Author/Banshee Queen: "He he he, like I said last chapter get saddled up guys forthis chapter there are some raunchy scene in it. No not really, I blurred them out. (Looks innocent) No really I did."

Disclaimer: (Burns Disclaimer Warrent)

Chp 17: "The Gods Are Coming Onto Me"

We see Briseis being thrown around like a beach ball between the men of Agamemnon's army.

(Briseis slaps a solider. He back-hands her. Achilles comes & rescues her from being branded like a cow & takes her back to his hut.)

(Achilles drops Briseis on a rug)

Achilles: "Well now that that's sorted out…" (Dusts his hands)

Briseis: "Owww! Thanks…I guess."

Achilles: "Are you hurt? I watched you fight them you have courage."

Briseis: (Shocked) "So you just stood there & watched & decided to step in once I was going to be made into a steak?"

Achilles: "Pretty much yeah."

(Rings out a cloth & tries to wipe Briseis' 'chest region'. Briseis slaps him & Achilles chucks the cloth at her. She throws it back. Achilles picks it up & towel-whips her)

Briseis: "Owww!"

Achilles: "Tee hee!"

(Briseis wipes her face with the cloth)

Achilles: "Ummmm are you sure you wanna' use that? Eudorus cleans himself and my feet with that."

Briseis: "Ewwwww!" (Chucks cloth at Achilles)

(Achilles picks up platter of food & shoves it in Briseis' face)

Achilles: "Eat."

Briseis: (Looks at food suspiciously) "Nnnno thanks. I've known men like you my whole life."

Achilles: "No you haven't. For 1 I am way sexier & 2 those so called 'men' you knew weren't men."

Briseis: "Whatever. Soldiers understand nothing of war. Peace confuses them."

Achilles: "And you hate these soldiers?"

Briseis: "I pity them."

Achilles: "Trojan soldiers died trying to protect you. Perhaps they deserve more than your pity if you know what I'm saying." (Winks at Briseis)

Briseis: Recoils "Why did you choose this life."

Achilles: "I didn't. I was born & this is what I am. An illegitimate child which my mother continues to tell me everyday in her letters. And you? Why did you choose to love a God? I think you'll find the romance once-sided. That's why they invented dil-

Briseis: "Do you enjoy provoking me?"

Achilles: "Yes I do. You chose to serve the Gods right? Even Ares the God of War who blankets his bed with the skin of men he's killed?"

Briseis: "Yes. There's nothing wrong with a nice rug made of human skin."

Achilles: (Sickened)

Briseis: "Sorry, got involved with Hannibal Lector & since then, looking at human flesh has just not been the same anymore."

Achilles: "Figures. I'll tell you a secret…"

Briseis: "Ok I really don't like where this is going."

Achilles: "The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal. Because any moment could be our last. Everything's more beautiful because we're doomed."

Briseis: (Yawns) "Could you tell me that later on tonight so I don't have to take a sleeping pill?"

Achilles: "No! And anyways, you will never be more lovelier than you are now."

Briseis: "Ok are you coming onto me?"

Achilles: "No comment."

Briseis: (Thoughtful) "I thought you were a dumb brute, could've forgiven- hey wait! You are a dumb brute!"

Achilles: "Does that mean you'll forgive me?" (Hopeful)

Briseis: "Nnnno."

Scene changes & we see Briseis sitting over Achilles with a knife to his throat.

Achilles: "Do it."

Briseis: "Do what?"

Achilles: (Rolls eyes) "Look woman, I know you find me irresistible & putting a knife to my throat is only an easy way out to get yourself laid."

Briseis: (Blushes then mumbles) "You'll kill more men if I don't kill you."

Achilles: "Many, even your cousin Hec-

Audience: (Grumbles in frustration & annoyance)

Achilles: (Chuckles nervously) "He he, sorry folks." (Looks back at Briseis & raises an eyebrow at her seductively)

Briseis: (Impatient) "Get on with it already!"

Achilles: "Fine! I was going to do the whole 'foreplay act' but if you want it that way…" (Rips off Briseis' dress)

Briseis: "Hey hey hey! Watch the dress Mr. Tan, these are virgin robes!"

Achilles: (Grins) "Not anymore…" (Kisses Briseis & camera blurs out love-scenes)

Boys in Audience: "Awww come on! We want a refund!" (Storm out of cinema)

Author/Banshee Queen: "I was only kidding, I wouldn't put those naughty scenes in, but to any who may have felt offended in any way I apologize for my explicit scenes of a sexual act...not."