Rule Number Six:
You don't know what you've got till it's gone, so be thankful for what you have while you have it.
o0o
The sun poured its heat from its perch in the sky, directly over Sesshoumaru's billowing silver hair. His golden eyes moved smoothly over his surroundings, coming to rest on the little girl behind him.
"Come, Master Jaken! The water is wonderful! So nice and cool!" She flicked her tiny hands across the top of the crystal surface, and sparkling droplets leapt from the river she was standing in to land on the small demon perched cautiously on the bank, cleaning his staff.
Sesshoumaru cringed inwardly as Jaken's shrill voice rang out in the small clearing, and he did his best to ignore the shrieking of the indignant demon.
They were not far from a village. The demon lord could smell their presence slightly east of his present location. The thought of leaving the girl there fluttered through his mind, and he let it leave as quickly as it came. The idea always passed through his brain when their entourage encountered a village, and he always ignored it. He never questioned his reasoning, but simply moved on, the little girl and his faithful retainer at his heels.
"Jaken."
"Yes, my lord?" The green creature looked up at Sesshoumaru's impassive face.
"Stay here with Rin."
"B-but my lord…."
Sesshoumaru walked away from the stuttering demon, chuckling softly in his mind. The demon lord found that he enjoyed giving as little information as possible to his poor retainer, taking pleasure in how flustered he would become. It would be so very simple to tell him, "I'll not be far, and will return by sundown. Don't worry; I'll be sure to come back for you."
'Ah, but leaving him without reassurance will only make him stronger. And…it's much more fun to torment him.'
The little girl, he noticed, never once worried that he would not return. It was always, "Yes, my lord, I will see you when you return." Or, "Yes, my lord, I will wait here for you." Never stuttering objections, never frantic worrying…not from Rin.
'As faithful as a dog.' The thought gave him pause. 'Hmmm…maybe that is why she is so easy to tolerate.' The dog demon almost grinned. Almost.
He continued walking in his ever-patient way until he could feel that he was quite secluded, in a small clearing in the forest they were traveling through. He found a clear piece of ground beneath a large tree and sat down, gracefully pulling one leg up toward his chest, and letting the other lay long and flat along the ground.
He leaned back against the tree behind him.
'Peace.'
It took a great deal of patience to put up with the pair that followed him daily, and it took a great deal of effort to block them out. Either way he went about handling his situation on a daily basis, Sesshoumaru found the need to pull away and be to his self every now and again.
It was in silent moments such as these that he was able to think. Thinking was what got him so far in life. Thinking is what made him a strong lord, and thinking was what placed Sesshoumaru on a higher level than other demons.
'And, though there is the very important fact that I am a full demon while Inuyasha is only a hanyou, thinking is what makes me truly different from my dim-witted half brother.'
He furrowed his brow. 'Damn.'
Every time he finally found the peace and silence that he needed to meditate and think on his situation in life, his mind somehow found its way back to Inuyasha.
'Well…he is my brother. Half-brother. It is only natural that he crosses my mind now and again.'
True enough, if he would be honest with himself, Sesshoumaru found his current relationship with his brother…unsettling.
'He…is the only family I have left. We are the last of our bloodline.'
He pulled out his sword.
'Tenseiga.'
He lifted it, horizontal to the ground, and examined it the way he had done thousands upon thousands of times before.
'Father…I wish I understood.'
Sesshoumaru shook his silvery head slowly, knowing he was lying to himself. He understood perfectly well why his father had left him Tenseiga, and not the more powerful sword Tetsusaiga. Bokusenou already explained to him that Tetsusaiga held in Inuyasha's demon blood, saving him from an eventual mutilation of himself, and those around him. And his father had made it clear before he died that he felt Sesshoumaru was becoming too power-hungry, too…
"Ruthless."
He let the word hang in the air for a moment, staring at his sword.
He lowered it, finally, and closed his eyes, dropping his chin. 'It's…it's true. I was absorbed in greed. All I sought was a position at the top…over all others. And I sought it so frantically, I wasn't thinking clearly.'
Sesshoumaru despised those who did not think their actions through. His own half-brother personified this characteristic. Inuyasha would persistently seek to obtain his goals with a single-mindedness that baffled those around him.
'It's almost as if he hasn't the brain power to think through his options. He always rushes in with that damn sword and swings it around, screaming profanities and practically foaming at the mouth.'
He smirked dryly. 'If it wasn't so pitiful, I'd find it entertaining the way he attacks, realizes that his attack will get him nowhere, and then…attacks again anyway.' He shook his head in befuddlement. 'Fool. He never stops to take in his other options. If it weren't for the rest of his pathetic little group, he would have gotten himself killed long ago.'
Sesshoumaru let his mind entertain him for a moment or two with images of a tiny Inuyasha screaming and attacking a solid wall of rock only to be flung back repeatedly, and returning for more.
He shook his head once again. 'No…no Father was right. My vision was narrow. I wasn't taking in the larger picture.'
He held up his sword again. 'Tenseiga.'
He had always thought it to be quite useless in battle. 'In battle, yes. But…afterward?'
He closed his eyes and let his arm drop to his side again, sword resting against his leg. 'I could revive those that were killed. But…the only ones dead would be my foes, and why would I revive them after taking the time and energy to kill them?'
He opened his eyes to glare at a nearby tree, which held quite still under his scrutiny. 'Unless I had allies fighting alongside me, and they fell in battle. But since when do I need allies? I fight, eat, sleep, travel, and live alone.'
His brows shot up momentarily.
'Well, shit.'
How very easy it was to forget that he now had traveling companions. They were so insignificant, he hardly thought of them, though they were always there at his side, or standing just behind him. Or, in Jaken's case, firmly planted in the ground beneath his foot.
'But if I hadn't been given Tenseiga…I would be alone.'
It was true, the only reason Rin was in his company was because he had revived her with the healing power of the sword. And Jaken would have been dead long ago had Sesshoumaru not saved him with Tenseiga as well.
And somewhere, deep in the recesses of his subconscious that he would rather not explore, Sesshoumaru knew that he must have had a reason for keeping the two with him. Even the silent two-headed beast served purpose, but in no way could he see how Jaken or Rin could be of any use to him.
'Except for entertainment value. Kicking Jaken has always made me feel much better.'
But Sesshoumaru never did anything without reason, so he knew there must be a very good explanation as to why he kept the two around. However, he didn't wish to know what the explanation was exactly. He just followed his instincts, and trusted his mind to lead him in the right direction.
He thought again of Tetsusaiga. 'Inuyasha, you can take down all the enemies in the world, fight terrific battles, accomplish all that you dream of…but if your precious companions were killed, would you trade it all in to save them?'
Sesshoumaru was nearly immortal. He would live for ages…already had lived for ages. He thought human life to be inconsequential because their existences were so very short…tiny dancing flames in the breeze, just waiting to be snuffed out. But…these mortals valued their lives because they were short.
'But if I was mortal too…and every second was meant to count for something, I suppose nothing would be insignificant, would it?'
He gazed at the sword in his hand. 'And if it were me in your place, Inuyasha? If you had been given the power to heal, would I still long for what you possessed?'
Fading sunlight glinted off the sword.
Visions of a tall and powerful youkai walking alone in the darkness flashed through his mind. He lived in majesty, only to destroy all of those that might be able to recognize his capabilities. He killed off all those who might fear and respect him. He lived alone and friendless, fading into legend, hated by all who heard his name.
He closed his eyes. 'That will not be me. I won't let it come to that.'
And then he envisioned a little girl with wide, adoring eyes, and a faithful retainer full of respect for his master. They would be gone so very soon. Well, the girl would. The demon would most likely live much longer than she, but not nearly as long as Sesshoumaru. And when they did disappear from existence, would he miss them? Long for their presence?
He sheathed his sword and stood slowly, looking into the darkening clearing. Twilight sank softly through the leaves, dripping onto the forest floor, gradually filling it with a murky haze.
The demon lord silently began his trek back to his revived companions, marveling at how they would have ceased to exist had he not been there with the sword he had loathed for so long.
'And if they are killed…would I revive them once again?'
He knew in his mind that an existence without someone to care whether you lived or died was a meaningless existence indeed.
'But…if Inuyasha were killed? Would I revive him? The brother I despise? The stain on my bloodline?'
He stopped by the river where he had left the others behind.
He looked at the little girl picking flowers next to the small, faithful demon seated in the grass, and could almost see a little hanyou with silver ears, playing next to his older brother.
Sesshoumaru felt a pang of regret that the idyllic picture in his mind had never existed. It seemed he was always repressing one painful regret after another. He often wondered how he could stand so tall with them all weighing down on his shoulders…it was no way to walk through life, lamenting every decision made.
He gazed at the darkening sky, thinking on the half-demon that always haunted his thoughts.
'Would I miss him if he were gone?'
He thought of all the things he had never said to Inuyasha. It wasn't his fault he was born a hanyou. It wasn't his fault he was caught between two worlds.
He swallowed, and answered his own question in a whisper.
"Yes…I would."
o0o
Next:
Rule Number Five:
Don't expect life to be fair, because it won't be.
o0o
Alright. I'm sorry. I know, I know…I suck at updating. But it's just so hard when it's summer! I don't have any homework to avoid by writing stories!
And this one was hard because… I kept going off subject. I was trying to make it something different than The Tree and The Flower.
Any artists out there? If I could draw, I would dearly love to draw a picture of Sesshoumaru sitting there, imagining a tiny little Inuyasha repeatedly attacking a brick wall. Ah, it makes me giggle and chortle and snort and all that jazz. I can just see him… with a tiny little voice screaming curses at the wall of rock for not falling nor fighting back. Teehee. gazes off in the distance, laughing at her little images Now there's a good pic… A picture of me, imagining Sesshoumaru imaging Inuyasha attacking a wall… buah ha ha. I need to learn how to draw. I'd hang that one up on my wall for inspiration.
Ok, tiny rant over.
I am trying not to think about how complicated the next Rule will be… because I'm definitely thinking Kagura. Eesh. I don't know… we'll see if it works.
OH OH! I have an idea for a little, erhmm… off subject one shot I want to write. It's going to be started TONIGHT! Though, it will probably not be posted for a while… unless I stay up late and finish it. (Which would probably be better, as I get a little crazier as the night progresses.) Anyhoo, it's about the cliques I've noticed that occur in Inuyasha fanfiction. It will be chaos! Anarchy! Full scale blow out! CRAZINESS! Ah, I'm so excited. And it will be my one proper chance to release some of this pent up sarcasm I've got going on. Weee!
As for this one… I'm sorry. It sucks. It must be rewritten… not entirely, but mostly, I'm sure. I already have some ideas on how to fix it, but… for now I'm putting it out there for input, and because I'm terrible at updating. Heck, I might just leave it the way it is, and hope for something better in the future, rather than trying to fix what's already been done.
And, I haven't been just lazing about doing NOTHING while I haven't been updating! NO! I wrote a contest piece. So…you should go read it and tell me what you think of it. It's at MMO, and the link to my work on Media Miner is on my profile. I would put it here, but… it's original. And… this is a site for fanfiction, and NOT originals. So there we have it. I wrote it for a contest, but dedicate it to Jen, because I luff her and she was my inspiration! luffs the cutest CutiePieHentai
And, off topic, HOLY CRAP! Beautiful actually made it onto a C2! (sigh it will always be my favorite piece… no matter what I write. It was my first one ever, and I will treasure it always. Squee!)
FFN:
Pyrinsomniac: hugs back Ah, of course you have been helpful! And I very much appreciate you taking the time to write. I, personally, suck at writing reviews. But you do a fine job of giving me the fuzzies!
Strike: My dear, I don't think I want to know why you have come about the knowledge that kittens are not tasty! I hope it wasn't from personal experience! Eeep!
Medlii: Ah, thank you for the input, and encouragement! I appreciate your reviews!
Tasha: Thanks! And I'll try not to disappoint.
Lucinda: You know, I believe we are kindred spirits! We both adore Miroku. (It's true… he's Teh Hotness yum yum.) We both hate it when people end stories all mushy like and out of character. We're both… um…slightly rambunctious? Crazy? Mildly psychotic? (Just kidding on the last one… . ) And thanks… I like things to be brought full circle. Even though I didn't quite make it with this one. It was more like… a parabola. OH OH! I think I know how I can bring it all the way around. goes to edit story, not bothering to delete any of her previous comment because, dadgummit, she just doesn't feel like it. Ok… I just made some mass editing and adding and… well, that's as close to a circle as I'm gonna get. throws a kitten in Lucinda's general direction
MMO:
Dark Angel of Looooooove: Teehee! blush Why thank you! I'm glad you likey. And… I'll be better at updating once summer is over, and I have severe procrastination to do. I promise.
JEN: May I just say… I LOVE YOU! For those that might be reading this, Jen (CutiePieHentai) is the coolest person ever. You're so insightful and… flattering. Hehehe. And that bit about the little Inuyasha playing next to his big brother? Yeah, that was an extra sappy little bow JUST FOR YOU.