Chapter 6: Musings and monologues

The red-haired navigator let out an exasperated sigh as her stomach growled once again, for what seemed like the hundredth time in no more than a few minutes. Nami scowled. As if the morning sickness and constant tiredness had not already been enough, once she had entered the fifth month of her pregnancy, Nami's appetite had suddenly multiplied. Chopper had of course assured her that it was perfectly normal; that the small being inside of her was simply demanding more nutrition to continue its growth spurt. But still, even though they were quite expected, the changes still startled the young woman. With every new movement of her unborn child, every new side effect, every inch her stomach grew, it hit her again with full force: the realization of what was currently happening to her. Sometimes she was able to forget. Whenever she felt comfortable enough with herself, it was almost as if nothing had ever happened. Yet each change violently reminded her that all denial was indeed futile.

And another one of those reminders had just hit her once again. She had been trying to ignore it for a few days already. This indescribable longing. It kept her awake at night, constantly lingered in her mind, making it impossible for her to concentrate on anything at all. Yet the more she tried to repress it, the stronger the desire grew. And if she would not give in any time soon, it would gain complete control over her.

Hmm almost 11… he should be in the kitchen by now… she quietly thought to herself. With another sigh, she carefully got up from her chair and set off towards the kitchen.

She had been longing for it for so long already; she just could not wait any longer.

Nami blew all her self-control to the wind as she opened the door to the small kitchen and looked at the surprised cook.

"Sanji-kun, could you please do me a small favor?"

She grinned as she saw the happy expression on the young man's face. He would not deny her request, that was for certain.

Usopp and Zoro stared at their navigator, expressions of disgust and disbelief alternating on their faces. She could not be serious about this, it was just…

"Gross…", the marksman muttered, wrinkling his absurdly long nose.

"What are you talking about? There's nothing gross about it at all!" the redhead answered, frowning at her two nakama.

The crew's captain tilted his head to the side, shoving the 13th onigiri into this mouth – without having swallowed the previous twelve, and after considering Nami's statement for a while, nodded in agreement.

"It all looks the same in the end anyway." He commented with his muffled voice, grinning, and thus showing off a front of rice balls rather than his teeth.

Zoro wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Yeah, but… tangerines with molten cheese?" he stared from Nami to her plate and back.

"Jeez, what's your problem?" Nami grumbled and took a large bite of the orange and yellow mass on her fork. "See? It's great!" she commented the taste, and grinned at the others while chewing on the questionable culinary experiment.

"Ahhh Nami-swaaaaaaan… I'm sooo glad you like the taste", the blonde cook was happily dancing around the small kitchen "if there is anything else you would like, I will make it for my goddess in an instant!"

Nami simply smiled and nodded in reply, still chewing on her food while her crewmates could still not believe the sight in front of their eyes. Zoro listless pushed away his plate and snorted. His stomach was now performing acrobatic stunts; and a foul taste crept up his throat.

"This is just… ack…", he let out a gagging sound in lack of any other word better fitting to describe such a sickening feeling. "But I guess it's normal, too, eh?" he added, looking at the small reindeer next to him with a raised eyebrow.

"Mhm", Chopper nodded with a smile, "These cravings usually set in around the fifth month. The combinations may look strange, but it is actually only whatever nutrients the baby needs."

"More strange dishes to come then… great…", he sighed, rubbing his temples while trying to ease the nauseating feeling in the pit of his stomach. He would either have to start getting used to constantly new disgusting smells and views in front of him, or just find some other place to eat. Otherwise he would easily starve within the next few weeks.

Luffy, having completely emptied his own plate – and that of Zoro certainly – now had his mind set on a new target. Carefully, slowly stretching his arm, his fingers crawling forward on the table, he reached over to the navigator's plate and was ready to grab a piece of her strange dish when a searing pain suddenly ran through his hand.

"Oooooooowwww Nami…", he whined in his high pitched voice.

The navigator, noticing his attempted theft, had nailed his hand to the table with her fork.

"This is mine, go eat your own food!" she hissed at him, bending over her food protectively.

While the crew's captain caressed his punctuated hand, pouting, the other nakama simply snickered at the scene.

She acted like a cat protecting her kittens, Zoro thought with a grin. The only difference was that her kittens were nothing but a dish that looked (and smelled…) like the greatest culinary disaster ever that nobody but a pregnant woman could ever want to eat. Yet with a smirk towards his still pouting captain he quickly corrected his opinion. Well, pregnant women and a certain gomu ningen wearing a strawhat.

Nami sank back into the pillows and soft cushioning of her bed and uttered a small sigh. It had been another very long day; and though there had been nothing to do but the usual duties of cartography and navigation, it had been incredibly strenuous. Once again.

It was just unbelievable how even small things could easily tire her out those days. She would find herself dozing off while reading a book or even in the middle of her work. And Nami hated it. Not being able to do as she pleased whenever she pleased annoyed her enormously.

She moaned softly as she shifted under the covers to find a more comfortable position. Carrying around such an unusually large stomach considering her tiny frame had earned her a constantly throbbing pain in her back. It was not like she was not able to bare pain; even in her early childhood she had experienced and endured many hardships other people would never meet in their whole lifetime. And even though this pain seemed small and ridiculous in comparison to all that was past, its pure existence added to her growing annoyance.

But there was hardly anything she could do about it. Chopper had advised her to take rests every once in a while and to lay down rather than walk around, but that was only to prevent it from becoming worse. And constantly swallowing pain killers or the like was simply out of question. It could possibly harm the small being inside of her. Her child.

Nami smiled at the thought of the tiny human and gently placed her hands on her growing abdomen, softly rubbing it. This was her own child; her son, or her daughter. The further the pregnancy progressed, the nearer the predicted birthday drew, the more she found herself musing about her small offspring. No matter how much the situation startled her, made her nervous, and even frightened her; she could not help feeling a growing bond, and an increasing curiosity.

What would her child look like? Would it have her face, her hair? Or would it come after its father? It was all possible; red hair, blond, green, brown eyes, black eyes, curly eyebrows… The navigator snickered at the thought. Well, some possibilities should rather remain possibilities. But their outward appearances were not the only thing the child could receive from whichever of her two nakama the father was. Both men were incredibly powerful, had great determination, loyalty and an astonishingly strong will to survive. Of course there was more to each of them, so many aspects she valued about them.

And still, knowing she had all the support she could possibly ask for, she would have wished for her child to be born and raised under different circumstances. She had never really planned the whole "family-thing", as she liked to call it, but she had never even come across the idea of not being sure who the father of her child would be. A child should be born into secure circumstances. It should have its mother and father and be able to grow up in peace. That was what she had wished for when she had still been little. Her own childhood had been haunted and ruined, the child inside of her broken by that despicable merman. As a child, Nami had never been bothered much by the fact that she did not live with her real parents. After all she had found a loving and devoted, even though unconventional mother in the Ex-Marine Bellemere. She could not have wished for a better parent than her. On the day when Arlong had come to Cocoyashi and taken her stepmother from her, cruelly murdered her in front of Nami's very own eyes, a large part inside of the girl she had been was crushed. Within a matter of minutes the life as she had known had been taken from her, without any reason at all, leaving her hurting, grieving, hating, wishing for revenge for all those years. All that time, all the futile attempts of murdering the man who had split her tiny little heart into thousands of pieces, she had endured it. She had fought to live on…

"I chose to live on for you, Bellemere-san", she quietly spoke to the picture on her bedside table with a smile, "I'm sorry I was always complaining back then, making life even harder for you. But in reality…­", she paused, closing her eyes "I could not have wished for a better mother than you, Bellemere-san. I wish I was able to tell you all this, I wish you could see everything now; how Cocoyashi flourishes, and how your daughters have grown up to be strong, stubborn women just like you", she snickered quietly.

"I wish you could see me now. Though you would probably give me the tantrum of a lifetime, on how irresponsible I am, and careless… I'm going to be a mother myself, now, you know? I know, I'm still young and all, but I know I can make it. Remember how you told us that nobody ever believed you could take care of a kid when you first found me and Nojiko? You didn't care about them and gave me and Nojiko a wonderful family. And just like you did with us, I will manage with my own child. It will become a great kid, you'll see."

With a kind smile playing around her lips, the young woman softly caressed the framed picture and then sank back into the cushions.

Yes, she would manage, there was no doubt about it.

12.367… 12.368… 12.369…

Beads of hot sweat ran down the swordsman's muscular arms as he swung his heavy weights high above his head in the cold night's air. Night duties were perfect for workout, thus he had gotten used to spending those quiet, lone hours steeling his muscles. Yes, indeed perfect. Nobody to disturb or interrupt him, or even worse, watch him. Night directed his whole attention towards his training.

That night, however, his concentration showed great flaws.

"Kuso…", Zoro cursed under his breath as he lost count of his movements for the third time that night. He hated it when that happened. Constant, thorough and concentrated training was an integral part of his way of becoming the greatest swordsman. But that night, it seemed to be futile. No matter how hard he tried to concentrate and focus his mind on his movements only, he would not succeed.

He put down the weights with a grunt and sat down right next to them, resting his back against the mast. Something was haunting his mind lately; and the swordsman knew very well what it was.

Ever since he had learned that Nami was expecting a child that was possibly his, concentrating had become more and more difficult. Whenever he used to be alone, all sorts of thoughts and questions would start to form in his mind. Even though he knew that their navigator needed all the support she could get, the idea of probably being a father in just a few months made him feel extremely uneasy; frightened him, even. He had never really known his father, and even his mother had left him when he was still little. So he had no idea how to react to the situation. When he was young he had basically lived at the dojo Kuina's father ran and spent most of his time training with his swords. It was not something you could call a normal childhood.

He wasn't sure if he wanted his child to grow up the way he had. He was not even sure if he wanted to have children in the first place. His goal in life had been becoming the greatest swordsman of the seas for as far as he could remember, and having a family did not exactly fit well with this style of life.

But still, the more he thought about the child that was possibly his, the more he actually felt curious about it. It certainly would be fun to have a little son of his own, to teach him his techniques and watch him grow stronger. And if it was a girl… well, who ever said girls could not handle swords? After all, Kuina had been very skilled, to say the least…

He quietly grinned to himself. Yes, he could imagine himself being a father. Still it was only a possibility. There was still that cook… Suddenly an image flashed through his head: dozens of small, red haired boys with curly eyebrows, wearing pink aprons, hitting and kicking him while he tried to sleep.

Zoro shuddered.

"I need a drink… a strong one…"

Sanji turned around in his hammock once again, now staring at the ceiling. How he hated not being able to fall asleep. His night would be short again, for, right at sunrise, their enthusiastic captain would wake up from wherever he had fallen asleep and start yelling for food. The cook sighed once again.

"Guess I'll just ask Chopper for some sleeping pills tomorrow…" he muttered under his breath. Usually, whenever he was not able to sleep, he would go outside for a bit, and smoking a cigarette or two would do the trick. Sometimes he dearly wished he had not quit smoking. Yet all those times he simply reminded himself why he had done it: it was for the good of his Nami-san and her baby. And he would make it for them. No withdrawal could be strong enough to make him put the navigator's unborn child in trouble.

A smile crept across his face at the pure thought of the red haired beauty. She was beautiful to him even now, probably more beautiful than ever. After all, she was carrying what might be his child. The thought thrilled him; having a child with Nami was more than he would have ever wished for, and now it was probably turning into reality.

Yet no matter how happy the thought made him, doubts still surfaced from the depths of his mind. Was he at all able to be a father? A good father? Sanji himself had never known his father; the only father-like figure had been Zeff, the owner of the Baratie. Yet their relationship had been rough, more like the bond between a mentor and his student, and hardly as emotional as that of father and son. His child was going to have a different life, though. It would grow up with both his parents, and would not have to go through all the hardships he had had to endure in his early years. He would do his best. Even if the child should not be his, but that 'shitty swordsman's'. He would always be there, even though it would be hard, harder than anything he had ever experienced.

But life did not always go the way you wanted it to. And when it didn't, you would have to accept it; and move on. For everybody's sake.

Chopper perked his ears and sniffed in some air. It smelled differently all of a sudden, for some reason. He carefully put away some vials he had been using and walked over to the table where Usopp was busy telling Luffy an adventure story – strangely involving live alarm clocks and 20 feet tall blood hungry teddy bears – while Sanji was busying himself with preparing drinks.

"Ano…" the little reindeer spoke up.

"Hn? What is it, Chopper?" Sanji turned around to him, skillfully balancing various bottles and glasses.

"Do you know where Nami is?" he asked.

Sanji blinked in surprise. "Ah… She should be outside, on watch duty. Why, anything wrong?"

Chopper shook his head and ran off to the deck.

It took him some minutes to find the navigator. She had fallen asleep in the back part of the Going Merry, map still in her hands.

The small doctor carefully tapped her shoulder.

"Ano… Nami…"

The young woman stirred and finally cracked her eyes open, looking at the small creature in front of her. She was still quite drowsy; and thus it took her a few moments to realize where she was. Quietly muttering under her breath, she pushed herself up.

"This really has to stop…", she sighed, rubbing her eyes.

"N-Nami…?" A tiny voice reached her ears.

"Oh… sorry, Chopper", she had almost forgotten her small nakama "what is it? You look worried?"

The little reindeer looked worried indeed: a frown was written on his forehead and his 'hands' were brought up to his chest.

"I don't know, the… the air suddenly started smelling differently", he stuttered, "I was just wondering why that could be…?"

Now it was the navigator's turn to frown. She rubbed her temples and gazed up at the sky, studying the clouds, then closed her eyes to receive a better perception of the winds and various air currents.

"Damn…", she exhaled, paling visibly.

Chopper looked up at her expectantly, his face growing more and more worried.

"A storm… a storm's coming…", she said to answer the unuttered question. "And if we don't move, we'll be right in the middle of it…"

Chopper gasped, almost panicking.

"Get Zoro and Luffy and set the sails!" she shouted while running to the front deck.

"Sanji-kun!" the door opened immediately and the blond cook emerged. He knew that tone in her voice, and it never meant anything good.

"Sanji, grab the helm, starboard! We gotta get away from here as soon as possible!"

"H-hai, Nami-san!" he replied and ran out of sight.

Just as suddenly as the quiet ship had sprung to life, dark clouds had started gathering overhead, crackling with unreleased electricity. Rain started pouring down heavily onto the Going Merry as its crew made every effort possible to move the vessel from its previous route. After a few moments, the first sounds of thunder struck Nami's ears as she fearfully looked up at the pitch black sky. This was quite a large storm. A storm she should have noticed far beforehand.

The ship made a hard turn to starboard. Nami almost lost her footing, but in the last moment was able to get a grip of the railing. Her gaze shot right back up to the clouds; another round of thunder rolled through the air. In that very second, a lightning bolt came crashing down, right to the spot where the Going Merry had been only a few moments ago.

"Phew… that was close…", Usopp stated, knees shivering.

The whole crew had gathered on deck, watching the spectacle, witnessing their narrow escape from nature's wrath.

Luffy and the others only nodded in agreement to the marksman's statement.

Yet Nami stared down at her hands.

"Too close…", she pressed out between gritted teeth and balled her hands into fists. "I should've know… Just what kind of navigator am I…"

She slammed her fist down onto the railing with all her might.

"N-Nami…" Chopper stuttered, "I… it's not your fault, you just…"

The woman spun around to face her furry nakama.

"Of course it is, it damn well is!" she spat angrily and ran off, supposedly to her room.

The little reindeer sighed.

"What's wrong with Nami?" Luffy asked, obliviously as always, tilting his head to the side. "Why did she just run off?"

"She's mad at herself, dummy", Sanji said, resisting the urge to knock his captain upside the head. Not that he never did…

"Hn?"

"She thinks it's her fault that we got that close to the storm. Because she fell asleep on duty." Chopper explained to his rather slow captain.

The boy simply frowned. "But it's not her fault. It would have happened to any of us."

Zoro sighed from where he leaned against the mast.

"Well, I don't think it's that easy to her."

a/n: yaaaaaaaaaaawn It's like Oo.. 2:41am right now, and I actually intended to go to sleep early tonight.. Oh well, bad luck. Anyway, please forgive me any mistakes that are in here, my eyes are a bit blurry so I might have missed some.

This chapter wasn't that easy to write; it actually felt a bit unnatural. But I'm hoping I didn't get the mugiwara's too far OOC...

Not that much humor in this chappie either, just a few bits and pieces, and not really much romance either. But that's cuz I finally wanted to add in some more drama (so the ending won't come as too much of a shock). Yet I promise there will be some cute scenes in the next chapter! Title.. I don't know yet.. heh..

60 cough reviews? OMG...I can't believe ppl are still reading and even reviewing.. You put up with my writing for more than 5 chapters? You're awesome!

neway, now a word to my reviewers (gee, thank you all so much you're still reading, I'm baffledOo):

gothywolfie: I take advice from all authors, age doesn't matter! And since I know you're a good writer (love your ZoNa fic), I'm thankful for any sort of suggestions.Btw: ya, I'm personally hoping on duplicate shirts, too.. shivers

Illusion of a Lunatic: Eh thanx. The boom confused me looks around for bombs set to kill crappy fanfic writers

Santoryu3blades: Here's the update grins And thanx!

Alex: Thanx, I'm really glad you like it! And thank you for your good luck wishes (is there a thing like that?), I'm trying to be positive :D

Bevin: Naw, it wasn't harsh. Though I might not seem like it, I understand and appreciate criticism:D ... Green hair and curly eyebrowOo .. well, who knows what they were doing...

Zorro's girl: Sanji is protective cuz he's always right there when Nami needs something, that's just his way of showing his feelings. Zoro, however, is more the type to keep his feelings to himself. He's not really "whatever", but he prefers to look like it )

Celtic Crimson: True, that would have been nice, but I didn't feel like torturing poor Zoro that much D I'm so glad you liked the chapter!

Lightning-Cloud: Ooooooooh, thanx for all the praiseOo can't handle compliments very well

Shadw: Yeah, it is scary, and cute D

mushi-azn: What should I say? dances around happily wait a sec.. you're THE mushi? The K-F mushi? Oo I'm honored bows

Magus Black: Oh yes, they should, but I think Nami is scary enough even when she's not pregnant. I'd rather want to stay on good terms with her