I have found it very difficult to write Rory's POV, so I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint any of you who have been waiting for it, it is a bit short. Sorry it took me so long, with 6 people living in my house it was a constant battle for the computer, but now some have moved out and here I am.

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything to do with Gilmore Girls

I had screwed up my life so badly this time, and I know it hurt me and all the people that cared for me, especially my mom. I never really spoke to my mom after she got together with Luke, in the beginning it was because I didn't want to mess with the happiness that she finaly found, but in the end I knew if I spoke to her about anything that was going on in my life she would go straight to Luke and tell him. I was glad my mom had someone to talk to when I wasn't there and when Sookie was busy with her babies, but she didn't seem like the old Lorelai anymore.

I know people change, I know because I have too, but I want my old mom back. The mom that was always there for me to talk to. A mom that sat at home and had movie nights with me and mocked pictures and articles on celebrities with me. The mom that was there and not out with her boyfriend all the time. She slept over at his place more than she has ever done with other boyfriends. I knew that meant my mom was serious about Luke, and it scared me that she may never return to who she was before. When they were together she was different and when they broke up she was different, how was I ever going to get her back?

My mom had attended my trial and watched as they sentenced me to community service. The true reality of the situation hit me when the trial was over. I spoke to my mom a little bit and made plans for lunch. We met up for lunch, which was a bit akward to start. When she asked me to be honest with her and try explain what went wrong I decided I would be honest and not sugar coat it. I told her that I wasn't able to talk to her anymore, that she was always to busy with Luke. She tried to tell me that all I needed to do was ask her to make time and she would have and Luke would have understood. I knew that was true, I should have done that, but it angered me to think that I needed to ask her to spend time with me and I let her know that.

I could see my mom was upset and probably a bit shocked with my reasons for not being the good girl I used to. I was pratically blaming my mom for all my problems and she just sat there and took it all. When it came to trying to find a solution to fix what had gone wrong with us I told my mom that I needed it to be just us again. I needed us to sit and reconnect, I wanted to feel like I could come to her with my problems again. 'What are you saying', my mom had asked. 'I don't want you dating Luke anymore', I said. the words came out fast and I saw it was like a slap in my moms face. She was in shock. 'how can you ask me to do this?' she said.

I didn't know how to respond to that question so I changed the topic around a bit. 'I know you want me to go back to Yale and get out of the Grandparents house, and this is the only way. I need to you, just you and me.' After a few moments of silence she spoke, 'You have to know how much I love you to do this' I just nodded. After finalising the fact that I would move back home, reconnect with my mom then go back to Yale, she got up and left. I watched her get into the Jeep. She sat there for a few minutes before getting out what looked like pen and paper and writing something down. I could see she was crying as her body shook. She fold the paper and threw the pen in anger. She started up the car, wiped her eyes and left the parking lot.

I got up from the table and headed back to the pool house, I couldn't wait to pack and get back to my house, my mom and my house. It took me a while to pack and explain to grandma and grandpa where I was going. I didnt tell them that I had asked mom to break up with Luke because I wasnt sure yet if she would be able to go through with it. I promised them that I will still come around for Friday night dinners. I could see they were upset that I was leaving, but I'm sure that they were also happy as I was going back to Yale

Mom was waiting at the house for me when I got there. The place looked different. things were all over the place and it just looked different. My mom was up in her room so I went to ask her for her help with my boxes. She charged out of her room, closing the door behind her and pushed me towards the stairs. I dont know what it could be, but it seemed like she was trying to hide something from me. My mom did everything to keep me away from her room. She spent all her free time in there with the door locked so that I wouldnt disturb her. Those were the only times she didn't seem herself, otherwise she was doing great, I had my mom back.

Most of the summer had passed before I had the opportunity to see what my mom had been hiding in her room. She had left that morning in a hurry and forgot to lock her room. I walked in there slowly not sure what I was going to find. her room looked like a shrine. She had pictures, clothes, pretty much everything from her relationship with Luke displayed around her room. Even the dress she wore to the vowel renewal. I know I had done this to her and I wondered if I trully had my mom back, or was it all just an act around me. I never confronted her about her room just in case it changed things for the worst.

In my last week in Stars Hollow before officially starting at Yale again, I went to spend some time at the inn, when luke arrived. I knew that he had been away over the summer and that he was back, but I didnt expect him to come to the inn. I immediately thought that he was there to get back with my mom know that I was leaving. Maybe they had made that deal and that was why she still kept all his things in her room. I watched him hand Michel a letter for my mom. He came over and said hi to Sookie and I. I felt angry, and I know I had no right because he still looked so hurt and I was the one responsible for it, but the thought of him changing everything again made me angry.

He left quickly and I didnt see him again, I moved into the Yale dorms with my moms help. We promised to keep in touch more this year and make sure that no one got in our way. That was good for the first while anyway.

Thank you again to all that read and review my stories. Your opinions matter a lot to me. (both the good and bad) Please let me know what you thought of this chapter and wheher you think it is worth while continuing. For all of the readers that like my story 'a question worth asking' please bare with me and i will get the next chapter up as soon as the laptop is fixed.

thanks again