Rule Number Four:
Learn to laugh at yourself, and laugh at life.
o0o
'This could only happen to us. I have never seen a group of people with worse luck. Ever. In my life.'
Miroku tried his best to remain calm and assess the situation at hand.
"Would someone PLEASE get me down from here?" Kagome frantically tried to maintain her grip on the tree branch she was dangling from.
Miroku marveled that she had even had the presence of mind to grab the branch as she flew through the air. The demon that picked her up was probably the most disgusting one he had ever seen. 'And I've seen a lot of demons….' It had sniffed at her hair, sneezed directly all over her, and flung her to the side, into a very tall, very decrepit tree.
'I can't believe that smelly thing was able to move so fast!' One second, Kagome was behind him, and the next she was in the demon's fist, angrily ordering it to put her down. The thought of her making demands of the brute would have been more amusing had it not been such a dangerous situation.
Crack.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
Miroku ran beneath the breaking branch, ready to catch the woman should she begin to fall.
"Hang on, Kagome!"
"What does it LOOK like I'm doing, Miroku?"
'Ahh…good point.'
He turned to the side. "Inuyasha, could you hurry it up, please?"
The hanyou growled, leaping from one side of the demon to the other. "I'm trying, you asshole! I can't even figure out what this thing IS let alone how to kill it!"
Suddenly the demon scooped Inuyasha up into its clawed hand, sniffed at him, favored him with another sneeze, and tossed him…well, Miroku wasn't exactly sure where it tossed him, but he watched as the blob of snot-covered hanyou was flung off into the distance, profanities ringing out over the forest.
'Well, it's got quite an arm.'
"Jewel…shards…" it gurgled, "it" being a giant blob of greasy fur with a very large, very runny, pig-like snout.
'Is that an eye or a mole in the middle of its forehead? Oh wait…I think that's its mouth.'
"Give me shards!"
'Yes, definitely its mouth. Eesh…'
Miroku ran into the clearing and prepared to attack when he heard the branch crack ominously and Kagome screamed once again.
'Shit.'
He scrambled to get back underneath the branch as she began her rapid descent to the ground, but stopped short when he saw a streak of tan and fire swoop beneath her and Kagome was gone.
"Hiraikotsu!"
Miroku turned to the shout and the whirring noise as the formidable weapon sailed through the air and sliced through the demon.
And it was gone. Torn right down the middle, and left in a steaming pile of…grossness.
Kirara landed next to him and he saw Kagome clinging to the cat's fur, trembling and covered in mucus.
The breaking of brush and loud cursing could be heard as Inuyasha forced his way into the clearing.
He took in the scene before him, looking from Sango, to the steaming pile of remains, and back again, before screaming, "IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!"
Sango, having just rejoined the group after a trip to her village to replenish supplies, grinned and adjusted her stance, shifting her weapon from one shoulder to the other.
"Ahem…" Kagome cleared her throat. "I'm pretty sure some of us are in serious need of a bath." She glanced up at Inuyasha, and down at her clothing. "Yep…nearest source of water, please. Now." She lifted a sticky arm and watched as a large stream of mucus dangled from it before dropping to the forest floor. "AGGH! PLEASE! NOW!"
Miroku chuckled and wandered along the path, following Inuyasha's own trail of mucus to the nearest springs.
o0o
Sango chewed happily on her fish, listening to Miroku's reports of the past few days. They had been eventful, to put it lightly, and Sango marveled that they were still alive.
She could hear Kagome yelling randomly from the river where she was washing the slime from her body and clothes. She grinned, "Better her than me."
Miroku smiled and chuckled softly. He shook his head, and stared up at the full moon above them. "Amazing, isn't it? All the experiences we've had…the absolute hell each of us have been through."
Sango frowned slightly at the tone in his voice. 'I've never heard him sound bitter before. Ever.'
He continued, without looking from his focal point in the sky. "I mean, we've each lost both our parents, except Kagome, and she lost her father. And we've all nearly been killed more times than we can count. And we're on a mission to destroy someone who seems to slip through our fingers every time, and we're trying to complete a jewel that is repeatedly stolen from us."
His tone grew angrier, "And every one and his brother is out to stop us, slow us down, or kill us. And those that aren't trying to harm us, certainly aren't trying to help."
He stood suddenly and ran his cursed hand through his hair, ruffling his bangs, growling in frustration.
Sango rose and hovered worriedly behind his left shoulder, wringing her hands. "Miroku…that isn't true, many have come to our aid in the past."
He flung his hand outward, gesturing angrily at the little villages in the distant night. "We con them into allowing us to stay I their homes, for a meal…and you say they're helping us? Don't you ever get frustrated, Sango? Don't you ever want to yell at them? Shake them and pound it into their brains that if it weren't for us, they could be dead by now. Naraku could have the jewel, and they would be destroyed. We are the only people standing in the way of him, and they don't even see it. They think we're dangerous, that we're con-artists, and they try to run us out of town."
He quieted slightly and folded his arms across his chest before whispering, "They curse Inuyasha for being a half demon, and he's saved us all." He shook his head again, and stared at the ground. "We've been dealt a raw deal, Sango."
She bit her lip and nodded slowly. "You're right." She nodded more firmly this time, "Yes, of course. You're right. We have. And it isn't fair."
She caught his gaze. "But you know…we were dealt this lot in life, and there is nothing we can do but make the best of it. We do what we have to. We were chosen to take on these tasks because we're stronger, smarter, faster, and better than the rest. Surely that's some comfort?"
He grinned. "Yes…I suppose it is." He sat down abruptly, as though the energy had suddenly been drained from his being. "We do all we can, and no one can ask more, and we don't know how to give less. I don't think it's in any of us to give up and quiet. Not even little Shippou."
She smiled softly and sat next to him, for once unafraid of his roaming hands. "You know, Miroku, I've never heard you so upset before."
He gave her a lopsided smile. "I usually know how to grin and bear it, and…I usually know that everything will turn out right in the end. Or, as right as they can ever be after all that has happened."
He fingered the prayer beads around his cursed hand, looking at them thoughtfully. "I always figured that…I am who I am, and I have to make the best of it. It's just that…sometimes it gets to be too much, you know? You sit and you think about all the lives gone, and all the people you're fighting for, and how it seems so huge and endless, and at the same time so insignificant because no one really knows how much you've been through, and…you just get so tired."
She smiled and elbowed him playfully in the side. "You? I thought you were tireless. Every time we want you to stop joking and be serious your antics never end."
He gave her a dazzling smile, full of flirtatious sparkle. "Ah, my reputation precedes me. It's true, dear Sango, I am tireless. My 'antics,' as you call them, can last well through the night and into the morning. Would you care to find out just how long I can last?"
Sango stared at him in disbelief, shaking her head slowly. "Unbelievable. I swear, you are just…just…ugh, words can't describe."
He chuckled and wiggled his eyebrows at her, earning a glare from the woman next to him.
They both turned suddenly, at a sudden crashing noise coming through the trees. Both reached for their weapons before realizing that it was simply Inuyasha and Kagome, returning from cleaning their clothes…at opposite sides of the river bend.
Miroku smiled at them both. "Well now. You two clean up nicely." Kagome rolled her eyes, while the hanyou simply glared.
Sango bit her lip. "I can't lie to you…you both looked ridiculous with all the mucous dripping from your long hair."
"You looked like used handkerchiefs."
Sango nearly choked, restraining a laugh at Miroku's remark. Encouraged, he went on. "I must say, Inuyasha, mucous green is a stunning color on you."
Sango could feel her ribs crack beneath the strain of forced silence, and Inuyasha cracked his knuckles menacingly at them both. Kagome pulled him away before he could pounce Miroku, and stood between the two, facing Miroku.
"Knock it off, Miroku, or I won't hold him back next time. That was disgusting." She shuddered before turning back to Inuyasha, "And you…you should at least make an attempt at drying your hair before you catch…ca…ca..ACHOO!"
Inuyasha stared cross-eyed in wide-eyed horror at the long, glimmering strand of snot dangling from the tip of his nose. Kagome covered her face belatedly, blushing furiously before handing him a tissue.
He narrowed his eyes at her, shot a death-glare at the pair sitting on the ground across from him struggling not to laugh, before glaring at the handkerchief held out in Kagome's trembling hand.
He looked back at Miroku and Sango once more and ground his teeth together before opening his mouth to speak. "Not one…word." With that, he calmly plucked the cloth from Kagome's hand, turned slowly back toward the river, and walked away.
Kagome shut her eyes tightly and willed her blush to recede from her features, trying to ignore the sounds coming from behind her.
Sango and Miroku fell into each other, Sango laughing with tears streaming from her eyes, and Miroku gasping for breath, letting it out in silent, overwhelming laughter.
In between laughing pants, he somehow found the ability to speak. "Oh, Sango…I just realized something…" He laughed and wiped tears from his eyes. "It is SO much easier to laugh at the misfortunes of others than it is to complain about my own."
He gasped again, biting his lip. "And no matter how unfair I think life is…never let me complain about it again." He moaned and clutched a stitch in his side. "Because no matter what happens to me, I keep forgetting that it could be far…far worse."
They both stilled suddenly when from across the clearing they could both hear Inuyasha sneeze loudly before his screamed curses echoed through the darkness. Sango looked into the eyes of the man seated next to her, and they both broke into renewed fits of laughter, reveling in the knowledge that even when it all became too much for them to handle, they didn't have to handle it alone. While life had dealt them a hard deal, it had also blessed them with wonderful friendships.
o0o
Next Chapter:
Rule Number Three:
Think before you speak. Your words can help or harm more than you realize.
o0o
SOOOO, that took me ages to update. I send my profuse apologies to you all. ARGH, I hate school.
I just have to say, the section at the beginning where they are fighting the demon… is my most favorite moment I think I've ever written. It was actually part of another fanfiction I tried writing a while back, but gave up on… so I changed it, and put it in here. I just have this excellent vision of Inuyasha and Kagome dripping in snot, being flung through the air. BA HA HA HA.
Alright so…the next chapter…no clue what to write. Yeah, if I could pass this one off and have someone else write it I think I would. Blargh, so tired. And I need to write chapter four of Taking Over, which I am LOVING to write…no lie, I didn't realize AU's could be so much fun.
Anyhow, I gain a severe amount of inspiration from reviews. Seriously, you guys lift me up. When I don't want to write I think… "But…but there are people out there who are actually being kind enough to review. You can NOT let that go unnoticed! You can NOT forsake their generosity! WRITE, YOU FOOL!"
So, thank you. I love you.