aren't listening to me now!" Akira continued with his tirade.
"Huh?" Hikaru asked, snapping back to reality, blinking wide eyes innocently.
"I was saying," Akira punctuated, "that you can't even listen to one thing I say. I told you to stay put at your house."
"Hey, if I had waited for you to come, my mom would have been awake. How am I supposed to explain your early visit?" he retorted.
"That's not the point!" Akira cried.
"Then what is the point?" Hikaru asked, feelings of frustration coming easily to him. "What are you trying to get at?"
"What would I have done if something had happened to you on your way here?" Akira demanded.
The tone to his voice was heated, full of that fiery Akira anger. But the words that were spoken conveyed a completely different meaning. Even Hikaru didn't miss the message of Akira's last question, which showed concern and caring. It was all he needed to hear.
Hikaru's hands, seeming to have a life of their own, unclenched themselves and grabbed Akira's. When Hikaru looked up at the other boy with a smile, he saw surprise shine in the once furious sea green eyes. The emotions smoothed out in those eyes, softened, as signs of anger dropped off of his pale face.
"Touya," Hikaru encouraged, gazing longingly at the other boy.
"Shindou, I …" He felt himself falter, swaying in his standing position.
With an understanding smile, Hikaru brought his hands, still clasped around Akira's, from Akira's side to the front between the two of them. Then, his grin widened as eyes twinkled mischievously. Taking the initiative, he tugged down, urging the other boy to kneel to his level, and he was mollified as he watched Akira lose his footing.
Akira mouth formed a wordless "o" shape as he felt his legs trembled feebly, folding underneath him like that of a newborn foal trying unsuccessfully to stand for the first time. Helplessly, he sank to his knees and found himself looking up at Hikaru's kind, accepting face. Weren't we just fighting? He asked himself, unsure at when the mood had changed.
"You care, Touya, don't you?" Hikaru prodded gently.
Akira's eyes widened, as he felt the words leave him once more. Was this really Hikaru that was looking at him with such understanding eyes? Automatically, his head nodded, even if only weakly. Still, he felt as if it weren't enough. I have to speak, he told himself. I don't want to lose the chance of having him in my life.
Hikaru shook out his hair, tousling fine golden strands, and gave a good-natured smile. "That's all I needed to know."
Akira stared at Hikaru, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, unsure at where Hikaru's new understanding had come from. Last night, the other boy had been pretty straight-forward with his demands on what he needed to hear, and Akira felt as if he should still deliver something. The boy, this boy in front of him that meant so much to him had a fear of losing people he loved. If he could help ease that worry, he should, and he knew it. Before he could speak, Hikaru continued with his own thoughts.
"It's okay," he said. "I understand that you're hesitant to say such things, so it's okay if you're not ready to say it now. I know how you feel even if you can't tell me, and that's enough for now. Until you're ready to say it, I'll say it enough for the both of us. I like you … more than a friend and rival. I want to be the one that can kiss away your uncertainties and make you feel better."
The last two statements were soft and simple, and Akira was able to feel the truth in Hikaru's words. Heart constricting painfully, he wondered where the kindness and understand was coming from. Everything about Hikaru's behavior right now moved him deeply, turning his insides to a mess of jangled emotions, with need quickly becoming the strongest of them all.
Why is he being so nice? Akira thought, trying once more to gather his wits, trying to overcome the social awkwardness that had become a way of life for him. If he can be so understanding, if he can cut back on his demands … even if I'm not ready to tell everyone like he is … I can at least tell him …
"And so," Hikaru continued, hesitating before he came to the decision to make a rather bold step. "A-Akira." He tested the new name with his mouth and found that it rolled off of his tongue easily.
Deep, olive-green eyes glanced at Akira's face, searching for approval to use his familiar first name. The sea-green eyes that had just moments before been filled with painful insecurity widened with the sparkle of new hope. The flush that rose on Akira's cheeks made Hikaru want forsake his rival's hands in favor of cupping the face in his hands and of brushing the indication of the gathering warmth.
To Hikaru the signals that Akira was sending were more than clear, and it warmed his heart to know that he was melting Akira's uncertainty, cutting swiftly through that emotionless façade. Hikaru continued, unable to resist the urge of saying the name again. "Akira, I want you to feel as if you can tell me what you're scared of." With that, he gave into his desire to touch the other boy's face, laying Akira's hands gently on his lap before disengaging his fingers from the other boy's.
Hikaru made sure that his movements were slow and smooth, as hands gently cupped Akira's face, thumbs brushing lightly against the flushed cheekbones.
Akira, he thought relishing the way that Hikaru said his name. Everything about the way Hikaru was acting today seemed to reach him, and, for once, his desire outweighed all of his worries. "I don't want you to disappear on me," he whispered hoarsely. He felt a prickling warmth gather in the corner of his eyes and prayed that he wouldn't cry.
Hikaru let the breath he had been holding woosh out. This was it? He knew better than anybody that being disappeared on was not fun. "I wouldn't do something like that to you," he reassured, letting his hold on the other boy's face go in order to gently brush at the bottom of Akira's eyes with the side of his index finger.
Now that he had started, Akira felt as if he couldn't stop, that if he did stop, he'd never say the words that he needed to say. "I'm afraid that you'll change your mind," he continued miserably dropping his head so that his eyes stared at the dull gray ground instead of looking into Hikaru's bright eyes. "That the more you get to know me the more you'll think that I'm not worthy of you."
Say WHAT? Hikaru thought, unable to keep his eyes and his mouth from widening in shock. And I thought that I was the one who had to worry about not being good enough, of not being special enough. "Don't worry about things like that," Hikaru managed to say once he found his voice again. Look at me, Akira. Look at me!" The command, although soft, held authority, and he was pleased to see the dark head before him snap up to reveal worried eyes filled not just worry but with a self doubt that Hikaru had never seen in the normally self-assured Akira. "I wouldn't do anything like that to you."
"I'm sorry," Akira said. "You have been so supportive today, and all I've done is be uncertain." From that point, he seemed to gather himself enough to put on a watery smile, somehow making the tears rescind from his eyes. "I … I may not be ready to say it to everyone like you are, but… I can tell you …"
Hikaru felt his heart soar, the beginnings of a grin breaking across his face.
"You mean a lot to me, Hi-Hikaru." Akira returned the favor of using Hikaru's first name. "I like you –a lot –and I don't want to risk the chance of losing you." He shook his head, sending silky strands flying around his face. "I'm sorry that this is all I can manage to do."
Hikaru put his hands in Akira's hair, relishing the feeling of the softness between his fingers. "It's plenty," he told the other boy. "It's plenty." With that, he lowered his face, using his superior grip to tilt Akira's head up so that he could press his lips against the other boy's. The kiss was chaste, more like a light brushing of lips, and it was over before Akira had a chance to protest that other people could be watching. Afterwards, Hikaru pulled the other boy closer, letting Akira rest his head against his chest, holding onto him for just a moment.
"Hey," Hikaru said when he released the boy, standing up on his feet.
"Hmmm?" Akira asked, shakily rising to his feet as well.
"Do you want to get breakfast?"
"Sure," the other boy answered easily, gracing Hikaru with a small, but genuine, smile.
And although, the two of them didn't leave the train station hand in hand, Hikaru still felt satisfied. He and Akira chatted easily, while looking for a place to eat.
"EHH!" Hikaru exclaimed, looking into the window of a familiar fast food restaurant. "Isn't that Waya and Isumi? Let's go in here! There's this breakfast burrito that I always wanted to try. Sadly, I've never been able to make it in here before breakfast ended." With one last thoughtful look towards his friends that were already sitting inside, he grabbed hold of Akira's arm and dragged the dark haired boy behind him on his way to the entrance.
Ugg, Akira thought, fast food … with Waya. He still had no idea why the other boy disliked him so much. But still, Akira gamely allowed himself to be dragged, amused that the same event had happened merely a few days ago.
Unable to keep the amused smile off of his face, he thought, Even if some things are different now, it's good to know that Hikaru is still Hikaru. So, he tried to put his best foot forward, as he greeted Hikaru's friends decorously and hoped for the best.
Author's notes: This ff was a lot better received than I thought it would be. Thanks to everyone who has been reading (especially those of you who took the time to review). I really do appreciate the support. I'm asking for one final critique. How effective was it as a piece of fiction now that it's all said and done? (I'm especially curious about reactions towards the ending, since I find them particularly difficult to write. I didn't want the story to drag or the end to be too abrupt …). Any suggestions on making subsequent works better?
Teaser for the sequel: Two years after the beginning of Hikaru and Akira's relationship, they start living together. What happens when an outside source finds out about them and threatens to expose it to everyone? (Will contain drama, fluff, and a sexually frustrated Hikaru … which may or may not lead to … )
Here's a scnipit of a scene, just for fun: … Cautiously, Hikaru turned the envelope over in his fingers, and then again. Curiosity sparked in his dark green eyes, and he finally satisfied it by using a pair of scissors to open the letter. When he pulled out the contents of the envelope he swore he felt his heart stop and then speed up as it slowly dropped into the bottom of his stomach.
"No," he whispered, gripping the edge of Akira's study desk in order to steady himself. "This can't be real." He shook his head refusing to believe what he was looking at. Who would do such a thing? …