Hi everyone. Allow me to apologize for not posting this on Sunday, like usual. I've had SO much homework to do since last Friday that today's basically the first time I've had time to sit down and just relax. Sorry for the long wait. And thanks, jojo, for the concern. I'm fine – just exhausted.
I'm thrilled that you have all enjoyed the story so far and hope you like the last part. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Sirius:
"Did you know?" I demanded as soon we entered our dormitory.
Remus shot me a disbelieving look. "Why would I have?" he sounded offended.
"I don't know…" I faltered. "I thought that maybe when I introduced you, you might have…er…felt something?"
He managed to look annoyed and amused at the same time. "I'm a werewolf, Padfoot, not a vampire. I can't sense it on people." Fatigued, sore, and sleepy, he sank down onto his bed.
I sat next to him. "I didn't mean anything by it, Remus. It's not like when the Minister asked… I just– I shouldn't have–"
Mercifully, he interrupted me. "It's all right. It doesn't matter."
I rubbed my temples. This was horrible. I had never thought it would be someone I knew. And Jeremy? The clues had been staring me in the face and it still surprised me. "Maybe it wasn't him," I suggested halfheartedly.
How could I have been so daft? Especially considering that one of my best mates was a werewolf? Jeremy had scars on his face. He had rushed off just before the full moon. He had appeared exhausted after the full moon. He, not Hagrid's pet Wyvern, had obviously ruined the couch he'd gotten rid of because it'd been 'all clawed up.'
Remus scoffed. "It has to be him. How many unregistered werewolves could possibly be meandering about Hogwarts?"
He was right. Damn it. Jeremy had killed Evelyn Milay. His hut was on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Evelyn was found on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Granted, it could have been far from Jeremy's house but, considering everything else, probably not. "I just–"
"Do I even want to know what time it is?" James grumbled from his bed, poking his head up from between the pillows and bundled blankets.
Remus and I shared a guilty look. "Sorry, mate." I had been too distracted by Jeremy to think about not waking James and Peter, who had stayed behind because it would have been crowded to have a werewolf, dog, and stag running around inside the shack. Assuming there'd be room to run around with Prongs there.
"Oh, don't worry about it. I was only planning to sleep until noon anyway. If I'm six or seven hours shy of that it doesn't matter." Twisting and stretching, he half-yawned half-whined as he sat up. "What's wrong?"
"The Ministry found the werewolf who's responsible for Evelyn's death." I paused as Remus swung his feet behind me so that he could lie down. "It's Jeremy."
James' eyes narrowed. "The American friend of yours? The one I met after the last Quidditch match?"
I nodded morosely.
"Did you know he was a werewolf?"
Remus sighed very loudly but before he could complain, I placated him. "I think he was talking to me, Moony." I turned my attention back to James, who was nodding. "No, I didn't."
"What are you going to do?" he watched me carefully. "Are you going to do anything?"
"He's going to be found guilty of murder," I stated frankly. "What is it that I'd be able to do?"
Shrugging, he seemed relieved. "I guess I should be happy that you're not as close friends with him as you are with Moony. If you were, I'd probably wind up in prison for helping you break Jeremy out of that Confinement Center."
Out of the corner of my eye I saw that Remus was smiling through his concern. I, however, felt like doing anything but that. For Remus I would have done everything I could. Now that Jeremy had been arrested I couldn't help but think…better him than Moony. I felt horribly guilty but it was true, at least in my mind. James and Remus were my best mates. Jeremy was my friend and I hated for this to happen to him but…I wouldn't fight for his life.
Would anyone?
Thanks to Dumbledore, who had managed to bend the Werewolf Confinement Center rules in our favor, both Remus and I were going to be allowed to visit Jeremy. Honestly, I didn't want to go back in there. If Moony hadn't insisted I probably would have stayed far away from that hellhole, despite my friendship with Jeremy. It was just too depressing to think that our government sanctioned something like this. It would have been easier to go to Hogsmeade for the day and try to forget that such barbarity existed in our world.
Remus and I reached the bottom of the ridiculously long staircase that led into the lobby of the Confinement Center. He was about to open the door when I grabbed his arm and turned him to face me. "Wait."
Moony studied me with concerned, questioning eyes but said nothing.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I released him and indicated the entrance. "Do you really want to see that again?" This had to be harder for him than it was for me. He had recently been in one of those cells. The people who were there now where just like him.
"Of course I don't want to see it. I don't want to smell it and I don't want to remember what it was like to be kept there." On the surface he sounded and looked calm and unaffected. I could see and hear the underlying tension and pain. "We need to do this for him. We need to remind him that not everyone thinks he's a monster and that not everyone thinks he deserves to be here. We need to show him that someone actually cares."
I swallowed. "Is that what I did for you?"
His eyes drifted shut momentarily. When he opened them I could see how much he was suffering. It made me wish I couldn't read him so well. "When you're in a place like that….sometimes it's hard to remember those things. Your visiting me here…you have no idea what it meant."
"I'm glad I…helped," I hesitated, my eyes lingering on the door. "If it's the same guy who was working here last month, you should know he's very…hateful."
He nodded. "Thanks for the warning. Do you want to go in now?"
No. "Yeah." It'd be better to get it over with. Moving past Remus, I opened the door and stepped into the lobby. He followed me. The sound of the door shutting covered my soft groan when I saw that the same wizard from last time was indeed sitting at the desk. This time he wasn't reading and actually looked up as soon as we entered. Judging from the tightening of his face, he recognized me.
Moving forward, I spoke quickly so that Remus wouldn't have to deal with him. "We're here to see the unregistered werewolf that was brought in this morning. We're both to be allowed in. The Minister of Magic should have–"
"Yes, yes, he contacted me a short while ago," he snapped impatiently. "Sign in and I'll take you and your…friend," he eyed Remus icily, "inside."
Resting my left elbow on the desk, I picked up the quill and scanned the parchment we were expected to fill out. It hadn't changed since the last time I had come here. In fact… I nearly dropped the feather. Oh God. The last name on the list was mine. I had been the last person to visit someone in the Confinement Center. I hadn't noticed before but the last visitor before me had been…six months ago.
What, were they just locked away and forgotten? What about their family?
"Most of them figure we're doing them a favor. They don't want to deal with this…problem," the annoying bastard was more than eager to supply.
What? How had he…? I must have asked the question out loud without realizing it.
My fingers clenched the quill tightly against my palm. I was about to set the wizard straight when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Remus didn't have to say anything or even hold the contact between us, I knew what he was telling me. Stay calm.
I forced myself to relax. Biting my tongue, I filled in the appropriate lines and handed the feather to Remus. He quickly jotted down the requested information. When he was finished, we relinquished our wands and, after storing them, the man opened the hidden entrance.
I followed him in; Remus trailed close behind me.
Even being prepared for the stench did nothing to decrease its disgustingness. I tried to breathe only through my mouth but the odor seeped into my nostrils anyway. Immediately, my eyes began to water and I had to struggle not to retch. When took a step forward my head pounded and everything flashed into darkness for a moment. I paused and waited to become accustomed to the repugnant smell, not moving again until I had.
This time I didn't look into any of the cells. I kept my gaze focused on the narrow hallway in front of me. I didn't want to see the ghosts that haunted this place, I didn't want to see their emaciated flesh and bruised–
Wait. I couldn't hear Remus' footsteps behind me. I came to a stop and turned around. He was frozen in the doorway. Even from here I could tell he had tensed completely. Oh Remus. Why was he doing this to himself? I didn't want to come back here and I had only spent a half hour in the Confinement Center. He had been here for nearly an entire day and it have given him fuel for countless nightmares.
I returned to Moony's side. Placing a hand on his upper back I urged him onward. "Come on, Remus."
He nodded, lips pursing.
We continued together. When we reached the last occupied cell, we found the wizard waiting impatiently for us. "About time," he muttered. He gestured abruptly towards the cell. Simultaneous, we both turned to look inside. Remus remained silent – he was good at that – but I couldn't stifle my gasp of surprise and horror.
He was naked, just like Remus had been. Aside from the obvious bite and claw marks that had to be the result of this and countless previous full moons, he was covered in ugly welts and bruises. His stomach was practically one bloody, purplish-black sore. He had two black eyes and his lips were split in several places. Blood trickled from his mouth and from several wounds that were concealed by his hair. He had been pummeled. That man had pummeled him.
I ripped my gaze away from Jeremy. He was grinning. The wizard was grinning and looking smug and self-satisfied. For a moment all I was aware of was my pounding heart and stifling, loathing anger. Then, before I even knew what I was doing, I had pushed him back against a wall and was holding my arm across his throat so that he was gasping for breath.
Weakly, he struggled against me as he whined and wheezed for oxygen. His mouth opened and shut as if he was trying to say something but nothing intelligible came out. I pushed against his trachea harder and watched as his eyes widened and his face paled.
"Sirius!" Remus' urgent voice breached my rage. "Let him go!"
I didn't move. Remus was right. He hadn't said it but I knew what he was thinking and he was right. This wasn't going to solve anything. I could wind up getting in trouble if he decided to press charges. If nothing else, it would only make him angry. Angry enough to hurt Jeremy some more. But I was so infuriated about what he had done – about what he might have done to Remus if he had been here longer – that I didn't move.
"Padfoot!" he grabbed my shoulder and forcibly jerked me back.
I resisted the urge to shrug Moony off of me. Instead, I took a deep breath and stepped away from the wizard. He didn't fall but he did sag a couple of feet downward against the wall. Rubbing at his throat, which was red from where I had leaned against him, he noisily drew in a few breaths of air before straightening himself and glaring at me.
I returned the glare eagerly. Before I could say anything though, Remus spoke. "Please, let us in," he requested politely.
A scowl remarkably similar to the one Snape always wore contorted his face. "I don't listen to–"
"Let us in!" I ordered, cutting him off.
He smirked but took out his wand. For a moment I felt nervous, thinking he might try something, but he merely turned towards the invisible energy field and muttered a few words. When it hummed and came down Remus and I hastily entered the cell. Neither of us spoke until the man had raised the barrier again and could be heard walking away.
"Sirius," he shook his head disapprovingly, "That was stupid." His faint smile counteracted the reprimand of his words.
I sighed but didn't say anything.
Jeremy stumbled to his feet and looked at us disbelievingly. "Sirius…? Remus…?" he asked, wetting his chapped lips. It was as if he couldn't put any faith in what his eyes were telling him.
I felt guilty again. Guilty for not wanting to help him as urgently as I had wanted to help Remus. I had been frantic to get Moony out of here and have the charges dropped. I felt sorry for Jeremy and hated the system for doing this to him but…he wasn't Remus. He wasn't James. He wasn't even Peter. I felt bad for not caring enough, for not caring as much as I should because good friend of mine or no, he was a human being and he didn't deserve this.
"Yes, Jeremy, we're here," it was Remus who replied.
He shook his head and took an aborted step forward. "Why? I don't…"
"We wanted to see how you're holding up," I offered, smiling.
"We thought you might like to see a friendly face," Moony added.
"My own family won't come," he whispered, more to himself than to us. "You barely know me."
We barely knew him but we were the reason he was here. Or rather, James and I were. If Remus hadn't been released they wouldn't have gone after Jeremy. I couldn't quite feel sorry about that – Remus was free after all – but knew I should.
"Do they know you're here?" Remus inquired.
Jeremy nodded shakily. "Dumbledore contacted them. They're probably glad I finally got caught for something. This is the reason they…kicked me out, after all."
The more I learned about his parents the more they sounded like my own. "My family's scum too."
He smiled, just a little. Then he groaned and abruptly sat down again. "Sorry," he said faintly, "I get dizzy if…stand or move for too long." He shivered.
Shaking my head, I slipped out of my outer robe and handed it to Jeremy. "I'm sorry. I didn't think to bring you clothes." I hadn't thought to bring him anything at all.
He accepted my offering with a very brief grin and managed to slip into the robe without standing. Closing it around himself, he huddled into the thin folds of cloth. "Thanks."
"So, when did they…?" I gestured vaguely at his wounds.
Jeremy flinched at the thought. "As soon as I took Veritaserum and admitted to having killed Evelyn. Dumbledore tried to stop him – that man that brought you in – but he wouldn't listen."
I closed my eyes briefly. If they already knew he was guilty they wouldn't take long in…implementing justice. Even Dumbledore wouldn't be able to delay the execution now that they had a verification of culpability. They wouldn't even have to confirm that he was a werewolf by waiting for the next full moon because they had seen him transform back.
"Tomorrow morning at eight," he swallowed and paled visibly.
"What?" I asked, hoping he didn't mean what I thought he did.
"My…e-execution," he chuckled strangely. It struck me how changed he was. His joy was gone. The spark in his eyes that had always shown how happy he managed to be, had died. He was just…terrified. "I guess coming to England wasn't such a good idea after all."
"Fuck," I choked out. And really, what else was there to say?
"I wish I hadn't killed her," he continued brokenly. "I can barely sleep anymore because all I hear are her screams. But at the same time… Is it bad for me to be grateful that I didn't just turn her? Because then it'd be the Dementor's Kiss… Maybe I deserve it but…" he shook his head and fell silent.
"No," Remus' spoke quietly but with precise force. "No one deserves that."
Jeremy rolled his eyes and released a short bark of what might have passed for laughter in some twisted dimension. "I don't think it matters, in the end, who deserves what. I'm still going to die. Whether it's right or wrong, I'm still going to be executed."
What, so we were just supposed to accept it? Were we just supposed to go through our days saying that life wasn't fair and not do anything to change it? We had to do something to change things. Maybe we couldn't save Jeremy but somewhere down the road we had to save someone from this fate. We couldn't just let this continue. This was wrong. The way werewolves – so called 'dark creatures' – were 'dealt with' was wrong. We couldn't just attribute it to life not being fair and go along with our meaningless everyday routines.
But…what could we do? The werewolf rights movement was not a fight that had much support. It didn't even have enough support to be called a 'fight'. Everyone, with the exception of a few people here and there, hated werewolves. Or, even if they didn't, had no problem with how they were treated. How were we supposed to oppose the entire wizarding world?
Was there even a way to reach them? If they blithely accepted something like the Dementor's Kiss for any werewolf that turned another person, what could we show them that would change their minds? What was there that could reach through such consuming hatred and fear? Was there anything…at all?
Remus and I didn't say a single word to one another as we climbed back up the endless flight of stairs. We were too lost for words. It wasn't as if there was anything to say. Were we supposed to ask each other if we were okay? Who could be 'okay' with this? No. Silence best expressed the confusion and anger that I was feeling.
Dumbledore was waiting for us when we reached the main floor of the Ministry. For the first time that I could remember, he looked weary and…old. He barely smiled when he saw us and his eyes seemed more grey than blue. He didn't even say anything as we approached him.
"Professor," I greeted him emotionlessly.
He nodded. "Mr. Black. Mr. Lupin."
Remus came to a jerking stop beside me. When I glanced at him I saw that he wasn't looking at anything in particular. His eyes seemed to be wandering with no focus. Even when they shifted to me I got the distinct impression that he didn't see me – not really.
I reached forward. Just when my hand would have touched his arm, he jumped back. Then he turned and ran not further into the Ministry but out one of the exits that appeared to lead to a busy Muggle street. I was about to follow when Dumbledore stopped me with a softly uttered, "Let him go."
I frowned. "But he'll–"
"He's an intelligent wizard more than capable of finding his way back to Hogwarts," he interrupted me patiently.
I was more than confident in Remus' ability to get back to Hogwarts. He wasn't a first year, after all. I was simply worried. This wasn't like him. I sighed. Maybe he just needed to…get away. Find somewhere to think where no one could bother him. It was overly presumptuous of me to assume he'd want me to talk to me or that I could help him.
"Isn't there something you can do?" I demanded with a little more vehemence than I had intended.
"I wish there was. I truly wish that there was," he replied heavily after a moment's silence. "Hatred and fear are powerful enemies. They can't always be defeated in a timely fashion. It will be a long time before society realizes the atrocity it is allowing."
Yeah. If it ever does.
"Where is he?" I reached the far wall of the room and turned around so that I could continue walking.
James looked up from the essay he was writing. "I don't know, Sirius."
"It's three in the morning! Remus didn't disappear for this long even when he was trying to avoid me after the Prank." I hit the other wall and turned around again.
"Are you sure he isn't…wherever it is you two go?" he asked, sounding altogether too calm.
Finally, I slowly came to a stop. "I don't know. How could I? It's not on the map."
James did a poor job of trying to hide a smile. "That's the whole point, isn't it?"
He was right. For all I knew Remus had returned to Hogwarts immediately after running off. He could have figured that I wouldn't search for him in our set of secret passages because I thought he wasn't in the castle – or anywhere near the castle – at all.
"Should I go look for him?" I asked.
"I think you should go to bed," he set the piece of parchment aside. "He's eighteen. He can take care of himself. If he wants to talk to you, he'll find you."
"You should listen him. At least in this instance. He's actually right."
I spun and found myself facing an amused yet troubled Remus. "Moony…are you all right? Er…stupid question. Are you…better?"
The edges of a smile quirked the corners of his mouth. "Yes. I'm better. I'm sorry for worrying you."
"No," I shook my head. "It's all right. You do what you have to."
"Hmm," he grunted. I wasn't sure if he was agreeing or disagreeing. "I'm going to the execution tomorrow," he announced.
What? "Why? Remus, don't do that to yourself." That was the last thing he needed to witness. Not when the only thing he'd be thinking would be how easily that could have been him.
"This isn't about me. I don't want the last thing he sees to be someone who hates him." He paused and looked me in the eye. I knew what he was going to say next, what he was going to request of me.
"Don't ask me to go with you," I cut him off before he could even open his mouth. "Don't ask me to see that." The Confinement Center had been enough. I didn't need to watch a person be murdered.
"Fine," he replied tightly. "I won't." Then he turned and left the room before I could stop him.
"Is he trying to make things more difficult for himself?" Sighing, I turned back to James. My best mate was watching me disapprovingly. "What?" I demanded.
"If you're so worried about how he's going to handle it, why don't you go?"
"Because I've never seen anyone die and I'd like to keep it that way!" They would bring him into the room. They would say whatever spell they deemed appropriate and his body would fall limp. One moment my friend would be there, frightened and bound, and the next moment he'd be…gone. Was I supposed to want to see that?
"Isn't that a bit selfish? Remus wants you there. He might even need you there," he ignored the anger in my voice and refused to respond in kind. "You've said you'd do anything for me. You've said you'd do anything for him. Even if you hadn't…Jeremy is your friend too. Don't you owe it to him to give him something to hold onto when they…" He couldn't say it. He wanted me to go witness it but he couldn't even say it.
That wasn't what killed me though. What killed me was knowing that he was right.
I arrived only a few minutes before eight. I was surprised by how many people had packed themselves into the relatively small room. Why would anyone want to be here? I didn't see Remus anywhere. I caught sight of Dumbledore almost immediately but… Oh my God. My parents were here. The heartless bloody bastards! They were here to witness justice being served. The horrible thing was that they believed in it.
Disgusted, I continued searching the crowd. I wouldn't hide from them but I wasn't about to announce my presence either. I had nothing to say to them. My gaze next fell to a man that looked remarkably like Jeremy, only he was probably in his late thirties or early forties. Either it was an older brother or…his father. I was betting on the latter. The woman next to him was probably his mum. Were they sad? Horrified? Happy? I couldn't tell. I wasn't sure I wanted to.
Wait. There he was. Remus was standing at the opposite end of the room, near a door that wasn't the one I had entered through. It was probably where they'd bring Jeremy out. In fact, it was where they'd bring him out. I could see the chair where they'd put him for the…
I hastily slipped my way through the mostly silent crowd of people. Remus didn't see me until I was standing directly in front of him. When he did, he looked first surprised and then immeasurably grateful. He smiled. Or, more accurately, tried to smile.
I nodded and returned the barely-there smile. I wanted to apologize for last night and offer my support but trusted that my mere presence here did both those things. Silently, I shifted to stand beside him.
My heart was hammering. My chest ached. My arms and legs seemed cold. I was scared, scared of what I was about to witness. How could this be happening? God, why was I here? Why was Remus here? Why were any of these people here? Was it too late to run and hide somewhere? Whatever happened to the person I had been six years ago, the person whose greatest concern was what prank would better humiliate Snape and the rest of Slytherin? When had my world expanded to include such an injustice as this? Why did I ever have to learn what a miserable place the world really was?
The door to our right opened. First, the Minister of Magic entered the room in a calm, dignified manner. He was followed by Jeremy, who was not only bound by some sort of restraining charm but had a wand armed guard on either side. Right. Because with all the witches and wizards in this room him escaping was just so likely.
My friend – who I had never really gotten to know all that well – looked small and fearful. His eyes were barely brown anymore. They were so dark – so dilated – that I would have thought them black. He was so pale that his skin seemed closer to white than any other color. He was trembling slightly.
He was directed to sit in the provided chair, which he did without energy or protest. He was still wearing the school robe I had given him. Fortunately, it concealed most of his wounds. His bottom lip was swollen and there was dried blood streaking his face. It looked as if it had been spread by the flow of tears.
The wizards guarding him moved so that they were positioned next to each armrest. The Minister stood off to the side, angled so that he could see both the crowd and the condemned. Smiling amicably, he addressed the former.
Not wanting to hear his commendation of this event or the people here, I tuned out his voice and focused on Jeremy. After flitting over the crowd, his eyes settled on Remus and me. I thought that a spark of gratitude momentarily lightened the dark orbs but my imagination might have been giving me the comfort of that delusion.
I nodded once. It would have been cruel to smile.
The next few minutes seemed to pass both quickly and at an agonizingly slow pace. It seemed torturously slow because I appeared to be measuring time with the beating of my heart. It seemed to pass quickly because I never wanted the execution to take place. I wanted it to be some distant future event, not something that would be happening right now.
The crowd clapped sedately. The 'speech' was apparently over. My heart started racing so quickly that it was more of a constant hum than a precise drumming. Now. It was going to happen now. Oh God. I didn't want to be here.
"Prepare to execute the werewolf," the Minister of Magic ordered in a steely tone.
The two wizards nodded mutely, raising their wands in unison.
Numbly, my eyes raked over the crowd of people that had gathered to watch the murder. There was a satisfied glint in their eyes. It was as if they were witnessing a neighborhood pest being put down. Not one of them seemed to grasp the atrocity that was about to be committed. I wanted to scream at them. Don't you realize? I wanted to shout, don't you realize this is a person we're killing? This wasn't a rabid dog or deranged psychopath who had tortured and raped fifteen women. This was a human being.
My stomach gave a lurch. I was going to be sick. God, how could this be happening? How could they execute someone for doing something they had absolutely no control over? It wasn't his fault! He was the victim of a horrible condition that cursed him with madness once every month. He wasn't a murderer! He wasn't–
This wasn't real. This couldn't be real. This had to be some sort of sadistic nightmare. Any moment now a hand would grab my shoulder and shake me back into wakefulness. I would open my eyes and see Remus leaning over me, face gentle and concerned. He would ask me if I was all right and I would say that I was and thank him for waking me. Smiling, he would return to his bed and I would fall asleep again, knowing that everything was okay.
However, looking into Remus' tortured and fearful eyes, I knew the truth. This wasn't a nightmare. This was very real.
In unison, the wizards uttered words I was too distracted to understand. Sparkling, swilling light twirled forward from their wands and struck a shaking and ashen Jeremy in the chest. Lighting bolts seemed to encase his body as he uttered a small cry and shook and twisted in the chair. Then, they dissipated and left him stiff and motionless, eyes wide and unblinking. A look of pained dread was forever etched onto his face. His head fell forward.
I would never know how long I stood there, staring at his body, unaware of everything surrounding me. I just couldn't think, couldn't move. Something inside me died in the instant that Jeremy's last breath was taken, in the instant that his life was taken. Disgust beyond the capability of written or spoken language to describe rendered me frozen in mind and action. So I stood there, barely blinking, barely breathing until Remus gripped my arm with such strength that it hurt.
Then I shook myself and realized that almost everyone had left, that we were two of the few who remained. They had all gone off to enjoy breakfast or perhaps a morning walk. Or maybe they'd gone to work. After all, for them it was any normal day. For them, this was the equivalent of protecting the world from monsters and demons.
I shook my head helplessly. Someday things would change. Someday, they would realize they were wrong but until they did…
I glanced at Remus. A single tear was trailing down his cheek.
Until they did I would do my best to live with the knowledge that I was part of a world where things like this were possible. I was part of a world that condoned fear and hatred. I was part of a world that condoned murder.
THE END