Chapter 3: Second thoughts

Morning had finally come, setting an end to a night of restlessness, deep thought and the lack of sleep. Even though the red haired navigator had dreaded this day, she was grateful for the warm rays of sunlight driving out the hostile, chilly night's darkness. Today they would dock at the last island for the next few weeks, thus requiring Nami to make her decision on the current situation. And last night, she had made it. It had not been at all easy on her; all the time she had been troubled by thoughts of what her decision might result in. She just did not see herself as a mother yet; she was not the steady, motherly type. The way her life was right then, she was busy enough taking care of herself and her nakama. They constantly got themselves into great dangers. It was hardly the ideal environment to bring up a child in. She did not see herself giving up on her dreams and settling down just now. The only question was how her crewmates would take her decision. Would she be able to return to a normal life onboard the Going Merry?

Nami tightened her grip on the glass of milk and silently brought it to her lips. Her nakama, sitting at the table with her, were – more or less soundly – chewing on their breakfast. Sanji had yet again produced a culinary highlight, but Nami could not really savor it. She merely chewed on some warm, b uttered croissant because Chopper had insisted that she ate a little something before they would leave the ship. Now, the little reindeer was peeking at the navigator from time to time to make sure she followed his advice.

Nami let out a deep sigh and put down the now empty glass. Immediately, Sanji was at her side with a bottle of milk in his hand.

"Do you want some more, Nami-san?" he asked in a most gentle, soothing voice. He seemed, however, to be unusually tense.

"No, thank you, Sanji-kun." She replied lowly, trying to force a smile of reassurance for the cook. He gave a slight nod and, with a small frown playing on his forehead, sat back down on his chair.

Silence set in, only broken by Luffy's loud munching and slurping noises. It continued for quite a while.

Geez, why can't they just talk, or fight, or whatever else they'd normally do! Nami thought to herself. This silence is driving me crazy… She scowled and ran a hand through her hair.

"Anything wrong?" Zoro asked, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.

Nami sighed. This is it.

"Look, guys", she started, gaining everybody's attention, "I've made my choice: I'm not going to keep it." She stated plainly, gazing at her friends with a determined look.

Usopp and Chopper stared at her with wide eyes while the crew's captain simply stopped munching and looked around questioningly. Zoro closed his eyes and nodded silently; he had obviously expected this outcome. Sanji, however, seemed shaken and lowered his gaze to the floor. Keeping his eyes fixed at the wooden planks, he asked softly:

"Are you sure about this?"

Nami quickly looked at him. She just could not stand seeing him like that: all hurt and broken, and turned away.

"As sure as I can be", she answered calmly, "I just don't see myself like that, you know. And besides", she sported a false grin, "I'm a pirate, and a thief. There's no place for kids in my life."

Sanji nodded sadly and rose from his chair warily.

"Excuse me." He whispered and quickly walked out of the kitchen.

Nami bit her lip as she followed the cook with her eyes. How she hated to lie to him… To be honest, she was far from being sure about her choice. But at that time, it just seemed to be the only possible "solution". It would of course not be easy, but that was a sacrifice she had to make; for her future, her life, herself, her dreams, and in a way also for her nakama.

Under the somewhat shocked looks of her friends, she pushed herself up and turned to the door.

"We'll be reaching port in about three hours. So make sure you'll be all ready by then." Thus said, Nami stepped thought the door and out into the fresh morning air. A soft wind picked up and played with her red hair as she let her gaze glide over the vast ocean in front of her. The young woman gently placed her hands on her stomach, smiling ruefully, unshed tears glistening in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sanji-kun…"

"Zoro, the anchor! Usopp, Sanji, Chopper, the ropes!" Nami commanded as the Going Merry came to rest in the small port. The sun had set high in the sky and was now burning down onto the crewmembers. Sanji grabbed one of the ship's ropes and pulled at it with all this strength, tying it to one of the poles. So did Chopper, having transformed into his most human-like form. Usopp, being the physically weakest of the three, tried his best, but in the end only succeeded with the help of the ship's doctor.

The cook wiped the sweat from his forehead and gazed at the small town which lay before them. He didn't believe that many visitors ever reached this island, but still he should be able to gather all the supplies they needed. Zoro and Luffy jumped down right next to him.

"We gotta go get some meat!" the captain yelled enthusiastically and stomped off for the village. Zoro shook his head, grinning, and followed his crewmate. Sanji however could not share their happiness. Again and again he had turned back to steal a gaze at his Nami when she was not looking. She seemed very tense and troubled. He wished he could talk to her and make her reconsider her decision, yet he knew it was not up to him to make a choice. He had wanted to come with her, of course, to spend her support and comfort while she was having the operation. But she had denied without even looking at him. Only Chopper was going to accompany her.

I'll just have to be there when it's all over, he thought to himself. I'll be there for her and help her get over it. He knew that the whole issue would not be easy on her, and it would not be easily forgotten thereafter either. With a sigh, he pulled a cigarette from the package, lit it. The aromatic smoke always calmed him down; it was the only reason why he still kept up the addiction instead of just quitting it. Inhaling quietly, he watched as Nami and Chopper walked past him in the direction of the village, keeping up a low conversation. After a little while, the navigator turned her head back in his direction, locking eyes with the cook for an instant before turning back to the small doctor.

The look in her eyes bore itself straight into Sanji's heart and shook him deeply. He had not seen her dark eyes filled with that much sadness and worry since the incident back at Arlong Park. Sanji shook his head quietly and deeply inhaled the warm smoke. He just hoped that his Nami would get through all this; and that she would not be regretting this one decision for the rest of her life…

"This meat is gooooooood!" Luffy yelled, a toothy grin on his face. "I need more!"

Immediately, Usopp grabbed his plate to secure his food, but the captain had already gotten a hold of it and gulped it down.

"Whaaaaa Luffy, that was mine!" Usopp screamed accusingly.

Luffy just blinked and grinned back at him. "But it was soooo good, I just had to eat it. And besides, I'm the captain!"

"That's not fair, it doesn't matter!" Usopp retorted.

The two of them engaged in yet another long argument. It would, as always, get them nowhere anyway, as Zoro knew. Usopp would keep accusing Luffy, who would simply steal himself more and more food until something else drew his attention.

Zoro yawned, took another mouthful from the bottle of rum in his right hand and leaned back in his chair. I wonder what she's doing now… Even though he did not show it on the outside, deep down his mind was still with the ship's navigator and the grave decision she was about to put into practice. He had tried to pretend that he did not care too much about the situation; but even if he were able to fool his nakama, he would never be able to deceive himself. The results of that drunken night some months ago had been troubling him ever since he had known of it. Of course he had been drunk many times before, yet he was not aware of having ever done anything like… that. After all, it was not at all sure that he was the father of Nami's child; it was just as likely that cook. Somehow, though, he could not see any of them being a parent as for now: neither Sanji or himself, nor the expectant mother, Nami, herself.

However, he had to admit that, even though the idea of possibly being a father at such young age sent a chill down his spine, he found it an interesting thought. Having a little kid of his own certainly meant a lot responsibility, but he had always loved challenges. And the idea of a little son or daughter whom he could teach all his techniques and skills brought a smile to his lips. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be a "dad" after all. Yet even if he were the father, it was not his choice alone. He had to talk to Nami, now, before she would put her decision into action.

The green-haired swordsman put down the bottle, rose from his chair and turned for the door.

"Hey, Zoro? Whatcha up to?" Usopp asked, for a moment interrupting the argument with the captain.

"Just going for a walk", Zoro answered without looking back and set for the door.

"Eh? Zoro … taking a walk?" Usopp blinked incredulously. "Waaaaaaaah Luffy, that was mine!"

The hungry captain had used the distraction to seize the remaining contents of Usopp's plate and empty them into the bottomless pit he called his stomach.

Thus the argument started all over again. With a sarcastic grin, Zoro walked out of the bar. Those guys just don't seem to get what's going on…

"Would you like anything else?" The shop assistant asked politely, adding a handful of fresh vegetables into a large paper bag.

Sanji let his eyes wander over the goods the small shop offered. They would be needing lots of supplies since the next island again was a couple of weeks away from them.

"I'd like 3 kilos of those", he said and pointed to some delicious looking red onions, "and another 5 of those."

"Very well", the shop assistant nodded, smiling and gathered the foods the cook had indicated.

Hmm, what else would we need… Sanji thought to himself. His gaze fell upon a bowl of obviously perfectly ripened, scarlet-colored strawberries. He smiled. These are perfect. I'll make a nice strawberry parfait for my Nami-san. A dreamy look appeared on his face as he thought of the redhead he adored more than any other being of god's creation. His Nami-san…

Within split-seconds, his expression grew dark and grave.

Nami-san… Right now she's at the doctor's, waiting to have her baby removed… Sanji knew he had promised to support her no matter what her decision would be, yet he could simply not get used to the thought that their navigator would have an abortion. Certainly, as Nami was still in her late teens, a pregnancy would put her under a great strain, especially under the given circumstances: she was the navigator on a pirate ship whose whole crew had astronomically high bounties on their heads, her home and the people she could turn to for support were far away, and on top of all of that, it was not even sure who the father of her child was: either Sanji himself or their nakama, the swordsman Roronoa Zoro. All those reasons made her decision understandable.

Yet even though it was a child conceived after the excessive use of alcohol rather than the 'product' of a loving relationship between the expectant parents, it still had its right to live. Sanji balled his hands to fists at his sides. Yes, it was Nami's decision to make. However, he felt that he had to speak to her about it again, to talk it through. And if she still wanted to have the pregnancy terminated then, he would at least be by her side. She should not have to go through it all by herself. But he would have to hurry if he wanted to make it in time.

"Mister? Hello? Are you all right?" the shop assistant asked, eyeing his customer curiously.

"Y…Yeah, I'm okay", Sanji answered quickly, shaking his head to pull himself out of his reveries.

"I have some urgent business to attend to", he said, put some money on the counter and continued: "I'll pick this stuff up once I'm done." Before he had even finished the sentence, he was already running through the door, leaving behind a baffled salesman.

"Miss… Nami, right?" The doctor stood up from her chair and gently bowed to her patient.

"Ya…" the red haired girl answered hesitantly and softly closed the door behind her.

"Please, take a seat", the elderly woman offered, smiling.

Nami did as she was told. Staring down at her hands in her lap, she shifted uncomfortably.

"Well then", the doctor started and grabbed a notepad and a pen from her table. "You are here for an abortion, correct?"

Nami nodded, still staring down at her hands. Let's get this over with fast…

"So let us begin with the necessary check up. On the basis of its results I will then perform the termination", she walked over to a stretcher and gestured towards it, "Now if you would please lie down here and lift up your shirt so I can examine your abdomen."

Again Nami simply nodded, walked up to the stretcher and carefully lay down on it. Her cold, shaky fingers gently brushing over her stomach, she pulled up her shirt and tightly closed her eyes.

Man, it has to be somewhere around here. I'll be late if I don't find that place some time soon.

Even though Roronoa Zoro could undoubtedly be called one of the greatest swordsmen of all seas, his sense of direction broke all records in the opposite direction. As a little child, he had often gotten lost and this state had not improved, even with all his training and experience.

"Hey, Zoro!" the swordsman looked around himself for the source of the call. From behind him came Sanji, the ship's cook, walking towards him at a fast pace.

"Yo", Zoro answered and gave a short nod.

"Let me guess, you wanted to talk to Nami, right?" Sanji stated. "But now you got yourself lost and can't find the way?"

Zoro snorted in return and shook his head. "No, I… Ah damn, you're right…" he finally admitted. "I guess you know the way, huh?"

Sanji smirked at his nakama. "Of course I'll take you there. No need to ask."

The swordsman scowled. "Right… We've wasted enough time talking then, let's go."

The blond man nodded in return. "All right, this way!"

Thus said, they set off, running, for the outskirts of the little village. After a while, Sanji turned his head to glance at the swordsman, then directed his gaze back forward.

"Yo, Zoro", he said, his breathing hardly faster than usually, despite the speed they were running at.

The green haired man gave a snort, thus letting him know he had his attention.

"If… if you're the dad, what would you want Nami to do? I mean, you'd have to take responsibility, too…"

"Listen", Zoro interrupted his companion sharply, "I don't want to talk about it right now. This is not the time. So shut up and let's find Nami."

Sanji gritted his teeth. Oh how he would love to give a remark and start another one of those fights he found so much pleasure in, but rather he liked it or not, he knew that Zoro was right: this was not the time to be asking questions or indulging in arguments.

The rest of their run was spent in silence until:

"There, that's gotta be it!" Sanji said, pointing towards a larger house surrounded by tall trees. In front of it stood Chopper, the reindeer, talking quietly to an elderly lady. A few moments later, the door of the house opened slowly and a red-haired girl stepped outside. She bowed shortly to the lady, exchanged a few words with the little reindeer and then slowly set off in the direction of the island's port.

Damn, that was Nami… We're late… Sanji cursed himself inwardly and broke into a run for where Chopper was talking to the woman, Zoro right at his heels.

Right before the two men reached their nakama, the lady bowed her goodbye to Chopper and went back inside. Upon this, the little reindeer spotted his nakama coming towards him.

"Ss…Sanji, Zoro, what are you doing here?" he asked confusedly, looking at the two men in front of him.

"We came to talk to Nami", Zoro stated plainly.

Sanji looked after the young woman walking off in the distance. "But I guess we're late…", he commented with a sigh and turned back to Chopper. "That lady you were just talking to, she was the doctor, right?"

Chopper nodded in reply, his gaze alternating between Sanji and Zoro. "Mhm, they just got done…"

Just got done… Those words echoed in Sanji's ears, making his insides twist and turn, brought his mind to the edge of sanity. He wanted to scream out, release his frustration. But he realized it was hardly the right way.

"I'll go talk to her", he stated calmly and was about to walk off to follow their navigator when he felt a strong hand grip his arm.

Zoro had grabbed him and, shaking his head, shot him a fierce look.

"Damn it, idiot, let me go!" Sanji yelled, trying to yank his arm free.

"No I will not let you go", Zoro retorted, biting his tongue to keep from unleashing his enormous vocabulary of swearings and curses onto the cook.

"Zoro's right", Chopper said, pleadingly looking up at Sanji. "She needs some time alone right now. There'll still be a lot time to talk later."

"All right all right", Sanji spat and yanked his arm from the swordsman's grip in resignation. Why did it always have to feel so darn annoying when they were right?

Zoro diverted his gaze from the cook and looked after the woman who was now merely a small dot off in the distance. With an inaudible sigh, he slowly shook his head. Poor girl…

...to be continued...

a/n: Ah.. it felt so awkward to write this chapter... and I don't have the slightest idea why... What made this one especially hard was that it had hardly any "actions" but rather thoughts and feelings, which is hard when you are having trouble getting into the characters' heads'

However, I hope you still like it. If you do or not, I would love if you left me some reviews to tell me what you liked, what you hated and what parts you would like me to elaborate on in the future chapters. As for those, I have certain small scenes I want have in it, but I am still looking for inspiration. So if you have any ideas or wishes, don't hesitate to tell me!

To all my reviewers: thank you so much for leaving me those comments. It helps me get over my laziness and actually start writing. Now some "individual" words:

Rune-Spirit: Well, you should be able to tell about the abortion thing after this chapter What I'm gonna write about? Well, let me surprise you (if I am capable of doing so).

mushi-azn: Thanx Yes, Zoro as a dad is certainly a scary idea, but in a way also cute If I were in Nami's place and Zoro would turn out as the father, I wouldn't know whether to cry, laugh or just smack him upside the head'

Namibean: Soap opera, hehe nice idea' Well, that drunken night.. I guess blackouts can be pretty bad' never had one myself, I gotta admit, but some of my friends claim that they have no memory whatsoever from several nights after the exessive consumption of alcohol Would be my personal nightmare to have something like that happen to me thoughOo

gothywolfie: Shocker? Yes, certainly And for it's first b-day, the poor little one would get it's first mini katana' I wouldn't wanna be that kid's momOo

CeltiCrimson: I know they haven't been talking about the father thing alot (they do a bit in this chappie), but it's just that, in a way, with the pregnancy being in its very beginnings and the discussion of the termination, the question was somewhat pushed to the back of their minds. It's a thing about priorities, which is sorta hard to explain. Besides, I have no experiences of being a possible father, naturally, (and mothers usually know the know that the kid is theirs) so this is all some sort of speculation. And having Sanji and Zoro on rampage is a scary thought... So I guess their common sense told them to just try and stay calm and wait for the storm'
As for getting paler than Nami already is.. It is possible, trust me. I myself am about as tanned as a piece of chalk, but when my circulation feels like dieing on me, I break the limits of pure whiteness'
And thanx for the beta-reading offer, I will consider it